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Fire Storm

Mackenzie Dare

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Feb 22, 2013 Werner rated it really liked it

Shelves: action-adventure

Note, April 7, 2015: At the conclusion of my original review below, I noted that I'd welcome a chance to read a good re-write of this book. The author actually did such a re-write (keeping the same cover, title, and ISBN), taking account of some of the constructive criticisms raised by readers of the original (though she kept the long, detailed Gospel presentation near the end --which some readers liked). I've finally finished my re-read; and the improvements, IMO, justified the fourth star! Hop Note, April 7, 2015: At the conclusion of my original review below, I noted that I'd welcome a chance to read a good re-write of this book. The author actually did such a re-write (keeping the same cover, title, and ISBN), taking account of some of the constructive criticisms raised by readers of the original (though she kept the long, detailed Gospel presentation near the end --which some readers liked). I've finally finished my re-read; and the improvements, IMO, justified the fourth star! Hopefully this first novel won't be the author's last.

For various reasons, I'm running behind schedule in reviewing this novel; usually I like to write a review of a book right after finishing it. But better later than never! :-) The author is a Goodreads friend of mine, and donated a copy of the book to the library where I work. (At the time, I hadn't said I'd read the book; so the donation wasn't made with the expectation of getting a review.)

To put the book in its broader literary context, it has features of the mystery genre, but I wouldn't classify it as a "mystery" in that sense; it doesn't have a sleuth as such, and it doesn't follow the usual plot arc nor all the conventions of a typical mystery. Rather, I'd classify it more as a straight action-adventure tale. It also fits solidly into the tradition of "Christian fiction," in the Christian book trade sense; an avowed goal of the author's (which she achieves) is to write a book free of bad language and sexual content, and to share the gospel with non-Christians. (More on that below.) But while much of fiction in this tradition falls into the light romance category (and might be said, at the risk of stereotyping, to appeal more to female than male readers), that's not the case here. We have some loving married couples here, but there's no "boy meets girl" storyline; most of the major characters are male, and the action emphasis would appeal to most males. (As well as to many females; I've got several female family members and friends who like an action read!)

Dare does several things well here, which earned her the three stars. Her prose style is mostly serviceable, despite a few awkward sentences and grammatical slips; it gets you into the story and doesn't turn it into a train wreck of butchered English, unlike some self-published efforts. While her characterizations aren't particularly sharp, at least two of them are memorable; and I came to care about the people in the book and to get invested in what happened to them. The plot is fast moving, and contains some genuine surprises; and she proves to be pretty good at writing dialogue, especially sarcasm and male banter (and husband-and-wife banter). Her action scenes can be edge-of-the-seat, even jaw-dropping in one case; there's no shortage of jeopardies and physical challenges, and she handles the fire-house/paramedic milieu (Jess' husband and other key characters are firemen) with an assurance that suggests she knows about it first-hand or through close family. (Her scenes of suspense and danger in the choking, searingly hot nightmare of a burning building are very gripping.) The same could be said for her knowledge of horses. There's not much texture to the narrative to give it a strong sense of place (it's set primarily in and around a small city or large town in Illinois, but we don't know exactly where in Illinois --it's a big state!); but when she does try to create texture, as with her descriptions of the natural world in autumn, she has good results, and I'd only wish she'd done more along that line.

The main problem here is something that's endemic to self-published first novels which haven't been edited by anybody (either working for a publisher or free-lance): the author hasn't developed the kind of careful craftsmanship and attention to significant detail that would avoid major errors, and with no vetting by anyone else, nobody caught these. (There are a number of simple proofreading issues as well.) In the first chapter, a barn burns to the ground --but the same barn is standing, and used, more than once later in the book, with no notice of the anomaly. (Dare has noted, in a personal message, that she herself never caught the discrepancy, and that a friend who did thought the couple had a second barn; but very few small farmers have multiple barns.) Also on the subject of barns, nobody in real life stores handguns in the barn rather than in the house! At another point, a driver accelerates his car to 90 mph in order to pass a farm vehicle going 10 mph --and the farm vehicle subsequently passes him again, without speeding up. Between Chapters 1 and 2, the town where Jim works changes from Spring Valley to Springbrook. There are various plot developments that aren't, per se, implausible, but which needed more explanation than we get. At times, Dare tells when she should show; and I'd have appreciated more back story on some characters, and earlier introduction of some elements so that they don't come across as much as convenient spur-of-the-moment inventions. All of the characters have the same speaking style, and it varies inconsistently between formal and more colloquial. These aren't all of the editorial issues, but they're the major ones.

The Christian elements in the story are prominent. Two couples who are at the heart of the story are church-going believers; the role of prayer in their lives, and quotation of Scripture, bulks large. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and indeed is realistic in that context. It's also a plus that the Christian characters aren't portrayed as perfect plaster saints; they have their shortcomings, and they wrestle very much with the problem of theodicy here --faith in the face of bad things that happen to good people isn't automatic. But a lot of aspects of evangelical lingo and subculture are taken for granted, whereas for many non-Christian readers they wouldn't be; and this can unnecessarily distance the characters and their world from those same non-Christian readers. If an author wants a book to reach that audience as an evangelistic tool, that's a hindrance. Moreover, the presentation of the gospel near the end of the book is so detailed theologically, and goes on so long, that it would almost certainly come across as "preachy" and off-putting to most non-believers. That kind of discussion, again, is realistic in a context where someone has spiritual questions; but secular readers looking for entertainment don't want to be beaten over the head with those questions when they aren't thinking about them themselves. IMO, a short and pithy planting of a seed that can grow later is a preferable strategy. True, fiction writers as diverse as Evelyn Waugh (in Brideshead Revisited), Sigrid Undset, and Krisi Keley manage more sustained treatment of spiritual searching. But they integrate it into the text of the story better, and don't make it come across as a sermon from somebody who has all the answers to someone whose search has a tacked-on feel. The intent here is good, but the execution lacking.

Overall, though, I think Dare's writing has promise, if she develops discipline with it. I'd like to read a version of this book that had a good re-write, and I think it might earn four stars --or more! ...more

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