Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter, #5) in The Never Dying Group

Mar 21, 2008 Lela rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2014-reading-goals, 2015-reading-goals, my-library, favorites

In my young years, I listened to this book (Jim Dale, you wonderful man!) probably something like 20 times. I certainly had an alarming affiliation with it. At that time, this was my favorite book of all of them. Since then, Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows came out. And, after the series ended my obsessive listening diminished slightly so that it was several years since I'd read the book when I started it this August. The experience was certainly and decidedly different from any other time In my young years, I listened to this book (Jim Dale, you wonderful man!) probably something like 20 times. I certainly had an alarming affiliation with it. At that time, this was my favorite book of all of them. Since then, Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows came out. And, after the series ended my obsessive listening diminished slightly so that it was several years since I'd read the book when I started it this August. The experience was certainly and decidedly different from any other time. (Note to reader: if you have not read this book or seen the film equivalent, my review will be of little or no use. At all. And will spoil significant plot points.)

Reading this book as an adult, I can see Harry struggling to be adult and confronted with adult issues, but I can also see quite clearly that he is not one. When I was reading this book as an adolescent, I could fully justify Harry's behavior—not only was it reasonable, it was downright warranted! However, on this reading I was frustrated with him. It bothered me that he wouldn't listen to the people who were trying to protect him. It seemed so clear that all his antics were unnecessary and that the Order had things under control. Not for the first time, Harry creates the problem that he's attempting to solve.

Now, this, to me, was a terrible reckoning to come to. I felt tortured by my own knowledge as the story unfolded and I saw the chain of events catalyzing into imminent tragedy. Interestingly, I was also antagonized by the knowledge that J.K. Rowling almost killed off Arthur Weasley. Somehow as a child reading the books, I didn't mind death or possibly didn't understand it in a personal way. Alarmingly, I don't remember being wholly upset when Sirius dies, and I don't remember being too worried about Arthur in the hospital. And although I continued to read the book as my perspective was changing, I never read it wanting or fearing any other ending than what I was given, because I knew the ending.

Having had several close deaths and frightening incidents in my life this past year has opened this book for me, brand new. When Arthur's in the hospital all I could think is that he almost died. He almost died. And I kept imagining his family without him, and it broke my heart. Now, on the flip-side, I finally allowed myself to imagine that Sirius could have lived, too. That he could have been like a grandpa to Harry's children, and that hurt. But what hurt even more was feeling, at least for a time, that it was not only preventable, but also entirely Harry's fault.

And this is where it got interesting for me. My own desire to blame Harry for being young I felt most deeply when Dumbledore says that youth cannot know how age feels, but it is wrong to forget what it was like to be young. I had read this book so many times understanding, and this time I didn't. And I wonder if that's why this particular book gets so much criticism. We, as readers, have forgotten what it was like to be young. To not know how it ends. We've become so secure in our godlike presence in books that it's easy to blame the characters for not seeing how they are going cataclysmically awry. And thus we're making the same mistake as Dumbledore. In essence, as a reader you either understand Harry's follies and justify his character (despite how insensitive he is to others), or you look on at him with reproof, wishing he could be better because you are better.

J.K. Rowling has managed to capture the adult perspective and youthful one and show those follies equal, so that at the end we reach the calm resignation and understand that there's no point to assigning blame at all. Because this is how it ends. It is the tragedy of life that we cannot rewind, we cannot control those around us even if we see how terrible the reactions to their actions must be. And we must face the world with compassion, understanding, and the desire to be better than we are but to never forget who we were. ...more

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