Love in the Big City in Reading with Namjoon

Jan 15, 2023 ~A ☾ rated it it was ok

2.5 this kinda sucked lmao

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May 21, 2023 jess rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2023, korean-literature, anton-hur, queer

"If obsession isn’t love, I have never loved."

Ever since there was time, there was love. It doesn’t matter if it’s coming from mythology, an ancient Greek philosopher, XVIII Century poets or modern pop sensations, love is the most intricate, all-embracing emotion and the hardest one to describe. Though the focus has always been on romantic (heterosexual) definitions of love, these days there is more and more content destined to explore its different layers and how it is intertwined with every ot "If obsession isn’t love, I have never loved."

Ever since there was time, there was love. It doesn’t matter if it’s coming from mythology, an ancient Greek philosopher, XVIII Century poets or modern pop sensations, love is the most intricate, all-embracing emotion and the hardest one to describe. Though the focus has always been on romantic (heterosexual) definitions of love, these days there is more and more content destined to explore its different layers and how it is intertwined with every other emotion; and that is where this little book comes in.

Following a young queer man as he navigates his early youth years, the stories of his life get mixed with feelings of love, lust, regret. Being young can feel as blinding as the lights and neon signs of a big city at night, there is an urgency to be somewhere, to fast forward life, to throw it all away and create something meaningful and everlasting, but eventually we find out that the most important thing in life is the people around us and how we grow with them.

"Each of us is a universe and, as part of the larger universe, we live and move and have relations with each other—isn’t that fascinating?"

If there is one thing queer people discover early on in their lives is that family comes in different shapes, that doesn’t specifically mean blood. The narrator's relationship with his mother is a complicated one, she follows the archetypal religious/homophobic mother, who thinks that she is doing some 'great good' to their child but is actually creating a life filled with unpacked trauma. "In the end, I could not talk to her about him, or about the photograph. I couldn’t talk to her about anything at all."

On the other hand, Jaehee embodies his found family, and becomes his strongest bond. "Jaehee learned that living as a gay was sometimes truly shitty, and I learned that living as a woman wasn’t much better." So when she moves on with her life and he stays the same he is devastated.

There’s a brilliant take on the dynamic of toxic relationships, when he gets involved with an older man, who isn’t comfortable at all with his sexuality, and he erase himself to become part of this other person, losing completely his sense of self. The anxiety, alienation, constant second guessing that comes with being with such an insecure, hurtful person is depicted so well.

The book feels natural, like a good friend telling you a story, or even yourself reminiscing about the past, though hopefully no Kylie in your memories. Park Sangyoug, has stated that the stories have autobiographical elements at some point, which leaves me even more at awe with the brutally honest depiction of his life. There are scenes that are a little hard to digest, but he doesn’t stop to stir the wound, on the contrary, it all flows so fast that if not taken a minute to take it all in, it might even appear shallow. He tackles on these issues without hesitance, which, in my opinion takes a lot of courage, constructing a main character that appears before us completely naked in a soulful way.

"How silly of me to have prepared an answer for a question that would never be asked. An excess of self-awareness was a disease in itself."
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May 14, 2023 Nat⁷ rated it liked it · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jan 21, 2023 isa rated it really liked it

4.5⭐️

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Oct 25, 2023 kim rated it it was amazing

"sometimes his very existence to me is the existence of love itself." SUCH A BEATIFUL QUEER NOVEL!!!! loved the fact that it explored young's human-to-human connection with different people all throughout his life. this also showcased how complex a queer relationship could be. ...more

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