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Notes on a Silencing: A Memoir

Lacy Crawford

Start date: November 1, 2020

Finish date: November 15, 2020

Discussion: 2020 Books

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2020 Books

Notes on a Silencing
By Jade · 1 post · 20 views

last updated Oct 20, 2020 09:03AM

The Water Dancer
By Jade · 2 posts · 20 views

last updated Apr 19, 2020 12:46PM

What Members Thought

Aug 23, 2020 Chelsey (a_novel_idea11) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: book-of-the-month-club, novelideasbookclub

Lacy Crawford's powerful memoir addresses her time at the elite private high school, St. Paul's in rural New Hampshire during the early 1990s. During her fifth form year at the young age of 15, Lacy was viciously assaulted by two boys, aged 18. Confused, scared, and alone, Lacy reacted like many individuals may, she retreated.

Quickly, the situation spiraled out of control. Ashamed, Lacy hadn't said a word to anyone about the assault. In fact, she wasn't even certain she had been assaulted as she Lacy Crawford's powerful memoir addresses her time at the elite private high school, St. Paul's in rural New Hampshire during the early 1990s. During her fifth form year at the young age of 15, Lacy was viciously assaulted by two boys, aged 18. Confused, scared, and alone, Lacy reacted like many individuals may, she retreated.

Quickly, the situation spiraled out of control. Ashamed, Lacy hadn't said a word to anyone about the assault. In fact, she wasn't even certain she had been assaulted as she kept trying to minimize the event in her mind. But when her throat hurt weeks later and she was barely able to eat, she realized she required medical attention. Never however did the school ask how her throat had become so infected. In fact, the school never even told her what was wrong. Only later did Lacy learn that she had contracted herpes from the assault - so far down her throat that they couldn't even be seen without a medical device.

Later that year, after suffering more violence at the hands of men and more cruelty from her peers, the St. Paul's coaching staff humiliate her even more by informing their student athletes that if they had been intimate with Lacy Crawford, they were at risk for contracting a sexual disease.

Violating her privacy, shaming her into silence, and opening the door for ridicule and abuse, the very teachers, chaplains, and authority figures that should have been protecting her, failed Lacy again and again.

This was a challenging read. The trauma Lacy endured and her reactions to it were devastating and heartbreaking. So much of her story resonated with me. Victimized again and again by the boys, the system, her school, doctors, and even her family, Lacy was utterly alone.

We learn Lacy's story - the ugly truth of it. Lacy is brutally honest not only about the attacks, but also about her ownership to her reaction and all events surrounding the attacks. Her honesty is refreshing and reminds us that the violence she endured was because of no fault of her own.

I also loved how she opened the story by addressing language and the various terminology surrounding rape and sexual assault. She raised so many excellent points that really make you think about how society has normalized violence against women - so much so, that many women aren't even sure when they've been the victim of an assault.

The timeline was a bit challenging as it's nonlinear. Overall, I did think it worked for the book because it gave us a bigger picture of Lacy's entire life at St. Paul's, it didn't easily define a "before" and "after" the initial assault, and I think it put us more in the mindset of a 15 year old. ...more

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Nov 15, 2020 Jade rated it it was amazing

Shelves: letsreadrantrepeat-book-club, 2020-reading-challenge

The November pick for Let's Read Rant Repeat Book Club!

This is an incredible memoir, and we were so lucky to be able to speak to the author herself about her memoir and the issues it raises. Take a look at our author chat here.

My Thoughts

This memoir was truly shattering.

The memoir opens up with the assault. Laid bare upfront, this was a decision made by Crawford to get it out there, to address the ulgiest part of the story first.

Please bear in mind that this memoir can be triggering for ass ...more

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Nov 14, 2020 See Sara Read rated it really liked it

Lacy Crawford was sexually assaulted at boarding school when she was 15. In her memoir, she recounts the attack and the years that followed. At first, Crawdfor remained silent, just trying to finish school and get to Princeton. Once news of the attack begins to come out, Lacy is silenced by St. Paul's school and the many powerful people they have in their pockets.

This is a frustratingly important book that shows the cracks in many powerful institutions. This book also serves as a call to action ...more

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