Beautiful Cheese (Celine)’s Comments (group member since Jul 20, 2011)

Beautiful Cheese (Celine)’s comments from the The utterly pointless random group group.

Rosie looked up from her cradle and said "goo goo gaga!" and spit in her nurse's face.

Cut to bookshop. A bookseller is standing behind the counter. Arthur enters the shot and goes up to the counter. The bookseller jumps and look about furtively.
Bookseller Er... oh!
Arthur Good morning, I'd like to buy a book please.
Bookseller Oh, well I'm afraid we don't have any. (trying to hide them)
Arthur I'm sorry?
Bookseller We don't have any books. We're fresh out of them. Good morning.
Arthur Well what are all these?
Bookseller All what? Oh! All these, ah ah ha ha. Your referring to these ... books.
Arthur Yes.
Bookseller They're um ... they're all sold. Good morning.
Arthur What all of them?
Bookseller Every single man Jack of them. Not a single one of them in an unsold state. Good morning.
Arthur Who to?
Bookseller What?
Arthur Who are they sold to?
Bookseller Oh ... various ... good Lord is that the time? Oh my goodness I must close for lunch.
Arthur It's only half past ten.
Bookseller Ah yes, well I feel rather peckish ... very peckish actually, I don't expect I'll open again today. I think I'll have a really good feed. I say! Look at that lovely bookshop just across the road there, they've got a much better selection than we've got, probably at ridiculously low prices ... just across the road there. (he has the door open) Good morning.
Arthur But I was told to come here.
Bookseller (bundling him back in) Well. Well, I see. Er ... (very, carefully) hear the gooseberries are doing well this year... and so are the mangoes. (winks)
Arthur I'm sorry?
Bookseller Er .,. oh . .. I was just saying ... thinking of the weather.. I hear the gooseberries are doing well this year... and so are the mangoes.
Arthur Mine aren't
Bookseller (nodding keenly, with anticipation) Go on...
Arthur What?
Bookseller Go on - mine aren't ... but...
Arthur What?
Bookseller Aren't you going to say something about 'mine aren't but the Big Cheese gets his at low tide tonight'?
Arthur No.
Bookseller Oh, ah, good morning, (starts to bundle him out then stops) Wait. Who sent you?
Arthur The little old lady in the sweet shop.
Bookseller She didn't have a duelling scar just here ... and a hook?
Arthur No.
Bookseller Of course not, I was thinking of somebody else. Good morning.
Arthur Wait a minute, there's something going on here.
Bookseller (spinning round.) What, where? You didn't see anything did you?
Arthur No, but I think there's something going on here.
Bookseller No no, well there's nothing going on here at all (shouts off) and he didn't see anything. Good morning.
Arthur (coming back into shop) There is something going on.
Bookseller Look there is nothing going on. Please believe me, there is abso... (a hand comes into view behind Arthur's back; Bookseller frantically waves at it to disappear; it does so) . . . lutely nothing going on. Is there anything going on?
A man appears, fleetingly: he is Van der Berg (Dick Vosburgh)
Van der Berg No there's nothing going on. (disappears)
Bookseller See there's nothing going on.
Arthur Who was that?
Bookseller That was my aunt, look what was this book you wanted then? Quickly! Quickly!
Arthur Oh, well, I'd like to buy a copy of an 'Illustrated History of False Teeth'.
Bookseller My God you've got guts.
Arthur What?
Bookseller (pulling gun) Just how much do you know?
Arthur What about?
Bookseller Are you from the British Dental Association?
Arthur No I'm a tobacconist.
Bookseller Get away from that door.
Arthur I'll just go over the other...
Bookseller Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.
Arthur Why not?
Bookseller You know too much, my dental friend.
Arthur I don't know anything.
Bookseller Come clean. You're a dentist aren't you.
Arthur No, I'm a tobacconist.
Bookseller A tobacconist who just happens to be buying a book on ...teeth?
Arthur Yes.
Bookseller Ha ha ha ha...
Lafarge enters room with gun. He is swarthy, French, dressed all in black and menacing.
Lafarge Drop that gun, Stapleton.
Bookseller Lafarge! (he drops the gun)
Arthur There is something going on.
Bookseller No there isn't.
Lafarge OK Stapleton, this is it. Where's Mahoney hidden the fillings?
Bookseller What fillings?
Lafarge You know which fillings, Stapleton. Upper right two and four, lower right three and two lower left one. Come on. (he threatens with the gun) Remember what happened to Nigel.
Arthur What happened to Nigel?
Bookseller Orthodontic Jake gave him a gelignite mouth wash.
Arthur I knew there was something going on.
Bookseller Well there isn't.
Lafarge Come on Stapleton. The fillings!
Bookseller They're at 22 Wimpole Street.
Lafarge Don't play games with me! (pokes bookseller in eye with the gun)
Bookseller Oh, oh, 22a Wimpole Street.
Lafarge That's better.
Bookseller But you'll need an appointment.
Lafarge OK (shouting out of shop) Brian! Make with the appointment baby. No gas.
Van der Berg appears with machine gun and a nurse (Carol), he is basically dressed as a dentist. But with many rings, chains, wristlets, cravats, buckled shoes and an ear-ring.
Van der Berg Not so fast Lafarge!
Lafarge Van der Berg!
Van der Berg Yes. Now drop the roscoe.
Arthur There is something going on.
Bookseller No there isn't.
Van der Berg Get the guns.
The nurse runs forward, picks up the gun and puts it on steel surgeon's tray, and covers it with a white cloth, returning it to Van der Berg.
Arthur Who's that?
Bookseller That's Van der Berg. He's on our side.
Van der Berg All right, get up against the wall Lafarge, and you too Stapleton.
Bookseller Me?
Van der Berg Yes, you!
Bookseller You dirty double-crossing rat.
Arthur (going with Bookseller) What's happened?
Bookseller He's two-timed me.
Arthur Bad luck.
Van der Berg All right ... where are the fillings? Answer me, where are they?
Arthur This is quite exciting.
Brian enters carrying a bazooka. Brian is dressed in operating-theatre clothes, gown, cap and mask, with rubber gloves and white wellingtons.
Brian Not so fast.
All Brian!
Arthur Ooh, what's that?
The Others It's a bazooka.
Brian All right. Get against the wall Van der Berg ... and you nurse. And the first one to try anything moves to a practice six feet underground ... this is an anti-tank gun ... and it's loaded ...and you've just got five seconds to tell me ... whatever happened to Baby Jane?
All What?
Brian Oh ... I'm sorry ... my mind was wandering ... I've had a terrible day... I really have ... you've got five seconds to tell me... I've forgotten. I've forgotten.
Bookseller The five seconds haven't started yet have they?
Van der Berg Only we don't know the question.
Arthur Was it about Vogler?
Brian No, no... no ... you've got five seconds to tell me...
Van der Berg About Nigel?
Brian No.
Lafarge Bronski?
Brian No. No.
Arthur The fillings!
Brian Oh yes, the fillings, of course. How stupid of me. Right, you've got five seconds ... (clears throat) Where are the fillings? Five, four, three, two, one, Zero! (there is a long pause, Brian has forgotten to fire the bazooka but he can't put his finger on what has gone wrong) Zero! (looks at gun) Oh! I've forgotten to fire it. Sorry. Silly day. Very well. (quite rapidly) Five, four, three, two, one.
A panel slides back and the Big Cheese appears in sight seated in adentist's chair. The Big Cheese is in dentist's gear, wears evil magnifing type glasses and strokes a rabbit lying on his lap.
Big Cheese Drop the bazooka Brian.
All The Big Cheese!
Brian drops the bazooka.
Big Cheese I'm glad you could all come to my little ... party. And Flopsy's glad too, aren't you, Flopsy? (he holds rabbit up as it does not reply) Aren't you Flopsy? (no reply again so he pulls a big revolver out and fires at rabbit from point-blank range) That'll teach you to play hard to get. There, poor Flopsy's dead. And never called me mother. And soon ... you will all be dead, dead, dead, dead. (the crowd start to hiss him) And because I'm so evil you'll all die the slow way ... under the drill.
Arthur lt's one o'clock.
Big Cheese So it is. Lunch break, everyone back here at two.
They, all happily relax and walk off. Arthur surreptitiously goes to telephone and, making sure nobody is looking, calls.

Stealing underwear. Lol

So my sister was on probation and my mom said "so you are gong to be just like your sister and have a probation officer?"
And I said "I don't want a probation officer I want a parol officer!"

Hey

If you want to watch more just YouTube raminpauls

You should watch more of the series.

It is a British comedy show, it is like th funniest thing in the world.

If you witre like tihs you can siltl raed it cna't you? That is because the brain read the word as a whole and not in parts. As lOng as the first and last letters the same and you haven't added any letters you can still read it

It from Monty pythons flying circus. Season one episode 8 if you want to watch the whole episode look up Monty python's flying circus s1e8

Praline Oh I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Shopkeeper Sorry, we're closing for lunch.

Praline Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Shopkeeper Oh yes, the, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it?

Praline I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Shopkeeper No, no, it's resting, look!

Praline Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Shopkeeper No no sir. it's not dead. It's resting!

Praline Resting?

Shopkeeper Yeah, remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage, innit?

Praline The plumage don't enter into it - it's stone dead.

Shopkeeper No, no - it's just resting!
Praline All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouts into cage) Hello Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, Polly Parrot!
Shopkeeper (jogging the cage) There, it moved!
Praline No, he didn't. That was you pushing the cage!
Shopkeeper I did not.
Praline Yes, you did! (takes parrot out of cage, shouts) Hello Polly, Polly (bangs it against the counter) Polly Parrot, wake up. Polly. (throws it in the air and lets it fall to the floor) Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Shopkeeper No, no. It's stunned.
Praline Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased. And when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
Shopkeeper It's probably pining for the fjords.
Praline Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?
Shopkeeper The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on it's back! Beautiful bird, lovely plumage!
Praline Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.
Shopkeeper Well of course it was nailed there. Otherwise it would muscle up to those bars and voom.
Praline Look matey (picks up the parrot) this parrot wouldn't voom if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
Shopkeeper It's not, it's pining!
Praline It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker.This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.

Hello. Heelloo. My name ist Celine. I live in a bright blue two story house in central Texas. Btw my house used to be purple. Well my and one of my brothers say it was purple the rest of my family say it was grey. I have two dogs and an African grey parrot. I have a triple bunk and I like to sew (using bernina, my old old sewing machine) knit, crochet, read, talk (to other people and myself), listening to the radio (couldn't live without it), and I can't draw for my life.

Japanese women usedto stain their teeth black and power their face white to be beautiful.

People once thought that raw tamatos were deadly because they were a member of the nightshade family but no one would actually eat one!