Alex’s Comments (group member since Nov 24, 2017)

Alex’s comments from the Navigating Indieworld Discussing All Things Indie group.

Dale wrote: "Alex wrote: "Thanks so much, Dale! It's really kind of you to help, and I agree that the second paragraph needed a tweak or two. I'll probably end up with an amalgam of the two suggestions, so I'm ..."

*G* Yes, I'm just coming to the conclusion that blurb writing is not like very short synopsis writing. Which is a valuable lesson learned in itself. Thanks!

Anya wrote: "Ahh, okay. Sorry, I don't really understand how self-publishing via Amazon works, but might it be possible to remove that one neglected volume, upload the two books separately, then have respective..."

Thanks Anya! Yes, I could easily take down the single volume, but I wrote the book as a single story - it's not meant to be packaged in two halves. I personally know that I would much rather read it as one volume than have to buy and switch between two.

It would be different if I'd planned it as two volumes in the first place, but I didn't - and as I say, it mucks with the pacing, not so much with the first volume, but definitely of the second, having it split.

If anything, I'm thinking maybe what I should do is to take down the two halves and just leave the one complete volume up. That would certainly cut down on confusion! Thanks :)

Matt wrote: OK, I have a SLIGHTLY better understanding of what's going on. :)

Thanks, Matt! Yes, I've got some Editorial Reviews which I can put on there, and an idea or two for books in the same kind of "Small town folk end up in the middle of a supernatural war" genre, so I shall just get over my phobia of blowing my own trumpet and add those. Then even if the book page still isn't great, it should be better than it is at present :)

Anya wrote: "Hello Alex, your creativity is overflowing! :) I read that you mentioned your story (or did you mean the drafting process?) seemed to be moving at a slower pace than you'd like, though. That lead m..."

*G* Thanks so much for your comments Anya :) But yes, I'm afraid the novel is already published. Samhain Publishing originally did split it into two parts, but I think that was more for economic than for story purposes. Since they went out of business, I've got the rights back and have self-published it myself.

I decided to put it out in one volume as being split into two left book one ending on a massive cliffhanger which readers didn't like, and it also played havoc with the pacing. But Amazon has treated the single volume as if it's an entirely different book, and therefore it has no reviews and is selling badly.

It was always meant to be one of those long door-stopper novels that the Fantasy genre is famous for, and it's about 140K words long, so there's room for all that plot :)

I have to admit to not knowing what the difference is between a protagonist and a main character, but I figure that if A Song of Ice and Fire, or The Lord of the Rings can have multiple protagonists, so can I!

Matt wrote: "I like Dale's and Faith's contributions. I'm still, however, going to nitpick.

"They're brave, they're keen, they laugh at fear, they don't speak Elvish and they bring their own sandwiches. They'r..."

Hi Matt! Thanks for having a look at this. I think your perplexity goes to show that the original blurb was really not very good at all. That's important data for me in itself - I was trying so hard to be clear about everything!

The trouble is that it's a very complicated plot, and there are three protagonists, one of whom was kidnapped by fairies in WWII and is still in Elfland (Geoff), one of whom was kidnapped for a short time but then sent back to earth in the 90s (Chris), and one of whom is kidnapped during the book, despite having employed Chris to prevent it (Ben).

Chris's paranormal defence agency are indeed a group of lovable eccentrics. One has a day job as a vicar, one is retired and a birdwatcher-cum-ghost photographer, and one is still in school and provides technical and website support. There is a slight Wallace and Gromit vibe to the agency which the line about sandwiches really captures.

Ben is kidnapped by the fairies half way through the book, which leads to him disappearing from our world - which leads to a murder investigation with Chris as the chief suspect.

Geoff is Chris's wartime sweetheart. Chris believed that he had died during the kidnapping incident (which involved the Lancaster bomber they were both in being shot down by elves.) Ben is his current love interest. So there is some considerable awkwardness when Ben gets to Elfland and finds that Geoff is still alive.

Meanwhile there are also two elvish Queens who are battling for control of Elfland, one of whom wants to re-conquer our world and one of whom doesn't.

This is why I had so much trouble with the blurb! There is so much going on, and so much of it needs knowledge of all the rest of it to make sense.

Thanks so much, Dale! It's really kind of you to help, and I agree that the second paragraph needed a tweak or two. I'll probably end up with an amalgam of the two suggestions, so I'm really grateful to you for taking the trouble. Thanks again!

Faith wrote: "Alex wrote: "How did you get..."

I suppose it's because I read a couple of novels a week and also listen to other people's ideas. I've started this year as a professional copy editor and am also t..."

The pedigree is impressive but the skills are more so :) Are you on twitter at all? That's where I tend to go for keeping in touch purposes.

I'm now debating whether to be cheeky and ask you to take a look at my blurb for Lioness of Cygnus Five, since I see you're sci-fi enthusiast. Would that be possible too? And is there anything I can do for you in return?

Faith wrote: "Alex wrote: "problem is the blurb. Can you do anything with this?"

It’s the same old story, isn’t it? There you are, trundling through the evening sky in your Lancaster bomber when reality’s torn ..."

LOL! That is actually superb. You're a genius! I would certainly buy it with a blurb like that. How do you get so good?

Thank you so much, and so fast too!

Hi Dale! Are you still doing this, because I have a book out which is REALLY slow moving and I'm wondering if the problem is the blurb. Can you do anything with this?

BLURB
Targeted by the Faerie Queen, Ben Chaudhry reluctantly turns to Chris Gatrell and his eccentric Paranormal Defence Agency for help. But it's hard to keep anything out of the snatching hands of determined elves. Chris himself was abducted from his own time - shot down in WWII, and shot forward seventy years in time, stranded far from his wartime sweetheart Geoff and his Lancaster bomber crew.

In this epic fantasy, Ben finds himself a major player in a game of elven politics that may lead to the invasion of Britain. Chris has to convince the police he didn't just murder Ben and hide the body. Determined not to lose another sweetheart to the elves’ treachery, he presses the ghosts of his old crew back into action for a rescue attempt.

But Geoff isn't dead at all - he's been on ice in Elfland all this time. Now he has a dragon and he’s not afraid to use it. If only he could be entirely sure which of the elf queens is the real enemy—the one whose army is poised to take back planet Earth for elf-kind.

In the cataclysmic battle to come, more than one lover—human and elf alike—may forced to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Thanks so much for the offer! You could be a lifesaver :)