Dale’s Comments (group member since Sep 15, 2017)

Dale’s comments from the Navigating Indieworld Discussing All Things Indie group.

Amy wrote: "I’m not sure there’s much chance of me doing that. Years ago I looked at a few websites. They have perplexing rules on even the simplest words you’re not allowed to use. I found them very intimidat..."

What sorts of websites were those? And what sorts of words? It may be more that the words they listed are overused, but there shouldn't be any words that can never be used. If I were to suggest one that probably shouldn't be used, it would be "suddenly," but even that may have an occasional valid use. ;-)

Nancy wrote: "I added a new blog post today after a very touching encounter with a monk in Eastern Myanmar.

Any constructive feedback on my writing is appreciated as I plan to write a second travel book after ..."

I enjoyed it. I didn't see much wrong. Some minor editing and tightening might be needed here and there. One small thing that stuck out: "This wasn't a complaint" is passive; "I wasn't complaining" (active) would be stronger. But overall, a good read!

Amy wrote: "That was around 1947. I wonder how many editors in big publishing houses would entertain an author writing like that now. I don’t know of course. Most of what I read these days is on audiobook for ..."

It depends on what your name is. If it's Ray Bradbury (or more likely, since Bradbury's dead now) Stephen King, they wouldn't think twice about it.

Otherwise, you probably have to, at a minimum, submit a story that takes their breath away. Then they'd probably allow it, too. ;-)

Alex wrote: "Dale wrote: "I was out of breath before I got half way through it. That' a long old sentence."

It is, but it's a beautiful sentence, too, and in context it does a beautiful thing: it takes in a whole "world" that the producer (mentioned at the outset) is truly seeing for the first time. I don't think a sentence that long can just go anywhere. It can only go where it is doing a job that can't be done by a shorter sequence of sentences--or at least can't be done as effectively.

Thanks for all the input, folks. My problem is twofold: not enough time and never sure what to actually write about to engage people.

I'm starting a new direction, though. I'm going to try to write posts on Howard County, the setting for my mystery series. (The first such post is at https://www.daleelehman.com/2017/10/w....) Along with that, I also plan to do occasional posts on what I'm reading (but I don't read very fast, so I can't fill up my blog with that!). And I'm going to try to do some features on the indie authors I've met on GR and whose works I have actually read. This will be a bit of a "promotional package" for those authors, including links to their blogs and social media as well as a description of their works.

I also have a mailing list (signup form is on the blog). I send out a newsletter with links to my recent posts and some "bonus" material not found on the blog. With luck I can make that a weekly mailing, although lately it's been very sporadic.

My new blog post. I'm starting a series on Howard County, the setting for my mystery series: https://www.daleelehman.com/2017/10/w...

Anya wrote: "Thank you for your generosity. I'll be sure to bombard you, flood you, catapult you with questions on editing, get ready. >:) And just to say, my dad is 60!"

You're quite welcome. I seem to be working with more and more people who are my children's age. At first it was a bit weird, but not it's just standard operating procedure. ;-)

Without context, but here is one of the sentences I had encountered just before this talk of length started:

"The producer listens and the old man listens in the drafty strutworks of the cathedral, with the moonlight blinding the eyes of the plaster gargoyles and the wind making the false stone mouths to whisper, and the sound of a thousand lands within a land below blowing and dusting and leaning in that wind, a thousand yellow minarets and milk-white towers and green avenues yet untouched among the hundred new ruins, and all of it murmuring its wires and lathings like a great steel-and-wooden harp touched in the night, and the wind bringing that self-made sound high up here in the sky to these two men who stand listening and apart." (from "The Meadow" by Ray Bradbury)

Theodore wrote: "Dale wrote: "Check me if I'm wrong, Dale, but based on the recent May-June Editors' Choice Awards, the stories most likely to win (if fact, I get the feeling it's almost an unwritten rule of the competition for those seeking this award) are those that address/incorporate directly "

I just looked at the announcement of the winners this morning, and they do in fact directly say that stories should relate to the photographs. I only had two in contention during the time period covered. I'm not sure why neither of them got even an honorable mention. ;-)

Theodore wrote: "Your story this week, which is very good...
I'm about two-thirds through my second anthology of flash fiction at this point (the first anthology is scheduled for release on February 5, 2018; not sure when I will release the second). But when I reach my target number of stories, I will take a break from writing in this genre of literature. "

Thank you, and best of luck to you with your anthologies. I haven't written enough of them to collect them. If I did, I'd probably edit them a bit and break the 250 word limit if necessary to make better stories. As it is, I'm thinking of adding my Bernie and Melody stories to the end of the novel as bonus material. But that's a ways off still.

I half feel like posting the first two scenes, just so's people can see the characters. They're a fun couple. But I probably should hold them hostage a bit longer. ;-)

Anya wrote: "Dale - Thank you for your affirmation! Since seeing some of your review posts and your Book Blurb Clinic, I've been hoping for a chance to speak with you and to get your advice on editing. Thank yo..."

You're quite welcome! Feel free to ask questions on editing and I'll offer my opinions and experience. And yeah, I'm that old. I turn 60 in about a year, so I guess I have to admit to being almost middle-aged now. ;-)

Amy wrote: "I agree, I love it. Various editors a few years ago told me not to write long sentences. They never told me how many words to use! I think they were talking about comma splices. So if it was me, I'..."

I'm currently re-reading Ray Bradbury's short story collection A Sound of Thunder (originally published as The Golden Apples of the Sun but "rebranded" thanks to a recent motion picture). Bradbury can write some pretty long sentences sometimes. So who you gonna listen to, those editors or one of the great writers of recent times? ;-)

The issue is more clarity. Longer sentences can easily become confusing. But if you use an occasional long sentence it won't hurt, so long as it's a clear long sentence.

Theodore wrote: "Dale wrote: "I might mention that I've reaped a major side-benefit from doing these stories. I introduced a husband-wife team of professional thieves named Bernard and Melody in one of my early fla..."

I haven't had a chance to look quite that carefully, but that's probably the case. I always write my stories to the photo rather than to the keyword, mostly because the photos are what give me my ideas more than the keywords. I have a suspicion that the editors also like certain kinds of themes more than others, but I'm also a bit surprised that the quality of the writing doesn't always seem to hold as much weight with them as I think it should.

Thank you! Obviously I loved them, but more importantly, they balance out a couple of less inspiring comments I've received. I've been concerned about a couple of comments about "True Death" being confusing because of POV changes and flashbacks. This reader and a few others seem to think all that worked well.

Brittney wrote: "Carole has sent out close to 2,000 flyers that I created to librarians and institutions on the various mailing lists that she's had access to. I am making a new flyer. It's First Come, First Serve ..."

I've just sent my book info to you. Thanks!

Julia wrote: "Thank you, Carole, Dale, Amy and Erica for casting your vote in the Author Shout-Cover Wars for my supernatural romance IF BIRDS FLY LOW.
To tell you the truth, I was stunned and had tears in my ey..."

You're quite welcome!

A reader in England picked up my Howard County mysteries from BookGobbler.com and posted a pair of great reviews on her blog and BG. Here are the links to the reviews on her site:

http://www.christianbookaholic.com/20...

http://www.christianbookaholic.com/20...

These are an author's dream come true!

I might mention that I've reaped a major side-benefit from doing these stories. I introduced a husband-wife team of professional thieves named Bernard and Melody in one of my early flash fiction stories, basically as an elaborate joke. Not long after, I was looking at another of their prompts and thought, "That's a Bernard and Melody story," so I wrote another elaborate joke, and then a third one after that. At some point I started liking the characters so much that I wanted to put them into a novel. I now have a couple of chapters written about them. They're an amazingly fun couple to write about (and I hope to read about). Figuring out how to give them enough depth for a novel took some doing, but once I had that, everything else started falling into place. For now I'll just give you the title (Weasel Words) and the epigraph necessary to explain it:

"Weasel words: Words or statements that are intentionally ambiguous or misleading. Think advertising. Or politics. Or the story that follows…"

;-)

Alyssa wrote: "What I never can understand, however, is how some people never even bother to vote for themselves. There always are a few (in fact, some weeks, ..."

Yeah, that is kinda odd. Maybe they don't feel comfortable doing so, or maybe they actually read the stories and vote for the ones they feel are best? Don't know.

Meanwhile, others have figured out how to vote multiple times without getting caught. Which is just an observation, not a criticism. I've benefited from that myself. One of my supporters once mentioned to me that she had voted for me three or four times, for example...

Being the father of 5 children and grandfather of 5 grandchildren, I love it! It just needs a little tightening is all. I might suggest giving the pediatrician's name in one of these sentences, too. So...

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The pediatrician cast a wary glance at the toddler, who was humming nursery rhymes while dousing her clinic with water spewed from one of those blasted practice wands provided for the amusement of little patients during checkups. Dr. What-Her-Name knew the wand was just a beginner's instrument, practically a toy, incapable of summoning serious spells. Tiny Tina [or whatever her name is] couldn't conjure a real flood with it. But neither would medical dossiers and expensive electronics fare well in this drizzle. She would have to speak with the nurses--again-- about confining junior wizardry to the waiting room.
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Something like that, maybe.