Ruby’s Comments (group member since Jun 20, 2016)

Ruby’s comments from the Write, Wrote, Written II group.

Once Upon A Time

(Oh and I'm talking about OUAT not that)

Hey guys -


JUST FINISHED SEASON 2 YAYYY

CHAPTER 2: June 8th, 2013

"Wonderful day, isn't it?" he said, grinning widely as he climbed into the old jeep. I scooted in the back seat, wrinkling my nose at the moldy seat-covers. Dad had found this at an old garage sale when we first moved, and bought it, declaring he would get it working again. So far he's been a bit successful, it starts with only one or two turns of the keys now, but I still can't get used to the smell. We didn't have a hunk of garbage for our car back in Florida.

"Mmm." I replied, but said no more. Dad started the engine - it took a bit of coaxing - and I latched my seat belt. He backed out of the driveway and bumped down the small road.

"So, Erin," Dad cheerfully began again.

I didn't reply. I just sat there quietly, staring out of the window and at the passing trees.

"Are you excited to make new friends here in Berlin? I bet you'll meet loads of girls your age! Hey! Why don't we go and sign you up for a camp, over at that cool little place we saw! Remember that? I bet you-" I could tell he was getting excited, so I quickly interrupted before it could get too far.

"Uh, no thanks, Dad. I don't really feel like camp this summer."

He fell silent. I could tell he, too, was thinking of Mom now. I furiously wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, and glared out the window determinedly. I was not going to cry. No way.

"Well..." he said after a while. I didn't answer. I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to notice. I was trying really hard not to think of Mom, but of course if you try not to think of something, you can't think of anything but that. My thoughts wandered over the memories of Florida, and everything we had left behind. My best friend, Caroline, our great car, the cute little house the three of us had shared, school, the beautiful beach and the ugly, smoky cities.

I remembered the last day I had seen Caroline, the two of us had pinky-sworn over a tablespoon of cow blood (for lack of human blood, both of us hated the sight of it) never to forget the other. Typical routine, I know. But Caroline was special. She was the best friend I had ever known, we had done everything together. We'd studied together, laughed together, we hid together - when we were little we played non-stop together. In fact, we'd known each other since first grade, we were the best of friends - and then Dad and I just HAD to up and move away. Of course, there were times when I absolutely hated Cara, either I lost an argument, or she was mean to me, or we disagreed completely on something, but we always came back to each other and made up, eventually and just like that, we were besties again. That's how much we trusted and loved each other. We were like that perfect best-friend duo you see on tv shows or movies.

And then Mom.

Afterwards, Dad had decided to move away from Florida - too many memories I guess. I suppose I understand his intentions, but I sure wish Cara was here. She would understand. She would make me laugh, turn everything upside down until she found the right joke or sentence to make me smile. She would joke about Mrs. Edderson and her fat chin, or how much Dad beamed whenever she came into the room. Yes, Cara would understand.

"Oh, here we are!"

With a start, I was pulled back to reality. I sat up and looked around out the window. We were pulling into a familiar, falling apart, old building. The laundry place. I wrinkled my nose as Dad parked and I stepped out of the car. The car smelled bad, but the laundry place smelled even worse. Nothing could compare to it. It was like a mixture of dirty socks and moldy cheese. I hated cheese.

Dad grabbed the basket from the trunk, locked the car, and led the way up to the cloudy, glass front door. There were other people outside, but none of them looked exactly nice. A few dodgy-looking men were hanging around the corner, and an old, wispy haired woman stood with her laundry basket on one hip, checking her smartphone with her free arm.

Unconsciously, Dad put his arm around around my shoulders. I glared at him, shrugged his arm off, and stalked through the grimy glass doors. I ignored everything and everyone around me, and concentrated solely on getting to the yellow benches at the far end of the building. Finally, the dirty, peeling seats came into view and I sat down in my usual one, farthest from the other people sitting next to me. Luckily, the seat to my left was empty, so there was some distance between us.

I never took any part in the laundry errand, I hated dirty clothes. I know, clean freak. Blood, dirty clothes, and discarded hair. I hate discarded hair. I shivered at the thought and slouched lower in the seat. Plugging my ear buds into my iPod, I glanced around. There was Dad, shoving quarters into a washing machine a ways off, looking slightly less beamy, and a little girl clinging tightly on who I supposed was her mother, at the next dryer.

I stared at the little girl. Once upon a time that was me, I thought bitterly. She looks about six or seven. I remember when I was six, Mom would take me to get gumballs from the drugstore. There was a little gumball machine, and sometimes it got stuck. Tears came to my eyes as I remembered when Mom would shake the machine around, banging on it and hitting it until either the gumball fell out, or the store manager hurried over to see what all the commotion was about.

I shook my head and pulled my eyes from the little girl. I looked around at all the washers and dryers, dirty clothes piles and discarded socks lying about. I pushed the ear buds into my ears and watched the nearest dryer spin, its contents going round and round, faster, faster -

"Er - is anybody sitting here?"

With a start, I looked up, to see a boy looking awkwardly down at me, a worn-down, blue backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Oh, uh, no." I said, and scooted over a bit more so my leg was pressed up against the cold, metal bar of the side of the bench. The boy sat down, and shoved his backpack under the bench. We sat there in silence for a while, me just sitting there, staring at the dryer, until he spoke.

"Uh, hello."

I glanced over at him. He had his hand stuck out as if to shake mine, and his other hand was nervously pushing his glasses higher up his nose. I awkwardly took his hand and shook it. Hm. Interesting. He used his left hand, just like me.

"You're a leftie?" I asked, after another moment of silence.

"Yeah."

He sneezed loudly.

I pretended not to notice as red slowly began creeping up his face.

"Um, e-excuse me." He stammered, and wiped his nose with a paper napkin from his backpack. I caught a glimpse of several large textbooks from within the bag, and I sniffed. Wow. This guy was studying schoolwork, and it was summer already. Sheesh. Nerd.

I scooted farther away from him. I didn't want to catch a cold from a nerd.

"Er - um, so where do you go to school?" he asked quickly. I looked over at him and squinted my eyes.

"It's summer."

"Um, yeah, well, um, I meant where did you go to school last year..." He stuttered, pushing his glasses up his nose again.

"I was in Florida." My answers were short and to the point. I didn't want to talk to this guy, and I thought I was making it very clear.

"Oh! So you just moved? What part of Florida? You're new to Berlin?"

Apparently not clear enough.

I sighed and answered, "Yeah, just moved. Northern part. Yeah, I'm new."

"Cool! Where are you going to go to school? I went to Cornith's Public School last year, and I'm going back next year!"

He was getting excited now. He wasn't stuttering anymore, and he was asking more questions. Nerd.

"I dunno."

"Oh." He was momentarily silenced, then he started up again, "Well, you should go to Cornith's, it's great! Lots of new kids go there! Are you going to any camps this summer? I'm not. Camps are for little kids, if you ask me."

I looked at him. Nerd was saying camps were for little kids? "Yeah, camps are for little kids." Was all I said, but under my breath, "and nerds."

"What? What did you say? Sorry, I didn't catch that, not so great hearing, ya know -" Suddenly, I saw Dad waving in my direction. I hadn't been so relieved to see him do that since before Mom died. I shot up, mumbled something about seeing my dad, and ran off to where he was standing, the empty basket on his hip.

"Hi, Erin! All done! We'll come back in a bit to pick them up. Who was that nice young man you were sitting with?"

I shrugged and said, "I dunno. Some weirdo. Don't even know his name. C'mon, let's go."

I hurriedly led the way out the front doors and hopped into the jeep, keeping my head low and trying not to look back at the boy behind me.

"Erin! Erin, slow down, kiddo! You're making me run! I'm not that young, ya know!" Dad chuckled as he climbed into the driver's seat. "You'd think you'd found someone from Florida in there!"

I didn't say anything, just slouched lower in my seat. Dad started the ignition, and drove out of the parking lot, carefully avoiding piles of trash strewn everywhere.

The rest of the day went as a blur, and I hardly remembered any of it. Errands, errands - and more errands, until we finally pulled back into the apartment building parking lot, and I launched myself out of the car and straight up to my room. I didn't wait for Dad, not even to remove my shoes, I just beelined for the stairs. Only when I was safely in my room, did I finally relax and let myself fall with a thump onto my bed. I don't know how long I was lying there, just staring up at the ceiling, but later, much later, I woke up to see that sunlight was no longer streaming through my open window, and that instead night was descending.

I stood, yawned, and stretched. My back ached from the odd position I was in, and with one hand on my back, I stumbled to the window and shut it. Closing the curtains, I yawned again and looked around. Suddenly, a noise like thunder erupted from all around me and I jumped. Looking wildly around, it took me a moment to realize the thunder had, in fact come from my angry stomach, and that I had neglected to eat supper when I got home.

Glad no one was present to witness my embarrassment, I trudged out the door and down the carpeted hallway, towards the kitchen.

All the lights were off, and it took me a while to find the light switch, I was bumping into things and stubbed my toe multiple times. Holding back a yelp, I finally found what I was looking for and flicked the switch. Immediately, light flooded the room, and I sighed with relief.

Now fully awake (thanks to the sharp chairs and their accursed way of getting in the way of your foot), I headed straight for the cupboards and pulled out a box of cereal. Cereal for supper, apparently. After pouring way too much milk into the bowl along with my frosted flakes, I sat down at the table, spoon in hand. I began my meal in silence, listening to the ticking clock in the hallway - which read 11:30 - and thinking.

Created!

Shine - Ikr!!

Chloe - XD thanks! And ooh sounds cooooooll and sad... Post it! XD

Thanks! Well, I've had all these for so long, I WANT to just choose one and stick with it... But we'll see how long that lasts XD

You have one!

Yes!

Then I can see it!

XD oh that was literally me typing the first thing that popped in my head

*applauds*

Nice! You really pulled me into the story, and I could understand what was happening. It's interesting you chose to use present tense, I look forward to reading more!

Really? Aw, thanks! XD I have chapter 2 to be posted later... mwahaha

CHAPTER 1: June 8th, 2013


"Erin, c'mon, let's get the ball moving! Time to get up!"

I groaned and buried my face in the pillow. The bed was so comfortable and warm. Suddenly, I felt my blanket fly off me and I sat straight up, "Hey!" I squinted through the bright sunlight and saw Dad walking off, a familiar purple blanket in his arms, calling over his shoulder, "Laundry day!"

Grumbling, I slipped out of bed and walked over to my mirror. I grimaced at my reflection. Blond hair was flying everywhere, and I had a huge red mark on the side of my face where it was pressing into the pillow.

I rubbed my face as I stumbled over to my dresser. I pulled out a green t-shirt and a pair of jeans and shuffled into the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later I walked out of the door and made my way downstairs, dressed, hair pulled back, and the red mark nearly gone.

"Hiya, Erin!" Dad greeted me at the kitchen. "You're up bright and early!"

I just shrugged and sat down at the table, yawning.

"Well, today is a big day! Our third laundry day in Berlin!" He said as he scrubbed some dishes, a towel slung over his shoulder.

"Berlin, Wisconsin, Dad. Not Germany." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. "And so what? All it is is bringing dirty clothes to the laundromat until we get our own washer and dryer."

Dad seemed to ignore my comment as he began humming loudly. "Ooh! Do you want to come with me, Erin? They might have lollipops again!"

I groaned, and was about to protest when there came a knock at the door.

"Get it, would you, Erin? I've got my hands full." Dad called over his shoulder, and began humming again as I got up.

"Sure, Dad," I sighed. I stood and ducked into the hallway, dodging teetering stacks of boxes and random items strewn everywhere. When I reached the door, I straightened my crumpled shirt and tightened my ponytail before swinging open the door.

"Oh! Hello there, Erin! How are you?" Suddenly, I was enveloped in a huge hug, and it wasn't until I was released when I could see the hard hugger.

Mrs. Edderson, the next door neighbor, was standing, beaming before me, clutching a huge glass pan in one fat hand and squeezing my shoulder with the other.

"Er, hello, Mrs. Edderson, w-would you like to come in?" I asked awkwardly.

The large woman beamed even more and stepped into the cramped hallway. "Thank you dear."

"Er, come on - I'll show you to the kitchen." I darted out of her way and led the way through the maze of boxes to the kitchen. I turned around and just caught the tail-end of a fleeting grimace cross her face as she surveyed the messy scene. As soon as she saw me looking, however, the huge grin was back.

"Oh! Hello, Darmina! Come, come, sit down!" Dad was beaming, too, as he gestured to the only empty chair for her to sit.

I scowled, but didn't complain, and stayed standing in the doorway.

"You'll have to excuse the mess, Darmina, as you can see we haven't quite finished unpacking." Dad said apologetically as he pulled the chair out for her to sit.

"Oh, no, nevermind, Henry - I was just popping in to deliver these, I really don't have time to sit down, sorry."

I hated how Mrs. Edderson used Dad's first name. It just didn't sound right, coming from her tiny lips.

She handed Dad the pan, and he took it gladly. "Oh, Darmina! You shouldn't have! Brownies? For us?"

I rolled my eyes and stepped out of the room. It was too much. I thought I was going to puke.

I went up to my bedroom, and sat down on the bed. For a moment I just sat there, breathing deeply, then I tugged out the secret box from under my bed, and, crouching on the floor, opened it.

Inside was a number of random objects, but I was just looking for one. I shifted through old drawings, worn down erasers, markers, friendship bracelets, until finally I found it. I drew it out and sat back down on my bed, staring longingly at the small, framed photo in my hands.

It was an old picture of a small girl, only about six or seven, with an older woman sitting beside her. The woman had one arm wrapped around the girl, and her other arm held out, holding one of those small, hand fizzlers you get on The Fourth of July. The blond haired child beside her was doing the same, and both her grinning and laughing silently, the moment forever frozen in that old photograph.

I bit my lip and passed the back of my hand quickly over my eyes. They came away wet. "Mom." I whispered, and let myself fall back on my bed, clutching the frame tightly to my chest.

I just lay there, crying silent tears. I don't know how long, but when Dad finally called up the hallway, and I heard the door slam, the tears were well dry and my eyes were only slightly red.

Quickly, I wiped my nose and stuffed the picture back under my bed, and went to join Dad in the kitchen.

I found him munching on a brownie at the counter, reading a little sticky note on the counter.

"What's that, Dad?" I asked, ducking my head so he couldn't see my red eyes.

"Hmm? Oh, just some errands to do today - oh, these are some good brownies, want one?" He held out the pan.

I shook my head and sat down at the table. "No thanks, Dad."

He shrugged and replaced the pan on the counter. "Well, I have a few things to do today, would you like to come? Or would you rather stay and sort these boxes out?"

"Uh, no, Dad, I guess I'll come," I said, eyeing the piles of boxes in the hallway. There were too many to count, and looked horrible; Dad had a reputation for messy packing.

"Excellent!" he beamed. "Great! Well, why don't you go and get your shoes on, we leave in five minutes!" He finished his brownie and, tugging the plastic wrap back over the pan of brownies, he stood and put them in the fridge.

I slipped out of the kitchen and into the hallway. Next to the front door was a rack for shoes- Dad got it for $5.99 at Walmart- with four pairs of shoes on it. I pulled my favorite boots off it and shoved my feet in them. Upon lacing them up, I found they were getting a bit small. I groaned, and tried to wiggle my toes around. They were stuck up against the tip of the boots, and my heels were pushed as far back as they would go.

In defeat, I stood and walked a few steps. Not too bad. I'd have to get new ones soon, though. I chose a black sweater from the coat rack and tugged it on.

"I'll be outside, Dad!" I called. Without waiting for an answer, I stepped out the door, and trotted down the fire escape. Upon reaching the front lawn, I turned around to squint up at the apartment building. The sun shone through the few trees that lined the sides of the building, so it was difficult to see, but I could just make out the outline of Dad in the second window to the left.

We were on the second floor, and if we wanted to get down to the first floor, we would have to use the stairs inside the building on the other side of the floor. Dad and I found that the fire escape led right up to our tiny porch in the front, so we just used that.

I turned back around and leaned against the rail on the fire escape, looking around at the yellowing grass and shriveling shrubs. "Is anybody even being paid to do this? What a horrible job!" I thought, picking a dry leaf from a nearby bush.

A door slammed, and I looked up. "Alright, Erin! Let's go!" Dad said, a little too energetically as he galloped down the rusty fire escape. I squeezed the leaf in my fist, and then let its remaining powder fall to the ground as I followed Dad across the lawn.

(I know there's a lot of editing to do, this was like two years ago, so my writing skill has gotten better since then XD)

This I actually wrote a lot more than usual on - members from the beginnings of the original Write, Wrote, Written would remember this, and I'm seriously considering trying to finish this...

What do you guys think?



Sometimes I feel like no one understands me. Well, no one except my two best friends, Andy and Katie. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start my story in the year 2013, when I first moved. Wow, three years ago. I suppose I was only thirteen then.

Yeah, thirteen years old and not exactly the happiest bug in the garden. I'm sixteen now, and it still sometimes feels the way it did back then - I love living with Dad and Kim, don't get me wrong! But back when we first moved... Thirteen years old, and miserable, living in a tiny apartment with just Dad, and Mom's death still vivid in my photographic memory. Those months were horrible, that is, until I met Andy and Katie, and they turned my life around.

XD thanks, and there is, but I reread it and it needs to be rewritten...

Mmkay, yeah, I can see that...

I really do want to continue this, and maybe this piece will be the one I do, but I just have so many unfinished beginnings...

Thanks! And Ikr?!

Oh wait is it titled 2085?

Hmm I don't know it isn't showing up to me or i'd have gotten a notification - try reposting it?

Thanks!