Ian’s Comments (group member since May 25, 2015)

Ian’s comments from the Write, Wrote, Written group.

Glad I might be of help!
You seem to have the best attitude about feedback.
I hope you get a lot of pleasure from your writing.

Hi!

I've read through your material with interest, and I'd like to offer some thoughts that might be helpful.

First off, and very importantly, this READS INTERESTING. I started reading and I was immediately wondering: What's happening? Why? Who is this person? That's a natural skill you have which is very valuable.

On the downside, I reckon you need to look into punctuation and how stories are laid out. This is just a matter of learning and practice - honing the skill you obviously possess. Here's some examples:

[1] An easy way to know if full stop and commas are needed are by reading the work aloud. I was always told, if you need to take a full breath, it's a full stop; a half-breath is a comma. Also, each sentence is a chunk of information; a paragraph is a collection of sentences about the same thing. The better you break up the wordage, the easier (and perhaps more dramatic) it is to read. What do you think of this version of your start?

I was in a hurry.

I don't know where I was going or what was happening, but there was something I had to do and I had to do it fast. I was running out of time. Everything around me seemed hazy, not fully clear. I couldn't make out where I was or if there was someone with me.

Suddenly I found myself...

[2] Look at rules for conversation. Most often every person's speech is a separate paragraph. Look at how capitals and commas are used in speech too.

[3] Read as much as you can. You will pick up lots of things naturally, such as "im" should be I'm (it's short for I am). Basically, the more you read and write, the better you will polish your craft.

Most of all, please don't be discouraged. You clearly have talent and have stories to tell, so do keep writing.

I have found that Stephen King is a really good author for looking at fine storytelling and good writing. He also wrote a non-fiction book called On Writing, which contains loads of good material for people interested in writing.

Best wishes and good luck - Ian

Not heard of wattpad - I'll have to give it a look, sounds interesting.