Amy’s Comments (group member since May 06, 2015)

Amy’s comments from the Write, Wrote, Written group.

A little poem I put together just now. Let it raw, since I fell pretty bad right now

The greatest pain

More and more lately I have been thinking
What is the greatest pain in the world?
When you feel like you are sinking
And there is no way of getting up.
When your thoughts are dark as the night
And all you are thinking about is ending your life.
When you are feeling numb and empty
All of you is dying on the inside.
When you stop caring what happens to you
And all you can see is dark.
When you stop looking when crossing the street
And you feel it’s the best when you disappear.
When all you can think about while in bed
Is what you ask in your final request?
When you know how you’ll take your life
Should the hole inside you becoming too wide?
So what is it that causes such pain
That makes you want to go away?
It comes from our shattered hearts
After we’ve been hurt so much.
There is none pain bigger in this world
Than a disappointed heart.

A little place where I'll post some poems from time to time.

Julane wrote: "I've been looking, and I think maybe something in Maine? It has many forests and woods, in addition to small cities. So sorry I couldn't find any specific stuff, I'll tell you if I do!"

That'd be great! Thank you so much!

Am starting a new story from a cabin deep in the woods, but I'd like a very small town to mention in the story. Something so it doesn't seem like the cabin and woods are nowhere near anything. A really small town with many deep wods around. Idea, please?

Could use some chocolate. Problem is I don't have any! It's sad I know :(

Okay, I write only in English. Problém is I'm not english, nor do I live in any English speaking contry. So it can happen I may need some help. Hope that's okay

How weird can ghosts be? Umm.........Candy!

Sora wrote: "No worries. I regularly ruin shit too. ^-^ I just really miss you guys but it's my own fault we don't talk."

It'S my fault as well. And I miss you too

ALiStAiR (Prostitute of Feelings) wrote: "Great story Amy :D"

Thank you ^-^

Oh Sora. I feel sorry too. And it's not like I'm not guilty too. Got a big mouth and seemingly a talent to fuck up things

I'm really sorry to hear that, I really am

Thank you

How about you?

Sora wrote: "So how's it been?"

Not good. Am a lot depressed

Sora wrote: "Hi Amy...nice seeing your writing again. Keep up the nice work."

Wow, thank you!

Had to do something, it's helping

Epilogue

They had to carry Jane away, otherwise she'd stay behind. But that was not an option. They lined the bodies of their fallen friends by the wall and then all went through the hole.
There were about twenty-six people to begin with and now there were only seventeen left. They lost nine people in the fight and they all felt heavy-hearted. But nothing could match the grief of Jane. She was looking down at the floor and talking to no one. People tried to make her feel better, but to no avail.
In the end the rest of them all got out. They met with a woman in white, and for a very strange reason Beth. Beth acted very strangely and was saying something about being controlled. Then out of nowhere threw a knife and hit Rachel in the chest. She bled to death.
But Jane took little notice of this. She was in her own world now. Things were happening around her, but she was in a sort of trance. She had to be pulled behind to actually do something.
All her thoughts were with Anna and were thinking of the day they first met. Anna came to her and sat next to her in silence, while in the meant time Jane cried. Anna then put an arm around her shoulders, when Jane had no more tears they talked a little. Anna explaining how it worked in the glade and that they all were the same. They came up in the box, freak out, and after that got a tour by Harriet.
Jane was very glad for Anna's kindness and took to her very quickly. It's been like they knew each other already and she just came back. Came back and helped her.
She fell in love with her shortly after. Anna would never say it but she had a shining personality once you took the time to actually get to know her. But strangely not many did.
Then at first she felt threatened by Sonia, but learned quickly they were like sisters, nothing else going on there. If only she told her earlier.
If only she could have helped her. But she was gone now, gone forever and all she could think about was her. Of her beautiful hair, her eyes, her voice, about how she always treated her nicely. She was a gentle and loving soul. And it was gone.
Jane was devastated and she could only think of her, but she made up her mind. She would fight for Anna. She'd fight and stay alive. She was sure that's what she would want.
And also she'd spread her story. She'd tell anyone she'd meet, like now.

She died, but in my heart she will live on. Her memory will live on.

Chapter five

The morning came and before anyone could go out Aris came storming back, saying something about how he cracked the code. No one of course understood what he was talking about.
The next thing Anna saw was Harriet, Sonia, and Rachel running after Aris, whose face was flushed with excitement. She watched them leave, her heart beating hard in her chest. What was happening? Oh how she wanted to go with them! Not to be able to do anything drove her insane.
Jane saw it in her eyes and hugged her close to herself. "It'll be okay. You'll see." She whispered in her ear.
Anna's eyes filled with tears. She was on the edge again, but she willed herself not to go there and hugged her back.

No one in the Homestead made their way out. People's spirits were crushed. How could they survive like this? There was nothing better to crush their morale than the Grievers taking them one by one. And all they could do about it was crouch inside?
Anna really hoped they would come up with something. Not just for her sanity's sake but for them all, most of all Jane. No matter what happened she wanted to protect her. She never could take it, if anything happened to her.
She kissed her forehead and said to her, "We will get through it. We have to!"

An hour or so later the four of them came back and called everyone to them. So they all walked out since there was no way they could all fit in one room.
Harriet stepped in front of them. "After all this time in the Glade and searching the maze we may have finally found a way out." She announced. "It's not hundred percent, but we," she motioned to the four of them, "believe it is the only way. Aris will explain the rest." She motioned for him to step forward.
"After I have awoken from my coma I had this thing on my mind," he began. "I thought it must be a memory, 'The maze is a code,'" he motioned with his hands, "and last night after talking to Sonia I had an enlightening idea. The runners kept drawing maps and comparing them, but only to their own sections. What they had to do was to compare them to each other." He motioned again. "That is all they had to do, and what I had done. I compared maps of the same day and put them carefully together to have a whole picture of the maze. And I found what I believed about the maze, that it is a code," he lectured. "And it really is! Each day spells a letter." He pointed out, and as Anna looked around the faces all around mimicked her own, which was pure astonishment. And he continued, "And when I went through several it spelled out whole words. And they repeated themselves. It's a code and where there is a code there is a place to put it in. There must be some sort of computer or something to put it in and open a door, which we believe is situated inside the hole where the Grievers go, as to guard it and to make it as difficult for us as possible." He finished, slightly out of breath.
People around just stood there staring at them. It all went too fast. They probably expected them to cheer, agree, or just do something, but people were shocked into silence. So, they maybe could get out but would have to fight Grievers?
At that moment Beth stepped out and came in front of everybody. "You know what they are trying to do, right?" She asked the group. "They came up with a sheer insanity of a theory and want us to risk our lives for it. Risk our lives for a maybe." She gave them a disgusted look.
"Yes, but at least we came up with something!" Aris fired back.
Beth pretended to be shocked. "And am I supposed to throw myself on my knees before you now?" She countered. "We are only going to get killed!" She turned back to the group, emphasizing the last word.
At this Sonia stepped forward as well. "We are going to get killed anyway! One by one! Or did you forget how the Grievers were coming the last couple nights!" She jabbed a finger at her chest. "We can go and at least do something rather than sit here huddled inside like animals!" Her voice was rising in anger.
"Oh yea, beautiful! We don't even know how many there really are! There could be as many as we are here, or more! How do you want to fight them off?" Beth was now yelling too.
"With all we have! Spears, knifes and machetes, of course!"
"You want us to go against a Griever with a knife?" She asked in disbelief.
"Why not?" She asked back. "Anna did kill one with only a knife." She said motioning towards her.
Beth threw her arms up in mockery. "Don't drag the menty into it!" She said jabbing a finger now at her.
"Hey!" Jane fired at Beth. "Don't call her a menty! She is not mental!"
"Oh really?" she asked rising her eye brows. "So who tried to kill herself here?"
Jane suddenly darted forward and punched Beth square in the nose. She fell backwards with a yelp, holding a hand to her face. Anna quickly rushed up to her to catch her before she could attack again.
Beth slowly got up still holding her face, staring at Jane with hate in her eyes. Jane didn't flinch and stared back.
Harriet quickly stepped forward and between them, hands in the air in front of her. "Whoa! Stop it!" She said and turned to the group. "We can argue the whole day and it will lead nowhere. What we need is to decide." She reasoned with them. "We can either, try our luck in the maze and fight our way out, or we can sit here and wait what will happen." She looked them over. "The choice is yours." She motioned with her hands. "We are going to try."
No one said anything, or even moved for some time. Then whispered discussions broke out. Anna only looked at Jane, who nodded and together they walked over to Sonia, Harriet, Rachel and Aris, the four of them giving them a tight smile.
The Gladers watched them go and as if that was a signal several more walked over and slowly but surely most walked over to them, until a small group remained back. Harriet waited for a moment longer, and then nodded, "It is your decision. We won't make you do anything."
With that she turned to the new group and started giving out orders. We had to get spears, knifes, machetes and some food and water for the way.
When all was packed and everyone was armed the group made their way into the maze, their way led by Sonia.

The group had to make its way slower since many weren't used to running so much, not to mention were in the maze for the first time. So to keep together and not lose anyone they had to go slower. But they still made a good time and after a couple of breaks they arrived at the cliff, and as they neared they saw Grievers lining the path facing theirs. The group slowed down and eventually stopped, Sonia going forward to have a look at the turn left directly to the cliff. There were also many Grievers, all guarding the way, which only hardened Sonia's belief and she went to report it.
"So they are all guarding it?" Someone in the group asked.
"Yes, they do, which only convinces me even more that that is the way out." She told them.
"And so what do we do?" Someone else asked.
"Well, we have to make way for Aris and Rachel for them to get into the hole, and then buy them time to look for the computer and punch the code in." She said shrugging.
People around Anna seemed to get mentally prepared for the clash. But how do you prepare when facing such monsters? Nevertheless she attempted to get herself in the zone. She looked over at Jane who looked back and squeezed her hand.
Anna then nodded at Sonia, "Ready."
Sonia nodded back, "Okay," then looked at Aris and Rachel. "You two stay between us." She paused and then yelled, "LETS GO!" And with that ran around the turn and straight for the Grievers.
The others followed suit. Each took one. Sometimes they could fight two against one. The grievers too got going and went for them, and the ones who been at the intersection closed the gap behind them. So, if it should happen they'd have to retreat they couldn't.
The Gladers tried to push them aside to make a path. And after some fighting they finally did and Aris and Rachel ran through as fast as they could. Coming to the edge of the cliff they took one last glance back, Sonia yelling at them to go. With the ivy still in place in the opening of the hole to help them aim they jumped inside.
In the meantime the Gladers were fighting the Grievers off like lions. They managed to get down several of them. Sadly so did the beasts. A couple of them took a girl to Anna's left, but she couldn't say who it was, the Grievers were on top of the poor being and all she could see was a big, red stain, nothing about her recognizable anymore.
Anna finished with hers. She stabbed it with her spear and then cut it open. Then she went help Jane, who was struggling. The beast was getting the best of her. But with Anna's help they managed to overwhelm it, stabbing the spears into its head. Or what seemed like it.
Anna then looked around. Their fight seemed to be going well, they seemed to be winning. When suddenly Anna heard a deep cry above them and saw a big, fat Griver above their heads just as it let go, falling down towards Jane. Anna reacted with instinct and pushed her away. She saved Jane, but got caught in the fall herself, however. The beast landed on top of her, its bars piercing her leg in several places.
Anna let out a high scream of agony and from the corner of her eyes she saw Grievers coming her way. And they were close.
Jane quickly got to her feet and went to help Anna, but there were too many of them for her to take. Some other Gladers came to help. Harriet did, Marie and one more. But the grievers were on her already and Anna started screaming at the top of her lungs as they tore on her.
The small group fought bravely but they could not fight them off, they were too many. Anna gathered her wits for the last time and shouted at them, "Go! Just GO! LEAVE ME!" and then got lost under a Griever.
Jane wanted to attack again, tears in her eyes, but the others took hold of her and pulled her back, her kicking and screaming Anna's name.

It took a couple more minutes of fighting before the Grievers suddenly shut down. People stared at them in mistrust, but after a while figured it must have been Aris and Rachel somehow and cried in victory.
Jane quickly run to where Anna was and told a couple Gladers to help her to pull the beasts away. And after a bit they did, Jane gathering Anna in her arms, but it was too late. Anna was dead.

Chapter four

The next couple days went by in a sort of anticipation. Anticipation what else would go wrong. Two newbies in two days, one of them a boy, and then the box wasn’t going back down. How were they to survive? And as it comes many were mistrusting of the two newcomers. They blamed them for what had been happening. But how could they be responsible? After all they also landed up here like all the others, and no memory, except their names. So, how could they?
But of course, no one would listen to Anna. She didn't have any say in anything. Yes, it was quite odd to have a boy sent up, since only girls came up ever since the beginning. But he was still in the same boat as them. No one would believe and she didn't even try. She rather concentrated on her relationship with Jane, and of course, repairing her relationships with Harriet and Sonia. The good thing was though that the keepers had decided not to punish her more. At their gathering they agreed that her actions were irresponsible and she broke the rules. But she did save Sonia and then really punished herself. They all agreed not to push it. But there also were the people who were supposed to watch her twenty-four hours a day in case she would attempt again. But she wouldn't. Not anymore. Her life took a turn.

They sat together under a tree, leaning against it, Anna in Jane's arms, just after lunch. They were surprisingly granted some free time from Beth. And they were enjoying it. Anna was sitting with her back against Jane, and Jane playing with her hair.
"This feels good." Anna moaned.
"Yea?" she asked kissing her temple and Anna moaning a yes as an answer, smiling. "Good." She smiled and started nibbling at her ear.
Anna moaned and leaned into her, enjoying it, happier than ever. And after a while turned around, wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing her. Only shallow kisses, they felt the best. Jane running her hands over her back, holding her tightly to herself, and then gently squeezing Anna's butt.
Anna broke the kiss and giggled and so did Jane. Anna then looked deep into her eyes, "Thank you." Jane smiled and answered with another kiss.
Anna sighed after they broke the kiss. "I could stay like this forever."
"I know I could too." Jane answered her.
But that wasn't meant to be.

A couple hours later news went around the Glade that the boy was awake, and apparently his name was Aris. It also came out that he did know Rachel, but didn't know from where or how. But the most disturbing news however was that he supposedly knew something about the maze. Could they finally get out?
At this news the mistrust towards the two newbies grew, but would they really throw away maybe their only chance of getting out? It had been two years since the exploring of the maze and never was found anything. And now their first clue arrived in the box.
There were some calls to imprison them both, but they were rejected very quickly. Anna wanted to help but was told to keep her nose out of things she had no business in.
Jane hugged her. "Don't worry they'll do the right thing." She tried to encourage her.
"I really hope so."

The evening neared and the Gladers were slowly finishing their work. Also Anna and Jane went back to work to distract themselves from the events around.
Anna didn't really noticed the time, but when she was about to finish with the pigs she heard some shouts laced with panic and confusion, and turning towards them she saw some people running towards the gates.
"What's going on now?" she thought to herself. And then it clicked; the doors! They were still open. But they weren't supposed to be. She looked over at Jane her panic rising. Jane's face mimicked her own feelings. They weren't protected anymore.
The keepers commanded everyone to move as much as they could into the Homestead and barricade the windows and doors. They were all going to spend the night inside.
People quickly went to work barricading both windows and doors, moving provisions inside, some tools. Just anything that could be needed and would fit in there. Sadly they had to leave the animals outside to their own fate. They'd never fit inside together will all the Gladers. Anna felt worried for them and very sad, and so she went to them to say a goodbye in case they didn't make it.
With tears in her eyes she and Jane made their way slowly towards the Homestead when they heard shouts coming from the gates. The Grivers were coming.
The two of them quickly hurried inside, followed by the rest, barricading the entrance door. And inside they waited what would happen. Somehow they had to make it through the night.
The Homestead was packed to bursting. People sitting or standing everywhere, waiting what would happen. Those nearest to the windows silently watched what was going on outside and passing whispered reports.
Slowly the Grievers neared the Homestead. You could hear those deep moans and the metal bars crashing into the concrete as they rolled nearer and nearer. After a while the cries of the animals went up. Anna covered her ears, not able to bear it, Jane hugging her.
Then the first bars bit into the wood of the structure. Slowly they were circling it and climbing it. People jumped away from the windows.
You could feel the tension inside. It was as if a flood came inside and was crushing you. People trying make themselves as small as possible, waiting what the monsters would do. Every minute felt like an hour. People were barely breathing to not make a sound. But they knew they were inside. They knew well.
The first bang went up maybe half hour later, or it might have been five minutes, in one of the rooms down the hall and the Griever took a girl named Veronica. And when they had her they retreated for some reason. The monsters got one of them and then all just left. They were just toying with them, watching how long they could take it.
After the Grievers left they all tried to get some rest and sleep. Anna and Jane slept curled in an embrace in the hall. Their sleep was troubled and they woke up several times, but in the end managed to get several hours.

They were woken up in the morning by people walking around and talking in hushed voices. They both got up and then they all went out, being greeted by an even-layered gray sky. It didn't really look like a sky, but more like a ceiling.
A big discussion broke out, which was interrupted by Harriet storming in giving out tasks. The Homestead was in need of mending and reinforcing.
The Stokers went to have a look at the animals. None survived. Some of them broke down in tears at the look of their mangled bodies. It was one big slaughter. They didn't stand a chance. Other members came to console them. Sadly there was no time for a burial. Preparations had to be made. Then there was something about the newbie, something about the maps. Also the runners have been sent out as usual and they all hoped they'd find something. They really couldn't last long like this.

It was hard to tell when the evening neared when the sky above was always the same. And time passed slowly. There wasn't much to do, the Glade lay in ruins and all they could do was hide.
Things changed when the runners returned. They reported they found the place where the Grievers go during day. Apparently there was a hidden entrance beyond the cliff. They saw them jump and just vanish in the nothingness that lay beyond. So they tried to throw stones in the same direction and they vanished too. The opening wasn't big, but big enough to go through. They reckoned there might be a way out and so they lowered some ivy into the opening.
It all sounded very strange. How were they supposed to go over the Grievers? They sure wouldn't just let them walk past. And how could they be sure there was an exit, anyway?
The keepers decided to investigate further tomorrow and called for everyone to go inside. The two newbies came too and announced they hadn't made any progress yet.
The doors were barricaded and people found themselves some place to sit or lay down. Anna and Jane were again in the corridor, hugging and talking in whispers.
It didn't take long for the Grievers to arrive. Their moans and cries could be heard from afar. They were quite close when suddenly they could hear excited voices. It was the boy, Aris, talking to Rachel, Harriet and Sonia. Anna could hear it was something about the maps. And then they saw him running down the corridor. Apparently he wanted out. The others tried to stop him but he was far ahead. They could hear him downstairs throwing open the door and commanding the girls down to barricade them behind him, and he went off towards the map room. The others crowded around the windows to look if he made it. Anna could see him avoid some by diving to the right and then leaping over another and straight for the little building. “What was he after?” she wondered. The beasts went after him but he was faster. Quickly opened the door and slammed it behind him just in time for a couple Grievers to slam into them.
People watched his achievement and were discussing it passionately. But everyone backed away from the windows when they saw the beasts change course and head for the house. They couldn't get into the concrete building and stopped bothering with it.
They swarmed the house once more, people inside only waited who else would be taken. Would it be like yesterday and only one of them taken? Where would they get in?
Again they didn't wait long for the answer. It's been downstairs and they got Ariel, the girl who helped them get out of the maze. After that they retreated again.
And so once more after it was over people laid down, waiting what the morning may bring.

Chapter three

Anna slowly woke up, looking at the ceiling of the Homestead. She was alive. How was that possible? And why? Her eyes filled with tears.
One of the MedJacks noticed she was awake and came close. "You gave us quite a scare." She told her without any humor. "What were you thinking?"
"What do you think I was thinking?" Anna managed sluggishly. "How?...How come I'm alive?"
The MedJack looked at her, her name Catherine, Cat for short, Anna remembered. "Jane found you in the night. She wanted to have a look at you and found you almost dead, and roused the whole Glade. And then we got you."
"Jane." She said in a whisper, tears flowing. "It couldn't have gone worse. I'm such a klunk head." She said sobbing.
"Yes, you are." Cat told her. "You couldn't have hurt her more." She said giving her a hard look. "She wanted to go and tell you she loved you."
Anna's eyes snapped open and she looked at her. "What?" She breathed.
"You heard me."
Anna's sobs became more violent. Cat continued all business-like. "Sadly we don't have any way to give transfusions, so your recovery was longer and still will be. Besides, you will be under surveillance, so you can't do this again."
"How.....how long?" She managed between sobs.
Cat raised her eye brows. "How long were you out?" She asked and without waiting for a confirmation she continued. "Two days. You missed the newbie."
Anna managed to put her sobbing under control. "And Jane? How is she? And how is Sonia?" She asked.
"As for Sonia, she isn't well yet, but should be soon." She told her. "And as for Jane, well, how about you ask her yourself?" She said with the same hard look from before. "But first, you should eat," she said giving her a plate with a beef steak and potatoes. Anna took it without looking her in the eye or saying anything. She ate quickly so she could go looking for Jane.
When she was finished she quickly stood up, swaying on her feet she fell back on the bed. Her legs were quite unsteady and she felt weak, but she managed to stand up and slowly she stumbled out, supporting herself by leaning on the walls.
She got out and had to take a moment to rest. She was far from being well. A couple people noticed and gave her a hard look, then turned away from her, ignoring her. She decided not to care and went off to look for Jane. And it didn't take long. As usual at this time of the afternoon she was working. Anna found her with the pigs.
"Jane?" She called out, a little weakly. But she didn't answer her call. More, she didn't even turn her way, as if she didn't hear her. Anna sighed, she was in big trouble, her insides knotted and she felt like throwing up. But there was no turning back. And so she came nearer and called her name again. Nothing.
Anna stood there for a while and then decided to go close. She walked up directly to Jane. "Hey." She said uncertainly. No answer.
She looked down. "I'm really sorry Jane," she said taking a deep breath.
Finally Jane turned to her. "Are you?" She asked tears streaming down her cheeks.
Anna felt horrible. "Yes, I am," she said honestly. "And I'd like to explain."
"You wanted to kill yourself," her tears flowing faster now. "What is there to explain?"
Anna felt like crying herself. "There is. And I will, just, please, give me a chance." She said holding her hand up for her to take. But Jane didn't move an inch.
She took a deep breath. "You know I haven't been well before," she swallowed hard. "Truth is I've been so depressed with the life here. Trapped like the rats." She said, her tears now flowing too. "Each day was eating at me. It was always the same, unable to go out to really do something. I hated each day!" She told her fully sobbing now. "But then you came and I knew you were special. Special to me!" she touched her heart. "I fell in love with you." She paused, Jane still motionless. "But I feared to tell you. I feared what your reaction might be, and that I might lose you. And I could never take that." She was crying harder now. "I loved to be with you, but being unable to tell you hurt. It hurt so much! But I tried to be your friend, so I could be with you." She continued, shaking now. "Every day was eating at me, and then the thing with Sonia. I wanted to help and failed, making things only worse in the end. She got stung, I almost got killed, and you were angry with me and didn't talk to me, and rightly!" She said, her voice rising and people turning in their direction. "Everything went down the drain in that one day and most of it was my fault. I just couldn't take it anymore! It was too much!" She paused for a big sob. "Everything around me crumbled and I could see only dark. I just couldn't anymore. I hated myself and my life!" She fell to her knees crying, unable to say more.
Finally, Jane let her shovel fall and knelt beside her, not touching her. "Yes, I've been angry. But I should have known you'd do it. Everyone here knows you are like sisters," she herself crying hard now. "I just should have known. But when I found you in a pool of your blood it broke my heart," she looked at Anna. "Never have I seen something so horrible. I thought I lost you." The last words were breaking Anna's heart. She messed up big time. Was she really so selfish?
"I am so sorry." She sobbed. "I really am! I've been selfish! And now I did lose you." She said looking away.
"And who said that?" She heard Jane say, and whipped her head around, eyes wide. Jane smiled a fragile smiled and slowly hugged her and Anna hugged back. "Never, ever do that again to me." She silently sobbed into Anna's ear.
"I promise I won't. Never again," hugging her tighter as much her strength would allow.
"Good. Because I love Anna," she told her, hugging her tighter.

After many minutes they broke their embrace, dried each other’s tears and Jane helped her to her feet. She looked into Anna's eyes and slowly closed the gap between them and placed a soft kiss on her lips. In the background they could hear some cheers and they both smiled. Then they kissed again, this time much longer.
"Well, it's about time!" Harriet called from afar. Then when she was close slapped Anna on her forehead. "It'd be much better, however, if it'd be in the usual manner." She said giving her a hard look.
Anna looked away. "I know. I'm sorry."
"I'd feel much better if you actually looked me in the eye when you say it." She scolded.
Anna sighed and heavily looked up and into her eyes. "I'm sorry," then looked away again, unable to bear her look.
Harriet sighed heavily. "You know what? The two of you have the d....." She was saying when the alarm went off in the Glade, both Harriet and Jane looking shocked and confused. And it was just at the look of their shocked faces that Anna remembered. The newbie came yesterday. There wasn't supped to be one in the next month. What was going on?
They all ran to the box and threw the door open. Everyone stood around so tightly packed that there was no chance going through and have a look. So Anna and Jane had to wait at the back of the pack. But muffled chatter broke out and they could hear that it was a boy. And he seemed dead.

As it turned out he wasn't dead. Just in what seemed to be a coma. And the rumor went around the Glade that he said the newbies name, Rachel, when he woke up momentarily, establishing he wasn't dead, and then fell back into that comatose state.
Not to mention about the note he had in his hand. But Anna thought it quite straight forward. Well, it was straight forward. It read, "He's the last one, ever." If that wasn't clear then what was? The box wouldn't go back down. Apparently they were entirely on their own now.

Several hours had passed since they got back and Harriet left her there so coldly, and though she was very tired she did not fall asleep. Quite the opposite, she was wide awake. Wide awake and her mind was spinning furiously.
She couldn't help Sonia getting out of there safe. No, she got stung. She got stabbed herself. Her fate was to be decided. Would she get banished? And now Jane was upset with her and wouldn't talk to her. Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. And it was mostly all her fault. And she blamed herself only. She messed up, and badly.
All that was going round her head, till she couldn't take it anymore, she could not stand it. Stand this place. Stand herself. She slowly got up, the night had long settled down and the MedJaks were asleep. She took a knife, a piece of paper and a pencil. She sneaked out, scribbled something on the paper. Then, for a last time she looked around and said a silent goodbye, then took the blade to her flesh.

***

Jane couldn't sleep. Her mind was racing, and all she could think of was Anna. Yes, she was mad with her. Mad about abandoning her and rushing off into the maze and almost getting herself killed. But she also understood. She knew how the two of them were close. Everyone knew they were like sisters, even started calling each other that.
She was also mad with herself. Almost losing her without being able to tell her how she felt. She knew she liked her the first time she settled her eyes on her. And knew she loved her after the first time they talked. She admired her looks, her strength, but most of all her beautiful personality. And she didn't care if they were stuck here for the rest of their lives, not as long as she could be with Anna.
And that is when she made her decision. Decision to go over and confess her love, even if Anna didn't feel the same she had to do so. She may not have any other opportunity. Not after all that happened.
She took a deep breath, got out of bed and after putting her shoes on set out for the homestead, where she was kept.
Holding her lamp high so she could see where she was going she made her way towards the homestead, trying to be as silent as possible to not wake up anyone. She didn't want anyone to know where she was going and what she had in mind.
But then she noticed something in front of her. As she came nearer she could see it was the shape of someone, lying on the ground and something around them. She came closer still and stopped, white with horror. It was Anna in a pool of blood.
She came close and knelt next to her in her blood. She looked at her, and could see her wrists were slit. She was still holding the knife in her left hand and something in her right as well. Jane crept closer to look at it, unable to let out a single tone.
It was a piece of paper streaked with blood. She took it from her hand and close to her lamp. It was a poem, plus some other words. She read it carefully.

My heart aches but I feel numb
My thoughts dwelling in the dark
Thinking how futile it is to try
To continue and live this life.
People say try and fight
But they don't understand
I already lost this fight
Leaving slowly this world behind.
Drawing a fine line with my blade
To open both my wrists
And let my life wash away
And leave this world and this pain.

I am so sorry
I love you Jane