Ramisa (sentrancedbookworm)’s Comments (group member since May 24, 2015)

Ramisa (sentrancedbookworm)’s comments from the Write, Wrote, Written group.

Sorry about that. Is it okay now?

Chapter 2

Zoe paced the foyer as she waited for Adrian to arrive. She turned around to the sound of scurrying feet. His hair still dripping wet from his shower, he buttoned his shirt.
"Sorry, baby, the shower ran late," he said as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. His cleanly shaven face rubbed against her face as he did so, water dripping into her dress.
"You're wet," she laughed as she pushed him away.
As they walked towards the car, Adrian laced his fingers through hers. He pulled open the door, waiting patiently until she seated herself. Always the perfect gentleman, Zoe thought.
The movie had been great. Adrian had chosen the movie and it was the usual drama and romance. But Zoe, who had a thing for romance, could never get bored of it. Adrian had held her hands all the while, whispering cheesy lines now and then.

It was almost seven by the time he dropped her at Rico's Pizza Place. Even for a Thursday, the place was unusually packed. She caught Rico Junior's eye and nodded in greeting. He was a friend from high school who also had a serious crush on her. She had to wade her way to him and was about to get to get toppled over when he gripped her wrist, steadying
her.
"Whew, one more second and I would've been trampled to death."
Rico gave her a loopy grin. "Do you think I would've let that happen?"
Zoe playfully squeezed her shoulders. "Oh, my knight in shining armor, how may I repay thou?"
"Will you go out with me?"
"Rico," she swatted his arm. He shook his head laughing, as he led her across the crowd and to where her best friend was supposedly sitting.
"Rico, why is it so packed tonight?"
"The Greek Gods are playing here tonight," he said, a tone of sarcasm clearly audible.
"Um... The Greek Gods?" She asked, incredulously.
"Yeah. You must have heard of the lead singer. Zachary Grey," he snorted.
"Oh, yeah. He is the son of some rich producer."
Rico suddenly stopped mid-step and Zoe almost crashed into him. He twisted his head around, giving her a look of utter disbelief.
"You mean Aden Grey? The guy who practically owns Hollywood? Only money can call Aden Grey some rich producer," he scoffed.
Zoe rolled her eyes. "Fine, you love my money. I get it. Now lead on."
She found Marcus in their usual booth, his arms wrapped around a girl she had never met before. He had his charm on with his ridiculously witty lines and gorgeous grin. The girl was pretty much hanging to his every word. Zoe didn't blame her though. If she weren't his best
friend since Kindergarten, she was sure she would've fallen for him too.
Marcus Queen was a charmer. He had long golden brown hair that fell all over his forehead, framing his face. The hazel eyes that peeked from underneath them had always been the first thing innumerable girls fell in love with, apart from his ridiculously charming self, of
course. He had been the football captain in high school and always the popular kid in the crowd. The fact that his father was one of the top filmmaker in town did help his status much.
As the girl rested her head on his shoulder for what she thought was a
romantic gesture, Marcus met Zoe's eye. He gave her a pleading look which Zoe understood in a jiffy.
"Marcus, you bastard," she bellowed.
The girl raised her head in alarm, scared at the sight of Zoe towering over her. She looked at Marcus for assurance but was flabbergasted to see him cowering under her stare.
Zoe turned to face the young girl who would've been around fifteen, if her guess was right.
"You!" Zoe sputtered. "What do you think you're doing, getting your filthy hands all over my man? Get out."
The girl scooped up her knock off Chanel purse and shot out through the door, tears welling up in her eyes.
Zoe sighed. Pretending to flicker off crumbles of his chin, she gave him a light smack. "The girl seemed nice. Why did you make me hurt her like that?"
He grabbed a tissue from the stand and rubbed the spot, where the girl laid her head on moments earlier.
"Drooled too much," was his only explanation.
She slid into the booth next to him as he ordered them a large Pepperoni and Mushroom pizza.
"You can't hurt woman like that. We are humans after all."
"As if women are as saint as you are describing them to be."
"She is an exception."
"Where is Caroline? She can't be running late?" Marcus asked, changing the topic.
As soon as the words left his mouth, Zoe knew her other best friend had arrived, even before she saw her. Her signature scent, cherry apple and strawberry, custom made by her father's company could be smelled from miles away and Zoe was only at the other end of the room.
She walked in through the door, her eyes wandering around until they finally landed on them. She glided towards them in that confident stride of hers, not a strand of burgundy hair out of its place. Her hips swayed, dragging the attention of every guy. A group of them whistled and she blew them a huge kiss. Girls stared daggers at her.
"Caroline Baxter, did you just run late?" Zoe asked her, in mocked shock.
Caroline shooed her away with a wave of hand.
"Parker. His car broke down and I had to give him a ride." According to Caroline, Parker was her younger brother, by seven minutes. She refused to acknowledge him as her twin.
"Where did he go? Venus?" Zoe asked.
"You're one to say. You just arrived," Marcus pointed out, slowly sipping from his glass.
Caroline laughed as Zoe shot him menacing looks.
Suddenly there was a burst of static and they flinched. The band had started playing and they were actually quite good, Zoe admitted. The stage was out of her sight and as she craned her neck to get a better view, she was blocked by hoards of young teenage girls flailing
and pretty much swooning at whomever was the lead singer.
As she turned out around to face Marcus, she was surprised to see the color drained from his face.
"Are you alright? You look white as a sheet, “She said but was met by silence.
She followed his gaze and was horrified to see Haley Crawford dancing in the arms of yet another boyfriend.
Zoe looked at Marcus as he held his breath. He noticed her looking and shrugged. He downed the contents of his glass all at once.
Marcus had been in love with her two years but Haley had always been oblivious to that fact since she had always been busy changing her boyfriends like she had changed her clothes. When she finally did notice, she ditched him two days later, telling him how they all were
best friends and that wouldn't work out.
But what was worse was the she had been grooving with was Zoe’s ex-boyfriend. Zoe watched her for a while, clearly aware of the pained look on Marcus’s face. As she got up, hoping to have a little talk with Haley, Marcus stopped her/
"Please, don't," he said. "She's not worth it."
Excusing herself, she went out through the back door. She found a trash can and kicked it as hard as she could.
“Idiot,” she muttered, kicking some more cans.
One of the many things she could not stand was not standing up for her friends.
Something moved behind her and broke her trance. Her heartbeat quickened as someone tall and lean came out from the shadows, deep from within the alley. Stepping back, she found the solid wall behind her, decreasing her defense.
“Well, well, well. Do we have a wildcat here?”

Chapter 1
Adrian Haden. The name brought a smile to her face as she thought about him during breakfast. Adrian had taken her out on a date the night before. He blew her mind with all the romantic gestures Zoe had always dreamed of.
“What are you smiling about?” Christian asked grumpily. Zoe looked up from her honey glazed waffle as he walked down the stairs and flopped on the seat next to her.
“Good Morning,” Zoe smiled. She pulled back her auburn hair into a high ponytail. “You look… fresh as a daisy.” Christian snorted.
His titian hair was sticking at odd angles and his blue eyes were still fazed from sleep.
“Good Morning? What is that?” he asked, as his forehead hit the cool breakfast table.
“It is the time of day which you never knew existed,” Rhea said as she put a plate of waffles before him.
“I don’t get it. How do you a run a billion dollar telecom industry if you can’t get to the office before nine?” Zoe asked.
“I am the CEO,” he scoffed.
Zoe rolled her eyes at Rhea. Even though it was six in the morning, Rhea had already managed to take a shower, make breakfast for them, contacted her restaurant and completed all the household chores. Her short copper hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail at the nape of her neck. Her green emerald stared back into Zoe’s blue ones in amusement. She chuckled as she caressed her huge belly. “It seems that baby Amelia has finally awakened.”
Christian raised his head smiling. He got down from his stool and walked towards his wife,
gently cupping her belly and making the most ridiculous sounds Zoe had ever heard. Zoe laughed at the scene before her, secretly hoping that she would have such a future with Adrian someday.
But they had a long way to go. Though only two months ago had been the first time they had met, it felt like eternity to her. Her heart racing from her usual night tremors of her parent’s accident, Zoë had sprinted out through the backdoor for a breath of fresh air.
The cold wind blasted her on the face as she tossed her sandals on one corner of the patio and walked towards the beach. The sand felt soft and grainy between her toes and the waves sloshed against her ankles in a rhythmic beat. Having the only thing she grabbed from the footstool in a hurry, she pulled the thin shawl tighter. The florescent crests of the wave glistened under the gaze of full moon. She closed her eyes and pulled her head back. She thought she had been
standing there for, what seemed a couple of minutes.
“Here, I thought penguins were only found in the Arctic.”
She jerked her eyes open, her head snapping towards the source. The moonlight was bright enough to make out some of his features; tall,
handsome and a really good build. “Antarctica is not a bad place to look for them either,” Zoe said.
“If I had to choose between the penguins of L.A or Antarctica, I would definitely choose L.A,” he said, slyly.
“Why would that be?” she asked, curious for his answer.
“L.A has the most beautiful penguins,” he grinned.
“Cheesy lines at its worst. You really need to work on it,” Zoe said, grinning back.
He pretended to be taken back. “Hey, who said I was flirting with you?”
“You weren’t? Oh my bad. I was really looking forward to talk with a handsome young bloke,” Zoe replied, herself pretending to be disappointed.
“You think I’m a handsome young bloke?” he asked, smirking.
“Who said I was talking about you?”
He shook his head. “Ha-ha, very funny. If you must know, I was just checking up on you. You were completely still for about ten minutes.”He took out his hands from his pocket, rubbing them vigorously.
“Why were you staring at me for about ten minutes?”
He let out a quick laugh, causing wisps of smoke to circle around him.
“I happen to like watching beautiful woman,” he said, as matter-of-fact. But as soon as he noticed her quizzical look, he seemed to reconsider. “Gosh, I sound like a serial killer.”
“You sure do. Are you sure, you aren’t?”
“I am trying to keep that as a backup plan, you know. Architecture can be a major pain in the ass,” he scowled.
“Oh, you are the Architect major? You must be… Adrian Haden,” she tried, as flashbacks from two afternoon before came back to her. Christian had told her something about an Architect major renting the studio at the far end of the estate.
“And you must be… Miss Beautiful?” he asked.
“I sure am. But you can call me Zoe. Everybody else does.” She shook his extended hand, appreciating his firm grip. Somewhere from behind, a light fell on his face, illuminating his amber eyes. She looked back and found the bathroom light to Christian’s room on.
“I should go,” she said, hoping that Christian wouldn’t find out. As she was seventeen, she had a strict curfew which she never followed but that never stopped Christian from bickering.
“Are you trying to run away from me?” he asked, his eyes widening in surprise.
“Should I?” she asked, coyly.
“Damn,” he muttered drily. “I should’ve known I was a bad flirt. No wonder I have no girlfriend. So would you like to go out with me?”
Her mouth dropped open and she stood there, gaping at him like a moron. Quickly composing herself, she admired his guts.
“Right on business. But you don’t even know me.” She paused, waiting for his next cheesy line.
He started, “Well, I know that you are beautiful and witty and smart and-
“Whoa, whoa, Mr. Cheese-Master,” she interrupted. Glad that she wasn’t disappointed, she continued, “I’m really flattered. In fact, I’m over the moon, but-“
“Don’t tell me you’re taken,” Adrian said, almost pleading. A light breeze blew by; messing up his neatly combed ginger hair.
Zoe couldn’t help but smile. “No, I’m not taken, but-
“No buts, Miss Zoe.” He paused while she rolled her eyes playfully.
“So shall I see you?”
Zoe laughed as she shook her head. “You shall.”

I am an amateur writer. And after seeing the member's writings, I definitely am suffering from inferiority complex. But I really want to improve my writing skills.
So please, feel free to throw anything on my way.

Warning: Contains Language
Prologue
The sun had long vanished behind the rows of forests Javier drove by, but his kids had yet to retire from their celebration. They were still whooping about in their sits, engaging themselves in friendly fistfights and elbowing each other in the ribs. It was probably the after effects of the numerous energy drinks they consumed rather than the joy of spending a whole weekend with their family. After springing the news of road trip to them, when Zoe and her siblings had complained about the back pains and how tolerating the company of one another for forty eight hours would be catastrophic, their father had simply said ‘family bonding time’ and ended the argument.
With only two hours left to reach the gates of the Vague estate, the excitement within the car had subsided a little. Zoe had her feet propped up in the back of her father’s seat as she stared out the window and into the moonlight sky, unable to decide which was brighter; the billions of twinkling stars altogether or the full moon. Amelia fiddled with the Rubik’s cube that she always had with her.
Addison cranked up the radio and Kesha’s voice filled the car. Zoe started humming and her mother sang along with her from the passenger seat. Christian joined them a moment later, his voice tuneless as
ever.
Whipping her head towards his direction, Addison said, “Honey, I know I am your mother but I really cannot tolerate someone so…” she paused, choosing her words carefully. “Unmelodious,” she ended blandly.
Zoe snorted as he made a face at her.
“Hey,” Christian protested. “At least I am better singer than dad.”
Javier started laughing, the snort underneath booming everywhere. “Whoa, son, speak for you.”
“Daddy, I saw your wedding video. You sound terrible,” Amelia prompted, as if it was a matter-of-fact. Zoe and Christian held up two hands, and she high-fived them from in between.
Javier suddenly stopped laughing, his eyes darting towards the rear-view mirror where he threw mocked-threatening glances at his seven year old daughter. Amelia just shrugged while Addison pressed her lips together, trying to hold back the laughter. A giggle broke out causing Javier to pout.
“Really, mom, how do you tolerate him?” Zoe asked.
“Darling, there is nothing in this world that defines perfect. You have to make the best of everything you have,” Addison said.
“Umm, you are supposed to say, ‘Your dad is perfect just the way he is’,” Xavier said. He gave her an incredulous look, which Addie blew a
kiss at.
“I am settling for nothing less than perfect,” Zoe said drawing smiley’s on the nearly frosted window.
“Who would settle for you?” Christian asked.
“No boys for you until you are thirty, missy,” Xavier said.
Zoe rolled her eyes but kept her mouth shut. Amelia had finally tossed the cube aside and fell asleep on Zoe's shoulders. Christian started texting and her parents happily chattered about the weekend.
It was almost midnight when they stopped for the last time before they reached home. The parking lot was almost empty except for a couple of teenagers making out in the distance. Zoe wanted skittles and Christian had to use the bathroom. Addison didn’t want to leave a sleeping Amelia all by herself in the car and Xavier was too tired to walk. Zoe was almost halfway to the departmental store when she turned
around, realizing that she had left her wallet in the car. She took only a couple of steps when a speeding lorry crashed into the car, tossing it like a piece of worthless matchstick.