Me, Myself, and I’s Comments (group member since Feb 03, 2014)

So she did what was expected of her and married a high-end man at twenty years old, a man she felt virtually nothing for, Kent Hecate. But he had money and his social status was right where it needed to be in order to match that of the Stridens. He was oblivious to the fact that his wife was still very much so in love with the commoner she’d met in her teen years and, two years after their marriage, their first child was on the way. Edmund Dexter Hecate was the perfect distraction from the fact that, every single day, Juliette was on a stage. She was acting like she was in love with a man who evoked nothing, no stirrings of anything, if just to continue her life of high society and riches. Her baby boy demanded her full time attention- at least, at first he did. But after a while, she grew immune to the sound of his screeching and crying and she was right back in the robotic mode of pretending. And three years later, when Alexandra was born, Juliette knew exactly what to expect. Constant crying and no help from the man who called himself her husband. This time around, there was no grace period. No short moment in time where Juliette was actually grateful for the little bundle of joy in her arms. Instead, she resented her daughter. This just meant she had to be fake mother again, instead of hitting the bottle of Jack like she’d recently taken a liking to.

“You don’t hear me/When I say/’Mom, please wake up
DAD’S WITH A SLUT & YOUR SON IS SMOKING CANNIBUS.’”

But Juliette couldn’t bring herself to be a mother to Zandra. Couldn’t bring herself to care when she cried, had no attachment to the thing in her arms when she fed her. And then, of course, Kent was starting to notice. It was hard not to, after all, when the constant sound of a baby’s squealing was being ignored by his wife. He’d go into the living room only to see Juliette, shot glass in her hand, as baby Alexandra sat crying until she was blue in the face in her crib. It was when Alexandra was seven, Edmund ten, when things really blew up. Julie was on a downward spiral, the only time she was sober being when she was out in public at a ball or banquette. Kent Hecate had finally reached his breaking point: Zandra remembers the screaming to this very day. So much screaming and the sound of a wine glass smashing against a wall. Being the little sneak that she was, Zandra was eavesdropping; enough to hear the name Tatyanna Quinn and her mother finally admitting that she’d never loved Kent. That he’d just been the means to an end. For a seven year old, she was smart and she could connect the dots. After all, she knew a Quinn- Hayden Quinn. It was from that day on that she hated that kid, unconditionally and with a fiery passion. All she understood was that his family was the reason for the stony silence in her household and that was all she needed to know. She hated him, and vice versa.

But their war didn’t last long and, soon enough, Zandra was being pulled away from him to be homeschooled. After all, as her drunken mother liked to point out, it was high time Zandra learned the art of being a high class lady. ”Does that mean drinking, mama?” It hadn’t meant to be a smart aleck question, but clearly her mother had thought so. Which would explain the hard smack she’d gotten right across the face, gem-stoned rings and all. But whatever, it wasn’t the first time her mother had hit her, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last. And apparently, her daughter had an instant inclination towards high society because it clicked relatively quickly. The crossing over her legs like a lady, the unspoken politics that came with the rich. It all made sense, just as it had come natural for Juliette herself.

But being home more often as she was growing up meant having her eyes opened to things that you don’t necessarily want to be seeing. Like walking in on your dad and some younger woman in his office, while Mother’s downstairs drinking away her sorrows. Or smelling the strong scent of. . . Something off outside and investigating only to see your brother getting higher than a kite. But did it matter what she was seeing? No, not really. Not to a mother who’s too busy acquainting herself with a bottle of tequila and not a family friend in sight. Family friend was a term that was more so a joke- high society meant being concerned with yourself and yourself only. Something her mother had made sure to teach her and teach her well- so that meant there was nothing Zandra would do.

All she could do was accept the role she was assigned, of course. Just as her mother had once done, Zandra adapted, conforming to who she was supposed to be.

”Hey girl/Look at my mom/She’s got it going on,
{ ha } YOU’RE BLINDED BY HER JEWELRY.”

To the outside world, the Hecate family is perfect. Untouchable, the picture of what high class should be. They’re rich, due to both Juliette and Kent’s constant supply of money from their family- not to mention Zandra’s father owning a large corporation. Oh yeah, that definitely helps. Money can buy you anything darling, didn’t anyone ever tell you that? Her mother has. On numerous occasions. Cash is what makes Earth spin, what urges people to do more, be better so they can get even more. If you’d like Zandra’s personal take on it? Ultimately, it’s money that breeds greed. But don’t ever let Mother dearest hear that- she would skin her alive. Not like she’d ever consider even uttering the words out loud anyways. It would ruin that image of Bitchy Ice Princess Zandra has going for her, the only image she has. According to Juliette, you are nothing without money and her daughter is working hard to adopt that same mentality.

Juliette and Zandra can afford to adorn themselves in jewels and diamonds, pearls wrapped around their necks like a noose and bracelets curled around their wrists tight enough to cut off circulation. Kent can buy those suits he wears, thinking it makes him top dog, and Eddie can pay for those whores who give him some love for a night. The Hecates have it all aside from the crown –not something they would even want, because who needs that kind of responsibility. They have that untouchable air about them even in a room full of other nobility, the aura that hides a barely concealed threat of screw with me and I’ll grind you into dirt, you peasant. From the outside looking in, there’s nothing more any of them could ever want. They have it all.

And yet? Juliette, Kent, Edmund, and little Zandra are all still searching for more.

”When you turn your back/She pulls out a flask
AND FORGETS HIS INFIDILITY.”

That can be the only explanation as to why her mother is slowly drinking herself to death in the safety of her own home, right? Into a sweet oblivion that nothing else can provide for Juliette, somewhere Zandra can’t follow her mother to no matter how hard she tries. At one point in time, she had even taken a sip of the Jack Daniels her mother seems to have such a liking for. Slipped it out from her mother’s slackening hand and popped off the glass cap. She was thirteen and in desperate need of understanding what the draw was. Downing a little and it had burned all the way down little Alexandra’s throat- never something she’d ever try again. Like, ever. That was what her mother was choosing over her own children? Here she was expecting it to at least taste good, maybe like chocolate or cotton candy, someway she could explain it all to herself. But as Zandra grew up, she stopped telling herself that her mother was drinking away life because alcohol tasted good- it was because she was seeking something more than her family could give her.

After all, wanting more has to be the reason that Father is sleeping around with women barely older then Zandra herself, as if he was a high school girl looking for a place to belong. Clearly, he wants more than what his wife is offering for him- which, in other words, is nothing but drunken fights. Smoking things that simply shouldn’t be inhaled must be Edmund’s way of seeking something else. Of escaping the screwed to hell family that everyone seems to think is oh so perfect. Or at least, this is what Zandra used to tell herself at night. How she would consul herself when she’s curled up on her bed, –alone- trying to rationalize it all. Trying to help herself understand. Because otherwise, the realization that keeping quiet could be hurting her family more than helping it? It was right there, in the back of her mind.

Now though, if you’d ask Zandra how she feels about her family life? Her answer would simply be nothing. She’s turned it all off now. After all, feeling that guilt, thinking there was something more she could do? It eats away at a person until they’re nothing more than a shell. And Zandra? Not the ‘shell’ type of person. Her mother could slowly kill herself if that’s what she wanted to do, her father could screw with girls that could very well have been her classmates, and her older brother? He could smoke his brains out if that’s what pleased him. Zandra is done caring, done trying to stop it. That’d be about as possible as trying to freeze a freight train.

”Everyone thinks that/We’re perfect,
PLEASE DON’T LET THEM LOOK THROUGH THE CURTINS.”

To this day, the Hecate family is seemingly perfect. Something everyone believes, seeing as how, living in high class means no friends. Juliette has it all together, doesn’t drink herself to death each and every night, and is about as pure as those natural-cut diamonds along her fingers. She’s flawless and absolutely has never laid a hand on her equally-as-flawless daughter. Kent has complete control over that billboard family of his, is a loving and attentive husband and father, and actually remembers the middle name of that son of his. He’s completely faithful and has always been. Edmund is the bachelor son that all the girls are vying for, totally coherent during every single social event he’s ever attended. He still lives with his parents because his sense of family is very, very strong.

And then there’s Alexandra, who, despite her best efforts, does not have that perfect image down pat yet. Surprising, right? She is the daughter who has a bit of an attitude problem, as feisty as a feline, and still has yet to think about marriage.. Maybe that’s because she’s a slut who sleeps around. She is 100% honest. About everything, even when you don’t want it. She in no way shape or form hides anything. And, despite the fact that she is the one with the most tarnished reputation, she is still extremely high up on the social food chain.

Because of that perfect family of hers.

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“Hey girl/Open the walls/Play with your dolls,

WE’LL BE A PERFECT FAMILY.”

Juliette Elena Striden has always been a master actress. She’s paraded around life with this pretentious air of superiority, one she herself believed, since she knew the meaning of social classes- and the fact that she was quite high up there. In other words, since she was about six years old. The Striden family was nobility at its finest and, from day one, they trained their only daughter right. The only thing capable of making her parents proud: being the best of the best. It was a life Juliette claims to have loved, even as one can imagine it was a lot of pressure. A lot of unnecessary stress to beat everyone else at this unspoken competition, one that her parents had built up in her mind. Being brainwashed into believing the whole world is a race that you must constantly be winning is an exhausting thought in itself, much less actually living it. But that was Juliette’s family, only second to the royal family and the crown. And it was a role the arrogant daughter took on well; every time she beat those around her at something, whether it was having the best penmanship or the most musically inclined, it only added to the belief that her family was destined for greatness.

In other words, Juliette was good at living up to what her parents wanted for her. Half because they were good at applying pressure offhandedly and half because Juliette was just good at everything. She was bred to be the perfect noble and living up to that heritage, she was. At least, until she met him. That’s right, we don’t refer to him by name: kind of like the devil. He was everything her parents wouldn’t want Juliette to look at, and maybe that’s why he caught her eye like he did. Or maybe it was just because she was a stupid young girl. For a commoner, there was something so. . . Striking about him, though. Forbidden fruit tastes the best, right? The first time they went out, she told herself it was nothing. He was nothing, just a fling she would soon cast aside for the best option available in her class. Her intentions of not keeping him around for long were pure enough, but things rarely work out that way, you know? It didn’t take long for Juliette to fall in love with him, that asshole. And what would you know, she wasn’t the only girl he was paying attention to. Her name was Tatyanna, she was a commoner like him, and Juliette has hated her since the moment she found out about her existence. After all, why would you consider a peasant when you had Juliette right there, within touching distance?

But none of that mattered, because the Stridens would not have their only daughter considering a low-class man. What would he be able to provide for their only linage? Nothing worthwhile, that’s what. So they put their foot down, quickly setting that ablaze. Did it stop Juliette from longing for him from afar and hating that Tatyanna bitch for no doubt snatching him up the moment she was pulled away? No. But she never acted on it, because that wasn’t who Julie was. She would live by the role she was assigned, because life’s happy endings weren’t about finding love- they were about money and social power. That’s it. No time for feelings or emotions since, in the end, that was just a game for people to toy with. And Juliette would be damned if she was anyone’s puppet.