Violet (Charlie Kirk’s Version)’s Comments (group member since Dec 08, 2024)

Violet (Charlie Kirk’s Version)’s comments from the poetryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy group.

This one is really long...I did the coffee with my younger self trend

I walked in and saw my younger self, who came in five minutes early
At 13, she had a big gap-toothed smile and was excited to see me
I sucked in a breath and sat down at the table with shaking hands
And I knew the young girl in front of me wouldn't understand
She had no care for what she was wearing, or how she looked
All she cared about was when she could get her hands on a good book
She was wearing an oversized t-shirt and too big skinny jeans
Never having to worry about someone she didn’t know being mean
Who knew so much could change in three long years
Though all it felt like to me was a lifetime of countless tears
But now I’m just looking back at a girl with a never fading grin
Once we have our drinks in hand I suck in a breath and begin
“So many things have happened, both good and bad
There will be times you question if you’ll ever stop being sad
But you’ll also get to feel love for a boy who loves you back
Who will comfort you, hug you, and never let you crack”
“A boy falls in love with ME?!” she quickly cuts in.
I smile and remember when I never thought that could happen
If only she knew our man is better than anything she could imagine
“So,” she persists. “You still have to tell me everything”
If only she knew the dark days her next few years would bring
“Well,” I take a sip of my drink. “you’re gonna lose your very best friend”
“What?” She cries. “But Amanda and I promised to never end.”
I had thought that too. “You’ll soon after get better friends though
Ones that actually love you and help you change and grow.
Some people will make comments that’ll be sure to hurt you
And there will be a few bumps in the road, you have to get through.
There will be so many times you’ll feel like you lost all hope
With many more you’ll feel like you’re at the end of the rope
You’ll have a few friends at home and be extremely lonely.
You’ll have to watch what you say so you don't come off as a bully.”
She has fallen silent, but her face shared every one of her thoughts.
Confusion on how it would be like this after all she’d fought
I had to explain before life was something she began to dread
“So it’s true some days you think you’d be better off dead
But you need to remember Christ is what brings you joy
Not your looks or your friends or a handsome boy
You need to understand some things will be out of your control
And leaning on Him needs to be your number one goal.
You’re going to make it through, trust me I know you will
Violet, you just need to remember to trust God and be still”
My younger self looked at me with a new light in her eyes
She stands up and gives me a hug, taking me by surprise
Even though it doesn't mean our problems will disappear
I hug her back, knowing it was what we both needed to hear
I let go and watch her gracelessly stumble out the door
Glad everything happened to make me different than i was before

Always causing something new
Someone mad, someone blue
Someone pissed, someone annoyed
Someone who I try to avoid
All because of stupid old me
Highlighting all the flaws they see
Can’t just be a different person
Not even after so much exertion
Always a mess up, always a mistake
Any more and I’ll start to break

The first line is a lyric from a song and I just built from there...

Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me
It didn’t take long to realize it was a fantasy
That’s when I just stared blankly at the ceiling
Wishing my life could finally have some meaning
Not just meaning, but I want a hand to hold
I want someone I can laugh with until I’m old
I feel like I’m wandering aimlessly through life
Trying to get through my days without strife
But I’m all by myself, completely alone
Not one place I’ve went feels like home
I will be the forgotten girl in the background
Secluded in the corner, with no one around
Everyone else finding happiness and love
When I just simply want to be thought of

I look in the mirror and give myself a smile
I am a flawless girl with perfect style
My teeth aren’t crooked, I have a beautiful face
I always carry myself lightly with grace
I have the perfect body, delicately curved
The numerous compliments I get are fully deserved
Every strand of hair falls in place perfectly
I’m not a burden on my boyfriend and completely worthy
I always have the right words, I never mess up
I always think through what I’ll say, never abrupt
I’m the type of girl with hundreds of friends
Never once wishing my life could just end
The girl in the mirror is perfect in every way
Always loving herself at the end of the day
Then I remember that’s was only what I wish to see
So I guess I’ll just have to stick with the stupid, ugly, old me

Lond wrote: "“but alice..this isn’t wonderland“
if he’d told me beforehand,
that this was madness,
but i was lost in the vastness,
such a perfect place,
traps hidden from a daunting maze,
lost in my own head,
m..."

omg I love it

Sophie wrote: "that is so sad!!!!

what song was it?"

Call your mom by Noah Kahan!

I love that idea!

My friend gave me two lyrics of a song to work off of…some lines aren’t great but here it is

“Dear don’t be discouraged,” he whispered
He encouraged me and held me as I whimpered
“I’ve been exactly where you are”
That’s when his voice started to become far
People offer me that assurance constantly
But when they do they never listen honestly
They don’t actually know how I feel,
Like all these demons inside me might be real
They can’t see inside my head,
Hearing me think I’m better off dead
No, they just see all the vulnerability
As I’m sobbing, wishing I wasn’t me
They can’t see who I am inside
Or even see how hard I’ve tried
To see my breath as worth breathing
Even as he holds me, crying and pleading
Guilt crushes me as I ignore his pleads
But I feel that one less me is what he needs
What he needs to be happy and better
Which is why I sign “with love” on that letter
The letter that makes him speed down the street
Praying that when he arrived it was me he’d meet
And not the nurse telling him it’s too late
But then he’d finally start with a blank slate
He’d learn to hate me like everybody does
But he could only hate the memory of what was

@Mazzy and @Sophie HOLY CRAP YALL

I wrote a poem using vampire by Olivia rodrigo

You were like a vampire, sucking me dry
You kept spitting out countless lies
You constantly pointed out all my mistakes
You had no idea how much energy it takes,
To constantly listen to all your critiques
You never knew me bc you never let me speak
You never wanted me for my personality
You only wanted to show me off at your party
You think you’re cool cuz your daddy is rich
But my daddy taught me to not date a b*tch
So this is why I’m saying no, right here, right now
But I can’t help but scream at myself: How?
How could I let you do this to me?
I’m clearly not who you want me to be
You may sit there and think you’re oh-so smart
If you were, you never would've broken my heart

Omg all of those are so good

BRO ESP BIBLIOPHILE LIKE HOLY CRAP BRO

I heard him tell her he’s never been in love
That’s not what he said, drunk at the pub
He said I was the prettiest girl he had ever seen
And I believed him, even tho that girl was me
The one that he left, shattered and alone
The one he had claimed felt like home
I wish I had thought twice and rejected that ring
Instead of hoping for a future he could never bring
I will never forget the day I stood by myself
A bride with no groom, abandoned on the shelf
That’s why I’m at the pub again, watching from afar
Wishing I could tell that girl that he will break her heart

Here are three (that absolutely suck compared to Ari’s ma gosh)

I wish I could believe them when
They reassure me again and again
“You’re so smart and beautiful” they said
Then why do I think I am better of dead?
The reassurances never seem to work
My self hatred always creeping back to lurk
I believe for a moment but it seems to fade
Trapped in this mind, I’m still left afraid
These thoughts on repeat, a constant loop
I try tell myself it’s just one last hoop
Just jump through it one more time
And hopefully it will be the end, you’ll be fine
Yet I still come crawling, begging for help
But I always come out still hating myself
I don’t know if I can ever be fixed
Alone, forever wishing I didn’t exist

…

Some people turn to liquor, drugs
Some turn to good things, like coffee or hugs
Meanwhile I drown my depression in books
Reading by myself, in all my little nooks
You might think that makes it worse, being alone
But honestly the worlds of books are my home
Drowning my troubles in another’s life
Finding some solace away from the strife
I get mentally transported to another land
Being with the character as they take a stand
The stand taken regardless of what’s at stake
The stand that I could only wish to take
Not against a villain or monster, but my own mind,
always being scared of what I’m going to find
That’s why I read about a character facing their fear,
Because it’s the only time my thoughts disappear

…

I just shut it off in the back of my mind
I say “Don’t worry about it, you’re totally fine”
Then that’s when it comes out at night
I could say it’s bark was worse than it’s bite
But we both know that would be a lie
as I hide under my covers and hopelessly cry
It’s funny I use my blankets like protection
when the only thing I’m scared of is my reflection
Well, my reflection and the thoughts that arise
if I happen to stare too long into my eyes
The thoughts that haunt me before I sleep
That dreadful time when loathing starts to creep
My own loathing for my body, my thoughts
And I keep telling myself this until all seems lost
I try my hardest to be nice to everyone else
So why is it so hard to be nice to myself?

Definitely not my best but here's one I just wrote:

I’m not the smart girl everyone thinks I am
I’m just a dreamer without a plan
I always disappoint everyone I know
The smarts I have are just a show
I try to reshape the image I’ve made
But flinch as I hide my failing grade
People always tell me I’m smart
Never realizing that it’s just a part
I struggle to keep the facade awake
But I know if I do it for longer I’ll break
I seem to fail with everything I do
Maybe I might just fail at life too

OMG ALL OF THESE ARE SO GOOD

...and scary relatable

Why am I such a burden to bear?
Why doesn’t anyone actually care?
This is what I ask myself, day in and day out
Never ending questions, filling me with doubt
Like if I’m gone, will they still need me?
Or will they rejoice in my absence, finally free?
Free of my pestering, free of my chains
Free from the weight of all my pains
From all my worries and all my fears
And all my annoyances through the years
I always seem to make things worse
My companionship alone, a constant curse
Though I tried, I know I never did enough
I always failed them when times got tough
Without me, life would be easier to endure
One less burden on their shoulders, I’m sure
I hate to think what will happen if I’m gone
Knowing without me, they’d easily move on