Arthur’s Comments (group member since Oct 25, 2008)

Arthur’s comments from the Short Story Contests group.

Marc wrote: "<"While sitting by the fire"
It must b..."

"

ha

These are stories that are ALWAYS less than 75 words. Today's topic is Snow.
You may write your story to be a really short mystery, or about just walking through it, or a place where it falls like the north pole. It can be anything.

Thanks...
it came to me this afternoon after you opened the topic/
it's a bit rough/I left out an o or something in a to. Anyhow I hope it makes sense.

The expedition went very rye. A traitor’s greed or in his defense to survive questioned the sudden cold that fell that had killed some of the dogs that remain outdoors. The next night had proved colder. Etc. until the expedition was given up. To few of the men still lived and they didn’t have control over the tribes people any longer and let them go. Not that anyone believed the people had a real chance to survival. The tribes people left and were never seen again. Some time later the men returned to tell the story of their expedition. The story would change with the suggestion that those tribes people used black magic to kill their captives.
Elizabeth is now looking for these southern American tribes Indians trapped somewhere hundreds of years later in Canada. Maybe they had all died out. Maybe they had been more fortunate to find help from another expedition or even found the Eskimo.
History says it was one of the first expeditions. The likelihood of another was impossible in the day. So they either lived or died.
I Brad Mukluk look for my wife who I still love although we seek different careers in different worlds of exploration. This expedition she has learned of is one of many other most dangerous things she has taken interest in. What if the story does prove true? What can that lead to? I am only thinking of her and her safety. After I find her I will talk sense to her, even as an husband can, and have her return to Ontario. Maybe convince her to retire as we are both aging.
We were headed to Edward VIII Ice Shelf. It is said the exploration did become lost from the cold and had entered this Ice Shelf before they disappeared. But it is also a great and well known Nunatak. A nunatak is rocky ridges, mountain peaks uncovered with just ice and snow. It is thought a settlement had begun to appear near here soon after the other explorations had been successful. This means that the Indians had survived but had come out of caves in the mountains and built the settlement for protection. This is one of the oldest and considered areas forbidden to enter.
Marcus thinks we will find Elizabeth there. I pack my belonging. Foot wear, bag and gear. And I am ready. My guide a hairy burly Eskimo named Marcus John and says his two brothers are American named Wilbur and Font. They are expensive guides. They have the best knowledge of history and the territory we will enter. I arranged to pay half before we left. Half after we return. And bonus if we find the tribe or remains of a tribe. I promised just as much if we bring back Elizabeth.
I chartered a plane. I thought they invited me to use dogs and sleds when we planned out the exploration. But dog sled was not necessary. We have requisitioned ourselves a Snowcat from the Pacific Crest company. A snowcat travels on top of snow much like a skidoo only it is as big as a tank and has two rubber tracks which spin over the snow.
We flew in a small plane chartered to land in the north of the Rockies. Over the Rockies we had a rain storm and we heard the plane being struck by hail.
Nothing happened once we landed. We took a small amount of supplies and trailer and the snowcat. Entering on the steady grounds were flat but rocky of the nunatak flatter land with our snowcat and it being autumnal September we forged entering wherewithal the settlement. A hundred and more of years old. It is believed first built by those slaves surviving in 1715. It was old.
It was also unknown and not in any history book. I learned it was not usually spoken of and completely forgotten. Just how had Elizabeth heard of this settlement that had not been given a name I did not know? It has been secretly hidden for three hundred years why had she come here?
I wondered how old the original people had been and if they were from those legendary tribes people from slavery. At that time it was reasonably they would have known to survive and have trades to build. The original wood buildings looked one or two hundred years old. Well, they were definitely 1700ish in style, but still they were that primitive.
But it was also barren. No people were here any longer. It was obvious.
We saw some modern transportation up further near a hill. Out of sight from this old settlement were some newer building in an outcrop and looked alighted. I was happy to find civilization, at least remnants of one.
Marcus warned me it could be hostile and wanted us to walk the rest of the way. So as not to surprise them but also to leave our snowcat far enough away to run back to it if need be.
We walked the rest of the way. I waited then knocked heavily on a door. It was the largest of the houses so I assumed its chief or family if that was right.
A native answered and I had become shook. It was a South American native. And they spoke Eskimo and asked Marcus and his brothers to come in to warm.
Elizabeth had indeed been there. She was well known in this little settlement. But it would surprise me to learn the entire story and whether she had been indeed safe with this legend tribes people.
I met a man near my age named Baron von Bastion. He it was who led the original expedition. He who it was who first learned about black magic from his tribes people and once they entered this little place his men tried to stop von Bastion’s expedition going any further. They were off the map a great deal and they wanted to return.
They had struggled and fought. Von Bastion had murdered his own men and the ones escaped returned but said that the cold had claimed the others and they breathed not a word, not caring whether von Bastion was ever found.
That night the tribes people continued the expedition finding this place where an Eskimo tribe had been. They had never seen a white man and you know the rest. They worshipped him as a god. But the tribes people tried to make it true and had cast spells on von Bastion to make him the god the Eskimo wanted. Something happened that made him to no longer age.
Elizabeth had come to paint the story and the portrait of von Bastion who has been a captive since he met the Eskimo. He believed the Eskimo may have had the power. The tribes people thought maybe it was a mix of their own powers. But von Bastion never has tried to leave.

The End

Name: The Great Artist
Words: 1600
Genre: Fiction
By: Arthur
Notes: Um…it’s a big country. Elizabeth disappears and her husband is determined to look after her even if he has to travel across the country.
** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * **

The Great Artist

Elizabeth Mukluk had vanished. Disappeared. Dropped out of existence.
I had three of her works. Well four. Three rated excellence of Canadian standards. Excellence in the world. Three finished oils framed hanging in my personal gallery, my living-room. Giving her credit for the fourth would mean her visit and her finishing it. Something I fear is if she becomes reclusive it may have to wait too long to appreciate. Or it may become lost. It is my portrait.
My luggage bags are packed in my car. I have assorted my schedule to take two weeks, maybe more to locate Elizabeth. I’ve drawn several maps. Several I took from my/our journals and papers and books. My paper work have heavily stacked against the walls added color but with work as rare but important I had seen litters of books and papers piling for years. I barely can escape. I closed the door behind me.
For a week I have gone to popular haunts. No such luck of finding anyone who has seen Elizabeth. With only rumors I learn she had gone into a rural community thought mythic in the mountains in Canada I fly to British Columbia. Once there I seek people who may have known her in Vancouver and it appears she had been here for months. I can not find her here. She has learned of many things of those mythic peoples in Canada and has left.
I feel as though I can follow her. Even through mountains. I feel captive in Vancouver. I can not follow her without a guide. Without someone to share with me this information of where she has really gone I will be left lost. If these mythic people existed. I had to know where.
To begin with I learned little. Then there were so many loyal mouths that had not trusted me either. I had to bribe someone.
Drinking a man into a stupor and adding a lengthy check I learn of where Elizabeth had learned of a community of tribes people she intends to find.
I had never heard of those people. And it was hinted that they had come over in an early expedition as slaves and were used as slaves during an Inuit expedition. Inuit is the modern word for Eskimo. So in the story they have been a group of unlucky Indians from the south in America before the wars that had been captured then brought up to Canada to help explore the more northern arctic.

bears

Like it

I posted the poll to choose the story most liked in this post. http://www.goodreads.com/poll/show/80...

I opps a bad line or two writing way to fast. I thought up the story all week...basing it on my daughter and her drama class!! I then wrote the first paragraph..theme someone is lost... then took a two hour break then took an hour to write the rest then blindly posted it. I noticed there is a really bad line in one convo ...""Look we have to work to do, and see what the other group play is.” Is all she cared about really, standing there ..."
I need to rewrite this someday!!

That floating tab says Links - Books is that where we get our favorite words displayed upon request?

hmm ok

Maybe we can begin the contest vote tomorrow instead. Thanks for your story...I love that story Olivia. You certainly got my attention with it.

There WILL NOT be a voter’s poll for favorite Short Story Contest for this post. There was one posted story. Least one more will be needed, if entered by Sunday there will be a contest.


Monday - Jan. 26 will begin a new contest topic. Thanks everyone with your story ideas. Please remember to post new topic ideas for short story contests… http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/6...

thank you Chandani with such encouargement. I loved this story, I think...well...did you think...the antagonist character just creepy?

monolith wrote: "ooootay zen. 'ave flun."

“Just stay put Jessica. I’ll be back!”
Kim went to the back door. Here it was glass entrances. A kind of back door from a small delivery and customer parking lot behind the mall. “It is him, I think!” she yelled aloud. Then went out. The person had seen her but did not recognize her at all. He started the truck. One thing went through her mind was why was a teenager driving a big delivery truck? Even if it wasn’t Mathew, this person was too small to have a job.
He began to pull the truck away when Jessica stepped out and saw him too. She grabbed Kim out of the way of the truck and made Kim run back into the mall to her car which had been on the other side near the theatre.
“That was Mathew. Why did they fake his death to get him to drive a truck?”
“I don’t know. I think it looked like Mathew. It was strange. But maybe it wasn’t. What do you think?” Kim was scared.
“I don’t get it!” Jessica shouts unlocking her car.
They found the truck waiting for traffic to get onto the street. It pulled away. They followed the truck.
The truck drove out of town, past Mathew’s house and stopped near the snow removal company’s site. There were no police or anything. The apparition stepped out of the truck and had opened the door and people came out and began filling it with the salt.
From there the trucks left and they followed them down to the river where men in suits, seem in trances, some in police uniform began dumping the trucks of salt into the water to dissolve.
Jessica was too drowsy to drive any longer. There was a bigger mystery happening now that people were organized and doing strange work for a teenage boy that looked like Mathew.
“Let’s go. I’m not feeling well.” Jessica said. “I feel weirder and weirder.”
“Get home then. Drop me off at my grandparent’s house to call Donny.”
They stopped. Her grandfather had been home. The two went in, but as they entered they felt better. Jessica began feeling like herself suddenly. Kim had noticed her thoughts clear. It was unexpected what was happening but Kim was thinking about the salt.
“Grandfather? Did you know the snow removal company you work for found a boy buried in a pile of salt this morning dead. I knew him at school.”
“No.”
“And he was moving all the salt with a dozen trucks and dumped it in the river.”
After telling the story all she knew updating her grandfather he became worried beyond belief with strange happenings in the little town he lived in and helped raise Kim. On the phone to talk to people he worked with he found numbers were out of service, numbers with none answering, and the boss owner would not come to the phone. The snow removal company had been a twenty-four hour hot service and usually it was easy to get someone. But not now. Oh the mystery.
In an hour Kim had collected herself and Jessica and she had not yet returned to school. She threw all of her things back into the car beside Jessica who gave her a wandering eye stare. Had the things they spoke about in Kim’s grandfather’s house been true? Kim was usually so strong willed and clever but she never considered Kim before taking charge. Jessica felt calmer and relieved since being to the house again.
She tried calling her mother but received no answer. That kind of thing was strange that Jessica partly decided the same strange thing was happening to her family as was happening to other people. Something had been taking control of them and causing them to do strange things. Speak strange things. Act strangely but together the strangers were agreeing about the things they did. They were in groups outside the grocery store talking. There was a group every few blocks who looked fixedly at anyone that went by.
The police car was empty. A truck had its doors left open and empty. Stores looked empty. Where was everyone going? Then Jessica saw the apparition which looked like Mathew again. They followed him to the Back Pond where people often went with school children to see wild life in the spring. This place would be bare of people during this season though, though now it had crowds of people. Mathew’s apparition leaped out of the truck greeting people of his kind with suggestions and clicking chatter. They responded to him allowing his passing. They were in droves. He stood in front of them as if they were worshipping him.
Kim stepped out and so did Jessica. Immediately Jessica was succumbing to suggestions and grew too weak to follow Kim. For an instant she fought off the chatter, but it wouldn’t let her pass. Kim was stronger and the people grew afraid. The apparition began to realize Kim had some way countered his control. He stepped out of his group of people he had control of and stood before Kim. “What are you?” He yelled.
“I am not of this world...are you?” She yelled back at the apparition. She felt harangued
“No I suppose I am not. Do you not like my appearance?”
“No! It is Mathew Gaines’s body. Are you in him?” She felt his presence make her grow suddenly even weaker.
“Then you don’t know. No. I am in my own body. I look like this.” He hissed.
Then Mathew was dead. He had been the first going near the salt that morning, the first not to obey, the first needed to be killed. Kim lounged into her bag pulling out the container of salt and threw it into the apparition that began to scream. The body turned a thin airy black and exploded while it gasped for air but managed to mutter “No! How? Salt!”

The End?

Kim stood waiting watching the clock tick past the hour in the drama room when suddenly Jessica left the group of friends going towards Kim with a final look of disgust. Her face was normal and plain in appearance but it was the way she left the others going towards Kim that made her look like she was disgusted. When she reached Kim, Kim had not cared what was really wrong. She had not wanted to be bothered with another drama.
“Don’t go over to them to talk Kim, they’re complete morons today! Duh!?!”
“Oh, for why will I then. Look we have to work to do, and see what the other group play is.” Is all she cared about really, standing there holding her eyes open as if they were way too heavy today. Then she noticed something wearily about Jessica’s eyes too, like her own. Neither had slept the night.
“What is it?” Kim snapped.
“They’re not themselves. It’s nothing! They’re all like weird. Haven’t you noticed the grunge mood of everyone today?”
“No shintz! I have not. Where is everyone anyway? Like Mathew is supposed to be here.”
“I don’t have any idea.”
Just then the teacher looking bewildered entered the room. “Ok, I’m telling all of you to gather round.” He looked at them skeptical with precision and authority. The drama teacher took a small count of heads as they gathered. He gave a grunt when he noticed only two thirds present. “I have a small announcement. It will be on the room intercom shortly anyway, but it will affect us. Mathew Gaines was found in a pile of salt this morning, very dead. I’m sorry.”
Jessica took Kim’s hand and squeezed tightly. It affected the two when they heard bad news. Mathew was dead. He had been a good friend too.
After the lunch bell sending the children to quickly leave school and Jessica and Kim went to the sitting food court in the neighboring mall located cross corner of the school.
“Holy shintz!! What was that all about? Josses Murphy?” She said to Jessica while Jessica had been acting more and more drossy as if she needed to get some sleep.
“Weird. I told you not to go near anyone this morning. Something weird is going on with them all!” Jessica said. “Oh…I don’t feel well either. Maybe it’s bug flu.”
“I don’t want to get sicker.” Kim implied waiting to know if it was.
The play had been moronic. So badly acted very badly, that Kim stepped out of the drama room and to the hall to get away and get air. The drama teacher followed her when the play had finished.
“That was terrible. I have to fail them if they don’t stop this nonsense,” He snapped, suspicious the group was mourning Mathew’s death, or just meaning a spoof joking with the class but carrying it too far anyway. But the student’s in the group denied both allegations but wouldn’t act, and seemed in weird mood trances. They were angry and snotty about getting a bad grade.
The drama teacher had been in a bad mood when learning Mathew was found dead buried in a pile of salt used for salting roads. Living next door to the snow removal company had lead to wonder if he had been playing and stepped under an unloading truck. But the police suspected fowl play. Obviously there was no real evidence for anything concrete yet.
Kim and Jessica didn’t know about the evidence. Kim was thinking about kids in her drama and whether she wanted to return to school at all. Jessica looked and looked pinker by the minute. Then Kim looked away and startled Jessica with something she just saw. “Was that Mathew?”
“Yes, Kim…Mathew.”
“No I mean just now?”
“Yes…dead!” Jessica said not anything but dreaming going to sleep.
“No….No….No!” Kim snapped. “I just saw him getting into that truck!” She pointed to a truck. Jessica whirled around to study the truck. Jessica said she couldn’t see that far anymore.
“Let’s go and see!” Kim ordered. Jessica without her wit said she was too tired for moving and needed her energy just to drive home.

name: salt pillar
name: Arthur
genre: fiction
note: I wrote this!! This may be fiction; even many of the characters may be based on real people but in a fiction play!! I have not attempted to get permission, but I am of no opinion and this does not suggest anything of any type of any kind!!!

** * ** * ** * ** * ** * **

Salt Pillar

Poor Mathew Gaines had woken up before he would usually be ready for school waiting for the incoming bus to the city school. He actually heard a house shaking thump just outside his window that woke him. Hearing that no one else heard it too he first refused to get up. It was two hours before his clock alarm. He had to put out trash though for his dad and coming back in decided on a quiet solo breakfast in the living-room with the TV on sounded right. He stretched, got up dressed and ventured on out with kitchen trash. He looked for the source of noise. He saw nothing. Then remembered they just moved here to Boomerang Ville and lived next door to the noisy road snow clearing and snow salting company. He scoffed his nosiness and looked over at someone looming near by, startled he said hello, but began to wandered towards the apparition in curiosity far off his property and was now out on the road.

Kim had halted in the hall. She was beseeched with all her responsibilities. Her carry bag gear for school outweighed her. She worried her hat looked like a menace. But she would wait before adjusting it to a comfort zone. She entered the drama class and resisted the plunking down of herself. Others were moving in and out with morning greetings and she looked alone. Mathew hadn’t shown up for school at all. They are in the same first period then drama class. Mathew was no where to be seen.
A few nosy girls leaving the class real slowly gave Kim the once over look she thought was creepy.
Kim looked at the clock. The stragglers coming in today are being rather close to the clock she thought.
With Mathew away who else could she find to video camera the other group having a play?
The teacher had not come in yet. Kim wondered at the class’s silence and if she was acting strange herself.
Friends Sammie, Taylor, and Tyler, especially Jessica was in the corner talking oddly among them self. Kim did not feel the energy to go all the way over to speak to them about their rudeness. Jessica looked startled even though as Kim entered.
She cleared her mind. Yesterday had been her graded performance project, she was to put on a play she had to write, perform and direct. Mathew had been her lead who as a paragon had to be really convincing. He was and it went great.
Last night instead of going home she went to her grandparent’s house and recorded her video cam’s taped play onto their video converting to DVD disk machine, a device she needed to get someday.
Her grandfather, usually cheerful sat with Kim, her grandmother chatted about many construction improvements needed in a play. Jessica listened and laughed and commented the while. She seemed thrilled about her part she plays in the play and having the chance watching it on the TV with Kim that afternoon.
After a few hours Jessica noticed the time and hurried home after for her dinner. Kim waited for her own fiancé to pick Kim up and take her home. He worked in a department store part time but seemed to be working more and more hours.
Outside the weather had been cold but clear. It hadn’t started snowing.
The snow fall the previous night had ceased near midnight when the evening’s worth seemed to have fell. Her grandfather was busy with things he needed to do before he actually went to bed to get some deserved rest, he had been removing snow all day, but looked sulking and tired from being up all night. She noticed he had not given an opinion of her play but smiled when she turned to him with her questioning force.
In fact she sympathized with her grandmother’s complaints that Kim’s grandfather had to be working to many hours. Her grandmother always made the same complaints and was to be taken serious and personally. It had been winter and he had got less sleep when it snowed while he went to work. He should retire, he was from his previous occupation, but he took another job to keep himself busy. She did not like the idea and rationed him his hours he was allowed to work.

I see out a window and am no longer prejudice no more seeing in the dark. But first I dumped paint onto the cat. Just a little on his tail. He jumped so and wagged in a hurry. He didn’t notice save for the noisy thump the paint had made as it hit the floor. He never minded his tail. I grabbed him and washed the paint off the hairs of his tail. He scratched and bit me! Ungrateful cat! I stepped in the paint puddle while reaching him to save him from getting in it more. I could have put him in the wash too!

Four stories, 16 votes!! And the results are in...
the voting this week had the highest amount of voters yet.

Congratulations to each submitting writer.

There is a tie!! ... The winners have five votes each! The winner is Paul and Chandani. Both very good stories and I am looking forward to seeing their stories again posted on Short Story Galore. Links: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
& the free web site: http://shortstorygalore.synthasite.com/

Go to the topic suggestion page and give your own topic suggestions http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/6...

And please go to the topic suggestion page and give your own topic suggestions http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/6...