Ené

“I have this deep sense that I am extremely old. Sometimes, I feel like I can remember being someone I’m not. Places I’ve never been before feel familiar. Foods I’ve never eaten taste like something I’ve tasted before.”
― Emily R. Austin, We Could Be Rats

“I was surprised by some of my feelings when she died. I knew I’d feel devastated, and I did, but there were other feelings I didn’t expect. One thing I really wrestled with was feeling like there was less love in the world for me. When she died, I felt a shift in the universe. It was more than her absence. I felt the cosmic void where her love for me used to be, like an empty stomach after puking. On top of feeling shattered by her absence, I felt less important with her gone, and also guilty for feeling that way. I wasn’t just mourning her life. I was mourning her love for me. When she died, I felt selfishly less important, and every time I lose someone, I’ll have less purpose. I will degrade in value the longer I live, until there is no point to me.”
― Emily R. Austin, We Could Be Rats

“I think one of the benefits of growing up with a sibling is having a witness. It’s nice to have someone to cross-reference your childhood with.”
― Emily R. Austin, We Could Be Rats

“I decided that deep down we’re all who we were when we were kids. I think being a teenager is about hiding all your quirks and contorting yourself to fit in and impress people, and being an adult is about re-finding who you were when you were eight years old.”
― Emily R. Austin, We Could Be Rats