Marc’s answer to “Why did Oliver get married? Wasn't he still in love with Elio?” > Likes and Comments

I like this explanation, I guess we won't have the story if Elio not being Elio. Oliver though is also to blame, because he's just the same as Elio, evidence of all those nights sits by the beach and his conversations with Vimini. They are so similar as each other, and passively wait for the other person to make their moves or given hints that the other person wouldn't be able to guess (the shoulder rubbing). One day or another once other circumstances taking place, for him getting married is not a surprise.

If one of them is more direct, then we would have a completely different story.

That's an important point. And think about if Vimini had never told Elio how much Oliver liked him. The rage Elio felt at that point, failure to be more direct cost them precious time.

Well, I just finished listening to the audiobook a 2nd time and by now I see how Oliver may have hoped for Elio to mature and to make up his mind. "Grow up!" When Oliver came back during Christmas break he phrased it to Elio that he might be getting married. He might be. If only Elio had put up a fight. But Elio was Elio. Perhaps they both knew that life gave them few options. But by now I see how deeply Oliver loved Elio from the beginning, and through the years. If only Elio had taken better advantage of that. But yeah, Elio was Elio, and the world was the way it was. And really they knew each other only 6 weeks.