Matthewkyle130yahoo.Co.Uk’s answer to “Why do people think that the life of stevens was a waste ? Yes he does indeed have some regret but …” > Likes and Comments

there is indeed much to admire and like about Stevens, Matthew. That's a common reaction to those who make self sacrifices. That's what makes the novel so good. Do you think he would have felt more or less fulfilled if he had married Miss Kenton, had a family etc etc? Did it have to be one way or the other? I'd love to hear the opinion of a modern day butler (i presume there still are some)

Hi Huck. Yes it would be interesting to actually talk to someone like Stevens, or who at least shares many of his views about dignity, class, the British, etc. I think that if he had sacrificed his goal of becoming the "universal English butler" and had pursued Mrs Kenton he would've lost something of himself, but would've gained something as well. He gained a more "relatable" form of happiness (one of closeness, comfort and domesticity) but would've lost everything that was abstract, ancient and timeless about himself. Ultimately, neither is perfect but I respect Stevens as a character for his choices in life.

I'm not sure he wouldn't have been a more fully rounded and fulfilled character had he married miss kenton, had a family etc and, of course, in some virtual reality, perhaps he did, although he was already approaching middle age. There's no reason why he couldn't have been a butler and husband/father. He justifies his sacrifice and celibacy but i think most readers feel regret on his behalf and feel he isn't being entirely honest with himself. It's a profoundly sad novel