In Love with the World: A Monk's Journey March 19 > Likes and Comments

MARCH 19
In Love with the World: A Monk's Journey through the Bardos of Living and Dying by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche (facilitator Nina with possible input from Tracy)

Questions for Reflection on “In Love with the World: A Monk’s Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying” by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche & Helen Tworkov

1. Has there ever been a time in your life, by choice or circumstance, which relates to the desire and hopes of the monk’s choice to set out on a wandering retreat, leaving behind the life he knew, and which was comfortable for something foreign, uncomfortable, and challenging?



2. In Chapter 18, (page 148), Mingyur Rinpoche makes the statement, “In the conventional view, life comes before death, in the wisdom view, ego-grasping death comes before life.” How does this statement resonate with you in your experience and in your faith life?



3. In Chapter 28, (page 220), we read, “Living, dying: two concepts equally distant from this moment. This is who and where I am right now, this being just doing this activity, in this body, making these aspirations. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just trying to fully inhabit the infinite universe of each moment.” How does this speak to struggles or growth that you see in your own lived faith and reality?



4. In the Epilogue, (page 245), it reads, The biggest challenge to accepting the constancy of death and rebirth lies with our resistance to impermanence, and our hopeless attempts to hold in place what inherently changes.” Do you find that this statement is true to your experiences of life, death, and rebirth?

I've had a question of my own which has preoccupied me reading this book, related to the primary focus of the author:

What identifications - objects, roles, self-definitions, personal connections - do you have that you can't imagine relinquishing? Who would you be without some of those key facets of your identity?

Processing this question now online, in writing....

For me (culturally and ethnically Jewish, but spiritually a Tibetan buddhist, with a touch of Sufism and a gnostic conception of God), the issue of letting go of identifications is the central focus of the book and an issue I’ve had for many years. I throw myself so deeply into what I do and my relating……it is so difficult to imagine myself without it.

I think of my aunt Evelyn, a nationally known pianist, who lost four fingers in an accident, and had to let go not only of her identification as a pianist, but also her ability to play the piano, the love of her life. She committed suicide a few years later.

(And likewise, a past chiropractor who developed a disease in which he lost control of his hands, the year after his wife died, leaving him with three young children to raise on his own and no more employment).

I think of my immigrant neighbor, who salvaged everything of great importance to her from her war-torn country, only to have her condo burn down a year later and be left with nothing except the clothes on her back.

I think of President Biden, who not only had to let go of his lifelong identification as a political leader, but also his reliance on clarity of mind and communication skills.

And myself, suffering from the rare degenerative illness that killed my father, constantly aware of the decrease in my memory and physical coordination and limitations on my ability to work, which I have to do and want to do, and how that limits my living up to the standards of excellence and reliablity which have so contributed to integrity and self-worth.

Although I have only been a sporadic meditator the last fifty years, meditating on and chanting a Tibetan or Hindu mantra, I often retain considerable awareness of what I call the “passing of clouds” – the passing of thoughts and feelings in my consciousness.

And I’ve found in recent years that in many ways I live in the “spaces between” – that pure awareness of blue sky consciousness upon which the clouds pass. I am hooked on that. Some might call it “spacing out,” and sometimes it is, but being in that state of pure awareness is so incredibly fulfilling.

(Admittedly, I do have to take a very high dose of liquid gabapentin daily, which is very calming, and that may contribute more to my occasional peace of mind than any practices I do)

But just as I can observe my thoughts and feelings and sensations from a distance, I can also completely lose myself in feelings and thoughts and even moreso, activities that totally absorb me – and in fact, I am hooked on the latter too. And spend most of my time in a state of absorption.

Who am I if not a teacher? If not a writer? If not a reader? If not committed to tapping into my sources of inspiration and expressing that, and facilitating it in others? Who am I if not participating in the mutual reciprocity of friendship, or participating actively in online groups?

Who would I be if totally disabled, my life entirely dependent not only on unreliable medicaid (which it is now) but also a nursing homes? I can not bear to think of the latter.

I can’t bear to think of no longer being able to contribute, of only being in need – particularly when receiving so little assistance - with unreliable or absent caregivers.

I CAN imagine myself apart from my body, which is primarily a source of pain these days, but cannot imagine myself apart from my own sense of purpose or the activities and friendships that give my life meaning. And yet eventually, I must let go of all of this……We must all let go.

Even giving away books, which have felt like they’ve been a part of me, can feel like an amputation, because I so project myself into books which have so absorbed me.

How much easier to contemplate letting go of it all at once and ascending to the next state of consciousness, rather than letting go of it slowly, bit by bit, while still alive.

It probably makes a lot of difference to not be alone in one’s letting go, to feel connected to loved ones, to community. But eventually, all that will go too, unless somehow or other we carry the essence of those experiences into the next plane, into our next lives.
______________

I just paused what I was writing to write a tanka - 5 lines of 5-7-5-7-7 syllables:

REINCARNATION TANKA by Tracy
If only we’d start
our lives with the wisdom gained
from our past lifetimes
rather than lose all we gained
and next life, begin again.
_________________

And indeed, in this life, being in touch with our own essence, and the essence of our relationship to God, can help sustain us. The forms will dissolve, but the essence will, I believe, remain.

But how can we keep from being overcome by physical and emotional pain? It takes a lifetime of practice and commitment to have the onepointedness of Mingyur Rinpoche. And we are all so human, and many of us, broken as well.

For now, I have no desire to let go of most of my identifications ......not yet anyway. There are still joys to embrace, people to love, books to read, and of course, meaningful groups in which to participate…