Do books ever make your family jealous? > Likes and Comments

Not in a dramatic sense — but in the quiet, everyday one.
Whether you write or read, books take time. And time is the one thing that always seems to belong to someone else first: family, work, responsibilities, children, obligations. Many of us read professionally as well — articles, reports, manuals — and yet, we still return to books that have nothing to do with duty.
Why?
Because books are not just another activity. They are often another life. Not an escape from reality, but a parallel space where something essential can breathe.
If that space is neglected for too long, it doesn’t disappear — it turns into quiet frustration. And sometimes, unfairly, that frustration looks for a target. Not because of others, but because something vital inside us has been postponed for too long.
Perhaps this is why books demand time not “when everything else is done,” but within ordinary life. The perfect moment may never come. And if it does, it may already be too late.
So I’m curious —
do books ever create tension in your life?
And if so, how do you protect that inner space without hurting the people you love?

That’s an excellent question, Vasyl, and one that creates tension in me almost every day. As a result of nature and nurture – both mine and that of others – my time often does seem primarily to belong to obligations; family, work, and household responsibilities.
I have an existential need for an inner space, though, and in order to protect that inner space without hurting the feelings of others, I have recognized that it must be accessed only when nobody else is around. I get up at around five o’clock in the morning, and write until I have to prepare for work. This is not a hardship, though, I love the solitude of early mornings.
Reading for pleasure is also something I will only do if there is no expectation of being disturbed because, mystifyingly, reading a book seems to be perceived by many as an open invitation to conversation, even a cry for attention; why would you read a book when there is someone around to talk to?
So, yes, books have to jostle for their share of my time, but that share is consigned not to ‘when everything else is done,’ rather than to when nobody else is around. Of course, this leads to a lot of not-so-quiet frustration, and I often find myself sleepwalking through my obligations while my mind is half in the other life of a book.
I have noticed, though, that this tension – being pulled away from absolute absorption in my writing – often serves to improve my work, because stepping back from it offers a different perspective, and events, words or people I encounter can filter into, and enrich, the plot, dialogue or characters. Also, I question how healthy it would be if I didn’t have obligations to confine my wanderings in that parallel space. When I imagine a life where there are no demands on my time… well, the image is sterile.
Life confronts us with conflict and compromise, whether large or small, and much as I sometimes fantasize about unlimited me-time, I have to acknowledge that conflict and compromise are an unavoidable and vital element of life and art. If humans were vessels made of clay (to borrow an age-old allegory) then obligations are the firing process that makes us fit for purpose.

Nicola wrote: "That’s an excellent question, Vasyl, and one that creates tension in me almost every day. As a result of nature and nurture – both mine and that of others – my time often does seem primarily to bel..."

Hi Nicola :)

Your words are never ending lines of wisdom :))

Yes to best writing when everyone is asleep... and " life away from writing" deepening the perspectives/offering different ones.. and " fired vessels", too :)

I am always surprised when someone who "lived very little life" claims to be able to offer plenty of wisdom :)

And also, I've been discovering, that having various " deep conversations" with fellow writers and readers-here, on GR, often offers some unexpected and delightful insights :))... that you didn't even know your book needed :)

Jasmine

Thank you for this — both of you.
What really resonates with me is the idea that tension isn’t the enemy, but the price of caring.
Maybe books don’t compete with family or life — they reveal where balance is fragile and needs attention.
I don’t think the goal is protecting time perfectly, but staying honest about what quietly withers when we don’t protect any inner space at all.

And how about this angle- being a writer is such a spiritual exercise, it ultimately makes us into better people and our family will be the first ones to benefit- they should be grateful, not jealous!! :)

My boyfriend would go off on one if I picked up a book. He went, the books stayed.

Emma wrote: "My boyfriend would go off on one if I picked up a book. He went, the books stayed."

Hi Emma :)

Thank you for sharing- I wish you a fantastic, book-loving boyfriend :)

Jasmine

Vasyl wrote: "Thank you for this — both of you.
What really resonates with me is the idea that tension isn’t the enemy, but the price of caring.
Maybe books don’t compete with family or life — they reveal where ..."

As a first time reluctant author of a memoir, in which I had been a ghost of the family for over 50 years. I found a mix of reactions from family. Some were proud, some were sceptical of the story, others seemed to not care either way. But now the memoir has been published, most have accepted the idea that the memoir was a form of therapy for me and an insight to my world as I lived it, warts and all.

My wife used to moan at me when I had my nose in a book. She said it was anti-social. So, I started to read aloud to her, then we could share the story together. Nowadays, when I read to her, she falls asleep and I can read in peace!