Ulysse’s review of Horoscopes for the Dead > Likes and Comments

There's no way you're Billy Collin's' shade
But he sounds a lot like John Shade
John of the old orange bathrobe Shade?
John of the moon's pale fire Shade?
Remember him?

Fionnuala wrote: "There's no way you're Billy Collin's' shade
But he sounds a lot like John Shade
John of the old orange bathrobe Shade?
John of the moon's pale fire Shade?
Remember him?"

The difference is that Billy Collins is no fictional character, let alone one sprung from the brain of Nabokov. He's real all right. So real, in fact, that were he to read this caricature of himself he might get offended or upset. Mr Collins, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. You're a very good poet. You deserve the success you've had and there's nothing wrong with writing poetry wearing a bathrobe and slippers. I myself have composed quite a few accoutred in like manner.

Venemous!

A three-star condemnation. Well played. the kind of thing a Nabokov character might do. Zero stars lacks class. Middle of the road is a kind of manslaughter. Touche.

I was in a feisty mood yesterday, Nick. I read this book in one sitting and it was quite enjoyable. I mean it was easy to read and all but after the Joseph Roth it felt as thin as…a middle aged head of hair one or two showers away from complete baldness.

Those last two lines are like a knockout. Clean and hit the mark, Ulysse.

Ouch. I feel a bit sorry for Billy Collins.;) Also, this reminded me of the book lingering in my TBR: "Memoirs Found in a Bathtub" by Stanislaw Lem.:)

Georgia, I’m not a violent guy, but sometimes I like to use famous poets as punching bags.

Don’t feel sorry for Billy Collins, Irena. My punches can only reach him as a light breeze up on Mt Parnassus where he bathes in glory.

I love Billy Collins, but he has been so damned prolific, there are some duds in the bag, to be sure. Personally, as a poet myself, I rejoice when I see poets making money! It is rare indeed. Even after Mary Oliver rose in fame and was selling poetry left and right, she always looked like she was dressed in rags and lived in a hut. So, my guess with Billy Collins is: family money.

Early Billy was good Billy. More recent Billy is for the goats. It's called "cruising on name recognition."

The most annoying thing I ever read about him: He said, whenever he's reading poetry, he STOPS reading if the poet uses the word "cicada" because, in his bald mind, the word is overused.

He himself? He likes to write about mice. And so, when I see the word "mouse" or "mice" in a BC poem, I stop reading in his honor.

Julie wrote: "I love Billy Collins, but he has been so damned prolific, there are some duds in the bag, to be sure. Personally, as a poet myself, I rejoice when I see poets making money! It is rare indeed. Even ..."

I too would much rather see poets make money than AI, Julie. Good for Billy Collins, I says. He's actually a serious practitioner of poetics and a fearsome wordsmith. I guess he just gives off bathrobe vibes. I should ask my shrink what she makes of this bathrobe and slippers aversion of mine.

Ken wrote: "The most annoying thing I ever read about him: He said, whenever he's reading poetry, he STOPS reading if the poet uses the word "cicada" because, in his bald mind, the word is overused."

My goodness, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard coming from a cicada!

You can expect a summons soon from the Bald Persons Anti-Defamation League, pretty boy. Then we'll see who's laughing!

Left Coast Justin wrote: "You can expect a summons soon from the Bald Persons Anti-Defamation League, pretty boy. Then we'll see who's laughing!"

Hey I have nothing against the bald, so long as they don't, on top of being bald, act like annoying dads.

Go to your room, and don't come out until supper's ready.

Left Coast Justin wrote: "Go to your room, and don't come out until supper's ready."

For me you were always in the cool-bald category, Justin, but after that last comment, I'm not so sure anymore...

🤣

I wish more men would realize that there's a world of difference between balding and bald. Mr. Clean is hot! (Comb-overs are not).

Ulysse,
I wonder if it's the "trust-funder" vibes he puts off, versus the robe and slippers? Those feelings can be hard to negotiate and may require a qualified therapist!

Yeah maybe, Julie. Whatever it is I think I’m allergic to the guy. I watched a couple of videos of him talking about poetry and though he had some interesting things to say, I had this irresistible urge to slap him. I really do need to see my shrink. 😉

You and me both, brother. After 4 years of therapy with the same person, I've taken a mental (and financial) break, and after last night's dream, I'm thinking: Wow! I think it's time to find someone new!

Julie wrote: "You and me both, brother. After 4 years of therapy with the same person, I've taken a mental (and financial) break, and after last night's dream, I'm thinking: Wow! I think it's time to find someon..."

Therapy should be free
But Freud would disagree
If you've something to say
First you gotta pay
You have a spouse who hollers?
That'll be eighty dollars