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can you ever really 100% recover from something like this though? I don't think there's a "right time" to write a memoir, and I don't think it has to be cathartic. Lots of rape victims do feel like victims, because they aren't given the sympathy, compassion, and help they deserve. I think Sebold was right to write this memoir as she did., because sometimes you do remain a victim your whole life. And that's just the way it is.
You perceive the correct impression. You never fully recover. There is always disgust, hate and humiliation in being the victim.
I don't think it's possible to be 100% over trauma, at least that is what I have been taught as a counselor and I believe it. I think she is stronger woman and has grown as a person. By putting her experience out there she has released some of the stigma of being a rape victim and has helped others feel that they are not alone in the world.
I don't think it's fair to say someone should wait to write a memoir once they are 100% over it. If that were the case, no memoir would ever be written. I think writing this helped her towards the healing process.
"Writing a memoir like this should be a cathartic experience, a way to end that chapter of a persons life and move on, something she obviously wasn't yet ready to do when she wrote it." I'm sorry? Have you ever read any of her interviews? She said that she had the idea for The Lovely Bones, and when she started writing it, she felt she was putting her own story at Susie's. So she decided to write her own experiences so she could write the book. And she also said that if it was not because of Susie's, maybe she would had never written Lucky. It was an important part of the process of writing The Lovely Bones. And she doesn't have to teach anything to anyone.
I must step in here. As a raper survivor, you are never "over it", it's not about ending the chapter that the event took place, it is more about dealing with the emotions, the misconceptions that exist in our society. I find the fact that she wrote out every graphic detail of her rape to be the work of an extremely strong woman. It isn't easy to see your story in writing, or to have other people read it, and yet that is what she did. I have tremendous respect for her ability to do so. Only someone who has worked on her reactions, feelings as well as those reactions and feelings of others could write such a raw memoir.
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Emily
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Aug 16, 2012 12:08PM
can you ever really 100% recover from something like this though? I don't think there's a "right time" to write a memoir, and I don't think it has to be cathartic. Lots of rape victims do feel like victims, because they aren't given the sympathy, compassion, and help they deserve. I think Sebold was right to write this memoir as she did., because sometimes you do remain a victim your whole life. And that's just the way it is.
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You perceive the correct impression. You never fully recover. There is always disgust, hate and humiliation in being the victim.
I don't think it's possible to be 100% over trauma, at least that is what I have been taught as a counselor and I believe it. I think she is stronger woman and has grown as a person. By putting her experience out there she has released some of the stigma of being a rape victim and has helped others feel that they are not alone in the world.
I don't think it's fair to say someone should wait to write a memoir once they are 100% over it. If that were the case, no memoir would ever be written. I think writing this helped her towards the healing process.
"Writing a memoir like this should be a cathartic experience, a way to end that chapter of a persons life and move on, something she obviously wasn't yet ready to do when she wrote it." I'm sorry? Have you ever read any of her interviews? She said that she had the idea for The Lovely Bones, and when she started writing it, she felt she was putting her own story at Susie's. So she decided to write her own experiences so she could write the book. And she also said that if it was not because of Susie's, maybe she would had never written Lucky. It was an important part of the process of writing The Lovely Bones. And she doesn't have to teach anything to anyone.
I must step in here. As a raper survivor, you are never "over it", it's not about ending the chapter that the event took place, it is more about dealing with the emotions, the misconceptions that exist in our society. I find the fact that she wrote out every graphic detail of her rape to be the work of an extremely strong woman. It isn't easy to see your story in writing, or to have other people read it, and yet that is what she did. I have tremendous respect for her ability to do so. Only someone who has worked on her reactions, feelings as well as those reactions and feelings of others could write such a raw memoir.
