Questions About A Quiet Kind of Thunder

by Sara Barnard (Goodreads Author)

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Answered Questions (6)

It says that the girl in this struggles with selective mutism, do you think it is portrayed well. I'm someone who has struggled with it since I was young and still do, I was just wondering if it was something I should read or will I be disappointed if I do?

Anintriguingspeciman You might have already read this book, so I'll answer for anyone reading this who is undecided.

I'm an adult with selective mutism and I've had a sever…moreYou might have already read this book, so I'll answer for anyone reading this who is undecided.

I'm an adult with selective mutism and I've had a severe form of it for most of my life. I thought the representation of SM was fair. I could tell the author did her research and really tried to portray it well. But I could also tell that she didn't have SM herself and didn't truly understand it. I personally could not relate to the main character. She's a 16-year-old girl with a best friend since childhood. She is also able to talk to a lot of people and even has a job. Then she gets a boyfriend and experiences a lot of firsts with him. I can't relate to any of this and I'm a decade older than her. If I had read this when I was 16, I probably would have felt even more alone and alienated than I did back then. But since I read it now, I could easily distance myself from her. And ironically, that made it easier for me to read this book because it didn't feel so personal. I didn't feel like I was even reading about someone with SM - that's how little I related to the main character.

It irritated me that the author never showed writing as a legitimate way to communicate. Steffi, her parents and her therapist all put so much emphasis on talking being the solution. It was really difficult to read about a girl who was so ashamed of having SM while everyone around her (though well-meaning and supportive) just reinforced that she wasn't enough if she didn't talk. That's why I appreciated the Deaf representation. Because that allowed Steffi to see, if only momentarily, that there were other ways to communicate besides talking.

One major flaw is that Steffi never seems to feel any anxiety or insecurity about kissing, making out, engaging in foreplay, or even having sex. At the beginning of the book, she shows no interest when her friend starts talking about boys and kissing. But when she suddenly develops a crush on a boy and has her first kiss, she is completely into it. She never showcases any anxiety or insecurity but simply gets excited every single time she is physically intimate with her boyfriend. Even in other media about teens, including those where the main character doesn't have an anxiety disorder, they show anxiety and insecurity about dating, kissing, and sex. So it seems unrealistic that a girl with severe social anxiety and SM does not show any of this anxiety.

I felt like the author didn't know how to realistically portray Steffi's anxiety without making her come across as weak. So she had to portray Steffi as being an empowered feminist who grows more and more independent by the end of the book. But it comes across as if portraying SM realistically, with all of the painful and ugly experiences it entails, would be seen as weak and pitiable. Because muteness has always been portrayed as pitiable, if it's portrayed at all. But the only way to combat the misconceptions that is to share the honest, raw and ugly truth - to portray our experiences exactly as they are instead of being ashamed of them. But the author doesn't do this. And unfortunately, I haven't seen a portrayal of SM that does this.(less)

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Is this like cheesy romance? Do the two characters actual grow in their relationship? Also is their anything sexual beside kissing?

Jinger Lowe Some of it is cheesy, in the way that all contemporary is, to some extent, cheesy. It is not unbelievable, however. The two characters do grow their r…moreSome of it is cheesy, in the way that all contemporary is, to some extent, cheesy. It is not unbelievable, however. The two characters do grow their relationship, it’s not instant, and yes there is more than just kissing. Foreplay and sex happens in the book between the two characters. Hope this helps!(less)

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Is this book appropriate for a twelve-year-old? Is anything TOO mature to handle for that age?

iris it depends on what you classify as "appropriate" but it does occasionally have intimacy. at first it's just kissing then there's one scene where they …moreit depends on what you classify as "appropriate" but it does occasionally have intimacy. at first it's just kissing then there's one scene where they get close to sex and touch intimate parts and then one more scene in the second half where they have sex(less)

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Does anyone have any suggestions on books with a character with an anxiety disorder? Thx