Sometimes, What We Hear Being Said is Not What Actually is Being Said

If I sensed that my late wife, Elaine, was upset or angry and asked what was bothering her, she would sometimes reply, "Nothing!" While she was working on some project, like organizing a party or addressing Christmas cards, I would ask if she would like me to help. She would occasionally answer, "No, not necessary." After an especially stressful week at work, I would ask if whe she would mind if we stayed home Friday night, instead of hanging out with our with friends as we usually did. Elaine, a stay-at-home mom with four children to care for, would respond, "Of course not. You just relax."

People, for whatever reason, may occasionally say the opposite of whatever message they intend to send. Referencing the examples presented in the previous paragraph, allow me to reveal what my wife was really saying. It took a couple of years for me to develop this skill, but eventually I did catch on.

"Of course something is bothering me. You shouldn't have to ask, you should know!"
"It's your party too!" or "These cards are going to our friends and relatives. You should help."
"Do you think that you're the only one who had a difficult week at work? I need some time away from my workplace too!"

Speaking the same language does not always guarantee that what a person is saying will be interpreted correctly by the listener. Tone of voice and body language trumps a literal translation every time! Those who choose to ignore that fact, do so at their own peril.