Irresolute

Beast: I want to do something for her, but what?

Cogsworth: Well, there's the usual things: flowers... chocolates... promises you don't intend to keep...

I've never been an Ebeneezer Scrooge about Christmas, but man, this year I am about... well... the New Year. I see entry after entry of resolutions for 2011, and I wish I could muster the same amount of vigor and enthusiasm and good intentions.

Instead, all I muster is a "bah" and a "humbug" uttered with Code Red Level Curmudgeonness.

See, I just finished hosting the holiday at my house, with two small children and the various family members in attendance. I sent gifts via email and mail. I decked the halls, trimmed the tree, wassailed, and all the other things expected of me. For the most part, I enjoyed it. But the sense of obligation that I feel pressing down upon me grows heavier every year, and I don't like the feeling of relief I experienced this morning when everyone who should have been out of the house was indeed departed, TinyDoom! was down for a nap, and it was just me, a cup of coffee, and some vanilla wafer cookies.

And I didn't want to complicate my utter sense of "aaaaah" with any "AAAAAAAH" or "EEP!" or "OMG!" Regardless of any resolutions made, there will be laundry done and meals cooked and writing accomplished, all with varying amounts of cheerfulness. I would like to exercise more and eat healthier, just like every other person on the planet, and yet I refuse to promise you that I will do so.

And yet...

By golly...

I feel left out just enough to evoke images of Charlie Bucket with his little nose pressed against the sweet store window, and so...

I hereby resolve to eat better and more dessert.  :)