The trouble with being a dog person

The trouble with being a dog person is that the dividing line I had between people and dogs has become a little blurred.
I constantly talk to my dogs as if they were people and I am starting to worry I’m using the same tone with my work colleagues. Like, when one of my colleagues does something good,
I say, ‘Well done,’ a little to enthusiastically, and immediately start rummaging through my pockets looking for a reward or treat to give them, only having to stop myself just before I hand over a humbug or a button or whatever else comes to hand.
And when I am out walking the dogs and come across a new dog, I always stop and talk to it, as if they can understand what I’m saying and nod and smile at the dog, a bit like those old ladies do, when they come across a baby in a buggy.
‘Hello there, aren’t you beautiful? What a lovely waggy tail.’
Sometimes I get so carried away with the doggy conversations, that I forget to address the owner at all.
On my walk this morning I met a darling dog I had fussed before, but today it just marched past me, not even glancing in my direction.
‘Say hello then!’ I shouted after it;
‘Hello,’ said the owner meekly.
Other than for my need of these constant doggy conversations, the main problem I’m having at the moment, is that one my dogs, is on a diet, and I hate to throw food away; so have been eating it.
I was telling my daughter that I had put on 7lbs.
‘7lb’s!’ She said. ‘Oh my God, that’s the same weight as a baby, you have put on a whole baby!’
I had not thought of it like that. But at least, I comforted myself with the thought; I am not a completely mad doggy person. I have heard that some people spend thousands on designer dog clothes and collars.
I don’t dress my dogs up! Except at Christmas and Halloween, but that does not count.
As most of my clothes are from charity shops I don’t feel able to splash out a lot on the dogs and anyway I am not sure they would appreciate designer labels; plus it takes an endless stream of doggy treats just to get them to keep their antlers on at Christmas time, and when I left them unattended with the snowman hat, they ripped it to shreds between them.
In truth, being a dog person is deeply much more worrying, as I am beginning to fear that I like dogs much better that boyfriends, and I am worried that I will end up like one of those sad cases, where a single woman is found weeks later dead in her flat, half eaten by her cats!

jane :)