The Year of Epic Failure

In 2014, I had one BIG goal.

It seemed unattainable but I typically laugh in the face of opposition and latched on to this huge goal, hell bent on achieving it.  When people tell me I can’t do something, my stubborn ass thinks that I can.  But guess what?  This time they were right…

I failed.

In February of this year, I published my first book, Broken.  And a month later, I published my second book, Wrong.  So, when I published my third book, Scarred, a month after my second one…I had a brilliant idea.

This idea was so wild that, honestly, I wondered if it were even possible.  It didn’t stop me from trying though.

But, like I said, I failed.

I’ve always been a bit of an overachiever and extremely competitive.  But typically, unless we’re playing Monopoly or Scrabble, my competitiveness is with myself.  I love busting my own records and beating my own scores.  I’m a total nerd like that.

So, after that third book, my goal was to publish TWELVE books by year end.

Yes, you heard me…TWELVE.

Since my goal was ridiculously far out there, I only chose to share that goal with a few close people and of course my editor and formatter because they had to be booked in advance.  I knew I might be criticized for slinging shit at the wall and hoping that it stuck.  Not the case.

Instead, I busted my ass.  I spent sometimes twenty hours a day in front of my computer pounding away on story after story.  Since I was self-publishing each and every one of them, that also meant every free second that I wasn’t writing these stories, I was spending my time on marketing.  Additionally, I was very adamant on creating my own teasers and book covers which sometimes took up my entire day.

Needless to say, for a solid year, I spent an incredibly unhealthy amount of time in front of my computer.  I also spent a great deal of money.  All for one goal…

Twelve books.

As time went along, the pressure of my self-imposed deadlines began to get to me.  My writing that was for fun became, a few times along the way, extremely stressful.  All sorts of things in my life suffered, including my health.  Evidently, spending so much time in front of your computer is bad for your back.  Who knew?

By the time 2014 started coming to an end, I realized something.  I wasn’t going to make my goal.  All of the hard work seemed futile because the number I wanted wasn’t there.  It was time to stand there with my chin held high and face the facts.

I failed.

I published ELEVEN novels.  Not TWELVE.  ELEVEN.  For a goal oriented, overachieving woman like myself, this was such a bummer.

But.  There’s always a “but”.  I may have failed on this one HUGE goal, but what I accomplished in the process was MASSIVE.

A short story of mine called The Devil’s Man was published in an anthology called Shade of Fear in February as was my first book, Broken.  In March, I published my second book, Wrong.  April, I was part of the Southern Seduction anthology and published Scarred, book three.   May was when I published Apartment 2B, book four, and June was Rock Country, book five.  I also was lucky enough to be a part of the anthology, Alphas on Top, with five other amazing authors in May as well. Then, I published book six, Love and Law in July.  August was Rock Heart, book seven.  In September came book eight, Moth to a Flame.  October brought on the ninth book, Rock Bottom.  Then, in November, along came Mistake.  Finally, in December, my co-written book with Elle Christensen, Erased was published.

I kept my editor and formatter very busy.

Even though I hadn’t quite made my goal, I was still proud of what I’d managed to do.  Not only had I been able to publish all of those stories, I also attended my first book signing in August.  People actually came to my table and wanted signed books by me.  It was surreal.  Additionally, I was invited to several more book signings for next year—some with my absolute favorite authors I’ve ever read.  I was completely amazed.

I also met some pretty fabulous people along the way.  Readers, bloggers, and authors all became my friends.  The big ‘ol book world suddenly became smaller and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, even though I may have fallen short, just shy of the finish line, I feel as though I jumped enough hurdles to earn my own special medal.

Eleven is a good number.

It’s like being number one…twice.

I think I might high-five myself.

So thank you to all of those that supported me along the way…my husband, my family, my readers, and my friends.  You all are awesome and I couldn’t have made it this far without you.

I wonder what my goal for 2015 will be…maybe I’ll win a pie eating contest.  I do love pie…