Bad grammar

Readers have certainly read books, especially indie books, with the misuse of words and spelling and grammar issues. I often hear readers chastise the author for these errors. People will leave ranting reviews, verbally abusing the author, because of this. They leave Facebook posts and tell you never to write again.

You would almost imagine these people didn't make a typo in that Facebook post, or that review. You would almost imagine these people always used correct grammar and spelling in everything they did, from work emails to notes. You would almost imagine their perfect use of the written word is what makes them so incredibly angry.

So let's break it down. Just because you can write a story, doesn't mean you are an expert in all things words. In fact, if authors were an expert in all things words, and if they could spot issues within their huge body of ideas and story, a huge army of editors would lose their jobs.

I should just take a moment to point out that I can't spell. Like...at all. When I wrote essays for school as a test, I had to dumb-down my vocabulary because I couldn't spell the larger words I knew. Apparently this is because of a deficiency when I was younger and learning to talk, but regardless, I am not even a weak speller--I just totally suck. And guess what, I maintained above a 4.0 throughout school (straight A's and honors classes). I'm no dummy, but spelling ain't my  bag, baby.

Plus, I went to school for business. I don't have a literature degree. I didn't sit with a bunch of linguistically intelligent people and discuss our love of punctuation. I was busy crunching numbers in my math class, or looking at peramids in art history (that is how I spelled pyramid-- I did not change it so you can see what words sound like in my head before I see the red line and then try to figure out how to properly spell it, like I did the second time I used it).  Aside from honors English, which is tearing apart written works and then writing essays about it, I didn't take any classes for higher-level writing and word appreciation. I went the math direction, instead.

Even if I did, though, I still wouldn't know how to spell. And grammar? I can only tell you what sounds right from years of reading. I had to look up what an adverb was--I kid you not. I know the basics, and I know what sounds good, but I am not a word-horse. I hate word games, I'm terrible at coming up with words if not in context, and I can only use a word in a sentence--I can't tell you what a word means without having to stop and think about it.

You know what else I do? I make shit up. I make up words all the time. I get a hazy idea of a word's meaning from reading it a few times, or just having it randomly stored in my brain from hearing it, and I fit it into context. Often I spell it wrong and have to then research the word, eventually finding what I am going for. But sometimes the word I am trying to use is similar in spelling to a completely different word. I use the wrong one. My beta readers then laugh at me and suggest what word I was probably going for.

Yes, my spelling and grammar is a joke among my beta readers, for good reason. I am a poster child for terrible spelling and grammar--I should wave a banner. Literally, I am probably the worst speller you know among college educated people. Yet, I have sold over 300,000 books in less than a year and a half.

So no, you don't need to know the rules in order to put a story down on paper. Those are different skill sets. But you DO need an editor and a few proofreaders to come in after you and point out all the words you made up. Or the wrong words you used. Or just the jumble of words you created in trying to get an idea down that sounded totally good in your head, and read like a dog created it.

So the next time you bash an author for spelling and grammar, don't tell them to stop writing. You might lose a lot of authors that way (if they listened to you, of course).  Instead, tell them they need to either hire an editor, get a new editor, or get a proofreader. Maybe even all three. That way, they won't feel inclined to point out the bad spelling and grammar in your review. Tee hee!