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Becky
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Mar 21, 2014 10:20AM

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WORLD OF THE LUPI!!!!!
ETA: not so much with the impish and tongue-tied - but the courteous definitely (there's a whole background about why women have be listened to) and there's a HUGE emphasis on family and clan. For both heroine and hero. They still are majorly competent and attractive, both, but while Lily has to impress some of the hero's tribe to be accepted, the hero and his father (who run the clan) accept her own skill-set (Rule does have to work on his overprotective instincts and this is thematically addressed and she saves him... I even think more often than he saves her when they get into trouble).
We see a lot of Lily's Chinese American family eventually, they play pivotal roles in various of the novels - her grandmother is awesome, especially - and we even see her find a new/only female bff, who is massively competent herself.
There's also a great twist on the destined mate trope which makes the developing romance actually believable!
Chachic did a whole series of posts about the books on her blog

(I am dying of curiosity as to the series you bounced off - do tell?)
I've scanned my list of favourite UFs and here are my other suggestions - have you read Wen Spencer before? Not strictly UF, but I like her Tinker books:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4...
Kalayna Price's Grave Witch series toys with that love triangle thing, but I really like it regardless:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7...
I'm not entirely sure that this isn't the series that didn't work for you (ack, triple negative!) but it is my favourite UF, so I'll have to mention Seanan McGuire's October Daye books?

I haven't read anything in UF land yet which has that amount of interest in clan and family life and continual negotiation of a relationship all while living through an action-packed plot arc and police procedural stuff (especially in the first few books).
Also, I have a theory/wish that the authors of books which I have enjoyed would also enjoy other books I have enjoyed, heh.

The books I bounced off of haven't been mentioned. I generally don't record on Goodreads books where I've bounced in the first couple of chapters. I put them in a 'bounced off' category on my kindle and read a few spoilery reviews of them instead. When I get further in, I put them in the "flipped to the end" category and review them, since I feel I've read enough to have formed a view on their content.
These ones had elements I really wanted to work for me (female professional cop type and investigating murders) but not only were there all these men being hyper-aggressive, but the protagonist was being portrayed as a bit of a fuck-up who doesn't know as much about what's going on as the other people in her team, and always a bit off-balance and struggling not to lose face. Can't stand that. I like my women competent and _sure_ in their competency, or at least trying to sensibly apply their skill set to whatever mad situation they've been flung into. The "everyone knows what's really going on except her" thing is a huge factor to me, too.

And seconding Wen Spencer's Tinker/ElfHome series. There's so much to love in it: geeking out on science, a female inventor/mechanic/scientific genius, Japanese inspired elf culture, linguistic pondering, spaceships, airships, swords & dragons.

You'll definitely enjoy Lily Yu then, she's the cop in the relationship (she gets to be an agent later on). Oh and the President of the US is female ^^

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4...."
Wen Spencer's Ukiah Oregon's series was the first one that came to mind. I don't like many UFs, for similar reasons to yours, but that one I really enjoyed.

It's been a while since I've read them, but I remember just racing through those books.

WORLD OF THE LUPI!!!!!
^^^ Thank you for this!!!!! I checked her out and flew through the series and now have another author that is added to my "must-read" list.