The Writing Blues

It's one of those days. It's just one of those writing days where I start to question.

Disclaimer:


This will be a woe-is-me blog. Not a rant, not a vent, just a blue face and hanging lip. I'm not a person that keeps emotions bottled up. I purge, letting the issues seep out of my body, so that I can heal it up and push on. If you don't want to see behind the author mask, I suggest you read no further.


I think everybody has a part about them that hates negativity. We are human, right? We don't want to wallow in things that make us sad or uncomfortable. When it comes to reviews, I've pretty much made my peace with the negative ones, and focus, instead, on those people that communicate with me via social media or email.

There comes a point, though, when the negative reviews start to cluster on Amazon. They work their way into the spotlight and take over.
 
I don't care what they have to say. I have enough returning readers, emails, and sales to shrug at the content.

The problem is, that black mark will warn others away. Readers to follow will see the terrible reviews, get discouraged, and walk away. Basically, it closes the file on your book. It marks the end of a high sellers rating. The book drifts away into dark space.

  To me, it acts as an impenetrable road block. A sheer cliff I can't scale. No matter how hard I try, and what I do, I cannot control the black cloud that the negative reviews create, warding others away.

I feel helpless. Part of me feels ganged up on. Yet another part feels overwhelmed.

Those feelings lead to an intense desire to give up.


 

It just gets to the point where I don't want to do it, anymore. I don't want to put my hard work, time and effort into something so vulnerable such as writing, only to have the nay-sayers win. Usually this would prompt me to push harder, my competitive streak not wanting me to back down, but after awhile...exhaustion sets in.

This is where I am. Exhausted. I don't want to fight Amazon's review system anymore. I don't want to be confronted with people that only read my book because it's free, and then add me to their ranting list. I'm just...done in.




I'm not sure what I will end up doing. I am off work until April so I can write full time. Maybe this is Fate's way of making sure I can't stop writing--I don't like idle time and boredom, so without accounting, I have nothing else to do but write. Except, I really don't want to put myself out there anymore. I really don't.

Maybe all I need is a good cry. A good cry, and hiding under a rock for a while.

It's just one of those days.