Is it worth it?
I'm emotional, so please excuse my rantings.
Lately, as in the last couple of weeks, I have been wondering if the stress I put myself through writing a book is worth it when I'm met with negativity and 1 star ratings.
Now before anyone jumps me, this is not directed to any one person or group. I started this post days ago and am just now posting it.
I understand that when a person puts their thoughts out there for the world to critique, you take the good with the bad. I get it. However, I put my heart and soul into my work, just like all writers, and it kills a little part of my enthusiasm every time I read that my writing sucks or that I know nothing of what I'm writing about or what I'm doing.
No, I don't live the BDSM lifestyle, but I have friends who do and I confer with them as well as do extensive research on the subject matter. I've tried my best to shine a positive light on the lifestyle while still making it an enjoyable read. I write fantasy. Fiction. Make believe. I add the angst and the drama because it makes for a good book.
No, I don't have a literary or writing degree. But I do my best to make each book better than the last and to improve my writing skills. And despite what people think, I go through great lengths to have my book edited on the small budget that I have and with the help of an amazing group of beta readers.
I damn near killed myself with the stress of putting this last book out, working 40+ hours a week, moving, and pretty much neglecting my most precious gift - my family, only to be met with 1 star ratings, nasty personal emails, and in the past being accused of plagiarizing and copying FSOG.
So I can't help but wonder, are the negative words spoken about my efforts worth the time I'm taking away from my daughter in hopes of giving her a better life? It doesn't feel like it. I tell myself not to read the reviews, but I crave approval, I always have and in the end, it's my own issues I have to deal with.
I had planned on finishing up (or trying to) Becoming Sir, The Art of Redemption and an Art of D/s novella, but my heart just isn't in it. It's days like this that I feel like pulling all my books out of publication, backing out of my future book signings and saying to heck with it all.
Will that change? I hope so. I love writing. I love telling stories. I love the kind and amazing people I've met here on GR, Twitter and FB. I love sharing the small amount of money I make by hosting giveaways.
So to all those people who have written harsh words about me when they know nothing of my intentions while they sit behind a wall of anonymity, I want to thank you for reminding me of what's important, and that's my daughter. I'm not going to give you any more opportunities to make assumptions about me or kill my spirit.
When I say harsh words, don't confuse that with negative reviews, because I have learned a lot from the honesty of heartfelt 1 star reviews. Its the acidic comments that I speak of.
All that aside, I want to sincerely thank everyone who has said kind words of encouragement. If not for that, I would've thrown in the towel months ago.
I'm new at this and it's all still a learning experience, but I vow to try and do better my next blog tour and be more organized, and if I can't meet my own self-imposed deadlines, then things will just have to be pushed back so that only my best work is presented to everyone involved.
I promise my readers that I will offer up only my best work possible, edited to the best of my abilities and with my available resources.
Much love,
Ella
Lately, as in the last couple of weeks, I have been wondering if the stress I put myself through writing a book is worth it when I'm met with negativity and 1 star ratings.
Now before anyone jumps me, this is not directed to any one person or group. I started this post days ago and am just now posting it.
I understand that when a person puts their thoughts out there for the world to critique, you take the good with the bad. I get it. However, I put my heart and soul into my work, just like all writers, and it kills a little part of my enthusiasm every time I read that my writing sucks or that I know nothing of what I'm writing about or what I'm doing.
No, I don't live the BDSM lifestyle, but I have friends who do and I confer with them as well as do extensive research on the subject matter. I've tried my best to shine a positive light on the lifestyle while still making it an enjoyable read. I write fantasy. Fiction. Make believe. I add the angst and the drama because it makes for a good book.
No, I don't have a literary or writing degree. But I do my best to make each book better than the last and to improve my writing skills. And despite what people think, I go through great lengths to have my book edited on the small budget that I have and with the help of an amazing group of beta readers.
I damn near killed myself with the stress of putting this last book out, working 40+ hours a week, moving, and pretty much neglecting my most precious gift - my family, only to be met with 1 star ratings, nasty personal emails, and in the past being accused of plagiarizing and copying FSOG.
So I can't help but wonder, are the negative words spoken about my efforts worth the time I'm taking away from my daughter in hopes of giving her a better life? It doesn't feel like it. I tell myself not to read the reviews, but I crave approval, I always have and in the end, it's my own issues I have to deal with.
I had planned on finishing up (or trying to) Becoming Sir, The Art of Redemption and an Art of D/s novella, but my heart just isn't in it. It's days like this that I feel like pulling all my books out of publication, backing out of my future book signings and saying to heck with it all.
Will that change? I hope so. I love writing. I love telling stories. I love the kind and amazing people I've met here on GR, Twitter and FB. I love sharing the small amount of money I make by hosting giveaways.
So to all those people who have written harsh words about me when they know nothing of my intentions while they sit behind a wall of anonymity, I want to thank you for reminding me of what's important, and that's my daughter. I'm not going to give you any more opportunities to make assumptions about me or kill my spirit.
When I say harsh words, don't confuse that with negative reviews, because I have learned a lot from the honesty of heartfelt 1 star reviews. Its the acidic comments that I speak of.
All that aside, I want to sincerely thank everyone who has said kind words of encouragement. If not for that, I would've thrown in the towel months ago.
I'm new at this and it's all still a learning experience, but I vow to try and do better my next blog tour and be more organized, and if I can't meet my own self-imposed deadlines, then things will just have to be pushed back so that only my best work is presented to everyone involved.
I promise my readers that I will offer up only my best work possible, edited to the best of my abilities and with my available resources.
Much love,
Ella
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message 1:
by
Delinda
(new)
Oct 06, 2013 08:45PM
I love your books! Don't let people that have nothing better to do but hurt others with their hate get you down. They are not worth it.
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I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your books. I have not read your newest one yet, but I will! As far as your above comments; no one has ever said going to their grave "I didn't work long enough." Family is really important but so is ones creative outlet. Try to find a happy medium. Don't stress yourself out so much. Maybe make your deadlines farther apart. Try to live the best of both worlds and feel the joy, not the negative vibes, which you have. Hope this helps. ~Barb
I know Ella that you are actually a nurse who happens to be a talented writer. I'm also a nurse and my writing skills are so poor I can't even write a review. Anyone who works in the medical field knows that we don't have the opportunity for complete sentences or to worry about how something may be worded or if the flow of a sentence sounded right. Knowing what you do for a living I'm in awe of your talent. I have thoroughly enjoyed everything that I've read that was written by you and I will continue to read your work. Kudos to you girlfriend, keep on keepin on!
Dawn wrote: "I know Ella that you are actually a nurse who happens to be a talented writer. I'm also a nurse and my writing skills are so poor I can't even write a review. Anyone who works in the medical field..."
Thank you. Actually I'm a respiratory therapist ;)
I look forward to your books. I love reading them and recommending them to coworkers and friends. There are some people in life who enjoy nothing more than making others feel like they are less worthy, smart or talented. You are such a talented writer and you shouldn't let anyone stop you. You just need to find some kind of middle ground, so that you can enjoy your family and continue to write. If at some point I do publish my own work, I hope it's half as good as yours.
Cool, RT. I'm a Nurse too. The smut helps me get through the night shift.
To be truly honest, besides my entire devotion and admiration for your writing and your books, I think that a huge amount of authors/writers here on goodreads, and along our planet, they didn't study for being writers. After that said, I think that it's really laudable, praiseworthy that you are pursuing your dream, fulfilling that part that many of us don't have guts to do it.
I think [and I experiment harsh critiques in daily basis] is not what they say about us; it's what we are going to do with that empowerment, because even if they say/said acid comments, we have the power to choose what are we going to do with them.
I really, really hope that you don't stop writing, because your writing is intelligent, hilarious, smart, sarcastic, erotic, sensual, direct... in a single word: fierce. In the Erotica Genre, there aren't many authors as you are [or at least that I have read, and I can count them with my fingers and toes]. And I must say that your spelling and grammar are amazing [lol! ok, I'm a geek and Spelling Cop!]
So, I think that you must prioritize, and find equilibrium to keep going (: Everyone must deserve a time-out (;
Ella, I am a Nurse, too, and losing myself in one of your books is like a mini vacation from the stressors of the day. I.LOVE.YOUR.WRITING!!!! I think is it great. I am in awe of your talent and how you juggle your writing with a child and a spouse and a job and moving and all of the daiy stuff we all have to go through.I loved the "The Art of D/s" and the "Contintental" books, hope there are more of them and absolutely adored Tuck and Lilly's story, best one yet. I thought it was beautifully written, I read it twice in 3 days, even though I have a long line of unread books on my Kindle, it was that good!
Please hang in there, take breaks as needed and know that you have a superlative talent for story telling and let's not forget juggling!
All the best, Mary
Ella:I am a new writer myself and I get where you are coming from. It can be damn hard to ignore the negative, but in my opinion your books are a huge inspiration and a great read. With as many books out it can be hard to keep your work 100% original and you do a great job at that. Keep up the good work.
C. shell
Ella! I am a huge fan of your Continental Affairs books and I've told everyone I know about them. People are going to hate no matter what you do! As huge as FSoG and Twilight are, people still one starred them. Stephanie Meyer and E.L. James are the ones laughing now though. It takes a strong person to write a novel and put it out there to be criticized. I am actually an aspiring novelist who just can't seem finish anything but maybe one day! So I can appreciate how difficult it is to work full time, be a parent and still find the creative mind space to write a story. Do what you love! Learn from the negative and reward yourself with the positive and let your passion fuel you. Don't give up, I'll keep reading your work!
Okay...First, some people are F'N turd stains. Second, I absolutely adore your books Ella!! I wish that some people could express themselves in a more constructive way, unfortunately some people just suck.:(I hope that you don't give up on a passion of yours, I would be very, very sad if I never get a chance to read anymore of your amazing stories!
PS.
I am slowly going insane waiting to read Becoming Sir! ;)
Ella...please don't stop writing. You have to many fans that would be disappointed. I am one of those fans!!! I can't imagine how difficult the one star reviews are??? But know there are so many haters out there that don't have a life and prey upon kind souls like yourself. Take some much needed time for yourself and YOUR FAMILY and then please come back and write for yourself and your fans...HUGS!!!
Ella, please don't let the judgement of someone who lacks compassion get you down. The thing a lot of people don't take into consideration is that everyone has different likes and dislikes. That doesn't make one persons view right or wrong, just different. But to purposely hurt someone by criticizing is just mean spirited. I really enjoyed The Art of D/s Trilogy and I'm really looking forward to reading Becoming A Sir.
Take some time for yourself and your family. And when you are ready, you have many of us who be here to support you.
Ella! You have quickly, and I mean quickly, moved up to the top of my ranks for on of my favorite smut authors. I lovelovelove your writing style and the humor that gets injected in stories. I cannot tell you how many times I have laughed out loud while reading your books. It is so awesome to smile for 4 hours straight. :D (see, still doing it!)Those negative nellys need to just take a long walk off of the shortest pier they can find. Just remember that you can't please everyone... but if you do your best (which by the way is what you are doing now!) you will have a lovely little bunch of rabid-fans drooling at your feet for each thing you publish. If you need to take the time to regroup, please do! I'm sure myself and at least the 13 people above me will be waiting with open arms no matter what happens next. We love ya!
Ella....you are an amazing writer and I am sure an even more amazing mother. You will never be able to please everyone....but there are those out there who can escape into the world of your books and laugh, cry, giggle, dream or even have a fantasy....only because you have made that happen. I have read FSOG, Crossfire series, and many more.....in no way or form do I think that your books show plagiarizing and copying! I think Dorothy said it best: "Please don't let the judgement of someone who lacks compassion get you down. The thing a lot of people don't take into consideration is that everyone has different likes and dislikes. That doesn't make one persons view right or wrong, just different. But to purposely hurt someone by criticizing is just mean spirited." For every mean person there are 50 (how was that put?) "rabid fans" drooling at your feet waiting for more!
I can't tell you enough on much I am looking forward to "Becoming Sir" as do so many others!
Letting those compassionless people knock you down only lets them win! We Love You!
Don't be discouraged by readers who give you less than a 5 star rating. Different strokes for different strokes, right? For every critic of your books, there are 10 positive reviews. Those who don't like them shouldn't read them. My bet is that there are 10 book fans for every critic. You are putting out good books. Keep up the good work, and we will keep up our end by reading and enjoying them.
Oh wow...some people can be so harsh! I think that the people who criticize in a mean way with their words are cowards. There is always another, kinder way to put things. Keep up the good work Ella! Try not to let the mean people get you down!!
Thank you to all of those who have responded on this post. I've been struggling daily to keep writing and these comments have touched my heart. Thank you. I can't tell you how much they're appreciated!
Aww I love your books! Don't let whoever is saying cruel comments get to you. I'm not a author. But I am a musician. And I know what's its like to put something you've worked on and put so much effort into to be critiqued. It can be nerve wracking. Because your work is like your lil babies lol that's how I feel. Follow your heart and do what makes you happy! Don't ever let anyone stop your dreams. Take the FSOG comparisons as a compliment because I loved that trilogy and I love your Art of D's trilogy as well. And I still to this day see people talking crap about fifty shades. When they can talk all they want while E.L. is laughing all the way to the bank lol with movie deals, endorsement deals on fifty merchandise, it has become a phenomenon worldwide! Haters will hate. But never let them or anyone else break your spirit or stop you from continuing to write great books. Much love!
Ella, Your books are great and so well written. I have enjoyed getting lost in the story of Dylan and Isabelle. Your books are so much better than the FSOG series because your characters are more realistic and your writing is so much better. I can't imagine putting my work out there for others to critique and I admire you. You are showing your daughters to follow their dreams by publishing your stories. If you are doing what you love then who cares what other people say. I admire your talent and ability to publish such fascinating and exotic stories. Please keep on writing.
Just keep on writing Ella!! You are great! :)
Some people have really nothing better to do. I've always been a fan of yours and your work; I love that you interact with people who have read your books and acknowledge our appreciation.I'm a nurse, and I try so damn hard to balance my time; I'm not even writing at this point! ( I try, but it's just not my talent. *sigh*).
You're an amazing person, mother and a healthcare worker. :)
