Three Simple Rules to Family Vacations

Well, that’s that.  Disney came, Disney went, and we’re back to reality around here.  

Those of you following along at home will be delighted to know that Team Wicked Awesome  successfully completed our Disney Race.  On the left here is a  photo of me & my running buddy/trip planner extraordinaire Sarah just before embarking on the Expedition Everest 5k at Disney’s Animal Kingdom last weekend.  We’re dressed up as our favorite Disney villains, of course:  Sarah as Cruella DeVille from 101 Dalmations, me as Ursula the Sea Witch from the Little Mermaid.  I obviously couldn’t make my long, dark hair do Ursula’s bleached blonde spikes, so I settled for slapping on a light-up octopus fascinator & calling it  day.  

In addition to being adorable, however, we were also fast!   We managed to place 6th out of over 500 women’s teams.  On the right down there is me and my victory fist crossing the finish line. 

But I’m not here today to talk about my race.  No,I came home from this vacation with three key learnings.  Three vacation practices that have revolutionized my ability to take a vacation with my family & actually enjoy it.  And I’m going to share them with you. 

1)  PREPARATION/PLANNING.  

This sounds ridiculous, I know.  I mean, who takes a vacation without planning it?  But you’d be amazed at the amount of blow-back you can get from family members (who shall in this post remain nameless) who believe that trip planning kills spontaneity & therefore enjoyment.  They resist any effort to create plans, budgets, agendas, bullet points.  It is suggested–subtly–that any commitment beyond hotel reservations or airline tickets is over-thinking things. 

Ignore these people.  They are trouble.  Plan the heck out of your trip.  Don’t even bother attempting to get familial buy-in.  Pore over your guide books.  Buy attraction tickets and make dinner reservations six months in advance.  Make day-by-day agendas!  Wheeee!  You will not be sorry.  Trust me. 

However.  (You knew there was a however, didn’t you?  There’s ALWAYS a however.)  Please see #2 below.

2)  BE FLEXIBLE.

The key to all this planning?  You can’t get attached to your lovely plan.  When you vacation with family–and I was at Disney with my kids, my husband AND my parents, so we’re talking three generations–you have to be prepared to flex.  Everybody’s not going to want to do the same thing at the same time.  There are different levels of energy, ambition, interest.  Plus, what seemed totally do-able six months ago in the dead of winter when it was just you & your guide book might not be entirely feasible after three days of going hard in the summer heat.  

So when you’re building your lovely plans, make sure to build in escape hatches & loop holes.  Alternate agendas for the tired & the wired.  Opt-out clauses for golfers.  (This was key with my parents.  We bought them three day park passes as compared to our four-day passes & they went golfing mid-week rather than doing Hollywood Studios.)   Pay attention to the mood of your brood, & offer options accordingly.

Which brings me to the all-important lesson #3:

3)  VACATION IS NOT A DEMOCRACY.

Somebody has to be in charge of vacation.  If you sit around the breakfast table every day trying to achieve consensus on what we’re going to do today, you’ll likely still be sitting there at lunch, embroiled in inertia.  I know this because I am the third of four kids, & now that we all have spouses & children & dogs & such, our holiday gatherings aren’t family get-togethers so much as a week-long effort to mobilize the troops.  

Successful vacationing requires a leader.  It requires somebody who’s willing to slap an agenda on the breakfast table & say, “Here’s today’s plan.”   When/if objections arise, you then offer up your opt-out escape hatch alternatives.  But because you planned so well and so beautifully, you have those lovely dinner reservations or tickets bought in advance.  This gives your day some structure, a guidepost of sorts.  It’s very stabilizing to know that something is happening at a certain place & time, so everybody can meet back up for the day’s peak experience. 

Now I had the impression (likely from those same family members who are remaining anonymous for the duration of this post) that this sort of dictatorship was frowned upon by vacationers, but it is actually received with much gratitude.  People make decisions so much faster & more effectively when they’re presented with three distinct options rather than a whole buffet of choices.  So let them sneer at your six-months-out dinner reservation.  When the day comes, you can take your satisfaction in watching your vacation unfold like clockwork.

So there you have it.  Susan’s Simple Rules for Taking your Family on Vacation.  And all it took was 40 years & about as many vacations punctuated with melt-downs, shouting-matches & endless discussions regarding where we should eat. 

So how about you?  What are your tips & tricks for a great vacation?  I would love to add to my body of knowledge!