Cold Snap
Me: C'mon puppy, let's go pee-pee! Time to go pee-pee in the potty!Dog: It's 23 degrees out here, you sadistic bitch! Besides--you know I already whizzed in your laundry!
***
Mate: Did you go do aqua aerobics today.
Me: Yes. I've been assured my metal is in the mail. (Still hasn't been sent. The nerve! It was forty degrees out there yesterday!)
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Zoomboy: It's really cold. I think I'll wear two sweaters! If it was only a little cold, I would only wear one, but it's really cold, so I'll wear two. If we were on the Ice PLanet Hoth, I'd have to wear taun-taun guts, but we're not, so I'll wear another sweater.
(Zoomboy has become obsessed with Star Wars lately-- his rather hilarious story for school is titled "Robot Apocalypse" and features a communications robot named CP who helps people run their lawn mowers after the crash.)
***
Me, on phone to book vendor: Oooh... it's a bit cold!
Book Vendor: Don't talk to me about cold--I live in Petaluma, it was 15 degrees out there. Isn't it in the 50's where you are?
Me: It's in the twenties!
Book Vendor (as if suddenly realizing I am a customer and he probably shouldn't play one-upsies with me): Wow-- I'm surprised. It usually doesn't get that cold in the valley.
Me: Yeah-- well, people keep giving us cold weather clothes. Time to use them!
***
Me: You know, since basically I"m throwing a jacket on over my pajamas when I take the dog for a walk, I don't really have a bra on. Basically, I really am freezing my tits off.
Mate: Don't do that. I like them.
***
Big T: I was going to go out and catch a bus and go look for a job. But you had to leave. I thought I'd stay home for the dog.
Dog: Sure. That's why you didn't leave the house.
***
Me to dog: NO, Johnnie, don't eat the Kitty Roca-- IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS!!!
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Cat to me: If the dog was truly significant, you would allow him to make sweet love to you in the bathroom. Now scratch my places, slavebeast, scratch them!
Me to cat: Behind the tail or behind the tail, my liege? My wish is but to serve.
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Me to Mary: Florida, right? We're going to Florida in a month? It's going to be warm, right? WAAAARRRRRRRRMMM....
Mary: Uh-huh, because 68* is warm. Sure it is.
***
Me to dog: Yeah, sure, come camp out on my chest. Just don't stop radiating heeeeeeeaaaattttttt.
***
I understand the weather's going to warm up a little. I, for one, can hardly wait!
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message 1:
by
Kaje
(new)
Jan 15, 2013 02:04PM
LOL. Shall I one-up you from Minnesota? I hope you get warmer weather soon. I kind of hope we don't, because warm weather in Minnesota in January has me watching for the apocalypse.
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Kaje wrote: "LOL. Shall I one-up you from Minnesota? I hope you get warmer weather soon. I kind of hope we don't, because warm weather in Minnesota in January has me watching for the apocalypse."LOL-- I hear you! And no one-upsmanship necessary. There was a picture of the Mitten in the winter on my phone-- I showed it to the kids so they'd know what REAL winter was!
Oh I can relate! Last night my hubby got home from work to find me in my coat and scarf while cooking dinner. I'd been home an hour and still didn't feel warm yet. He teased me and said it was a disgrace to all Minnesotans (he claims that if its above 30 than it's time for shorts). I told him if he wanted dinner he'd have to shut up, because the only reason I was cooking was to get closer to the stove. It was so toasty warm!
Lolol... Yup! My husband put three blankets on MY side of the bed.
Mine said that he was drawing the line at me wearing my robe over my pj's, lol
Oh you poor things! We (in the UK) tend to panic when the thermometer reaches anywhere near 0 degrees - which is what we're doing at the moment!!Snow has fallen here (1-4 cms !!!) and more is forecast for Friday :) WE CANNOT COPE!!!!
My warmest, heat-sending, wishes to all of you :)
