Just Say No to Little Drummer Boy

I know for some this is probably going to put me in the “Old Geezer Camp,” but I can’t help it. I’ve been thinking about this every Christmas for years, not just lately. Every time I hear that ridiculous “Christmas” song called “The Little Drummer Boy” on the radio, I think, “How in the world did this song ever get into every radio’s traditional Christmas songlist?” Just before I switch to another station.

It’s such a stupid song…if you just think about it for a moment.

A quiet, starry night in Bethlehem, out on the edge of town in a dark stable…

A small boy walks inside. “Shall I play for him?”

“Play what?” Mary whispers, as she looks adoringly at her new son, finally asleep after all that excitement with the shepherds.

“Play my drum for him,” the little drummer boy says. 

Mary looks up, sees what he’s holding in his hands. “Please don’t,” she says quietly.

“But…I have no gifts to bring, Par-um pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum”

“I have no idea what that means. But really, you don’t need to bring any gifts.”

Just then, Joseph walks in. “What’s this?” he says softly, seeing Jesus asleep.

“A little drummer boy,” Mary said. “He wants to play that thing.”

“In here?” Joseph says. “You’re kidding, right?”

*  *  *

See…that’s how I think this thing would probably go. And to make matters worse, the song they often play on the radio is the Harry Belafonte version. Anyone been listening lately to the whacko things this guy’s been saying? I heard him recently say Obama should start ruling “like a third world dictator” and put any of the Republicans who oppose him in jail.

Merry Christmas, Harry.

So please…join my quiet protest. Just say No to The Little Drummer Boy.