The Story I'm Afraid to Write

A few weeks ago, my brother asked me why I'd never written a serious story--particularly something about a sick baby.  I have real-life experience (with my little boy, Jayden, and my twin sisters who were born very premature), and maybe I could write something really meaningful.

I told him, I don't write stories like that because I don't want to relive any of the time when my baby was sick.  I've spent two years piling happy memories on top of the ones from the hospital, hoping they'd fade.  I write light, fun stories because that's where my mind wants to spend its time.

My brother nodded and let it go, but I couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said.

Then I had an idea for a book unlike any I've written so far. A serious book.  A book that would challenge me emotionally.

I've barely started and already I've ended every writing session in tears. The research is really, really difficult and the story is the most personal thing I've ever written.  It's likely I won't make it to the end and, even if I do, it would be a miracle if it was the sort of book anyone actually wanted to read.  But it is the book of my heart, and I really believe it's what I need right now.

Is there a special book you want to write someday?  One you're afraid to start?