The Tricky Question of What You Want

My latest release, Puck’s Legacy is officially out today. Link here: Puck's Legacy

Humans who have never met or heard of me can now buy 400 pages worth of words set to a rhythm and order of my choosing. It’s weird when you think of it like that. It’s weird anyway.

I suspect there’s a bit of false humility in that opening (I’m owning it). Because obviously the fact is that it’s 400 page worth of my blood, sweat, tears, love and (often) hatred over at least 400 years (it seems). And I’m proud of it. But I’m scared. Someone asked me what I wanted the other day. What was my goal? Sell a million copies? Reach a thousand unique voices? Influence the world?

Apparently I was meant to have an answer. Actually the only answer that sprang to mind was what I don’t want.

I don’t want to be hated on twitter (sorry, ‘X’). I don’t want to make anyone unhappy through some thoughtless phrase or lack of consideration. I don’t want to lose my privacy. I don’t need (it wasn't quite honest not to say 'want'!) to be a millionaire. I don’t want (and this is the most controversial of all) to be J K Rowling.

I don’t know if other authors out there are constantly being asked if they’re hoping to be the next J K Rowling. There have been some controversies re her views, (which I'm not allowing myself to get into right now), but even so, I think she’s become shorthand for writerly success.

I think I’d probably prefer to be Shakespeare. People think he’s good, right? But he’s dead now, so he can probably nip to the shops in the afterlife without his make up on in peace, and he’s unlikely to get slammed on social media. Or at least if he does he won’t care about it.

There are three things we can take from this.
One – I might need to toughen up a little, get real and generally smell the coffee.
Two – Art is meant to be looked at, and people are supposed to have opinions about it.
Three – I apparently aspire to posthumous success, which is difficult to achieve whilst still alive. I don’t particularly fancy shuffling off this mortal coil quite yet though, so back to point one.

In the end I worked out exactly what it was I really wanted.
• I want all of those people who are my friends and who like to read, and who like to read this kind of thing, to have read it. They don’t have to have liked it but it would be nice to be showered liberally in general adoration if they feel so inclined.

• I want 100 people who don’t know me and have no loyalty to me to have read it and to review it. They don’t have to have liked it but a really helpful constructive review, where I can learn what the problem is and do better next time, would be wonderful. Someone did that for me on here recently for my previous book, and it was the best review I’d ever read. (Thank you to that person if they're reading).

That’s it. That’s the actual thing I want.

And photos of cats. That always goes down well too. I was going to post one on here but I think it's not allowed because technically it actually has nothing to do with my book. Which is suppose is true. That might be flaw number one to fix for next time...