Thou shall not steal

In my youth, I stole, among other things:

Two dozen children’s shoes – all left footed – and the display table upon which they were sittingMany orange traffic conesA grocery cartA New Bedford high school snare drummer’s sticks and his backup sticksA stethoscopeThe blank, white pages from hundreds of children’s booksA candlepin bowling ballA payphone receiverThe Scottie dog from at least a dozen a Monopoly gamesAll of the underwear that Robert Archambault packed for our week at Yawgoog Scout ReservationThe flag and mascot (a stuffed beaver) of a North Adam State University’s frat houseA “Speed Checked By Radar” traffic sign (which I still own today)Many, many pepper shakersLester Maroney’s grade bookA blue spruce tree from a neighbor’s front lawnA case of McDonald’s birthday cakesSeveral garden gnomes

Happily, I have since learned to walk the straight and narrow. Not only is theft illegal and immoral, but it can sometimes lead to terrible results:

Case in point:

Last week, a thief broke into a box truck in Denver and stole a dolly and a box labeled “Science Care.” It’s unlikely that the thief knew what the box contained, because it was filled with several human heads bound for medical research.

I was astounded to discover that the shoes my friend and I stole were all left-footed children’s shoes.

Just imagine how the thief who opened a box filled with human heads felt.

The old adage “Crime doesn’t pay” has never been more true.