On Being Mediocre and Defeated
Look. I don’t see myself as this great artist. I’m a perfectionist, albeit a lazy one, and my work will never reach my standards. Not a great way to live, but at least it is my choice.
What I will not stand for is the audacity of gatekeepers to determine my path, or derail that path altogether by treating me like the scum of the earth because I’m not represented by an agent. Would having an agent be nice? Absolutely. But I don’t think it’s the only measure of success.
Yesterday, I had a conversation with a publicist that broke me. I was shamed for not having a large social media following. I was shamed for even attempting to promote my book. I was shamed for not pursuing traditional publishing. She insinuated that if I don’t play the traditional publishing game, my writing career is dead in the water. She said I wouldn’t sell more than 100 books. I was not worthy of anyone’s time.
I came out of this conversation feeling extremely defeated, like I should give up my lifelong dream of being an author because one self-important person said I should. But despite all of the doubt I now feel as the launch of my second book, “Brush Strokes,” draws nearer, I know I’m going to keep writing (eventually–I need time to heal). No matter how book sales turn out, whether someone asks for it or not, I will keep writing and publishing stories. I truly believe it is my purpose in this life to write and that purpose is not up for debate.
No matter where you are in your journey, no matter how many people have doubted your success, I hope you will keep pushing. How you live is not for someone else to decide. In a world with so many influencers, actors, musicians, and models, it is easy to feel mediocre and defeated because there will always be someone else out there with more than you do. But if we continue to chase fame, we will burn out.
Don’t let other people determine your worth. Don’t discredit your accomplishments. Don’t become more palatable for more likes on social media. Be authentic, even if that is flawed. Anoint yourself with the love and respect that you deserve. You are special, even if other people haven’t noticed.
What I will not stand for is the audacity of gatekeepers to determine my path, or derail that path altogether by treating me like the scum of the earth because I’m not represented by an agent. Would having an agent be nice? Absolutely. But I don’t think it’s the only measure of success.
Yesterday, I had a conversation with a publicist that broke me. I was shamed for not having a large social media following. I was shamed for even attempting to promote my book. I was shamed for not pursuing traditional publishing. She insinuated that if I don’t play the traditional publishing game, my writing career is dead in the water. She said I wouldn’t sell more than 100 books. I was not worthy of anyone’s time.
I came out of this conversation feeling extremely defeated, like I should give up my lifelong dream of being an author because one self-important person said I should. But despite all of the doubt I now feel as the launch of my second book, “Brush Strokes,” draws nearer, I know I’m going to keep writing (eventually–I need time to heal). No matter how book sales turn out, whether someone asks for it or not, I will keep writing and publishing stories. I truly believe it is my purpose in this life to write and that purpose is not up for debate.
No matter where you are in your journey, no matter how many people have doubted your success, I hope you will keep pushing. How you live is not for someone else to decide. In a world with so many influencers, actors, musicians, and models, it is easy to feel mediocre and defeated because there will always be someone else out there with more than you do. But if we continue to chase fame, we will burn out.
Don’t let other people determine your worth. Don’t discredit your accomplishments. Don’t become more palatable for more likes on social media. Be authentic, even if that is flawed. Anoint yourself with the love and respect that you deserve. You are special, even if other people haven’t noticed.
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message 1:
by
Barbara
(new)
Feb 17, 2022 04:03AM
Sara, you're absolutely correct. No one can take away your dreams or your authenticity. People in positions of power who tear others down to build their own self worth are the very definition of toxicity. I'm sorry one such person took aim at you. F- them. Keep your head high and, above all, please keep writing!
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