Bad Review & Orgasms
I've finally begun getting bad reviews... not an overload, but a few nonetheless.
Obviously as the writer of the book, I initially disagree. Every now and then, I think.... hmmm well the A-hole has a point... I did do that... but you take away a STAR for that? I should hunt you down and eat your children!
What I love is the dumb writer that begins argueing with the reviewer... oh yeah... that'll get you fans buddy! You're really building an author's platform there. (I usually take their books off my TBR list)
So.. too all writers... I have created the BAD REVIEW RECOVERY PLAN.
This plan is FREE!
It is also a sure fire way to not end up doing something crazy like harrassing the reviewer or even worse looking like a big huge throbbing C&&k-Burger!
Okay....
BAD REVIEW RECOVERY PLAN:
1- Read the bad review.
2-STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER! (Do not go on that reviewer's profile and begin judging the books that they five stared! Do not add the reviewer as a friend! Do not tell other reviewers how much of a douche bag this reviewer is! Don't fight with them on twitter, facebook, goodreads, or other social networking sites where millions of people can see how much of a a-hole you are! Do not even create a fake profile and then begin argueing with the reviewer as the "Huge Fan"!)
3- GO ON YOUR FAVORITE BOOK'S PAGE.... and READ ALL OF THEIR BAD REVIEWS.
I love to go on Daughter of Smoke and Bones (my favorite book ever)! I just enjoy reading the 520 one-star reviews for her book. It just helps me understand that... hey, not everybody is going to love your freakin book! Its okay!
4- GRAB A GLASS OF WINE
5- PLAY SOME SEXY MUSIC AND GREET YOUR HUSBAND WITH NOTHING ON!
My hubby loves bad reviews!! I find that a hearty orgasm makes anything better.
Try the plan and tell me if it works!
Obviously as the writer of the book, I initially disagree. Every now and then, I think.... hmmm well the A-hole has a point... I did do that... but you take away a STAR for that? I should hunt you down and eat your children!
What I love is the dumb writer that begins argueing with the reviewer... oh yeah... that'll get you fans buddy! You're really building an author's platform there. (I usually take their books off my TBR list)
So.. too all writers... I have created the BAD REVIEW RECOVERY PLAN.
This plan is FREE!
It is also a sure fire way to not end up doing something crazy like harrassing the reviewer or even worse looking like a big huge throbbing C&&k-Burger!
Okay....
BAD REVIEW RECOVERY PLAN:
1- Read the bad review.
2-STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER! (Do not go on that reviewer's profile and begin judging the books that they five stared! Do not add the reviewer as a friend! Do not tell other reviewers how much of a douche bag this reviewer is! Don't fight with them on twitter, facebook, goodreads, or other social networking sites where millions of people can see how much of a a-hole you are! Do not even create a fake profile and then begin argueing with the reviewer as the "Huge Fan"!)
3- GO ON YOUR FAVORITE BOOK'S PAGE.... and READ ALL OF THEIR BAD REVIEWS.
I love to go on Daughter of Smoke and Bones (my favorite book ever)! I just enjoy reading the 520 one-star reviews for her book. It just helps me understand that... hey, not everybody is going to love your freakin book! Its okay!
4- GRAB A GLASS OF WINE
5- PLAY SOME SEXY MUSIC AND GREET YOUR HUSBAND WITH NOTHING ON!
My hubby loves bad reviews!! I find that a hearty orgasm makes anything better.
Try the plan and tell me if it works!
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message 51:
by
new_user
(new)
Jun 01, 2012 12:34PM
Much respect, Kenya. Because of the humor, humility and well-meaning, positive message in this post, I'm inspired to check out your books. That's the only way the landscape has changed: your actions online can help or hurt your image. Encouraging respect can only help it. For a "new writer," you're making a great, mature start. Experience doesn't preclude anyone from making mistakes.
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wow thanks for this unexpected love today! I will be checking out your link at Kate Copeseeley's and thanks so much new_user
Bad reviews are also tempered by the good ones. I just got one today for my book that literally brought a tear to my eye and almost made me cry because of how the book made the reader feel. I have never felt that way before. It was more emotional to me than any bad review could ever be. I'm not 'hurt' or 'upset' by negativity, it just rolls off me. It's the part where what I wrote and what I managed to create touched someone else in a deep and positive way. That means far, far more. Good advice. I have 3 bottles of my favorite wine lined up just in case.
Missy
Pia/F. P., have you ever stop to consider that maybe your book is just bad? If you only got bad reviews it might not be a smearing campaign, it might just be that you're not a good writer?Just try to consider this, just for a moment.
PS: I don't know you or your books, I'm just playing Devil's advocate here.
That's like telling someone their kid is ugly. :D
Hey, Kenya, your blog is making the rounds and many people are liking it and sharing it. I found it hilarious. (And also Alicia's comments as well, ha!) Also, lots of people are going to be seeing the comments made here and probably head on over to some peoples' profiles due to curiosity. They might even stumble on some writing where the author is talking to themselves about conspiracies with a woe-is-me attitude.
Just sayin'. It might happen.
An author's animosity towards a reviewer or bad review will do much more damage than negative reviews alone. And you're definitely right: they should really spend their time doing something more productive than bitching online, because it never ends well.
I must say..... all of you are freakin hilarious! Happy Friday people! Reading your comments are like drinking wine after a long day of work.
Well Damali, maybe their child is ugly. ;)Sadly, it's a fact of life, not everybody is beautiful, just like not every book is good. But taste is a strange thing. I like many books people feel are awful, just like I dated plenty of so called ugly people.
Kenya, great post by the way. I'm gonna check your books next!
Yes, but that's not the point.I'd be so pissed if some random person were to call my kid ugly. Imagine if they did it online, and not face-to-face. That would make the insult worse. It's instinct to protect your kid, or your book, whether they're ugly or not. :)
I'm going to have to talk to my wife about making a crappy book so we can implement your plan. :o)
LMAO@ Tom! Yes this is a perfect plan to implement. Frankly if more people did this process there wouldn't be a certain website that is whimpering about reviewers.
Tom wrote: "I'm going to have to talk to my wife about making a crappy book so we can implement your plan. :o)"Bahahahaha!!
Tom wrote: "I'm going to have to talk to my wife about making a crappy book so we can implement your plan. :o)"
LOL!!! The plan works great for my hubby too!
LOL!!! The plan works great for my hubby too!
Skyla (Happy Go Lucky and Lost in Books) wrote: "I actually gave an author a bad review on Amazon and she friended me on fb and she is actually one my best friends now.This blog post is awesome Kenya =)"
I must be cynical because I think that your author-now-bff is simply waiting for the right time to devour you, Skyla.
I'm not a writer. I stumbled across one of your books today as it's up for voting for a BOM in a group I'm a member of. I just became a fan because...Cockburger! Nearly wet my knickers reading this post. About to go and buy Fire Baptised.
KW
My Readers Group K KILLERS.
Link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/25155...
...more
Link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/25155...
...more
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