The Universe - or is it Fate - is fickle.
If someone had told me yesterday that an asteroid would collide with Earth, that we'd have a flood of Biblical proportions, or that a solar storm would wipe out all our electronics, I would probably have said "I guess that could happen."
If someone had told me my dog Ellie would fall dead down, I would have said, "Ellie? That doesn't seem likely." And it's exactly what happened.
She seemed her normal self yesterday. We were out in the woods walking and she was just like normal. She bounced by the door for evening walkies, just like normal. Had dinner and asked for treats, just like normal. And fell asleep in the sofa, sleep barking a little, just like normal.
This morning, I heard her come up the stairs, it sounded like she was walking in a circle to lie down, like dogs do, and then there was a thump and a whimper. I hurried out of bed and out into the hall and I was there in seconds, but she was already dead.
I've been worried about losing my other dog, Topper, because he's starting to look old. His eyes look old and his fur is sprinkled with white where it didn't use to be. I've looked at Ellie and thought, "Soon it will just be you and me. That will be weird, I wonder how we will cope." And now she's gone.
Yesterday, I told her, "We'll do that tomorrow" and had no idea there wouldn't be a tomorrow.
There's a hole in my heart and the house is empty.
We biological creatures age and die. It's a fact of life, I know that, but every New Year I wish this will be the year when no one I love dies. I think the Universe looks at me and mumbles, "Oh, that's just adorable. You still have a lot to learn about this. Let me see what I can cook up."
The current streak started in 2016. That year, my husband, my dog Bonnie, and two good friends died. After that it just kept going. My cat Samson and my dog Boo, within months of each other. Since April last year my mom, three good friends, Mike's dad, Mike's granny, my cat Adam, my neighbor, and now Ellie. Another good friend got early Alzheimer's. She's still alive, but it's moot. She has no idea who I am.
The list is too long for such a short period of time. I wish I had something profound to say about it, but I don't.
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It's been a decade in two years! Your pet, and the COVID taking your Mom, sorry! I preside over a small group of costume-makers called the Chicagoland Costumers' Guild. We had 12 members in 2019, and now we have 9. All the departures taken by the Grim Reaper. When Jennifer took ill with some kind of pneumonia in January of 2020, we thought..."Well, it's pneumonia, that can be cured." We hadn't heard of COVID then, and the word came to us that she wasn't expected to make it, a day before she died. With 2020 hindsight (!) it's obvious she was one of the first cases in Illinois. Our veterinarian got it shortly thereafter, and he was number 30. By now, if somebody dies, I don't think anyone knows whch number they were, but vaccines are worth it, regardless of twitter deniers and Q-anon conspiracy theorists. My wife and I got it at the World Science-Fiction Convention in Chicago this September, and we're still here, despite both being in our 70's. Our friend Jennifer was 46... There are still people out there warning that a vaccines are dangerous, and a million citizens of the USA are dead, most of the latter half ones who refused to get vaccinated because of 'dangerous' or 'my rights.' If vaccine side effects have a death toll with three digits, I'd be surprised. Seven digits worth of death toll from the virus doesn't balance the scales. I guess people who want it should have a right to die, but I suspect the 'rights' people aren't thinking of that particular right. Sorry to rant about this, but my wife tested positive again this weekend, and I'm waiting to see what happens to us, and I'm just bummed-out about people saying "It's over...let's go back to business as usual," while ignoring all public health recommendations.
Believe it or not, the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote a sermon referring to this law of physics in 1968.