What I think when I see a delivery van

When I see a delivery van--Amazon, UPS, Fedex--I always think maybe they'll bring me a package. I think this even when I haven't ordered anything. Maybe a friend has ordered me something. Or, for example ...

A UPS van pulls into the driveway, and the driver hands me a small parcel with my name and address on it. Then takes out his phone and snaps a picture of me.

"Boss's orders," he smiles.

"Wait what? That doesn't sound right. UPS ordered you to take my picture?"

"Heh, yeah... UPS," he says with...