Learning From Our Mistakes

As I began my week, I was excited at the prospect that I was going to be tackling the second edit of book four. Book four in a lot of ways was difficult for me to write because I knew where I needed to end up but I was unsure I was going to get there. I knew how the book was supposed to end. Actually, I wrote the final chapter months before I wrote the book. I could start to see a clear path to the end of the book and then Savannah would throw me an added scene making me think I didn’t know where I was going. I mentally struggled with the book. Usually the second edit is fairly easy. This time it wouldn’t be so easy. I realized something I had missed as I began the edit. I did the one thing I told all of you not to do last week. Do not rush an edit. Guess what I did, I rushed through the edit. It took me two chapters to realize I screwed up on the first edit months ago.

So where did I go wrong? Why did I make this mistake knowing the rule? To answer that question I had to do a little thinking. It took a moment to remember that when I started the edit, I had just started my new job. I had not worked a full time job outside of my home in eleven years. I was getting up earlier than usual and I had some personal stuff happening. Those changes in my writing showed as I began this edit. I was trying to prove I could still get done everything I normally would, even though I was at work for eight hours. I wanted to kick myself as I realized how foolish I had been. Here I was sitting at my computer, reading the first two chapters, and adding four more pages to the manuscript because of my error in judgement. The frustration with myself and the editing process was hard. Normally, edit two is making small corrections. This was more like a first edit. I had to stop and think about where I went wrong.

The first place I went wrong was thinking I could edit thirty to forty pages while working a full time job. There is no way that can be done with my schedule and my kids. I was trying to prove a point that I could do this with no help. The truth is I can do this myself, I just can’t do forty pages each day. I have to learn to accept that one chapter a day is okay. It is progress and I forget that. Being able to do more than one chapter a day is great if I had more time than I actually do but I don’t. One chapter a day allows me to give each chapter the time and attention it deserves. The goal is to create a better book overall. That is the important part of editing, taking that first draft and making it better. I forgot that part in the first month of having my day job.

I guess the next question is what do I do to correct my mistake? The first step is accepting that Monday through Friday one chapter is good enough. It may not be what I want but it is acceptable. It means I am moving forward with the book, which is always the goal. The end goal is to publish each book and in order to do that you have to keep moving forward. Is it hard to change your way of thinking? Absolutely. Is it impossible? No. This past week I am learning to tell myself good job getting that chapter done today. I want to do more. I want to live in Savannah’s world all the time. I want to engross myself in it but I can’t. I get a small moment of the day to work with Savannah before I have to face the reality of my day. I would love to say I get stuff done at night but most nights I don’t. I have two kids, homework to do, dinners to make, karate to go to. I don’t have the time. The fact I’m getting anything done during the week is a win and I need to remember that.

The other part I need to correct is not just my expectations for myself and my way of thinking, I need to think of what’s best for the book. The best thing for the book is making sure I do the job as writer correctly. I need to stop thinking about what I should be able to accomplish and think about what needs to be accomplished. Again changing my way of thinking. When I had all day, to write it was easy to get forty pages edited, I had the time while my kids were in school. I don’t have that luxury now, I write and edit before I go to work. That means I have about an hour to an hour and a half to get some work done. There is no way I can do forty pages in that time. Well, I guess I could but it will not be done well. I’m a firm believer in the thought, if you are going to do something, do it well. Put forth every bit of your effort in order to do the best that you can. The first edit on book four is not my best work and I know it.

The last part of fixing my mistake is doing what I should have done the first time. I am taking my time and doing the job right. It’s frustrating that I screwed up. It’s even more frustrating that this feels more like a first edit instead of a second edit. That feeling is part of my consequences for rushing the edit that I have to accept. At this point, I am looking at this edit as my first edit. It may mean I have to do one more edit than I normally do. Okay, I will have to do an extra edit but that’s just the way it is, I accept that I have a lot more work ahead of me. The bright side is I realized my mistake now instead of during the third edit. That would have been embarrassing and unacceptable. It also means that the first edit of book five will be better because of what I have learned from my mistake. That is even better news.

So as I told you, don’t rush the edit or you will be in the same boat I am in currently. Take the time you need. Dedicate your best efforts to doing your best. Accept that you may have a few limitations because some things cannot be controlled in life. And above all else own it when you make a mistake, it’s the only way to move forward and correct yourself. Until next time!