Reflecting on zen and mojo

Merry Christmas Eve! I'm the first one up, eleven others sleeping soundly throughout my house. I have no idea what visions are dancing through their heads, but we had a wonderful Christmas eve eve dinner last night. So many beautiful moments, from the only girls dancing around with their big teddy bears to the two youngest boys playing bean bag toss with the game their grandfather built for them. (Painted OU red and white.)
I'm reflective by nature, but even more so this time of year. It's been tough, hasn't it? For me, the year started with a quick sale on our home and downsizing with several mini-disasters along the way. With every challenge, opportunity, growth.
Materially, I got rid of junk. A necessity when you are downsizing nearly a thousand square feet, but I did it for inner space, too. I got trees, birds, squirrels. I got quiet mornings meditating on the back deck. I embraced zen through more hardship - my husband's chronic back pain, my sister's husband's sudden passing and the stress of all that goes with starting a new life. There is peace through pain. We shouldn't be surprised that dark times can happen concurrently with light ones. We were celebrating one sister's new marriage and newfound happiness the same weekend that my other sister's husband died.
I regularly questioned myself and wondered if I was on the right track. Even though I was pursuing the things I felt were my soulful purpose, it didn't come easily. Self-doubt and rocky paths made my journey more difficult. Hold on to mojo with both hands and don't let go.
My mind and spirit may in sync, but the dishes and the laundry don't give a rat's ass about my aspirations. Duty and destiny must find a way to live in harmony.
When two of my best friends moved out of state this year, I struggled with feeling sorry for myself, only to come around to the grace of technology and modern communication. We'll share the same molecules soon and it will be rich.
As usual, my brain wants to control my being, but I've learned to hush the noise, relish in stillness and come back at my life list with more zest than if I'd give in to my Type A tendencies and obsessions when they hit. Still, I think too much.
This year I let myself play and experiment. I learned a great deal about publishing and pushed past my comfort zone. Next year will bring me closer and closer to world domination inner peace and celebrating stories through branding, Buzz Books and new projects. I'm currently updating my first novel, The Stork Reality, adding the sub-title: Secrets of the Underbelly to release as an ebook and find a new mommy audience; begin my YA career using the pen name Lena Brown, with the launch of my contemporary humorous mythology series, Goddess Girls, and my next women's fiction novel, Second Acts. I'm also thrilled about sharing small business advice with the Little Brand series. I'll be announcing authors soon.
Thank you for reading and I hope your year end reflection brings you enlightenment and renewed mojo for 2012. You could enjoy pictures of paradise all year long with the Life's a Beach contest - just like the Buzz Books facebook page to get entered to win a beach calendar and a Buzz Book 2012 release of your choice!