HST Digest: 5/10/18
4/29: Poetry by John D Robinson
5/1: Poetry by Ben Newell
5/2: Poetry by Gwil James Thomas
5/5: Poetry by Scott Simmons
5/7: Poetry by Ben John Smith
5/8: Poetry by Josh Dale
5/10: Poetry by Casey Renee Kiser
See also:
HST Digest: 4/28/18
HST Digest: 4/19/18
HST Digest: 4/9/18
HST Digest: 3/27/18
HST Digest: 3/15/18
HST Digest: 3/4/18
HST Digest: 2/16/18
HST Digest: 2/7/18
HST Digest: 1/27/18
HST Digest: 1/17/18
HST Digest: 1/1/18
HST Digest: 12/7/17
HST Digest: 11/20/17
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Or imagine Leo; you know the knots upside the bald head Leo, put there by a serious ugly stick; and you're stuck in a room with him, and he's prattling on about how it doesn't bother him that he was so huge a disappointment and embarrassment to his family and how he uses his writing acumen to extract the unconscious element within himself, which everyone else knew like two decades ago.
I did try to get caught up on this thread--if only to spot instances of my name getting mentioned--but I began developing a severe headache only about 20 comments in, at which point I gave up.So I guess I just dropped by to say fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu to all the UNTOWARD INDIVIDUALS in this godforsaken world!!! You know who you are. >:/
Douglas wrote; "I did try to get caught up on this thread--if only to spot instances of my name getting mentioned--but I began developing a severe headache only about 20 comments in, at which point I gave up."
You, of all people should know by now how tough it is to be a star.
You, of all people should know by now how tough it is to be a star.
Jeff wrote: "edward drobinski is a blowjob coward"
This fuckass Edward Drobinski does not specialize in blowjob cowardice. He's quite the generalist.
This fuckass Edward Drobinski does not specialize in blowjob cowardice. He's quite the generalist.
Today, we have a survey we'd appreciate your completing, or pulling out just prior; your choice. It has come to our attention that attitudes about wazoo ingestion can be quite varied from the POV of the wazoo ingestor. So, in the interest and clarity of science please supply the lie of your preference.
1) While wazoo worshipping, do you most often think about God, the laundry list, the grocery list, or where the big and little hands reside on your wristwatch?
2) Do you seek to enhance the experience through smartphone manipulation?
3) Did you ever text something akin to; "You were right, Ellen. He is a worm."
4) While on you knees, do you insist on facing Mecca?
5) Do you give the wazoo a little washing or do you prefer the taste and smell produced by its cohabitation with his draws?
6) Do you consider the wazoo to be a sentient being?
7) Do you consider what is attached to the wazoo to be a sentient being?
8) Does 6) or 7) matter to you?
9) If you sketched the wazoo would it look more like a deflated balloon or a diseased amphibian?
10) Do you object to some of the words used to describe your favorite activity or do you find them to be twat moisturizers?
11) Did you anticipate and practice for your day of glory with Febreze air freshener dispensers?
12) Have you e-mailed your parents a photo?
13) Do you gargle before swallowing?
14) Does it really taste like Clorox?
15) Would you like to try a different brand?
16) Do you find the wazoo wizz you've been getting has been an acne deterrent, a source of popularity, and builder of confidence?
17) Would you pay $10 plus shipping for a bottle of "Anonymous Wazoo Wiz?"
Thank you for your anticipated courtesy. Be assured that your lying responses will be put all over the net with your picture.
Wazoo Johnson
Vice President
Masters and Johnson
1) While wazoo worshipping, do you most often think about God, the laundry list, the grocery list, or where the big and little hands reside on your wristwatch?
2) Do you seek to enhance the experience through smartphone manipulation?
3) Did you ever text something akin to; "You were right, Ellen. He is a worm."
4) While on you knees, do you insist on facing Mecca?
5) Do you give the wazoo a little washing or do you prefer the taste and smell produced by its cohabitation with his draws?
6) Do you consider the wazoo to be a sentient being?
7) Do you consider what is attached to the wazoo to be a sentient being?
8) Does 6) or 7) matter to you?
9) If you sketched the wazoo would it look more like a deflated balloon or a diseased amphibian?
10) Do you object to some of the words used to describe your favorite activity or do you find them to be twat moisturizers?
11) Did you anticipate and practice for your day of glory with Febreze air freshener dispensers?
12) Have you e-mailed your parents a photo?
13) Do you gargle before swallowing?
14) Does it really taste like Clorox?
15) Would you like to try a different brand?
16) Do you find the wazoo wizz you've been getting has been an acne deterrent, a source of popularity, and builder of confidence?
17) Would you pay $10 plus shipping for a bottle of "Anonymous Wazoo Wiz?"
Thank you for your anticipated courtesy. Be assured that your lying responses will be put all over the net with your picture.
Wazoo Johnson
Vice President
Masters and Johnson
We have to admit that initial responses from the schlong smoochers have been disappointing. it is our fault, in that we did not specify that responses were sought only from female ozone osculators.
Thank you Jeff, Leo, and Douglas; maybe next time dudes ....... errr, dudettes. You see, right now, the Neanderthals still seem to think that there are two different kinds of wazoos, and that it has some unexplainable relevance; and if we don't get the yahoos to buy this book; certainly there will be pictures and drawings; we'll go broke waiting for financial sustenance from the cheap ass (I want a free book,) "literate" GR deviates.
So, come on all you twat-harbingers. Just tell us lies about your wang whooping wisdom and we'll up the ante. You will get a free book; hard copy; which you can sell on E-bay, and two, I say two free eight ounce bottles of Anonymous Wazoo Wizz, and we here at Masters and Johnson will eat the shipping. What more can a piggish penis pro ask?
Thank you Jeff, Leo, and Douglas; maybe next time dudes ....... errr, dudettes. You see, right now, the Neanderthals still seem to think that there are two different kinds of wazoos, and that it has some unexplainable relevance; and if we don't get the yahoos to buy this book; certainly there will be pictures and drawings; we'll go broke waiting for financial sustenance from the cheap ass (I want a free book,) "literate" GR deviates.
So, come on all you twat-harbingers. Just tell us lies about your wang whooping wisdom and we'll up the ante. You will get a free book; hard copy; which you can sell on E-bay, and two, I say two free eight ounce bottles of Anonymous Wazoo Wizz, and we here at Masters and Johnson will eat the shipping. What more can a piggish penis pro ask?
The horror. The horror attendant to being deprived of a flute toodler for three agonizing days. Don't be shy ladies. We really respect you with that jism face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HihJq...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HihJq...
Jeff wrote: "bradley sands is a blowjob champion"
Suspected that you two "liked" each other.
Suspected that you two "liked" each other.
SlimeFakeFake wrote: "schlong smoocher" [...] "flute toodler" [...] "piggish penis pro"You sure seem to think about flute toodling pretty dang often, don'tcha?
I cannot win here. Less than two weeks ago you accused me of having a fascination with man butt.
Believe me. I AM COMPLETELY SEXLESS IN MIND AND BODY. I'm just trying to fit in and be popular. Jeez.
Believe me. I AM COMPLETELY SEXLESS IN MIND AND BODY. I'm just trying to fit in and be popular. Jeez.
u guys are so kind to spend your valuable time entertaining the mentally ill
Man, you know many obscure ones. Take it in the sense of Heller's book, the sound fine. Someone on YouTube made a comparison to Lynnrd Skynnrd. Would have to hear more.
"Whiskey bottle, brand new car, oak tree in my way."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hib4n...
"Whiskey bottle, brand new car, oak tree in my way."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hib4n...
Amazon review of 'Christmas Visitor' by Edward Drobinski:1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing.
December 31, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Edward Drobinski, Christmas Visitor -
My grandkids and I didn't care for the way this good idea was executed. Besides needing major editing, the story didn't flow well and the author didn't bring the miracles and magic of Christmas to the readers in the end.
One of my boys said a schoolkid probably wrote this. Skip, there's better story out there written my real storytellers."
And here I was actually contemplating the possibility of purchasing multiple copies of this book to give to my family and friends. However, now that I know "the author didn't bring the miracles and magic of Christmas to the readers in the end," I think I'll pass on this BIG GIANT TURD.
Ian wrote: "https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1MIztbe..."
Strange. Learned some history, and they are bigger than the views of that first one indicated.
Strange. Learned some history, and they are bigger than the views of that first one indicated.
Douglas wrote: "Amazon review of 'Christmas Visitor' by Edward Drobinski:
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing.
December 31, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Edward Drobinski, Christmas Visitor -
My gra..."
Yeah. Just saw that one for the first time this month, though it was done 12-17. Wrote something here about it. Not defensive. Losing context. I was kind of trying to say; "Don't let stuff bother you." Some people, in fact most probably will not like your book, and most often it's just a matter of wanting to see a cowboy movie rather than something based in NYC. If not one of those "I didn't like it" ones, reviews usually tell me more about the reviewer than the book. In this case the guy wanted to have a traditional Santa Claus- Jesus type of Christmas book to read his grandkids and it's not that. It's more about people finding the spirit and magic within themselves. He added on that one kid said; "Sounds like kid wrote it," but so what?
One of my favorite reviews was an early one which is now gone. The lady said; "Overly complex words and sentence structures to convey simple thoughts." I really laughed as that had a lot of truth in it.
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing.
December 31, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Edward Drobinski, Christmas Visitor -
My gra..."
Yeah. Just saw that one for the first time this month, though it was done 12-17. Wrote something here about it. Not defensive. Losing context. I was kind of trying to say; "Don't let stuff bother you." Some people, in fact most probably will not like your book, and most often it's just a matter of wanting to see a cowboy movie rather than something based in NYC. If not one of those "I didn't like it" ones, reviews usually tell me more about the reviewer than the book. In this case the guy wanted to have a traditional Santa Claus- Jesus type of Christmas book to read his grandkids and it's not that. It's more about people finding the spirit and magic within themselves. He added on that one kid said; "Sounds like kid wrote it," but so what?
One of my favorite reviews was an early one which is now gone. The lady said; "Overly complex words and sentence structures to convey simple thoughts." I really laughed as that had a lot of truth in it.
SH: .......................
DT: Thanks for having me, Shaun. I’m truly honored to be on one of the few shows which still allows heterosexual white men to fairly present their views.
SH: .............................
DT: Donnie? I’m glad you brought that up. First, let me say that some vicious words are being bandied about by the biased. Oligarch, treason, and collusion. No one at that meeting was an official of the Russian government. So, where’s the oligarch, the treason in talking with private citizens from a friend nation, and since nothing came of it, they must have colluded to do nothing. My attorneys advise this is not illegal and also very common.
SH: ...............................
DT: OK, but no one can prove the existence of a Russian Mafia. In fact these words are on the list of offenses enforced by the Politically Correct Police.
SH: .......................
DT: Look, Shaun. Between me and you, these Rooskies don’t know nothing about nothing. They don’t have the IQ’s we do. Must be frozen brain or something, but whatever. I mean like they set off nuclear devices in their own country. Like, duh? Everyone else knows that they’re made to be dropped elsewhere.
SH: .................................
DT: Oh yeah, Donnie. Like every other kid born after 1912, Donnie doesn’t pay any attention to his parents. Just goes off and does whatever he feels like doing.
SH: ................................
DT: I did talk to him about it; afterwards of course. He told me that he was just looking for some of that extraciricular rump bump bump, like the old man. You know what I mean. Hehehe. This Rooskie chick bimbo attorney who’s been playing both sides of the ocean was there.
SH: ..........................
DT: Yeah, I reminded him that Manhattan is full of those escort services with bimbo Rooskies, but he told me that this one was really pushing for the meeting and that the old wazoo was doing a 180. Waddya gonna do; you know? Commit a crime against nature?
SH: ......................
DT: Right. So, we got all of this garbage. But, keep in mind that Mueller didn’t get this job or his prior one without the approval of the right minded Republicans. They love me. And he’s been grandstanding for more than a year now by indicting people who are not under US jurisdiction. I often picture that process server in Minsk, asking where 466 Carcinogen Terrace was, and being told to make a right after the nuclear dump. Hehehehe. Scuse me; that one always gets me. And that Cohen ransack? Anything found there is automatically inadmissible because of the illegal search and seizure. The Libtards can have as many orgasms as they’d like reading through all that. But, if they find anything, phhhttt.
SH: ......................
DT: Yeah, he can get a little too big for his britches sometimes; but you have to admit that he is great with that pious straight face. I’d be cracking up. And just in case, we got Rudy on board and he talked to him about the facts of life.
SH: .........................
DT: Genovese, I believe; but he’s tight with the others too.
SH: ..........................
DT: We actually did consider that as an option; but ultimately decided that the American people had not heard the truth for so long, that there was no telling how they’d react to it. Most likely they’d say that we were lying, and that would cause a potload of other problems. So, we went with the standardized “investigation” crapola.
SH: .......................
DT: No lie there. It sure as hell is all mine. I just never specified the date.
SH: .......................
DT: And thank you for having me, Shaun. ............ Errrr. You know what I mean.
DT: Thanks for having me, Shaun. I’m truly honored to be on one of the few shows which still allows heterosexual white men to fairly present their views.
SH: .............................
DT: Donnie? I’m glad you brought that up. First, let me say that some vicious words are being bandied about by the biased. Oligarch, treason, and collusion. No one at that meeting was an official of the Russian government. So, where’s the oligarch, the treason in talking with private citizens from a friend nation, and since nothing came of it, they must have colluded to do nothing. My attorneys advise this is not illegal and also very common.
SH: ...............................
DT: OK, but no one can prove the existence of a Russian Mafia. In fact these words are on the list of offenses enforced by the Politically Correct Police.
SH: .......................
DT: Look, Shaun. Between me and you, these Rooskies don’t know nothing about nothing. They don’t have the IQ’s we do. Must be frozen brain or something, but whatever. I mean like they set off nuclear devices in their own country. Like, duh? Everyone else knows that they’re made to be dropped elsewhere.
SH: .................................
DT: Oh yeah, Donnie. Like every other kid born after 1912, Donnie doesn’t pay any attention to his parents. Just goes off and does whatever he feels like doing.
SH: ................................
DT: I did talk to him about it; afterwards of course. He told me that he was just looking for some of that extraciricular rump bump bump, like the old man. You know what I mean. Hehehe. This Rooskie chick bimbo attorney who’s been playing both sides of the ocean was there.
SH: ..........................
DT: Yeah, I reminded him that Manhattan is full of those escort services with bimbo Rooskies, but he told me that this one was really pushing for the meeting and that the old wazoo was doing a 180. Waddya gonna do; you know? Commit a crime against nature?
SH: ......................
DT: Right. So, we got all of this garbage. But, keep in mind that Mueller didn’t get this job or his prior one without the approval of the right minded Republicans. They love me. And he’s been grandstanding for more than a year now by indicting people who are not under US jurisdiction. I often picture that process server in Minsk, asking where 466 Carcinogen Terrace was, and being told to make a right after the nuclear dump. Hehehehe. Scuse me; that one always gets me. And that Cohen ransack? Anything found there is automatically inadmissible because of the illegal search and seizure. The Libtards can have as many orgasms as they’d like reading through all that. But, if they find anything, phhhttt.
SH: ......................
DT: Yeah, he can get a little too big for his britches sometimes; but you have to admit that he is great with that pious straight face. I’d be cracking up. And just in case, we got Rudy on board and he talked to him about the facts of life.
SH: .........................
DT: Genovese, I believe; but he’s tight with the others too.
SH: ..........................
DT: We actually did consider that as an option; but ultimately decided that the American people had not heard the truth for so long, that there was no telling how they’d react to it. Most likely they’d say that we were lying, and that would cause a potload of other problems. So, we went with the standardized “investigation” crapola.
SH: .......................
DT: No lie there. It sure as hell is all mine. I just never specified the date.
SH: .......................
DT: And thank you for having me, Shaun. ............ Errrr. You know what I mean.
Uh oh. Must be getting plastered. I had previously mentioned that I wanted to thank everyone who might be posting congratulatory reviews of my unworthy humiliations, as it would take too long to check exactly wherein that honor subsided. But, alas, through my gleaning of aggregates, it seems apparent that now my secret reviewers have changed their mind(s) and choose to disparage me.
I just have one question. Dear sir or madam; Do you believe that your arguably correct notions of truth and fairness are more important than my consequent depression, tears, and likely suicide?
I ask you; "What good is truth if it is not crowned with an absurdly false halo of kindness?"
Of more significance, I wonder if you realize and care that your truthful judgments of my inadequacy do not end with the brutalization and derision of humble, miniscule, and insignificant me. Nay. Nay, I say unto thee. It ripples and multiplies.
In other words, I was going to write a phony complimentary review of one of the retarded Sands' books; but I am now too forlorn to undertake the jovial farce. And because of that Brad will not go out of his way to be nice to his husband, who in turn will stick his ignored whatsis out the bathroom window, providing an opportunity for a Bizarro photographer to mistake the miniscule oddity as something publishable on HST, photograph it, attracting the attention of the two cruising cops who would otherwise have been contented with licking the donut residue from the hands now inclined to grease a gun, and ..................
Just fuck the long story. It's your fault and you suck.
I just have one question. Dear sir or madam; Do you believe that your arguably correct notions of truth and fairness are more important than my consequent depression, tears, and likely suicide?
I ask you; "What good is truth if it is not crowned with an absurdly false halo of kindness?"
Of more significance, I wonder if you realize and care that your truthful judgments of my inadequacy do not end with the brutalization and derision of humble, miniscule, and insignificant me. Nay. Nay, I say unto thee. It ripples and multiplies.
In other words, I was going to write a phony complimentary review of one of the retarded Sands' books; but I am now too forlorn to undertake the jovial farce. And because of that Brad will not go out of his way to be nice to his husband, who in turn will stick his ignored whatsis out the bathroom window, providing an opportunity for a Bizarro photographer to mistake the miniscule oddity as something publishable on HST, photograph it, attracting the attention of the two cruising cops who would otherwise have been contented with licking the donut residue from the hands now inclined to grease a gun, and ..................
Just fuck the long story. It's your fault and you suck.
From AOL. The Texas shooter has said that he only shot the ones he didn't like. IDK. Seems a fair way to differentiate between good and evil. A tad judgmental to the critics, I suppose, but, hey, you know, if no one else is going to make the big decisions, the obligation is conferred.
Lump head Leo wrote; "If you’re a reader, writer, creative type, someone with something to say, you can always get in touch with me using losingtheplotpodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. I look forward to hearing from you!"
If I were a reader, writer, creative type or someone with something to say why on earth would I want to?
If I were a reader, writer, creative type or someone with something to say why on earth would I want to?
do u write yourself fake negative reviews about how u have grandkids. super weird, bro
No. Not bright enough to have thought of the benefits of that one.
Arthur Graham is my only grandchild, and I fully respect his embarrassment and reticence at that being known.
I think your sentence was at least one step weirder, but cannot be certain.
Arthur Graham is my only grandchild, and I fully respect his embarrassment and reticence at that being known.
I think your sentence was at least one step weirder, but cannot be certain.
Submitted in hopes of resurrecting the HST interview series.
LT: ................
RG: Glad to be here Mr. Tard. Sorry for the lateness. The Bensonhurt Orphans Movement annual charity event ran late. You just can’t walk out on those sweet kids.
LT: ..........................
RG: As you may know, my prominent client is being unfairly accused of scurrilous activities, and I’ve been hired to zip things up, so to speak.
LT: .........................
RG: There is no subpoena. There is no reason for any subpoena. And, even if there is, my client is above any such plebian considerations.
LT: ...................
RG: Everyone keeps bringing up that blurb taken out of context from a doctored tape. I just happen to have that in entirety, and your people will now play it. “Insofar as Mr. Clinton is not my client, thereby leaving me with a complete lack of knowledge of the case; and whereas there has been testimony alleging the performance of numerable number twos in the Oval Office, which has not yet been substantiated, the residue of Mr. Clinton’s alleged jizz on Ms. Lewinsky’s dress, as per Ms. Lewinsky, and insofar as Mr. Clinton is not required to supply any DNA under the doctrine that it might tie him to alleged liaisons with other irrelevant money grubbing bimbos, for the purposes of personally appearing congenial to the press; my lack of knowledge of both the specifics of the case, the law, if any behind the commission of alleged number twos in the Oval Office, coupled with my suspicion that Mr. Clinton appeared to be holding it, notwithstanding my possible error, on a pragmatic basis it seems that HE JUST HAS TO GO IF SUBPEONAED.” But of course, the vengeful Libtards choose to go with a convenient slogan. It is truly appalling.
LT: ...................
RG: Well, a change of attire was required in the middle of all that, and those old cameras had a way of making people look twenty years older than they really were.
LT: ....................
RG: So what?
LT: ...........
RG: So effing what?
LT: .......................
RG: You’re really starting to piss me off. I don’t know why the hell I’m expected to sit here and discuss legalities with someone who majored in Journalism, as if there was anything to learn about it Matt Lauer couldn’t convey in three viewings. Send out a lawyer or shut up.
LT: .....................
RG: Look; bottom line; no way in hell is my client going unless they drag him out with a force capable of obliterating shithole countries.
LT: ...........................
RG: Cut the stupid questions.
LT: ....................
RG: You know the real reason.
LT: .......................
RG: Cause he’s a fucking Republican, schmuck.
LT: ........................
RG: Hey, Boleslav from Petropavlosk-Kamchatsky just asked me to hold it for him. And one of you guys with elephantitis of the proboscis and a hand held was around. And that’s rubles, Mr. Journalism Ace.
LT: ........................
RG: You lookin’ to take a car ride with Nunzio, Carmine, and Burn Man Bonnano? Straightened out Mueller’s misinformed ass real quick.
LT: ...................
RG: That’s more like it. Good man. Sometimes you just have to re-think things.
LT: ................
RG: Glad to be here Mr. Tard. Sorry for the lateness. The Bensonhurt Orphans Movement annual charity event ran late. You just can’t walk out on those sweet kids.
LT: ..........................
RG: As you may know, my prominent client is being unfairly accused of scurrilous activities, and I’ve been hired to zip things up, so to speak.
LT: .........................
RG: There is no subpoena. There is no reason for any subpoena. And, even if there is, my client is above any such plebian considerations.
LT: ...................
RG: Everyone keeps bringing up that blurb taken out of context from a doctored tape. I just happen to have that in entirety, and your people will now play it. “Insofar as Mr. Clinton is not my client, thereby leaving me with a complete lack of knowledge of the case; and whereas there has been testimony alleging the performance of numerable number twos in the Oval Office, which has not yet been substantiated, the residue of Mr. Clinton’s alleged jizz on Ms. Lewinsky’s dress, as per Ms. Lewinsky, and insofar as Mr. Clinton is not required to supply any DNA under the doctrine that it might tie him to alleged liaisons with other irrelevant money grubbing bimbos, for the purposes of personally appearing congenial to the press; my lack of knowledge of both the specifics of the case, the law, if any behind the commission of alleged number twos in the Oval Office, coupled with my suspicion that Mr. Clinton appeared to be holding it, notwithstanding my possible error, on a pragmatic basis it seems that HE JUST HAS TO GO IF SUBPEONAED.” But of course, the vengeful Libtards choose to go with a convenient slogan. It is truly appalling.
LT: ...................
RG: Well, a change of attire was required in the middle of all that, and those old cameras had a way of making people look twenty years older than they really were.
LT: ....................
RG: So what?
LT: ...........
RG: So effing what?
LT: .......................
RG: You’re really starting to piss me off. I don’t know why the hell I’m expected to sit here and discuss legalities with someone who majored in Journalism, as if there was anything to learn about it Matt Lauer couldn’t convey in three viewings. Send out a lawyer or shut up.
LT: .....................
RG: Look; bottom line; no way in hell is my client going unless they drag him out with a force capable of obliterating shithole countries.
LT: ...........................
RG: Cut the stupid questions.
LT: ....................
RG: You know the real reason.
LT: .......................
RG: Cause he’s a fucking Republican, schmuck.
LT: ........................
RG: Hey, Boleslav from Petropavlosk-Kamchatsky just asked me to hold it for him. And one of you guys with elephantitis of the proboscis and a hand held was around. And that’s rubles, Mr. Journalism Ace.
LT: ........................
RG: You lookin’ to take a car ride with Nunzio, Carmine, and Burn Man Bonnano? Straightened out Mueller’s misinformed ass real quick.
LT: ...................
RG: That’s more like it. Good man. Sometimes you just have to re-think things.
Douglas wrote; "And here I was actually contemplating the possibility of purchasing multiple copies of this book to give to my family and friends. However, now that I know "the author didn't bring the miracles and magic of Christmas to the readers in the end," I think I'll pass on this BIG GIANT TURD."
While it is true that 99% of the time I am completely unaffected by other's evaluations of my codger hobby, most compelled by a firey desire to sit, there are times like these wherein I am truly saddened by how I have disappointed other codgers I do not know, nor want to; coupled with the attendant ball-less decisions made by minor acquaintances who rely on the poor assessment of the codger other than me, to deprive me of almost $10. I cry as hindered by the clouds of gray, rain, snow, sleet, and otherwise unmemorable providers of that feeling book nerds associate with a tear jerker, and I am compelled to re-assess my humble and deficient place in life, trying to take sad solace solely in the solicitude standardly situated by the self contained, step by step stipulations of the Social Security system.
It is with sincere regret that I say; "Uppa U S, Doooooogie. Your loss, schwantz-face."
While it is true that 99% of the time I am completely unaffected by other's evaluations of my codger hobby, most compelled by a firey desire to sit, there are times like these wherein I am truly saddened by how I have disappointed other codgers I do not know, nor want to; coupled with the attendant ball-less decisions made by minor acquaintances who rely on the poor assessment of the codger other than me, to deprive me of almost $10. I cry as hindered by the clouds of gray, rain, snow, sleet, and otherwise unmemorable providers of that feeling book nerds associate with a tear jerker, and I am compelled to re-assess my humble and deficient place in life, trying to take sad solace solely in the solicitude standardly situated by the self contained, step by step stipulations of the Social Security system.
It is with sincere regret that I say; "Uppa U S, Doooooogie. Your loss, schwantz-face."
Some things are condemned to make an embarrassing comeback if no one was paying attention the first time through. Sigh. Sad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JfJl...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JfJl...
Leah Mueller is featured on HST today. I believe that I said something positive about her previously; so I guess that either she or AG were dumb enough to come back for a revision. What was posted today seemed different than what I remembered of last time, maybe just because of the political nature of one of the three. Let me defer to an edited description on HST.
Leah Mueller is an indie writer from Tacoma, Washington. She is the author of two chapbooks, “Queen of Dorksville” and "Political Apnea” and three books, “Allergic to Everything”, “Beach Dweller Manifesto” and “The Underside of the Snake.” Her work appears or is forthcoming in various publications. She was a featured poet at the 2015 New York Poetry Festival, and a runner-up in the 2012 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest.
When a writer is prolific, it is virtually impossible to write any kind of assessment of that person, and to do an individual poem results in a possible reader conclusion that this single thing is typical.
After seeing 5 or 6 I'd say that Leah generally speaks of her attitude toward sex-love, though that will vary a bit and otherwise make sense excepting one thing I really don't want to bring up; just an initial surprise which would take much too long to explain, and probably be wrong anyway.
So, IDK, right now I'm thinking that to put any portions of Leah's work here will likely do it a disservice; and you're just going to have to go visit her at HST. Do yourself a favor.
Leah Mueller is an indie writer from Tacoma, Washington. She is the author of two chapbooks, “Queen of Dorksville” and "Political Apnea” and three books, “Allergic to Everything”, “Beach Dweller Manifesto” and “The Underside of the Snake.” Her work appears or is forthcoming in various publications. She was a featured poet at the 2015 New York Poetry Festival, and a runner-up in the 2012 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest.
When a writer is prolific, it is virtually impossible to write any kind of assessment of that person, and to do an individual poem results in a possible reader conclusion that this single thing is typical.
After seeing 5 or 6 I'd say that Leah generally speaks of her attitude toward sex-love, though that will vary a bit and otherwise make sense excepting one thing I really don't want to bring up; just an initial surprise which would take much too long to explain, and probably be wrong anyway.
So, IDK, right now I'm thinking that to put any portions of Leah's work here will likely do it a disservice; and you're just going to have to go visit her at HST. Do yourself a favor.
Douglas wrote; "I did try to get caught up on this thread--if only to spot instances of my name getting mentioned--but I began developing a severe headache only about 20 comments in, at which point I gave up."
That is surely understandable. However, if you wish to be a big boy writer someday, you'll have to stop quitting that easily.
That is surely understandable. However, if you wish to be a big boy writer someday, you'll have to stop quitting that easily.
SlimeFakeFake wrote: "Bradley wrote; "do u write yourself fake negative reviews about how u have grandkids. super weird, bro"Not yet. If you tarry you might have the material for another surreal, mini-book, masterpiec..."
Haha. Hey, don't be bitter just cuz you failed to "bring the miracles and magic of Christmas to the readers."
Failure to "bring the miracles and magic of Christmas to the reader" = AN UNKIND PERSON!!Humph! >:(
Another artistic dilemma has foisted it's petard upon me. Nobody any longer gets upset when I troll them. They either just titter at me or make witty responses. I'd like not to think that I'm getting too old to upset even the GR crew. Damn.
Well, congratulations Mr. Graham. You totally fucked up the post and status leading to John D. Robinson. THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN URL SOMEWHERE, NUMNUTZ. Purple wet raspberries, even I know that, without being some big shit publisher.
Fuckitall. Jus fuckitall. John D. don't need no help from the likes of you. John D. can get his shit put anywhere he wants his shit to be. Comprende? I've seen plenty and this is one funny ass dude, who if he saw you giggling would say; "Watchew laughin'about mufugga?"
Hey, I ain't one to play no shit with him. So, just watch it, asshole.
Fuckitall. Jus fuckitall. John D. don't need no help from the likes of you. John D. can get his shit put anywhere he wants his shit to be. Comprende? I've seen plenty and this is one funny ass dude, who if he saw you giggling would say; "Watchew laughin'about mufugga?"
Hey, I ain't one to play no shit with him. So, just watch it, asshole.
SlimeFakeFake wrote: "You totally fucked up the post and status leading to John D. Robinson. THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN URL SOMEWHERE, NUMNUTZ."It's called a hyperlink, bozo. I know you're still learning to internet and all, but geez, come the fuck on already...
Arthur wrote; "It's called a hyperlink, bozo. I know you're still learning to internet and all, but geez, come the fuck on already... "
Whatever you want to call it, the mufugga ain't there. Shit. You be one of dem college boys?
Whatever you want to call it, the mufugga ain't there. Shit. You be one of dem college boys?
My apologies to Bradley. For the nothing it's worth I saw the beginning of "Liquid Status," and thought it was extremely well written with a sophistication sometimes found in the heaviest of po-mo's.
Think Arthur and Douglas are used to my bullshit, otherwise I'd be compelled to say that they did something marginally acceptable, too.
Think Arthur and Douglas are used to my bullshit, otherwise I'd be compelled to say that they did something marginally acceptable, too.
Perhaps with some degree of seriousness, Arthur wrote; "Come the fuck on already."
Yeah, I know how to get to John D, either with the hyperlink on the first page of the blog or directly through HST. Thing was that I got an idea for a review, I hoped would be funny and mildly if at all offensive. Guess it didn't work.
I promise not to do it again until tomorrow.
Yeah, I know how to get to John D, either with the hyperlink on the first page of the blog or directly through HST. Thing was that I got an idea for a review, I hoped would be funny and mildly if at all offensive. Guess it didn't work.
I promise not to do it again until tomorrow.
Concerning "Christmas Visitor," Douglas wrote; "Failure to "bring the miracles and magic of Christmas to the reader." Here's the end of the 5,600 words. Could have expanded it a lot, but didn't for many reasons, no one would want to hear.
The kids performed their magic judiciously and played on the grounds of Don’s empty house.
A five year old boy, Timmy, with multiple sclerosis, had been watching all the action from his window in the room where he had spent most of his life. He never went out and spent his days and nights with his furry white bunny, Snookers. He loved the bunny and wished that it didn’t have to spend all its time in one room like him. He knew how bad it felt and didn’t want his lifelong friend to endure the same punishment he experienced with his inability to walk and play. He cried as he looked at Snookers and wished with all his might that his only friend could have a life.
Snookers, the rabbit moved his legs and Timmy let him outside, but the boy couldn’t follow on his crutches. The puzzled rabbit spent two days near the house waiting for his friend, not understanding why he was put out. The boy saw him and wanted to chase him away so that Snookers could live a full life with the other rabbits. Timmy tried to go outside and fell in the snow. Snookers now understood and wished that his friend, Timmy, would be well. Timmy stood and took four unsure steps, laughing and crying at the same time. Leaving the crutches in the snow, he walked the rest of the way to waiting Snookers. They heard carolers singing “Oh Come All Ye Faithful” reminding them that it was Christmas morning.
Gabrielle watched from a lofty perch in a tall oak tree and thought that it was great. She kept her horn in her back pocket.
Only the Beginning
The kids performed their magic judiciously and played on the grounds of Don’s empty house.
A five year old boy, Timmy, with multiple sclerosis, had been watching all the action from his window in the room where he had spent most of his life. He never went out and spent his days and nights with his furry white bunny, Snookers. He loved the bunny and wished that it didn’t have to spend all its time in one room like him. He knew how bad it felt and didn’t want his lifelong friend to endure the same punishment he experienced with his inability to walk and play. He cried as he looked at Snookers and wished with all his might that his only friend could have a life.
Snookers, the rabbit moved his legs and Timmy let him outside, but the boy couldn’t follow on his crutches. The puzzled rabbit spent two days near the house waiting for his friend, not understanding why he was put out. The boy saw him and wanted to chase him away so that Snookers could live a full life with the other rabbits. Timmy tried to go outside and fell in the snow. Snookers now understood and wished that his friend, Timmy, would be well. Timmy stood and took four unsure steps, laughing and crying at the same time. Leaving the crutches in the snow, he walked the rest of the way to waiting Snookers. They heard carolers singing “Oh Come All Ye Faithful” reminding them that it was Christmas morning.
Gabrielle watched from a lofty perch in a tall oak tree and thought that it was great. She kept her horn in her back pocket.
Only the Beginning
Since no one ever asked me how to cure writer's block I'll tell you. Just get away from the distractions. Find a private spot with no phone or internet access; and voila. To prove my point this was the precise approach taken by two big name contemporary writers; and as soon as they accomplished this their best stuff was behind them.
But, I think it works for me; as for the first time this year I've been reading about writers approaches to, difficulties with, and psychological benefits attained through typing shit on a keyboard. This sustained block is affecting me for the first time in seven this year, and the main difference is that I'm going through an extended period of necessary interruptions. It's like I'm not able to count on having more than 2 consecutive hours undisturbed. So, I don't even look at the current book and seek to use the time to disturb others on GR.
I can sympathize with you working stiffs, and fully understand why your books suck.
But, I think it works for me; as for the first time this year I've been reading about writers approaches to, difficulties with, and psychological benefits attained through typing shit on a keyboard. This sustained block is affecting me for the first time in seven this year, and the main difference is that I'm going through an extended period of necessary interruptions. It's like I'm not able to count on having more than 2 consecutive hours undisturbed. So, I don't even look at the current book and seek to use the time to disturb others on GR.
I can sympathize with you working stiffs, and fully understand why your books suck.
Despite the proof required by physicists, I have this stupid habit of making associations between things which happen at the same time; like I'm starting to think that when the light turns green the cars start moving.
While I have seen a few studies which declare that book reviews have zero to do with book sales, I've noticed that the dropoff in indie book sales coincided with the 2013 GR-Amazon brouhaha, which yadda, yadda, yadda, led GR reviewers to shun indie and small press books.
Personally I didn't give five flatulent flotation ferries about it, but they have now gotten insulting. In their search for "new" books they have resorted to reading old ones no one ever heard of, often poorly translated from another language. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with another language, they often change the order of a sentence. While an English sentence might be; "They spent the night staring at the moon," in Spanish this might come out something like; "The staring moon night they spent." And the GR reviewers make excuses for the writer, and proceed to the next staring moon, sometimes, amusingly to me, finding some sort of significant magic in the unintended garble.
So, maybe it would be of some help to indie and small press perpetrators to again have the GR reviewers review their books, and I've thought of a few things which might encourage this;
1) Say that you are dead. Not only does that always make your books better, but it also ensures the reviewer that no one will be braining them with wine bottles.
2) Write out a traditional review they can "take excerpts from" to alleviate their burden of having to actually read the book.
3) Make a deal. Say, for instance, 100 "likes" of other reviews equals a five star one of your book.
4) Do understand that like indie authors, many indie reviewers have un-lucrative genres and followings too. So, if you write about road kill it would probably be unproductive or even risking a bad review to send it to the lady who does the schmaltzy romance the gay guys read.
5) Put parts in bold, so they'll know which parts to copy.
6) Change your last name to Franzen or something like that, and stress that he's your older brother.
While I have seen a few studies which declare that book reviews have zero to do with book sales, I've noticed that the dropoff in indie book sales coincided with the 2013 GR-Amazon brouhaha, which yadda, yadda, yadda, led GR reviewers to shun indie and small press books.
Personally I didn't give five flatulent flotation ferries about it, but they have now gotten insulting. In their search for "new" books they have resorted to reading old ones no one ever heard of, often poorly translated from another language. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with another language, they often change the order of a sentence. While an English sentence might be; "They spent the night staring at the moon," in Spanish this might come out something like; "The staring moon night they spent." And the GR reviewers make excuses for the writer, and proceed to the next staring moon, sometimes, amusingly to me, finding some sort of significant magic in the unintended garble.
So, maybe it would be of some help to indie and small press perpetrators to again have the GR reviewers review their books, and I've thought of a few things which might encourage this;
1) Say that you are dead. Not only does that always make your books better, but it also ensures the reviewer that no one will be braining them with wine bottles.
2) Write out a traditional review they can "take excerpts from" to alleviate their burden of having to actually read the book.
3) Make a deal. Say, for instance, 100 "likes" of other reviews equals a five star one of your book.
4) Do understand that like indie authors, many indie reviewers have un-lucrative genres and followings too. So, if you write about road kill it would probably be unproductive or even risking a bad review to send it to the lady who does the schmaltzy romance the gay guys read.
5) Put parts in bold, so they'll know which parts to copy.
6) Change your last name to Franzen or something like that, and stress that he's your older brother.
I can do better. Imagine Jeff actually doing butt stuff and a brown juice is running down his hairy legs, as some of it dries up in every cellulite crevice.