Horror Sleaze Trash: Prose in Poor Taste
Horror Sleaze Trash: Prose in Poor Taste has finally arrived!This anthology includes over seventy pieces of short and flash fiction submitted to Horror, Sleaze and Trash over the years, from inception to this present day. There is no shortage of great talent to be found between these covers (50+ authors!), and it was my distinct privilege to compile it together.
Get the paperback here, entering your discount code (KCNJDZGB) for half off the list price.
And, as with all HST titles, the free ebook is available here.
VIVA LA HST!!!
Why do you guys pick on Frank Edler for small shit that other Bizarros get a pass on?
Never mind. Looked up some stuff. Frank never joined the five star circle jerk.
Cheers Frank and fuckem.
Never mind. Looked up some stuff. Frank never joined the five star circle jerk.
Cheers Frank and fuckem.
Poopy butts and also some sperms to ye all!What are we doing?
G wrote; "What are we doing?"
I'm just sitting by the laptop in my draws with some wine trying to select which item of literary merit I'll write here next.
You?
I'm just sitting by the laptop in my draws with some wine trying to select which item of literary merit I'll write here next.
You?
Here's the other copyrighted gem.
I noticed that in the course of one of your reviews you helped out the author, by suggesting he delete some word and put another one in its place, ostensibly (apparently) after you looked it up. I knew the word and didn't understand the fuss at first. But I'd like to return the favor.
There is one you often use which always throws me; solipsism or solopsism, solipsistic, et al, and even some other derivation. I don't know what that word means and have never heard it or read it in the course of 68 years. The first time I saw you use it I looked it up. Since I had forgotten what I read I did that the second and third times too. I'm not doing it again.
So, if you want to be an "accessible" writer, do yourself a favor and use another word. And don't tell me what it means because I NO LONGER GIVE THE SLIGHTEST OF FUCKS, YOU PRETENTIOUS BASTARD.
I noticed that in the course of one of your reviews you helped out the author, by suggesting he delete some word and put another one in its place, ostensibly (apparently) after you looked it up. I knew the word and didn't understand the fuss at first. But I'd like to return the favor.
There is one you often use which always throws me; solipsism or solopsism, solipsistic, et al, and even some other derivation. I don't know what that word means and have never heard it or read it in the course of 68 years. The first time I saw you use it I looked it up. Since I had forgotten what I read I did that the second and third times too. I'm not doing it again.
So, if you want to be an "accessible" writer, do yourself a favor and use another word. And don't tell me what it means because I NO LONGER GIVE THE SLIGHTEST OF FUCKS, YOU PRETENTIOUS BASTARD.
IDK and IDC if anyone likes this book. I'm doing G3 at the same time, but I'm remembering stuff I find funny.
Got about 5 this morning, the best of which was 2nd grade show and tell when an Italian kid brought in his father's gun and the bald headed gym teacher used it as an excuse to do a replay of his knife act wherein he says that we didn't need this stuff when he was a kid, strikes a boxing pose and starts jumping around, interspersed wit stories about training boxers in Puerto Rico.
Leyner's almost OK; but having grown up in the same place he oughta be able to come up with funny stuff once in a while.
Got about 5 this morning, the best of which was 2nd grade show and tell when an Italian kid brought in his father's gun and the bald headed gym teacher used it as an excuse to do a replay of his knife act wherein he says that we didn't need this stuff when he was a kid, strikes a boxing pose and starts jumping around, interspersed wit stories about training boxers in Puerto Rico.
Leyner's almost OK; but having grown up in the same place he oughta be able to come up with funny stuff once in a while.
G wrote; "Poopy butts and also some sperms to ye all! What are we doing?"
Thank you for the poopy butt wish. Boy, I wish.
As to what WE'RE doing, looks like I'M doing a fucking soliloqy again.
Hey, don't be intimidated, man. I'm not trolling on the trite shit anymore.
Thank you for the poopy butt wish. Boy, I wish.
As to what WE'RE doing, looks like I'M doing a fucking soliloqy again.
Hey, don't be intimidated, man. I'm not trolling on the trite shit anymore.
Mike590 wrote: "I NO LONGER GIVE THE SLIGHTEST OF FUCKS, YOU PRETENTIOUS BASTARD"F U IN THE A MOTHER EFFER
G. wrote: "Poopy butts and also some sperms to ye all!What are we doing?"
Shhhhh, Gary! This place isn't safe. He might hear you!
Get out while you still can! Run, Gary, run!!
Douglas wrote; "He might hear you!"
It's not only might, my insufferable dooooood. He hears everything said and some which isn't.
It's not only might, my insufferable dooooood. He hears everything said and some which isn't.
Arthur wrote; "F U IN THE A MOTHER EFFER"
I didn't know I had a Mother Effer. WHERE IS IT?
And tell that Hackle buddy of yours that if he keeps dissing me he's gonna get set on fire even if he gets that tuba..
I didn't know I had a Mother Effer. WHERE IS IT?
And tell that Hackle buddy of yours that if he keeps dissing me he's gonna get set on fire even if he gets that tuba..
I was just kidding.
My lawyer said that I should write that.
Isn't this thing supposed to be about some badass poetry. Forgot.
Dicks in
the cunts
not thinkin'
bout it
It's fucking
Eden
or NJ
Can I please get published by a hot, well-paying on-line zine. It's desperation now.
Come on Arthur. I even put the goddam useless hyphen in there. Fuck the comma.
My lawyer said that I should write that.
Isn't this thing supposed to be about some badass poetry. Forgot.
Dicks in
the cunts
not thinkin'
bout it
It's fucking
Eden
or NJ
Can I please get published by a hot, well-paying on-line zine. It's desperation now.
Come on Arthur. I even put the goddam useless hyphen in there. Fuck the comma.
Douglas said; "Shhhhh, Gary! "
Gary? ...................... Gary?
They still name white people that?
Gary? ...................... Gary?
They still name white people that?
Mike590 wrote: "Can I please get published by a hot, well-paying on-line zine.Does such a publication actually exist..? If so, you can tell those fuckin' sellouts to S my D; they'll never get my poetry!
Arthur wrote; "Does such a publication actually exist..? "
Well, I dont fucking know. You told me that you were the pro at this bullshit.
Well, I dont fucking know. You told me that you were the pro at this bullshit.
"Set me free, why dontcha babe?"
Whoops, looks like you called my bluff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3ChT...
Whoops, looks like you called my bluff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3ChT...
Wait, did anyone else just hear God yawn?”
― Arthur Graham
Sorry, that was just a post-modern fart. It's not personal. While you were yakking about something or other, I was reading a review of another one of those writers writing a book books.
Need some more work on the multi-tasking. Brrooduppupup. Uh oh.
― Arthur Graham
Sorry, that was just a post-modern fart. It's not personal. While you were yakking about something or other, I was reading a review of another one of those writers writing a book books.
Need some more work on the multi-tasking. Brrooduppupup. Uh oh.
Since Douglas requested it, I did some research. Frankly, this is the last time I'm going to as I'm beginning to feel as if I'm being taken advantage of. But, here you go Doug. May be apropos for Gary too. The product information is within this honest sounding testimonial I found.
“i are so Happy to b writing this article i was heartbroken because i had very small penis not big enough to satisfy woman, man, or even tiny childrens, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my small penis thingy, i have used so much product which i found online but nun cood offer me the help i searched and searched for. then i saw some few comments about this Fabrican’s Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin Penis Enlargement Pills, recomended by the specialist herbalist called Dr Sux and decided to email him on his email i saw on the Internet, and he said good things on the email he email to me and gave me some comforting words i ran out and bought some Fabrican’s Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin Penis Enlargement Pills two weeks i began to feel the enlargement of my penis which was 13 inches longer, and i had to settle out with my ex-girlfrieend my girlfriend was surprised when she saw that my penis was 13 inches longer so she was very happy that i can satisfied her with my sex and i have got a large penis. i am now celebrating because my other girlfriends chase me and things has changed totally for good. she always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my girlfriends, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Sux is truly a nice man and he also have herbs that cure herpes, diabetes ,hepatitis b, cancer and cream for body growth shapes or butt enlargement and breast enlargement contact him now or run to the store and get Fabrican’s Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin.”
The preceding unsolicited testimonial may be viewed at any time on Fabrican’s Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin’s Penis Enlargement Pills edit enabled website. "
“i are so Happy to b writing this article i was heartbroken because i had very small penis not big enough to satisfy woman, man, or even tiny childrens, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my small penis thingy, i have used so much product which i found online but nun cood offer me the help i searched and searched for. then i saw some few comments about this Fabrican’s Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin Penis Enlargement Pills, recomended by the specialist herbalist called Dr Sux and decided to email him on his email i saw on the Internet, and he said good things on the email he email to me and gave me some comforting words i ran out and bought some Fabrican’s Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin Penis Enlargement Pills two weeks i began to feel the enlargement of my penis which was 13 inches longer, and i had to settle out with my ex-girlfrieend my girlfriend was surprised when she saw that my penis was 13 inches longer so she was very happy that i can satisfied her with my sex and i have got a large penis. i am now celebrating because my other girlfriends chase me and things has changed totally for good. she always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my girlfriends, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Sux is truly a nice man and he also have herbs that cure herpes, diabetes ,hepatitis b, cancer and cream for body growth shapes or butt enlargement and breast enlargement contact him now or run to the store and get Fabrican’s Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin.”
The preceding unsolicited testimonial may be viewed at any time on Fabrican’s Neosize XL Willy Wonders with New Improved Moxitroxin’s Penis Enlargement Pills edit enabled website. "
That little joke, no pun intended, was extrapolated from my one night wonder titled "The Official Bizarro Bible," which was quickly sabotaged by the jerk Bizarro assholes.
Mike590 wrote: "That little joke, no pun intended, was extrapolated from my one night wonder titled "The Official Bizarro Bible," which was quickly sabotaged by the jerk Bizarro assholes."That "little joke" of yours is one of the funniest things you've ever written, in my opinion. But why are you still so sore about supposedly being sabotaged, when you've already made it clear that ratings/reviews/word of mouth from nobodies outside of the Times don't mean diddly squat? Maybe you just wrote a shitty book, and you should be glad it got any attention at all.
Fuckin' Arthur. You're right. I'm just trying to fuck around, put some bullshit here, and like that.
I'm only sore at the INTENT to do harm by one deluded, fathead, muthafugga; and it's not even all that sore because at worst it cost me ten bucks.
Actually I think TOBB and "Interview With the Troll" the worst things I ever wrote, and am sometimes embarrassed by them. Having said that, I think each have their moments, but there are some terrible ones too.
You know, I think that despite the title, you were the only reviewer to recognize that it was much more an attempted send up of the Bible than the Bizarro guys.
But hey, I'm on polack stuff. The Times actually liked Helene's and it went TV movie despite GR tit-tit-tit.
it's totally fucked up to be an optimist as it just sets you up for disappointment, but I don't seem to have much choice on that one.
Have the Amsterdam Police arrested you yet?
I'm only sore at the INTENT to do harm by one deluded, fathead, muthafugga; and it's not even all that sore because at worst it cost me ten bucks.
Actually I think TOBB and "Interview With the Troll" the worst things I ever wrote, and am sometimes embarrassed by them. Having said that, I think each have their moments, but there are some terrible ones too.
You know, I think that despite the title, you were the only reviewer to recognize that it was much more an attempted send up of the Bible than the Bizarro guys.
But hey, I'm on polack stuff. The Times actually liked Helene's and it went TV movie despite GR tit-tit-tit.
it's totally fucked up to be an optimist as it just sets you up for disappointment, but I don't seem to have much choice on that one.
Have the Amsterdam Police arrested you yet?
Mike590 wrote: "Have the Amsterdam Police arrested you yet?"Close, but I've since absconded to warmer climes.
Just a little note for all you free book lovers. They give away free shit over at Booklikes and they don't get as many applicants. Just sayin'.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nPqb...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nPqb...
Posted this one before as I'm not over it yet having only "discovered" it through the recommendation of a woman who wasn't too thrilled with me when I first got on GR.
"Whiskey bottle. Brand new car. Oak tree in my way."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hib4n...
"Whiskey bottle. Brand new car. Oak tree in my way."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hib4n...
Yesterday I spent about an hour on Youtbe trying to find something of Andy Kaufman. I know it happened because I saw it when new. He was on SNL and he played his bongos along with a crew of tough looking black people playing theirs. It was one of the most outrageous things I ever saw. I wonder if it is now censored.
Can anyone provide a link?
Can anyone provide a link?
Have to admit that have been some areas of progress. You wouldn't even get kicked off GR for this anymore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlLsl...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlLsl...
Yeah, I know that's not as interesting as unbridled sex, but I'm fucking pissed at Arthur. The big shit has ignored my great poem for more than two hours, and if everybody decides to quit coming here to see his piss-face and stupid book, I don't give a shit.
GO SCREW, YOU SMUT PEDDLER!
GO SCREW, YOU SMUT PEDDLER!
Mike590 wrote: "GO SCREW, YOU SMUT PEDDLER!"RIDE THIS:
Arthur wrote: "Mike590 wrote: "GO SCREW, YOU SMUT PEDDLER!"
RIDE THIS:
"
Sumbitch ain't got no training wheels; but thanks for the thought.
RIDE THIS:
"
Sumbitch ain't got no training wheels; but thanks for the thought.
Hey, listen, I'm in such agood mood today and progress is being made. A few weeks ago I got the bright idea to submit articles to AARP Magazine. Yeah, right; they don't pay squat, but they have a gigantic circulation, someone might like it and see my name ............ yadda yadda. And frankly, if you've ever seen their articles they make the Bizarro guys sound like Nobel winners; plus my outlook might better fit that age group.
But anyway, I sent them the one about the young sluts in 1962 Bayonne, and the declined it, but in an encouraging way saying that they thought it was good, but didn't have any issues on that subject coming out soon; but asked me to send more. So, I'm just trying to decide whether to go with the one about my uncle's TV repair acumen or the one of the ones about Bayonne's liverwurs mafia.
Any suggestions? .......................... And just in case you get redundant again I'm not riding it.
But anyway, I sent them the one about the young sluts in 1962 Bayonne, and the declined it, but in an encouraging way saying that they thought it was good, but didn't have any issues on that subject coming out soon; but asked me to send more. So, I'm just trying to decide whether to go with the one about my uncle's TV repair acumen or the one of the ones about Bayonne's liverwurs mafia.
Any suggestions? .......................... And just in case you get redundant again I'm not riding it.
Oh yeah, and before I sound bad in front of all those GR reviewers for whom I have the greteast respect, let me clarify a few things.
1) My true respect is shown in that I read them more than they read me.
2) It is a fact that everything I've ever read said that they have minimal financial value. That's all. I didn't make it that way.
I've researched many things written on the web by the sour indies. I mean the best story I found was one where two guys were "doing the Goodreads slog," and doing all that "friending" bullshit for seven years, and now they can count on 200-300 sales of any of their books. Shit, I already got more than that ....................... on a few ......................... okay, three; all right?
But, Id be proud to be reviewed favorably by a GR reviewer and if asked would send a PDF; but I'm not playing that hard copy game, as it'll cost me more than the book is likely to make.
Listen more. When I find it I'm going to post my favorite GR review of all time. I saved it.
1) My true respect is shown in that I read them more than they read me.
2) It is a fact that everything I've ever read said that they have minimal financial value. That's all. I didn't make it that way.
I've researched many things written on the web by the sour indies. I mean the best story I found was one where two guys were "doing the Goodreads slog," and doing all that "friending" bullshit for seven years, and now they can count on 200-300 sales of any of their books. Shit, I already got more than that ....................... on a few ......................... okay, three; all right?
But, Id be proud to be reviewed favorably by a GR reviewer and if asked would send a PDF; but I'm not playing that hard copy game, as it'll cost me more than the book is likely to make.
Listen more. When I find it I'm going to post my favorite GR review of all time. I saved it.
I would like to preface this with the GR observation that their reviews don't always do that technical stuff like you can find in loads of places like the NYTimes, Salon, et al, but that theirs are often infused with the reviewer's personality, likes, what's going on with them and personal stuff like that. And of course, the thread allows for personal communication making the experience much broader than that on a newspaper. The following review is of that nice genre.
“Note; Admittedly, it could have been a while back, but I might have been given a free hard copy of this book; “The Ocean Over the Septic Tank,” in return for an honest review. I might have no financial interest in its sales, unless you click right here, in which case I’ll get an inconsequential gratuity. Since I’ve been writing reviews on this site for a year, which all tend to be five starred ones, I’ve been inundated with free books from authors and publishers. I’ve got about forty piled up on the dining room floor and another 800 on my computer. Jeez, I’ll never catch up. I didn’t know how they got my home or personal e-mail address until last week when one of them called me. He started yelling at me. I found out that he paid $15 to my Goofreads friend who promised him he’d have a five star review in a week and gave him my personal information, telling him to just send it directly. Well, I’ll tell you that I straightened him right out, the guy on the phone that is, and told him I’d do it next, not wanting to offend my friend, who will remain un-named. Anyway, I was a bit fatigued this morning after driving my two kids to school. They got into their old argument about who is getting the front seat and all of that. Yes, we still have that alternating-days system which I mentioned in other reviews, but Jimmy was sick on Friday, his front seat day, so Michelle sat there. Michelle insisted that Monday was her day and that it wasn’t her fault when Jimmy gets sick. So, they both got in the front seat and wouldn’t budge. I didn’t know what to do, so I just drove them and hoped that some cop wouldn’t make a big deal about the seat belt thing. That turned out to be cool, but halfway there they started jostling for position and Jimmy must have not been completely better as he hurled all over, including on Michelle’s dress. I was going to bring them both back home, but Michelle insisted on going to school saying that she didn’t want to be stuck in the house with sick barf boy as it might be catchy, and that “with all the gross shit on the internet, nobody’s going to give a flying fuck over a little vomit.” It’s okay. I told her that she could use those kinds of words when she turned ten, like her boyfriend next door. So, I dropped her off and drove Jimmy back home. I got him changed, put him to bed and cleaned up the car, trying not to puke myself. So, I’m sitting here tired, disgusted, pissed and rebellious. Just to show everybody who’s boss I picked up this other, very fat book. It’ll put those nasty fifteen buck writers back a while. I also figured that since he’s dead Wallace won’t be calling me. It doesn’t look new. Damn, the phone’s ringing. Be right back.
That was the goddam school. I’ve got to go bring Michelle back home. No, they didn’t object to the vomit; at least not the vomit itself, as least as far as I understand it. It was that my little angel has been bombarding the nerdy boy who sits beside her with the big chunks. You know, that kid is such a wimp. Any real boy would just throw them back at her, but the sissy is crying. Christ.
I’m outta here. Oh yeah, IJ is a great, great book. I’d like to give it six stars. Great plot, moves right along. Recommended to anyone over ten years of age with strong arms. Maybe will update. It’s heavy. Ha ha ha.”
“Note; Admittedly, it could have been a while back, but I might have been given a free hard copy of this book; “The Ocean Over the Septic Tank,” in return for an honest review. I might have no financial interest in its sales, unless you click right here, in which case I’ll get an inconsequential gratuity. Since I’ve been writing reviews on this site for a year, which all tend to be five starred ones, I’ve been inundated with free books from authors and publishers. I’ve got about forty piled up on the dining room floor and another 800 on my computer. Jeez, I’ll never catch up. I didn’t know how they got my home or personal e-mail address until last week when one of them called me. He started yelling at me. I found out that he paid $15 to my Goofreads friend who promised him he’d have a five star review in a week and gave him my personal information, telling him to just send it directly. Well, I’ll tell you that I straightened him right out, the guy on the phone that is, and told him I’d do it next, not wanting to offend my friend, who will remain un-named. Anyway, I was a bit fatigued this morning after driving my two kids to school. They got into their old argument about who is getting the front seat and all of that. Yes, we still have that alternating-days system which I mentioned in other reviews, but Jimmy was sick on Friday, his front seat day, so Michelle sat there. Michelle insisted that Monday was her day and that it wasn’t her fault when Jimmy gets sick. So, they both got in the front seat and wouldn’t budge. I didn’t know what to do, so I just drove them and hoped that some cop wouldn’t make a big deal about the seat belt thing. That turned out to be cool, but halfway there they started jostling for position and Jimmy must have not been completely better as he hurled all over, including on Michelle’s dress. I was going to bring them both back home, but Michelle insisted on going to school saying that she didn’t want to be stuck in the house with sick barf boy as it might be catchy, and that “with all the gross shit on the internet, nobody’s going to give a flying fuck over a little vomit.” It’s okay. I told her that she could use those kinds of words when she turned ten, like her boyfriend next door. So, I dropped her off and drove Jimmy back home. I got him changed, put him to bed and cleaned up the car, trying not to puke myself. So, I’m sitting here tired, disgusted, pissed and rebellious. Just to show everybody who’s boss I picked up this other, very fat book. It’ll put those nasty fifteen buck writers back a while. I also figured that since he’s dead Wallace won’t be calling me. It doesn’t look new. Damn, the phone’s ringing. Be right back.
That was the goddam school. I’ve got to go bring Michelle back home. No, they didn’t object to the vomit; at least not the vomit itself, as least as far as I understand it. It was that my little angel has been bombarding the nerdy boy who sits beside her with the big chunks. You know, that kid is such a wimp. Any real boy would just throw them back at her, but the sissy is crying. Christ.
I’m outta here. Oh yeah, IJ is a great, great book. I’d like to give it six stars. Great plot, moves right along. Recommended to anyone over ten years of age with strong arms. Maybe will update. It’s heavy. Ha ha ha.”
Back to that Bayonne-me book. It has potential to be that one all the nut writers never finish, thinking "it's all here, just gotta put it in order," while the papers fly all over the dump. For a first time for me; the computer is an advantage.
Got so many chapters (in effect short stories or micro fiction) to finish off, but still adding new ones. There's about seven I came up with while performing AM ablutions; the best probably the time the chickens broke out from their cages at "Nunzio's Penned Hens" on 23rd Street. It wasn't pretty. I mean like this sweet girl lived on the block; her family the only thing not a live chicken market or an auto repair shop, but like it's hard for me to deal with thoughts of road kill without crying.
BTW, always remember that if you love your cat, put an armpit on him.
Got so many chapters (in effect short stories or micro fiction) to finish off, but still adding new ones. There's about seven I came up with while performing AM ablutions; the best probably the time the chickens broke out from their cages at "Nunzio's Penned Hens" on 23rd Street. It wasn't pretty. I mean like this sweet girl lived on the block; her family the only thing not a live chicken market or an auto repair shop, but like it's hard for me to deal with thoughts of road kill without crying.
BTW, always remember that if you love your cat, put an armpit on him.
Sorry to keep you waiting so long today. I spent some time on GR and put in a lot of chapter headings with a few notes, that would be of absolutely no interest. But, I got a bit of this one which needs some re-wording and never even really catches up to the chicken breakout. My apologies.
9B- Florence and the Chicken Jailbreak
Florence and Barbara were sisters, Florence the one with the brains. Barbara was a few years older, but despite Florence having only been left back once, both were in my 5th or 6th grade class. Barbara used to sit right next to me and wore tight skirts which had a penchant to reach for the sky.
I don’t remember much of Florence, as I may have been preoccupied with other things. I don’t really understand that other than to conjure up some idea of an instinct, as I had not yet discovered Nirvana in the bathtub. I guess my angels told me that something was there.
The sisters family moved away, I assumed seeking the joys of the Levittown septic backups and its consequent greenery, as many did, either that year or the following one.
So, the story takes a kind of pause right here, until that fateful day when Sepanek and about 14-year-old-I were outside ogling the denizens of the town’s public pool in the middle of City Park.
Sepanek saw Florence, and remembered her from some past time when he used to frequent Barbara’s gate. He called her over and quickly said something to me like “Used to be with her big sister. Florence was sort of engaged to half retarded Benny until he did something that got him brought up to . Florence has been broken hearted since.”
Florence got over to us and said a weak “Hi,” but was obviously despondent. You’ll have to get an idea of the lay of the land to understand what happens or doesn’t happen next. Sepanek, who was one of the biggest guys in town and about a foot taller than me, and I were standing on the grass, which was two feet below the level of the paved pool area. You’ll further have to appreciate that Florence was wearing an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny bikini, and of most significance have to visualize that whatever razor blades she had, apparently did not work too well in Center City to my supreme adulation.
So, Sepanek was trying to set me up with Florence, who he thought was either too young for him or was trying to make a connection to have a replay with Barbara. He was carrying the outside end of the conversation and was a bit annoyed with me for clamming up, but after the “Hi” I was just staring at and thinking about those two inch curly strands emanating from her frayed old bikini bottom. I mean what can one reasonably expect? The poor girl needed some help and my heart went out. Or something did, as she boldly put it right in my face, though the chain link fence between us had no passion for true love.
At some point I had sufficiently recovered to be able to ask Florence if she and I might get together after the pool closed, as the far side had no lights. She declined, but suggested that I meet her at the pool tomorrow in the light of the AM. It would have been nice if we could have seen things eye to eye, but never did.
I have no idea what happened between Sepanek and Barbara, and never cared in the least.
“Nunzio’s Penned Hens” on 23rd Street break out. It was so sad that their exhilhirating moment of freedom so quickly turned them to roadkill.
All too soon Florence’s betrothed was released from after observation
9B- Florence and the Chicken Jailbreak
Florence and Barbara were sisters, Florence the one with the brains. Barbara was a few years older, but despite Florence having only been left back once, both were in my 5th or 6th grade class. Barbara used to sit right next to me and wore tight skirts which had a penchant to reach for the sky.
I don’t remember much of Florence, as I may have been preoccupied with other things. I don’t really understand that other than to conjure up some idea of an instinct, as I had not yet discovered Nirvana in the bathtub. I guess my angels told me that something was there.
The sisters family moved away, I assumed seeking the joys of the Levittown septic backups and its consequent greenery, as many did, either that year or the following one.
So, the story takes a kind of pause right here, until that fateful day when Sepanek and about 14-year-old-I were outside ogling the denizens of the town’s public pool in the middle of City Park.
Sepanek saw Florence, and remembered her from some past time when he used to frequent Barbara’s gate. He called her over and quickly said something to me like “Used to be with her big sister. Florence was sort of engaged to half retarded Benny until he did something that got him brought up to . Florence has been broken hearted since.”
Florence got over to us and said a weak “Hi,” but was obviously despondent. You’ll have to get an idea of the lay of the land to understand what happens or doesn’t happen next. Sepanek, who was one of the biggest guys in town and about a foot taller than me, and I were standing on the grass, which was two feet below the level of the paved pool area. You’ll further have to appreciate that Florence was wearing an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny bikini, and of most significance have to visualize that whatever razor blades she had, apparently did not work too well in Center City to my supreme adulation.
So, Sepanek was trying to set me up with Florence, who he thought was either too young for him or was trying to make a connection to have a replay with Barbara. He was carrying the outside end of the conversation and was a bit annoyed with me for clamming up, but after the “Hi” I was just staring at and thinking about those two inch curly strands emanating from her frayed old bikini bottom. I mean what can one reasonably expect? The poor girl needed some help and my heart went out. Or something did, as she boldly put it right in my face, though the chain link fence between us had no passion for true love.
At some point I had sufficiently recovered to be able to ask Florence if she and I might get together after the pool closed, as the far side had no lights. She declined, but suggested that I meet her at the pool tomorrow in the light of the AM. It would have been nice if we could have seen things eye to eye, but never did.
I have no idea what happened between Sepanek and Barbara, and never cared in the least.
“Nunzio’s Penned Hens” on 23rd Street break out. It was so sad that their exhilhirating moment of freedom so quickly turned them to roadkill.
All too soon Florence’s betrothed was released from after observation
So, how about the fucking poem, dick? I got a Hamilton here that needs a new home.
Jeremy ended his diatribe with; "Well, now quite frankly, most of them are beneath me."
Well, watchew spectin fat ass; ain't no mufuggin room at the side. But no shit, fat head; cain't no man whut wurships Travis Bickle be all bad.
Well, watchew spectin fat ass; ain't no mufuggin room at the side. But no shit, fat head; cain't no man whut wurships Travis Bickle be all bad.
To answer tons of pm's I initially started writing to entertain my dog Farfel as we didn't have a TV set. After receiving great feedbacks and encouragement from Farfel and his friends Beansy and Ripper I decided to pursue writing in a more defecated way.
Gonna sign off tonight with some music. And Arthur, you can hold out all you want I ain't upping the offer to a Jackson.
And Florence, wherever you are out there babe; this one's for you and your tasty hair. Luv ya, girl.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kpBz...
And Florence, wherever you are out there babe; this one's for you and your tasty hair. Luv ya, girl.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kpBz...
Mike590 wrote: "if you love your cat, put an armpit on him"if you love your dog, put him in your knee-crotch
Arthur wrote; "if you love your dog, put him in your knee-crotch"
I'm collecting these words of wisdom; and con su permiso I'd like to add that one to the list I'm putting in my book. You'll be credited of course. But be warned there is some stiff competition as I now also have; "Let your cat know that you love her and put a warm armpit right on her. They always remember."
A little too derivative of the first one?
I'm collecting these words of wisdom; and con su permiso I'd like to add that one to the list I'm putting in my book. You'll be credited of course. But be warned there is some stiff competition as I now also have; "Let your cat know that you love her and put a warm armpit right on her. They always remember."
A little too derivative of the first one?
Gotta go. Think the GR dogs might be closing in and more importabtly got about 7 more stories while on the toidy.
The best one in my humble opinion is the one about the guy who moved to the neighborhood from Brooklyn and after having romanced every woman in Brooklyn except that 800 pounder who never gets out of bed and has like 15 rosaries, proceeded to help out the love lives of the rest of us yokels.
When he saw a girl coming he'd get up, do a bit of a pelvic thrust, rub his crotch and yell out; "Come on over here and suck on this a while." He was really ahead of his time as Michael Jackson copied it and didn't do a watered down version until the late 70's.
Later, dude. .................. No, not you Douglas.
The best one in my humble opinion is the one about the guy who moved to the neighborhood from Brooklyn and after having romanced every woman in Brooklyn except that 800 pounder who never gets out of bed and has like 15 rosaries, proceeded to help out the love lives of the rest of us yokels.
When he saw a girl coming he'd get up, do a bit of a pelvic thrust, rub his crotch and yell out; "Come on over here and suck on this a while." He was really ahead of his time as Michael Jackson copied it and didn't do a watered down version until the late 70's.
Later, dude. .................. No, not you Douglas.
No context for now, other than Bayonne's invention of Rap, about thirty years before the rabble.
“Now you name Jones, las year Dorsey, befo that Miller. Ain’t there nobody but that honky mailboy Blum yo mama ain’t got close to?”
“Now you name Jones, las year Dorsey, befo that Miller. Ain’t there nobody but that honky mailboy Blum yo mama ain’t got close to?”
One of the Bizarro predecessors. Just to show how much it has improved.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNuVi...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNuVi...
I fucked up the book. Yesterday I started putting that writerly crap on a few chapters that were near done and had to take it all out.
I keep coming up with more chapters with a few notes so I think I've already posted everything presentable, but I'll look.
Best for today was when I was already working and McConnell from Irish 13th Street was there too. I didn't know him that well, but he approached me about accompanying him to a bar in Manhattan.
You'll have to know that the bars in Manhattan are of three types; 1) Upscale chic, 2) De Classe chic, and 3) Specialties; like "Cheaters."
Any way he wanted me to go with him to one specializing in older women who liked to have young guys go down on them. When he said that my face turned beet red and he started laughing. He said; "You didn't know that everybody knows thats your thing. Shit. Ha ha, and ha."
Well, I didnt go and I didn't bother to correct him by adding the other things, and was kind of resentful of a stupid mind which only sees one of them.
Later that day I figured out that those girls must talk to each other with more crudity than the guys do. I was shocked.
Bunch of big mouthed sluts.
I keep coming up with more chapters with a few notes so I think I've already posted everything presentable, but I'll look.
Best for today was when I was already working and McConnell from Irish 13th Street was there too. I didn't know him that well, but he approached me about accompanying him to a bar in Manhattan.
You'll have to know that the bars in Manhattan are of three types; 1) Upscale chic, 2) De Classe chic, and 3) Specialties; like "Cheaters."
Any way he wanted me to go with him to one specializing in older women who liked to have young guys go down on them. When he said that my face turned beet red and he started laughing. He said; "You didn't know that everybody knows thats your thing. Shit. Ha ha, and ha."
Well, I didnt go and I didn't bother to correct him by adding the other things, and was kind of resentful of a stupid mind which only sees one of them.
Later that day I figured out that those girls must talk to each other with more crudity than the guys do. I was shocked.
Bunch of big mouthed sluts.
Before I return to my toil, I'd just like Mr. Smarty DH to know that my baseball book is only into its forth day of freebie, and already has had five takers.
Nyah, nyah, nyah.
Is there any truth to the rumor that Arthur has gone somewhere for "observation?"
Nyah, nyah, nyah.
Is there any truth to the rumor that Arthur has gone somewhere for "observation?"
"We'll meet beneath that giant Exxon sign
which brings this fair city light."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIFpa...