Conference Preparation...Not Always What You'd Think It Would Be

Okay, so here I am, very busy and important erotic romance author, getting ready to attend the Authors After Dark conference. What do you expect I’m doing? Preparing brilliant one-liners to say at workshops, having my many assistants packing books for the signing, telling the chauffeur to polish the limo for my grand entrance? Uh, yeah, right. Here are some things you might not expect that are on my conference to-do list:

ONE: Prepare “Clothing To Take” list: Do not laugh. Picking out what to wear for a con is one of my most dreaded tasks, though I used to have far more to pack when I could wear more than one type of shoe. Now I wear New Balance sneakers pretty much throughout the entire conference, regardless of the outfit. I buy a new pair each year ahead of time so even if they don’t match or go with any of my outfits, at least they don’t look like I’ve been mucking stalls with them. I’m an ethical vegetarian, so I don’t do leather. To punish me specifically for this, New Balance makes all of its non-leather shoes available in the most god-awful neon color combinations you’ve ever seen in your life. Though on the flip side, no one will have trouble finding me if the hotel has a power outage. In fact, I can lead people to safety without a flashlight. In recent years, I’ve heard people point me out as “Yeah, she’s the author wearing the sneakers.” So my bad feet have helped brand me at public appearances, lol – a plus!

Beyond shoes, I make a list of what I need to wear each day for panels and casual events, balanced against any parties or costume balls at night. Then there’s the headache of packing the right jewelry. I solved that one a few years ago. I carry it all in this nifty little jewelry holder with zipper pockets. Viola! I can choose my jewelry daily instead of figuring it out before I go. It makes the garment bag a little heavier, but it’s worth it.

TWO: Finish preparing swag: Most authors struggle with what kind of swag to bring. You want something cool and fun, but which will also inspire a reader to check out your website, your social media sites, your e-Harmony dating page, or hey, even do something crazy, like try out one of your BOOKS (lol). I always get a little ambitious, so as we’re coming down to the wire, here are several things I’ve been working on:

Crocheting Flowers – Yes, I crochet. My grandmother taught me, and I enjoy thread/filet crochet, so I’m attaching a crocheted flower to 80 candy bags with a black/silver printed ribbon that has my name and “brand” – BDSM Romance for the Heart & Soul. I’m up to about 50 flowers, with 30 to go, so I know what I’ll be doing while watching seasons of Blue Bloods and Hawaii Five-O on Netflix the next couple weeks. Then I’ll have to starch the flowers, stuff the bags with candy, run wire through the flowers to attach them to the bags, and tie the ribbon around the whole thing. All of which I’ll probably do the night before I drive to Savannah!

Decorating coffins – I have a handful of little wooden coffins I’ve been embellishing as a fun giveaway. I look through magazines, cut out pictures and glue them to the coffin with pretty sparkly stones, and then put Vampire Queen series on the back with promo material and candy inside. I have about three more to go. I wanted to do a bunch more of these, but Michael’s only offers them at a reasonable price once a year. Want to guess when? Yeah, selling cheap miniature coffins is apparently only a Halloween thing. Sheesh.

Putting tags on rubber ducks – A couple years back, when I was doing a promotion game with two other authors at a conference (Jayne Rylon/Carrie Ann Ryan), we were giving rubber ducks to the participants. I made the mistake of going to Oriental Trading for my ducks and there were so many adorable types, I got carried away and ordered about 500 of them. I’ve been giving away ducks ever since. Coming up with a way to make rubber ducks relevant to erotic romance is a challenge, but I finally found a cute option. I put bright yellow sales tags on the ducks with a sticker that has my brand and the quote “Erotic Romances are like Quack – you can’t read just one!” Yeah, totally silly, I know, but too fun to ignore. They went like hotcakes at the last con, so if Murphy’s Law is in place, they’ll be completely ignored this time (wink). I have cat ducks, hippie ducks, armed service ducks, breast cancer ducks…

Coming up with Erotic Trivia questions – Along with three other wonderful authors (Julie Morgan, Tilly Greene and TJ Michaels), I’m hosting our fourth annual Erotic Trivia game at Authors After Dark. Over the past several years, I have scoured every online erotic trivia quiz and questionnaire you can imagine, and this year I even resorted to watching sex documentaries to pick up some new questions there. In the process, I learned a lot of really interesting things, like how “supposedly”, there was a Greek courtesan named Clepsydra who devised a water clock to time her clients. Depending on what “menu” option they wanted, she’d put a certain size cup in a bowl of water. The cup would have a hole in it and, when it completely filled and sank, their time was up. Hence, water clocks are called clepsydras. I believe that’s actually total bunk, but it makes a cool story, right? Anyhow, if the fate of the universe rests on me knowing the answer to erotic trivia questions, we’re safe. Otherwise, we better call Bruce Willis, because we know THAT man can save pretty much anything that’s at risk.

So there’s a brief look at some of the things I’m doing to prep for the Authors After Dark conference. Hope you’re all having a wonderful week. If you’re joining us in Savannah, Georgia for the con on August 3-7, I look forward to seeing you! And if you are near Savannah and want to come to the public signing, that will be 2-4pm ET on Saturday the 6th at the Riverfront Marriott. You can find more details at the Authors After Dark site.

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Don’t forget my GoodReads Worth the Wait giveaway! Three signed copies of the book are being given away, as well as fun swag packets to the three winners. Contest open through July 20!