Rachel Spangler's Blog, page 19

25 Songs of Christmas: Dec 24 – O Holy Night

This is my favorite Christmas Eve song of all time.  I usually post it late in the evening when we are headed off to celebrate this holy night in a candlelight filled church, but this year I wanted to be able to listen to it all day.  Maybe some of you do, too.

“Truly he taught us to love one another, and His gospel is peace. Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother, and in His name all oppression is cease.”

25 songs of Christmas: Dec 23 – Angels We Have Heard on High

Today’s advent devotional reading was about Christmas carols and connecting them to people of faith who have sung God praises all the way back to the Psalmist. It should come as no surprise I love Christmas carols (hence the blogs). We have tried to instill that love of signing praises by singing praises with Jackson a lot this year. It’s one of the few traditional activities that has consistently put me in a good more this season. He likes so many songs, but Angels we have Heard on High is one of his favorites.  He has a book where the main character let’s fly on the Glorias, so he likes to let fly on the glorias.  It’s almost ear piercing.  You can see Susie and I begin to lean away from him every time the chorus approaches, but it makes him happy to just sing his little off key heart off. When I watch him, I smile through the pain because I think we could use a little more of that kind of caroling this close to the big day. It’s good for heart, the lungs, and the soul you lose ourselves in praise, so as you listen tonight go ahead, sing along and don’t skimp on those glorias.

25 Songs of Christmas: Dec 22 – Do You Hear What I Hear?

Hi Friends,

Today we travel, so there will be no time for a long blog, but fear not, I will not leave you wanting.  I have something special I’ve been saving for you for a couple of weeks.  Maybe you remember me talking about making our family year-end video.  It was really therapeutic for me to think about all the good things this year brought amid the rough spots.  It helped me to remember how truly blessed we are.  And now I finally get to share all of these wonderful memories with all of you. I hope you all enjoy our video Christmas card.

25 Songs of Christmas: Dec 21 – Let there Be Light

Today is the Winter Solstice.  The longest night of the year. The peak of darkness in the Northern Hemisphere.  I have focused a lot on darkness this holiday season. It has hung heavy and oppressive around us.  We see it on the news.  We see it in our streets. Our schools. Our homes. Sometimes it even grows in our own hearts. Darkness comes in the form of oppression, racism, injustices, poverty, violence, and it seems to have spread at a crippling pace lately. The news reports are constant. Every time I turn on my computer, I see new reports of Black men gunned down, or children being abducted, terrorists taking control of another city, another country attacking its neighbors. And violence, as it always does, has begun to beget more violence. Revenge killings, retribution, capital punishment, civil wars abroad and in our own cities. The darkness continues to spiral ever deeper, and I am reminded of the words of Dr. Martin Luther King: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” And it seems like all we have sometimes is darkness with too little light to drive it out.

Then I was talking to a friend who checked in with me the other day, and she gave me a bit of a new perspective I hadn’t considered.  She said that the racism and injustice in the way systems of authority work in this country are nothing new.  You could probably pick any year in American history and find just as many unarmed people were killed, followed by just as many blown court cases and just as many acts of retaliation, if not more of them.  I know enough about American history not to argue this point.  No doubt, many years in our history have been worse. She suggested that the increase in news stories, in public outrage, in people’s willingness to stand up and say, “I am not okay with this,” is actually not part of the growing darkness, it may actually mean the exact opposite.

Her comments reminded me of a conversation I had with another friend early in the year.  She follows a very different spiritual path from my own, but I often find we’re working through the same things, often in very similar ways, only with different terms.  She told me back in the spring that 2014 was supposed to be a year of light. I had already seen a bit of what this year had to offer the Spangler family, and it didn’t feel like lightness to me. Even then I could sense the darkness spreading, and I told her so.  She explained that the light didn’t always mean “easy.” It didn’t always mean “happy.” The light didn’t even mean “new.” Often times the light shined on things that were unpleasant, taking things long hidden and revealing them for what they truly were.  Sometimes the light reveals things that horrify us, things we have worked hard to keep in darkness so we didn’t have to face them, because when we did face that truth in the full light of day, we would have no choice but to do something about it.

Which brings me to Solstice.

When I first started hearing of people who celebrated Solstice, it seemed odd to me.  Counterintuitive.  Why celebrate an abundance of darkness? It was only as I talked to more people that I gained a deeper understanding of what solstice celebrations were really about. The people who celebrate on this longest night of the year are not celebrating the darkness, they are celebrating the return of the light. You see, every day from here on we will get another minute or two of light. At first they will likely be too short to notice, too few to make a difference.  There are still long nights ahead. There are still periods of great darkness in our future, but to celebrate today is to say, “This is as dark as it will get.” To celebrate today is to say, “I know the light is coming, slowly, but steadily back in to our lives.”  To celebrate the Winter Solstice is to look at the pinnacle of darkness and say, “You are finished. This is all you get from us. From this day forward your grip over our lives will only lessen.”

I do not find it coincidental that so many of the world’s major religions celebrate light this time of year.  Solstice welcomes the returning of the light.  Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights. The Hindus of the world recently celebrated Diwali (they got a head start on us), and Christians follow the light of a single star to Bethlehem seeking the Light of the World.  What if all of these ancient traditions are sharing the same ancient wisdom and we as a culture are just remembering ancient lessons here in our own dark night?  What if the call pulling at us all in this moment is not a response to the darkness at all, but rather our spirits yearning for our own return to the light?

Maybe it won’t be an easy kind of light. Maybe at first it’s actually going to be really hard, uncomfortable, even painful to see the things we as a culture, as a country, even as a global people have worked hard to ignore, but if that process, if that coming to light ultimately leads to a real driving out of the darkness, then I say, let there be light.

25 Songs of Christmas: Dec 20 – Christmas Day

I virtually never do this, but I am going to play two songs from the same album, on back to back days. There are so many amazing Christmas songs out there. So, why make the exception now?  Well, because I want to.

There have been 100 things threatening to crash my joy in the season. I’ve talked about them all before.  You all know the many things weighing on my heart right now. So, with so many things bringing me down it was really nice to have two artists I really like come together to sing a fun song listing all the awesome things that bring people joy during this holiday.  It made me smile.  It made me feel excited for the coming of Christmas day.  Maybe sometimes that is all I really need.  No great sermons.  No life altering reflections.  No need to change the whole world in every single minute.  Maybe sometimes it’s okay to just stop and take a few minutes to just enjoy the good things.  The rest of it won’t go away. The world with all the good and the bad and everything in between will still be here in six more days.  And so will I.

For tonight though I am going to enjoy some time with my family.  I am going to eat food that will make me fat.  I am going to listen to this song, probably more than once.  And then before I go to bed I will pray for peace, and strength, wisdom.  And then I will do my best to sleep soundly in the assurance that God has been answering prayers like mine for Millenia. Isn’t that the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place?

25 songs of Christmas: Dec 19 – Almost There

I am pretty well versed in Christmas songs, as least the Christian ones. I was raised on a lot of contemporary Christian music and in a traditionally religious household. It’s rare that I find new ones at all, much less new ones that speak to me like the ones of my youth, but it happened today. I have to admit, it came from a pretty likely source in Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith, two artists I grew up with. I had an almost teen fanboi moment when I saw they had a new duet this season, but felt a bit of disappointment that it wasn’t one of the classic hymns. I should have known better.

But before I go into the details of the song itself I feel like I need back up and admit I had a bit of a relapse yesterday after several days of growing in The Spirit and the joy of the season. I’ve been able to take some really positive steps with my family like focusing on hand made gifts, and donating food and goods to our favorite charity. Jackson has begun to sing sweetly with our nightly carols. I’ve seen signs of hope in the news of the expansion of the Olympic Charter and my home state’s move to ban hydro fracking, and the normalizing of relationships with Cuba. Spending Hannukah with a little friend helped too. I was on a good run.

Then I hit a wall.

I’m not sure why I slipped so far so fast again, but I am human. I am fallible. My to do list caught up with me. Another news story wrecked my emotions. Things took longer than I expected or just plain didn’t get done. My son had a rough day (He’s probably as over stimulated as I am). I ran out of good teachable moments for that creepy little Elf. I looked at a calendar and freaked out. Just before bed last night I snapped at my wife. I said I just wanted this holiday season to be over.   Then I felt terrible.  Ashamed.  Broken.

I’d lost it all again. The joy. The Hope. The Peace.

But today is a new day, and with it came with a new song. Fresh words from familiar voices. A renewed call. A new prayer. At a time when I thought I could not longer be surprised, came a new hope. The Spirit moves even in the darkness. God still speaks.

A lonely road, a willing heart

Pray for strength to do your part

You’re almost there, you’re almost there

Trust the Father to provide

Bread of heaven prophesied

You’re almost there, you’re almost there

You’re almost where the waiting ends

Delivering the life within

The answered prayer, Emmanuel

You’re almost there

You’re almost where the journey ends

Where death will die and life begins

The answered prayer, Emmanuel

You’re almost, almost there

A whispered Thank you, left my lips at the echo, “you’re almost there.”

Even when it doesn’t seem like it. Ready or not. Worthy or not. Even on the bad days, the time grows near.

You’re almost there.

The voice drawing my forward, telling me again what’s ahead, what’s at stake, gently pleading we me to hang on, just a little farther. Just a little longer.

You’re almost there.

Accompanied by a reminder that I am not alone. “Trust the father to provide, Bread of Heaven, prophesied.” He’s heard the prayer. And even now the spirit is moving. “The answered prayer, Emmanuel.”

You’re almost there.

And once again, I believe.

We’re almost where the journey ends

Where death will die and life begins

The answered prayer, Emmanuel

We’re almost, almost there

25 Songs of Christmas: Dec 18

Today is one of those days where I want to let the song largely speak for itself.  This version is called “Come and Worship” but it basically just a new take on a 200 year old hymn called, “Angels From The Realms of Glory.”  It’s one of those songs that always moves me.  No matter what else I am doing during this busy season when the first strains of this song filter through my hectic scattered brain it’s like my body just stops and says, “Oh yeah, all this other stuff is just a distraction.”  Like the Shepherds in the field who left their flock, surely I too can step away from whatever task I had been focused on a take a few minutes to worship God.

If you’ve been busy, overwhelmed, or stressed out, take the next four minutes to lay it all down.  It’ll still be there when the song ends.  For now, just for these few minutes, take a seat, take knee, take a couple deep breaths and let your heart, your mind, and you soul do nothing but worship Christ the new born king.

25 Days of Christmanakkah: Dec 17 – Miracle (Hanukkah Song)

Do you believe in Miracles?

Earlier in the month I gave what was likely an unnecessary disclaimer about not being Catholic so I feel I should probably do the same ting here and state right up front that I am not Jewish.  Duh, Right? Hence the great many blogs about the birth of Jesus.  However, as a Christian I think it’s the hight of hypocrisy not to acknowledge the Judaeo roots of my Christianity.  Am I not also raised on the stories of Abraham, Issac, Moses?  Do I not see the prophesy of Christ in the words of Isaiah?  Do I ignore the fact that Jesus was celebrating the passover on the night of His arrest? Am I to believe that a G-d who so loved the world that He sent His own son to seal our salvation would then turn his back on the people with whom He’d first formed a Holy Covenant?  I think not.

So with that being said, I really love Hanukkah!

While we are being perfectly honest there;s something about a holiday that plans it’s menus around fried food that really speaks to me.  But more than the Latkes and donuts I feel drawn the Festival of Lights for, well, the Lights.  The miracle of light outlasting the darkness is a message I really need this season. We started celebrating at sun down yesterday which required me to look and see when the sun actually set in my area.  It’s 4:45.  That’s early.  That makes for a long night.

A reflection on the physical darkness led me to think once again about the long night we’ve been experience culturally.  The violence, the oppression, racism, homophobia, the gun culture, the rape culture, I’ve made it perfectly clear in previous blogs that this time has been one of darkness for me. The news yesterday offered no reprieve, and yet the story of Hanukkah did.

In the story of the Maccabees overcoming the Greeks I am reminded that no odds are insurmountable when you follow a holy call.  But even more than that I took faith in the reminder that when the fight lingers longer than any single battle G-d stays with us. As we survey the shambles, as we wonder how we can possibly begin to rebuild the worlds we occupy, we don’t have rely solely our own strength and resources. We can rest safe in the assurance that G-d will sustain us. We can be secure in the knowledge that whatever we have, when given over to the Glory of G-d, will be enough.  Enough to sustain.  Enough to strengthen.  Enough to light the way through any darkness the world may throw at us.

As I have grown weary almost to the point surrender, I cling to the idea that G-d can and will use whatever tiny reserve I have left to burn through these darkest of nights.  Yeah, that’s a miracle I need right now.

And I do believe in miracles.

25 songs of Christmas: Dec 16 – Strange Way To Save The World

In keeping with the theme of trying to identify with the Christmas story, in all its facets, (especially the ones that go beyond the similar Christmas card scenes of glowing light and golden hay) I offer up to you a Christian contemporary standard: A Strange Way to Save the World.

I am going to utterly butcher this quote I should have memorized, but C.S. once said that unlike other parables, the salvation story doesn’t make good logical sense to most people.  He went on to talk about how that actually bolstered his faith, because if the salvation story had been a perfectly convenient fit for all men, he would have thought it was likely to have been invented solely by men.  A man-made salvation, though likely easier, wouldn’t actually be very Godlike at all, because God is complex and magnificent and supreme beyond our understanding.  The salvation story hardly has to make complete sense to humans in its entirely; it’s rather more important that it makes sense to God, in God’s entirety, as that is who is ultimately offering the salvation.

I always think of that quote, or my vague memory of it, when I hear this song.  How many times have I looked at the circumstances around Christ’s birth and thought, “that doesn’t make any sense”? It was too long ago. Too far from the seat of power. His community unprepared. His scope too small, or in the words of Andrew Llyod Webber, “If you’d come today, you could have saved a whole nation. Israel in 4 B.C. had no mass communication.”

Such a strange way to save the word. Such a backward time in such a strange land. Why then? Why them? And yet, the story has gotten out pretty well, has it not? Two thousand years later, are we not still brought together by the story? Do we not still sing songs and gather in houses of worship to hear of the night love came down.

I don’t know about you, but asking those questions about the Christmas story always leads me to wonder about all the other times I have asked them about my own life. How many times have I asked God, “Why me? I’m just an ordinary person. Why now? There’s so much more to be done. Why here? Surely you have such better platforms at your disposal. Surely there is always a better place, some better way, some better time, and most of all some better person. It doesn’t make sense to me. But am I really one to second guess what angels have to say?

For whatever reason, God uses some strange ways to save the world, ways that don’t always make sense to the smallness that is our understanding of the infinite wisdom. And yet, those ways are not so high, so grandly removed from our humanity that even the lowliest of shepherds cannot play a big part. If God managed to offer the gift of salvation to the entire world though a carpenter, an ordinary girl, a tiny town, an even tinier baby, who is it say he can’t also work miracles through each an every one of us?

25 songs of Christmas: Dec 15 – Joseph’s Lullaby

Today’s song is another one that tugs at this mother’s heart.  It’s called “Joseph’s Lullaby,” but really it’s a song that any parent could understand.  I’ve already talked this season about how much I love and identify with Mary, but I think Joseph is pretty awesome, too, though I find it harder to identify with him.  I just don’t think I’m that strong or good. I don’t mean to be crass, but if I had a dream about an angel telling me my fiancé was pregnant with someone else’s child, but I should go ahead and care for her and the baby anyway, I would assume I’d eaten something bad before bed.

I like to believe I would recognize the Lord in that encounter, but I am by no means certain that I would. I am even less certain I would be able to rise to the challenge.  Caring for a wife and child is hard work even when you asked for the job, even when you want it more than anything.  Marriage and parenting are hard work under the best circumstances.  Taking on that role when tired and poor and totally unprepared for even the possibility of fatherhood would have the potential to break a person. And then there’s the prospect of raising God thrown in to the mix.

I have a great kid, and I love him for so many reasons.  He is by all accounts pretty near perfect.  He is well-mannered and sleeps well and has a good sense of humor and is largely more self-sufficient than any 7-year-old has a right to be, and still some days he exhausts me.  Even when see my own actions mirrored in his own.  Even when I understand what made him who he is.  Even when I look into his eyes and see my own, I can still wonder, “What am I doing here? How am I supposed to raise this kid?” I barely feel up to the weight of that responsibility on my best days. Can you imagine doing that job without being able to even truly comprehend where your kid came from? Conceived by the holy spirit? That’s a lot to parent and yet, he did.

It takes a lot to be completely present for you child, but it takes something truly special to be that kind of influence for someone else’s.  When I think of Joseph, loving, kind, gentle Joseph, I see step-parents and adoptive parents and foster parents and grandparents who take on the role of parent.  I see non-biological gay and lesbian parents or families who conceive in nontraditional ways for whatever reason.  I see big brothers and sisters stepping into roles they never asked for.  I see teachers and mentors who go the extra mile before and after work and on weekends.  I see peace workers who put their own lives at risk to care for orphans in war-torn areas.  I see doctors who rock babies with Ebola or AIDS.  I see people who step up and guard children’s hearts so they can live peacefully, sometimes for their whole lives and sometimes just during the parts of their lives when they need it most. I am in awe of parents like that.

In Joseph I see the person each and every one of us is called to be, not just for our own children, but for every child who needs rest and hope and love.