Julie Arduini's Blog, page 54

The Ugly Truth

I don’t know about you, but I tend to take holidays as a moment to reflect. Mother’s Day was no exception. There are so many amazing memories from our wedding prayer that included my husband’s children, to playing Rock Band with the youngest two. Over twenty years of recollections.

Like it or not, there’s also a look back at the mistakes. Meals no one would eat, frustrating times where I yelled. And recently, the realization I handed our daughter an ugly habit.

She called me out for shying away from the camera because I lamented I wasn’t attractive enough to be captured for memory.

Ouch.

Apparently I’ve been so vain about it over the years that when our church set up a Mother’s Day photo booth it wasn’t me that complained, it was her. She was against her picture, repeating the same words I didn’t realize I’d projected on her.

I hate that I’ve done this. After all, the two of us are writing a series for tweens, teens, and women of all ages about surrendering negative thoughts. Our first message was about believing we’re ugly and letting go of that lie. Yet anytime a camera comes around, I tend to disappear, believing every Arduini is photogenic but me. I look at an image and I find the flaws—the extra pounds, pale skin, glasses, bags under my eyes, bad hair day. Yet if anyone says that about themselves, I hurt because I see the truth. I find the kind smile and bright eyes. The hair I wish I could pull off. The cute clothes. Ugh. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I didn’t realize how deep my issue was until a friend called me out on it even before my daughter did. I started paying attention to my self-talk and couldn’t believe where I’ve found myself. My husband and I were videotaped as part of a testimony to accompany the “Breakthrough” series our pastor is leading at church. On the day they scheduled the taping, the only day that would work, I drove 300 miles from my mom’s straight to church. As a “CurlyGirl,” I had been co-washing, but was due for a shampoo. Turns out there was none in the bathroom I was using, and I had not packed any. All through taping I said I needed a disclaimer. I was obsessed with how I would appear on camera.

The reality? The story we shared was emotional and full of God’s glory. The last thing people were paying attention to was my hair. But I spent so much time worrying and apologizing for it.

I mentor girls and my message is the last thing I want to pass on to them. They are God’s crowning achievement. Beautiful. Beloved. He crafted freckles. The gray I’m letting come in to see how it looks is precious in His sight.

One of my mentors told me years ago that looking like Barbie might have advantages, but there are disadvantages as well. When they speak, few take them seriously. I’ve seen it. I’ve done it. I even shared the same message that a perky, blonde with blue eyes shared, and the audience reaction differed. The audience didn’t trust her, they didn’t find her relatable because of her looks. The audience received my message, the same one, because I looked more like them. They trusted me.

I knew as soon as I heard about that photo booth that I needed to get in line. When our daughter protested, I spent time sharing all the traits she has inside and out that set her apart. How captivating I find her. How God created her and when we complain about our looks, we’re telling Him He makes junk.

So if you struggle with your outer beauty, if you hide when a camera comes out, I hope my learning experience helps you. I need to embrace the truth about who I truly am and stop letting fear of rejection keep me from capturing beautiful moments.

We all need to.

***

If you know a female of any age, Hannah and I hope you’ll join our movement to surrender the “stinkin’ thinkin’.” We are beautiful, amazing, and brilliant. Please consider  You’re Beautiful  and  You’re Amazing  for your reading pleasure.

This first appeared as The Ugly Parenting Fail at Christians Read.

Lost Loves by BJ Bassett

Lost Loves

B J Bassett

Ray
Bradbury died in 2012 at the age of 91. He wrote sci-fi and fantasy. Among his
writing credits are Fahrenheit 451
and many screenplays, including Moby Dick.

He
was a writer’s writer. I remember many years ago when he gave up his monthly column
in a writer’s magazine so an aspiring writer could publish his work instead.
That act of generosity instilled in me an admiration for Ray Bradbury that over
the years has never diminished.

At
the age of 12 he started writing every day and never stopped. His creative work
appears in books, magazines, films and television. Today, high school and
university instructors continue to share his stories with their students.

He
hated school and early mornings. He fell in love with the public library and
educated himself there. He had a lifelong love affair with libraries.

He
suffered a stroke in 1999, forcing him to use a wheelchair, yet it didn’t stop
him from sharing his love with others.

In
2005 I was given the opportunity to hear him speak in Santa Barbara,
California. My daughter, Melanie had a ticket and I begged her to get me one.
He was in his 80’s and the rumor was this could be his last speaking engagement
because of his declining health.

I
was so excited and I purchased his newly released biography, The Bradbury Chronicles—The Life of Ray
Bradbury, before entering the building.

We
sat in the full UCSB auditorium waiting with hundreds of others. When the
curtains opened there sat Ray Bradbury in a wheelchair.

He
began by telling us about his childhood. His mother took him to movies and he
fell in love with them. This is when he began to collect his loves. Another of
his loves was Buck Rogers (a character in Amazing Stories—a comic book type of
publication). Bradbury collected the magazines, but when friends teased him he
tore them up. Later, he realized he had given up one of his loves and he cried.
It was a lesson he learned the hard way, and he shared that devastating
experience with others.

He
grieved his decision and the loss of his love. Later in his life he told a
friend of the devastation he experienced when he gave up what he loved. Having
the same collection of comic books, his friend gave them to Bradbury.

He
kept us on the edge of our seats for over an hour, ending with “Don’t give up
on your loves.

          I
related to his love of writing and I’ll never forget his admonition to those
present. “Never give up on your loves.”

Other gems Bradbury
shared that night were:

“Friends are to encourage
you.”

“Teachers are to inspire
you.”

“You need someone to
believe in you.”

“Jump off the cliff and
build your wings on the way down.”

“I’m careful not to know
where I’m going. I take a chance.”

“Be a passionate
explorer.”

“Fall in love over and
over until things begin to happen.”

            I relate to Ray Bradbury’s story. Like him I, too, hated school and getting up in the morning. I also love libraries, books, and writing. His words from that special night in 2005 continue to inspire me today.

B. J. Bassett encourages others as an author, teacher and speaker. Her books include a contemporary novel, Gillian’s Heart; a historical novel Lily; Sweet Charity; A Touch of Grace—The G.R.A.C.E. Ministries Story; and coauthor of a children’s devotional My Time with God, Focus on the Family, Heritage Builders, with over 55,000 copies sold.

As a contributing writer, publications consist of Writer’s Handbook 2000, The Writer, and The Focus on the Family Guide to Growing a
Healthy Home, Wolgemuth & Hyatt, Publishers, Inc.—consistently on
Bookstore Journal’s Best-selling Christian Books List from November 1990 –
February 1991, and voted the 10 Best Books for 1990 by Today’s Christian Woman.

Magazines, devotional booklets, curriculum and newspaper publishers include Focus on the Family, Woman’s World, The Quiet Hour, Pathways to God, Devotions, Harcourt Brace, WordAction, Gospel Publishing and Times Standard (newspaper).

She teaches writing workshops at Umpqua Community College, Roseburg, OR and at writer’s conferences. As a speaker for Stonecroft Ministries, she tells her story of rejection and acceptance, not only in life, but as a writer as well. She also offers book talks, including discussion questions and shares the journey — from the seed of an idea to a published book.

Memberships: ACFW and Oregon Christian Writers (OCW).

She enjoys reading, jigsaw puzzles, knitting, munching warm scones oozing with butter and strawberry jam and sipping earl grey tea.

A native Californian, she lives with her husband of 60 years in Roseburg, Oregon.

Dr. Nancy St. John has a well-kept, twenty-year-old secret. 

A pregnant high school senior, she is banished by her parents to live with her spinster aunt in Chicago. 

Heartbroken, Nancy concentrates on her work and avoids intimate relationships. Hope, the daughter Nancy gave up for adoption twenty years earlier, finds her. A bond blossoms between them but is challenged by Hope’s leukemia. Hope needs a bone marrow transplant, but she has a rare blood type. Nancy is not a match. Nancy is determined to find Skip, Hope’s biological father, who never knew about Nancy’s pregnancy or why she disappeared so mysteriously.

Purchase SWEET CHARITY HERE

Interview with Alexis A. Goring

Please tell us about yourself.

My name is Alexis. I’m a
writer, editor, blogger, photographer, journalist and aspiring screenwriter.
I’m a total foodie! My favorite types of cuisine are Mexican food, vegetarian
Filipino food, West Indian food such as guava cheese from Barbados (which is the
best) and classic American meals.

I love my home state of Maryland and I dream of visiting California. I am a single lady. My Dad is a medical technologist for a hospital. My Mom is an excellent educator and administrator. My brother and his wife are both Doctors of Physical Therapy. My church family is amazing too!

2. How long have you been writing? What was it that gave you the motivation to pursue publication?

I’ve been writing as a
passion since age 9. But I started writing as an assignment when my mother
instructed my younger brother and I to start keeping a daily journal when each
of us turned about four years old.

Writing and “publishing” my first short story at the age of 9 gave me the motivation to pursue publication as a professional writer when I grew up because I enjoyed the storytelling/writing/publishing process.

3. Tell us about your new release.

Love
in Pictures is the title of my new release. It was
published in June 2018. It’s a fictional Contemporary Romance story about
Michelle and Logan. She’s a wedding photographer who’s never been in love and
he’s a print journalist with dreams of becoming on-air talent but his personal
challenge threatens to prevent his dreams from coming true.

When Logan meets Michelle, he’s on the mend from a devastating heartbreak—his ex-fiancée London chose to chase her career dreams over their plans to marry and settle down. So for the past few years, Logan’s focused on his work and avoided romantic relationships. However, something about Michelle awakens Logan’s desire to love again.

4. What inspired you to write this?

A combination of factors: My passion for wedding photography, my love for international settings like Italy, my experience as a professional journalist, and my appetite for a good love story!

5. Did you face any challenges writing this book?

Yes. I had to do story research about Italy and since it’s been more than a decade since I visited that beautiful country, and I was on a tight budget, I had to figure out a cost-free way to refresh my memory so that the scenes in my story that were set in Italy would be on point. Thank God for YouTube travel videos! It’s a challenge that was easily resolved.

6. What is your hope that readers take away from it?

My hope is that readers will take a way a few main messages: Celebration of diversity in every career field and representation of all races on the world stage are very important, you should judge a person by the content of their character (not the color of their skin) and true love should always win!

7. What are you working on now?

I’m working on my first nonfiction book project! But I cannot share details about it at this moment.

8. How can readers find you?

Readers can connect with me through my official website, https://alexisagoring.jimdo.com and they can find my social media links there on my Bio page.

9. What is something most readers would not know about you?

My last name is famous in England because of The Goring Hotel. It’s where Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, spent her last night as a single lady before her Royal Wedding to Prince William. See the hotel’s official website for more details, https://www.thegoring.com/welcome/.

10. Do you have any questions for the readers?

Yes! What would you, dear readers, like for me to write next?

Julie: I’d love for you to check out Alexis A. Goring’s latest release, Love in Pictures.

Amazon – https://amzn.to/2vDWQZd

Barnes and Noble – https://bit.ly/2PhLEg6

Alexis A. Goring is a passionate writer with a degree in Print Journalism and an MFA in Creative Writing. She loves the art of storytelling and hopes that her stories will connect readers with the enduring, forever love of Jesus Christ.

Meet Pia Hertz from Love’s Belief By Linda Shenton Matchett

Resistance to Axis occupying forces took many forms in
the various countries overrun by Germany. In France, an unassociated collection
of cells performed acts of sabotage, distributed underground newspapers, passed
intelligence to Allied troops, and helped escaped POWs and downed servicemen
get out of the country. Considered one of the strongest movements of the war,
the Greek Resistance consisted of armed and unarmed groups. Vandalism,
sabotage, and revolts marked their activities, first against the Italians, then
the Germans. The Polish underground movement was the largest in all of occupied
Europe.

Intriguingly, as the war progressed resistance began
to spring up within Germany itself. Individuals and groups rather than a united
resistance movement, engaged in various acts of opposition, from speaking out
against the Nazis, distributing handbills and underground newspapers, hiding
Jews, and conducting protests. The more serious resistors were involved in
plans and attempts to assassinate Hitler and highly placed officials.

Love’s
Belief explores the German resistance through the actions of
midwife Pia Hertz. Grab a chair, put up your feet, and get to know this brave
young lady who embodies, and hopefully, in some small way, honors those who
risked everything to fight what they knew was wrong.

LM: Welcome, Pia! Can you tell us a bit about yourself?

Pia: Danke. Thanks for having me. My mother
and I live in Berlin, not far from the Tiergarten, a beautiful park that has a
zoo, and a lake, and the Victory Column, a monument that commemorates victory
during the Danish-Prussian war. I have the best job in the world. I am a
midwife with my mother. We help women during their pregnancies and bring babies
into the world.

LM: What a satisfying and joyous task. You are a lovely young lady. Do you have a boyfriend?

Pia: Nein. (blushing) Most of the men my age
are away in combat. There are others but we don’t know who we can trust.
Neighbors have turned in neighbors. Family has gone against family. It is best
not to start a relationship. Although, there is one young man I’ve met…

LM: Not everyone in Germany agrees with Hitler, and pockets of resistance have appeared. Where do you stand?

Pia:
I am a Christian, and as such I cannot sanction the activities of the Nazis.
They have taken on the role of God deciding who lives and who dies. The
Nuremburg laws require me to report the birth of Jewish babies and infants who
are born with disabilities. The authorities take these children away, so Mutti and I have chosen to keep certain
information to ourselves.

LM: That could be very dangerous to you, couldn’t it?

Pia: Yes,
I could lose my license…or worse. The Nazi arrest and deport those who go
against their policies, but I cannot stand by and do nothing. We shall see if I
can make a difference one baby at a time.

About
the book:

Midwife Pia Hertz and her mother Sabine have been delivering babies long before the Nazis came to power. Now, the Third Reich has implemented mandates that require Jewish babies and other “undesirables” to be killed as part of The Final Solution. Is Pia’s new faith in Christ strong enough to defy the laws of man?

Despite the agony of the injury at the Battle of Drøbak Sound that took his arm, Dieter Fertig is relieved he’s no longer part of Hitler’s army. He returns to Berlin and discovers Jews are being deported by the thousands. When he realizes the Nuremburg Laws require his best friend’s baby girl to be killed, he must find a way to spirit the child out of Germany before the Nazis discover her existence. 

Inspired by the biblical story of Shiprah and Puah, the midwives who saved Jewish babies during Pharaoh’s reign, Love’s Belief shows how one person’s actions can change the world.

Purchase Link: https://amzn.to/30seRI6

Linda Shenton Matchett is an author, speaker, and history geek. A native of Baltimore, Maryland, she was born a stone’s throw from Fort McHenry and has lived in historic places all her life. Linda is a member of ACFW, RWA, and Sisters in Crime. She is a volunteer docent and archivist at the Wright Museum of WWII. To learn more about Linda and her books, visit: http://www.LindaShentonMatchett.com. Receive a free short story when you sign up for her newsletter https://mailchi.mp/74bb7b34c9c2/lindashentonmatchettnewsletter. Connect with her on http://www.facebook.com/LindaShentonMatchettAuthor, http://www.twitter.com/lindasmatchett, or http://www.pinterest.com/lindasmatchett

New Release: The Blackgaard Chronicles Cross-Check

In this third installment of The Blackgaard Chronicles, the evil Dr. Regis Blackgaard continues to scheme through his henchmen to gain access to Whit’s End and the Applesauce program. One underling, Richard Maxwell, seeks to corrupt Whit’s young friends and even becomes an arsonist. Can Whit and the cause of good prevail?

I’ve said it more than once, some of my favorite moments have been in the car listening to Adventures in Odyssey. My husband is as big of a fan as anyone, and as an amateur thespian in community theater years ago, he appreciates a great performance. Dr. Regis Blackgaard never disappoints. I’d love for that guy to read out of the phone book. What a rich, deep voice!

Well, Dr. Blackgaard isn’t just a voice, he’s also in books. The Blackgaard Chronicles has a new release, Cross-Check. You can check it out HERE.

I’m part of a blogging team for Adventures in Odyssey Club. That means I post materials from AIOC in exchange for club membership. I’m a huge fan of all things Adventures in Odyssey, so I hope you check out Cross-Check!

Match Made in Heaven FREE eBook Mother’s Day Weekend

Match Made in Heaven FREE eBook
Friday, Saturday, & Mother’s Day!

Beth Prescott wants to make a difference with the senior citizens she serves as a volunteer coordinator, but their matchmaking efforts leave her guarded. She’s experienced too much pain to make that leap again.

Dean Kellerman returns to the Finger Lakes area to help his grandfather and heal his own broken heart. He’s recommitted his life to Christ, and doesn’t want any distractions.When his grandfather needs assistance with a senior program, it places Dean right in Beth’s path.

Can these two surrender their pasts to Christ and have faith in each other and their future?
 Grab MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

“Julie’s writing just draws you into the character’s world like you are right there with them.”

— Amazon customer review
 Don’t miss book updates! Follow my Amazon and Goodreads pages.

Like my books? Reviews are the best way to help an author. Thanks for leaving a review!

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PRIVACY | TERMS | REPORT ABUSE

Originally posted
https://mailchi.mp/c7022017d09f/juliearduini

May 2019 Fiction Finder New Releases

May 2019 New Releases

More in-depth descriptions of these books can be found on the ACFW Fiction Finder website.

Contemporary Romance:

When Love Won’t Wait by Roger E. Bruner — Laugh at Pastor Dan’s impulsive efforts to get out of the ministry and marry a woman of his own choosing by going against his domineering widowed mother’s wishes. (Contemporary Romance, Independently Published)

A Perfect Amish Match by Vannetta Chapman — After three failed relationships, Amish bachelor Noah Graber would rather disappoint his parents than try again. But when matchmaker Olivia Mae Miller agrees to provide courting lessons, Noah’s perfect match becomes clear—it’s Olivia Mae herself! With ailing grandparents at home, she hadn’t planned on love or marriage. Might a future with Noah be everything she’s been missing? (Contemporary Romance from Love Inspired [Harlequin])

Sing a New Song by Candee Fick — Songbird Gloria Houghton has always needed to be the center of attention, but the spotlight has shifted. Seeking fame and a fresh start, she finds a new stage in Branson, Missouri…only to risk being replaced by a manipulative rival. If Gloria can’t be the star, who is she? Jack-of-all-trades Nick Sherwood is just one leaf on a vast family tree that includes a restaurant chef, hotel owners, and even the headline act at a family-owned theater. He’s seen how fame can blind a person with jealousy and is more than content to stay in the background thank you very much. If only he wasn’t so fascinated–and irritated–by the newest addition to the staff. After a disaster of a first impression and financial difficulties land Gloria in the humblest of jobs—with Nick as her boss—it might be time for her to learn to sing a new song. (Contemporary Romance from Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas)

Pigtails and a Tool Belt by Janetta Fudge-Messmer — The Christian Romance where circumstances seem impossible. But with God – all things are possible. (Contemporary Romance from Winged Publications)

Wooing Cadie McCaffrey by Bethany Turner — After four years of dating Will, Cadie questions his love for her and sends him packing. Their breakup only makes Will more determined to become the man Cadie wants him to be. With the help of his work buddies and tactics drawn from Cadie’s favorite romantic comedies, he devises a “foolproof” plan. What could possibly go wrong? (Contemporary Romance from Revell – A Division of Baker Publishing)

General Contemporary:

Over the Waters by Deborah Raney — As “Dr. Botox” to the bored rich women of Chicago, plastic surgeon Max Jordan was shocked by the decision of his son, Joshua, to focus his medical talent on Haitian orphans. Embittered by Joshua’s death, Max searches for resolution in the very place his son called home. The selfless labor of Joshua’s coworkers stuns Max. He is particularly taken by American volunteer Valerie Austin, whose dream of a honeymoon on a tropical beach were crushed, replaced by a stint working in the impoverished orphanage. But Valerie’s view of Joshua’s sacrifice challenges everything Max has lived for. Now Max wonders if he can ever return to his “Max-a-Million” lifestyle, or if the doors to his gilded cage have finally opened. (General Contemporary from Raney Day Press)

Historical:

True Freedom by Carol Ashby — When a Roman slave rescues his master’s daughter from the kidnapping arranged by her own brother, will his sacrificial service earn the freedom and love he never dreamed possible, or will it only end in death? (Historical from Cerrillo Press)

Historical Romance:

The Daughter’s Predicament by Mary Eileen Davis — Can a patient love win her heart? As Isabelle Atwood’s romance prospects are turning in her favor, a family scandal derails her dreams. While making a quilt for her own hope chest, Isabelle’s half-sister becomes pregnant out of wedlock and Isabelle–always the unfavored daughter–becomes the family sacrifice to save face. Isabelle loves her sister, but with three suitors interested, will she really allow herself to be manipulated into a marriage without love? Or will the man leaving her secret love poems sweep her off her feet? (Historical Romance from Mountain Brook Ink)

Mail-Order Mishaps by Susan Page Davis, Linda Ford, Vickie McDonough, and Erica Vetsch — In The Bride’s Dilemma by Susan Page Davis, Eve Martin arrives in Cheyenne to learn that man she came to marry is in jail, accused of a violent murder. But has God brought her here to help save Caleb Blair’s life? In Romancing the Rancher by Linda Ford, Amelia expects a safe home for herself and her niece in Montana as mail-order bride to Zach Taggerty. Only Zach has never heard of her. In The Marriage Sham by Vickie McDonough, Texas mail-order bride Zola Bryant is a widowed newlywed. Worse, they were never truly wed because the officiant was an outlaw not a preacher. What will she do now that her life and reputation are in tatters? In The Galway Girl by Erica Vetsch, a mail-order mix-up sends Irish lass Maeve O’Reilly to the Swedish community of Lindsborg, Kansas. Will Kaspar Sandberg consider it a happy accident or a disaster to be rectified as soon as possible? (Historical Romance from Barbour Publishing)

Lord of Her Heart by Sherrinda Ketchersid — Lady Jocelyn Ashburne suspects something is amiss at her family’s castle because her father ceases to write to her. When she overhears a plot to force her into vows—either to the church or a husband—she disguises herself and flees the convent in desperation to discover the truth. Malcolm Castillon of Berkham is determined to win the next tournament and be granted a manor of his own. After years of proving his worth on the jousting field, he yearns for a life of peace. Rescuing a scrawny lad who turns out to be a beautiful woman is not what he bargained for. Still, he cannot deny that she stirs his heart like no other, in spite of her conniving ways. Chaos, deception, and treachery threaten their goals, but both are determined to succeed. Learning to trust each other might be the only way either of them survives. (Historical Romance from Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas)

Love’s Belief by Linda Shenton Matchett — When the Third Reich implements mandates that require Jewish babies and other “undesirables” to be killed as part of The Final Solution, is midewife Pia Hertz’s new faith in Christ strong enough to defy the laws of man? Dieter Fertig is relieved he’s no longer part of Hitler’s army, despite the reason–a battle that cost his arm. After he returns to Berlin, only to discover the Nuremburg Laws require his best friend’s baby girl to be killed, he must find a way to spirit the child out of Germany before the Nazis discover her existence. (Historical Romance from Shortwave Press)

Shelter Bay by Pamela S. Meyers — Adventurous bicyclist Maureen Quinn and her best friend, Preston Stevens, a member of the U.S. Life Saving Service, find love and face life-altering events on the shores of Lake Michigan. (Historical Romance from Mantle Rock Publishing)

Mystery:

Fallen Leaf by Julie B. Cosgrove — When a DNA kit reveals blond, blue-eyed Jessica Warren is half Cherokee, she confronts her adoptive parents and learns her birth father is in prison…for murder! Now he wants her help in exonerating him. Can Jessica trust the handsome, young Tulsa district attorney to help, or does he have an agenda of his own? (Cozy Mystery from Write Integrity Press)

Bitter Pill by Richard L. Mabry, MD — Things were going along just fine until the miracle fouled them up. (Medical Mystery, Independently Published)

Latter-day Cipher by Latayne C. Scott — Kirsten Young, a well-known and rebellious Utah heiress, is found murdered in Provo Canyon. The strange markings carved into her flesh and the note written in 19th century code seem to cast a shadow on ancient Mormon laws. Journalist Selonnah Zee is assigned to cover the story– and it quickly grows out of control. (Historical Mystery from Moody)

Romantic Suspense:

Running Target by Elizabeth Goddard — A routine patrol turns deadly when marine deputy Bree Carrington’s boat is sunk by men carrying illegal weapons. Fleeing a barrage of bullets, she’s suddenly rescued by DEA agent Quinn Strand—her ex-boyfriend. Quinn’s return threatens more than Bree’s heart…because he’s the one the men are really after. As criminals hunt her to get to him, can Quinn and Bree take down a drug ring? (Romantic Suspense from Love Inspired [Harlequin])

Speculative:

The Pages of Her Life by James L. Rubart — Allison Moore’s dad was living a secret life and left her mom in massive debt. As she scrambles to help her mom find a way out, she’s given a journal, anonymously, during a visit to her favorite coffee shop. The pressure to rescue her mom mounts, and Allison pours her fears and heartache into the journal. But then the unexplainable happens. The words in the journal, her words, begin to disappear. And new ones fill the empty spaces—words that force her to look at everything she knows about herself in a new light. Ignoring those words could cost her everything…but so could embracing them. (Speculative from HarperCollins Christian Publishing)

Alive from NY FREE Livestream Saturday

Alive from New York Livestream
May 4, 2019
2:30 pm – 4:30 pm
– All times for this event are in Eastern Standard Time (EST)

“Alive from New York” is a Focus on the Family event designed to celebrate the sanctity of human life; marvel at the wonder of human development in the womb; and encourage advocacy for women facing unplanned pregnancies and the preborn. The event will feature live music and inspirational speeches from special guests, as well as abortion survivors. The culminating moment of the event will be a live 4D ultrasound broadcast on massive digital screens in Times Square.”

Livestream Registration is FREE!

Register NOW!

National Infertility Awareness Week #NIAW

Each year I try to spotlight this important and still misunderstood issue that cripples women and marriages emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. I’ve shared my polycystic ovarian syndrome story (I had to have 1/2 of each ovary removed just to function, forget fertility at that time, they were FIVE times the size of normal,) my miscarriage response (I was mad at God and judged His way for a straight year,) and the inconsiderate things people have said when I was struggling (now you know how I feel because I don’t have a boyfriend.)

This year I wanted to spotlight something that still gets little attention that I also experienced, secondary infertility. I admit I’ve been watching more of the Today show these days as women are driving the show and sharing their highs and lows. This week meteorologist Dylan Dreyer shared she went into work after waking up knowing she was miscarrying, and that her and her husband are experiencing secondary infertility.

Secondary infertility is when a woman has “one or more children but struggles to conceive another.”

Women’s Health magazine, April 22, 2019

I knew when we wanted to try to conceive our second child, it wasn’t going to be easy. I still had PCOS, one of the worst cases my surgeon had seen. Years later when I had a hysterectomy at 38, that surgeon said I was also filled with endometriosis. My monthlys were never regular and my hormones remain unbalanced. We tried for a few months, nothing. Went on Clomid, nothing.

One year passed, Then success, only to miscarry at eight weeks. The grief and anger took me a year to heal from, and in that time, we were still trying. I watched the other moms at MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) announce their second pregnancies. Third. Even fourth. Their first borns had playmates.

I was so focused on having another child and judging God for how some families looked at a baby and got pregnant while month after month I was no where. I failed at seeing the blessing I had in our son, although I loved our time together and what a thoughtful, intelligent little guy he was. I kept thinking he deserved a sibling.

People didn’t know what to say, but felt they had to say something. They reminded me I had a child. That God’s ways are best. Things that were true, but it didn’t diminish my obsession or the grief I felt.

When I did become pregnant, it was during a month I felt during prayer was important. I hoped it meant it was the month we’d become pregnant. For my husband, ten years older than me, it was the month he told God he’d have to sit me down and tell me we had to be done trying if I wasn’t pregnant by the end of said month. He didn’t want to be a “Frank Gifford” taking his kid to school. We had one day with my reproductive schedule and our own schedules to give it the old college try. For anyone who understands infertility, there is little love left in the art when you are trying so hard. But try we did. And three pregnancy tests later, we knew.

I struggled for a LOOOONNNNGG time with the time it took for us to conceive and the age gap between the kids. I watched so many siblings grow up together, and there are five years between ours. It seemed so wide and I worried they would not get along, or even know each other as they grew. For all those times I questioned, blamed and judged God, of course He knew His timing was perfect.

Our baby had a lot of chronic health issues. At one point we nearly lost her, and in her first year, she was hospitalized three times. That doesn’t count the ER visits or PICU stay. It doesn’t factor in the therapies that seemed hopeless as she was so sick she was delayed in every possible way, including movement. Not just crawling or walking, but moving. Her body was tired and weak.

Had we had kids close in age, I never, never could have made it work. I’m not saying other families could/can not, I just wasn’t created to juggle all that entailed at the time. There were so many medical appointments and therapies. A lot of this I was able to schedule when our son was in school. There were many times we had to adjust and put more on him because he was older, and he took it all like a champ, My worry that the age gap was too much?

Those moms I was so envious about? Their complaint was those close in age siblings fought all the time. Our kids had a bond so strong that one school conference I comforted the teachers because they were crying. Every day they watched our son walk to his baby sister’s class, take her by the hand, and walk her to the bus. Every. Day. When his peers were checking out girls and their hair and all those tween things, our kid was taking care of his sister. Today, at 15 and 20, they are very close. She misses him when he is away for an extended time with classes and work. There are nights after we’ve fallen asleep that he her asks if she wants a snack and they “sneak” off to Sheetz. That gap is perfect.

But I will never forget my time in the infertility wilderness. It is wrought with emotion and long in loneliness, especially when around other people. If this is your story, I wish I could give you a hug and let you cry all over my shirt. I’d let you vent your heart out because isolation doesn’t help. Sisterhood, the true sorority of women who know, really know, that does help.

A few years ago I shared my story in the mutli-author book, A Walk in the Valley. We share our infertility journeys from diagnosis to where we were at the time of publication. There are six of us, and not one of our experiences was the same, yet the thread of infertility gives all readers something to find hope and encouragement in. I HIGHLY recommend this not just for any woman, but her husband. Their loved ones. We talk about our doctors and the things they said that helped, and didn’t. Every aspect of infertility you can think about, I think it’s in there. It truly is the book I wish had existed for me back then. I promise you, there’s no financial windfall for me to push this book. I want to see you live as free as possible as you surrender everything surrounding infertility.

And know I’m rooting and praying for you.

A Walk in the Valley softcover

A Walk in the Valley kindle/eBook FREE KINDLE UNLIMITED

Infertility Information and Resources

Where I’d Be Without Living Hope

Words have always meant something to me, long before I decided to make it my full-time focus. I was always reading, and many say, always talking. Lame confession, but lyrics are just as important to me. Maybe it was PMS, but as a teen my sister walked into my room to find me crying.

Why?

There is a line in Poison’s Every Rose Has a Thorn that gets me every time. The words just get me. I know. Poison. Hair band. It’s the line about meeting someone new, and what they had never meant anything. Not the real lyrics, but gah, getting me even now as I paraphrase them.

As I walked a new life of faith in Christ, words became that much more holy to me. God’s word. It’s not archaic history to collect dust on a shelf to me. It is life. The Psalms are artistry and counseling at once. Song of Songs? Hello? If you don’t think God loves love, then you’ve missed those passages that make me blush. (Please understand the love reserved in those pages are about married love, and it’s hot, people!)

Anyway, back to lyrics. As I’ve clawed out of emotional pits and rejoiced on mountaintop experiences, music and lyrics have been my anthems for those moments. This Easter season, actually all year, it has been My Living Hope by Phil Wickham and Brian Mark Johnson. The words leap off the page and crush my soul. I will never do it justice to say that this song so perfectly displays who Jesus is and what His mission was, is, and will be.

It got me thinking. When we enjoyed our Easter service yesterday, our pastor made a comment that started a thread for me to follow. What if? What if Jesus rejected the plan? Where would we be?

I had to follow that thread. And I’m a terrible evangelist, but those who have known me, I mean knew me in high school and college and know me today, they know there has been a change that no human could get credit for. When people say prayer doesn’t work or God isn’t real, my heart hurts. Hurts. Because I am living proof that prayer changes everything, even if and especially when it doesn’t go the way I wanted. And God, through Christ accepting the plan for His life, death, and resurrection, has been so real in my life.

I want to share that thread because maybe you’re without hope. I’m nobody special. But maybe through my words you will see you have Living Hope. And you will chase that thread down. I promise you, Jesus will meet you there.

Where I’d Be Without Living Hope:

–I’d be an alcoholic. How do I know? I used alcohol to numb my anger and rejection. I used it to give myself false confidence that in reality, made me a verbal bully. I was drinking double sloe gin fizzes and not getting buzzed after. It wasn’t immediate, but as I slowly trusted that God wasn’t a tyrant shaking His head at me, I realized His arms were open and His love, unconditional. When I hear the words “He set me free,” I know that’s true.

–I’d be divorced. I wouldn’t have even met my husband, I’m sure, because that entire coming together was woven in heaven and executed in a fashion no man or woman could put together. Even if I had, and we had married I assure you, my brokenness I entered marriage in would have sent me packing pretty early. My mindset was to leave a relationship before I got rejected. When things got tough, I was gone. If not physically, emotionally. I also would have acted on what Dr. Gary Chapman called “the tinglies.” It’s often an innocent thing someone else does that gives you positive affirmation years after marriage has settled in. I am certain I would have followed that thread to destruction. Saying a prayer to allow Christ to be a daily part of my life didn’t get me a get out of crisis card for marriage, but my leaning HARD on Him when things were tough and I was selfish, I KNOW that is why I remain married at all.

-I wouldn’t be a mom. For one, that was not something I wanted. I didn’t grow up like my friends dreaming of raising children. I was career oriented. Even after that slow yes to trading my angry life for one of hope, I discovered I had severe PCOS and most likely could not have kids. The pain I had led to a surgery where half my ovaries were removed. They were 5x the size of normal. The pain was so great I literally laid down my desire to be a mom and told God I trusted Him. That is not a prayer I throw out easily or often. Our children are 20 and 15. God also spared the 20 year old in the womb when I had a terrible car accident. I had bowling balls that should have flown forward when my van flipped. They fell out the back window like a couple of dice. The medics said it defied logic that I walked away without a scratch. Years later, our daughter was at death’s door because of a doctor error. It was the second time I surrendered my desire to be a mom to Him and said if He had to take her, I’d need everything He had to survive, but I trusted His ways. I know not all prayers are answered the ways ours was, and trust me, I plan to spend most of eternity asking Jesus these questions. And He will be okay with that.

–I wouldn’t be an author. I’d most likely be writing fan fiction living out jealous and bitter of people like EL James. Sure, I get jealous at times of people who write trash and earn millions, but I can’t put a pricetag on lives changed when I write what He tells me to write, when He directs. Those words give someone Living Hope.

In short, He has transformed my deep pain into a positive daily walk where I live to encourage others. He has healed my body and my mind. He has given me tools to enjoy marriage and parenthood, even when my prayers were not answered in ways I wanted. He gave me courage to let go of fear of rejection and write so readers could surrender their issues and find freedom in Christ. He has given me HIs strength to overcome anger, grief, bitterness, betrayal and so much more not just from my old life, but even these days where I consider Him the beginning of my day, my middle, my end, my every part of my day. It is not an easy life. The tears I have shed.

But. But. He did not become our Living Hope for nothing. All of His sacrifice has eternal purpose and in my limited understanding, I want nothing more than to cling to HIs robe and follow.

If that’s something you’d like, feel free to contact me at juliearduini@juliearduini.com. There is also a much better worded message and prayer from our Easter service. Want to read the lyrics to Living Hope? Find them here.

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I have a new release, a Christian romance novella that shares a little of my own faith story fictionalized called Match Made in Heaven. Check it out ! Free Kindle Unlimited. Softcover coming soon.