Betty Adams's Blog, page 71

Dreams of Flying

Thank you all so much for your updoots and feedback. It gives me the will to go on. Want to see more? Think about becoming a Patreon Tea refuses to buy itself and the more time one has to spend on a day job the less time there is for befuddled aliens.  What is flying like?

So I had a flying dream recently. Only flying isn't quite the right word. I don't know that I have ever had a "flying" dream. I can't remember ever soaring through the sky like a hawk, or flitting from tree to tree like a sparrow.
In my dreams I glide. 
I take a step off the bottom step of the stairs and glide away. There is tremendous effort required but very little work. It is something like skateboarding. When you are on a down-slope there is very little power involved, gravity is doing the heavy lifting, but you have to pay attention and balance. You must make a thousand tiny corrections as you move. That is what my gliding dreams are like. I start on my feet and then when I get gliding along nicely I pull my limbs into a sitting or "water slide" position. If I loose concentration for a moment I stumble and fall back to the ground. It feels so very real.
A few seconds into the dream I remember not being able to do this. Then I figure that as I am doing it now I must be able to do it. Therefore the times I couldn't must have been the dream time and this is real. These dreams often last quite a long time.
What kind of flying dreams do you have? 
Do you soar? 
Do you flit? 
Do you glide? 

​ 

Humans are Weird - Quilx'tch Kickstarter

Humans are Weird
101 Tales of Comedy and Error
Greetings my fellow sentients!
 I have spent the majority of my career studying the nutritional habits of the known sentient species of the galaxy. With the recent discovery of humanity my work has focused on our strange new omnivorous friends. The questions raised simply by the fact that they are predators have sent the Universities of the Home Clusters into near chaos. Therefore I have spent the past year gathering data on their odd behaviors. I have observed their tendency to pet everything that moves, and a few things that don’t. I have observed their willingness to eat nearly anything that fits their nutritional profile and several items that are outright poisons. I have observed their capacity to turn anything, but most especially food sources, into explosive incendiary devices.
However space travel is resource intensive, as are fireproof tweed jackets and hats. Delightful stuff asbestos; but heavy to carry star to star. Sometimes I arrive at a human base and the contents of the cupboards are “steak” and “limes”. Due to the animal products in one and the acid of the other I have needed to bring all of my own food. Again this is expensive.
Therefore I have initiated a “Kickstarter” project to fund my research projects. I am currently learning the “ropes” as it were.
This Kickstarter project will be to fund the write up and publication of my last year’s worth of research.
       “Humans are Weird
                       -
101 Tale of Comedy and Error”
At the moment I am making the introduction video.
I will keep you updated.
 
Thank you all so much for your updoots and feedback. It gives me the will to go on. Want to see more? Think about becoming a Patreon  Tea refuses to buy itself and the more time one has to spend on a day job the less time there is for befuddled aliens. 

Big Announcement on Monday Seriously, I Promise

Barring the deaths of any creators who greatly influenced my childhood I will have a big announcement next Monday. 
Here is a hint. Humans are Weird and the internet needs backups. 

Apology

I know I promised a big announcement on Monday but I just couldn't seem to find the drive to post after the news broke about Stan Lee. RIP old man. You filled my world with joy and catchy jingles from the time I was a child 

Humans are Weird - Pardon Me

​Humans are Weird – Pardon Me


“Pardon me Human Friend LaChance?” Twistunder began as he approached the human at the edge of the joint recreation pool.
“Eh?”
The sound was listed as *general recognition of non-threatening disturbance-continue to communicate-repeat previous communication attempt*. It was quite a lot of meaning to imprint in one tone and Twistunder was rather fascinated with the idea but he was here for a different, and potentially more offensive set of questions.
“Pardon me Human Friend LaChance,” Twistunder began again. “May I intrude on your meditation time?”
“My what now?” LaChance asked, his face twisting into perplexed and relaxed confusion.
“You are reading and meditating over the thoughts in that book,” Twistunder indicated the woven mass of rustling lanolin.
“Yeah,” the human said as he examined the book and his face smoothed over in surprise, his stripes flushing alternating colors. “I guess that is what I am doing…what was your question?”
“I asked,” Twistunder repeated, “if I may intrude.”
“Intrude away little buddy,” Human Friend LaChance said cheerfully.
Taking that as a full invitation Twistunder quickly scrambled out of the water, onto the rock the human was sitting on, and up into the twin broad mobile appendages. Twistunder marveled anew at the tightly bound masses of muscle under the thick and rough outer membrane. It was easy to believe that a human could race across the ground at a fantastic six unds per second. Human Friend LaChance let out a rumbled from deep in his chest that was called a chuckle as Twistunder settled over his primary appendage joints.
“I have a question,” Twistunder began, making sure to angle his primary gripping end at Human Friend LaChance’s face. “It is a question that might be offensive.”
“We’re both scientists,” LaChance replied, twisting his face to reveal his broad, enameled teeth. “I doubt I’ll be offended.”
“I wish to ask the meaning of that physical word you just used,” Twistunder replied.
“I used a physical word?” Human Friend LaChance in surprise.
“Yes,” Twistunder explained.
“So what made you think it was maybe offensive?” Human Friend LaChance asked.
“It was very similar to the poem prayer,” Twistunder answered, displaying the motion with one appendage.
“Well not offended but very much not Catholic,” Human Friend LaChance said with a laugh. “And I certainly wasn’t praying just now. Can you show me what I did?”
Twistunder bobbed his primary gripping end eagerly up and down in confirmation.
“You did this,” he said.
He arched his body up, gripping Human Friend LaChance’s kneecaps for support, and stiffened into his best approximation of a bipedal form. He lifted one primary gripping appendage and lightly tapped first the top of his ‘head’, then his ‘face’, then his ‘chest’. Human Friend LaChance burst out laughing so hard that Twistunder had to drop back down and grip both legs to avoid falling off. When the laughter subsided Human Friend LaChance reached down to pat him in a friendly gesture.
“Not meant to be communication Bud,” he said cheerfully. “It is more of an internal reaction to circumstances.”
Twistunder drooped in disappointment and Human Friend LaChance patted him again.
“But I can translate it for you as communication anyway,” Human Friend LaChance assured him.
He stiffened in the first gesture.
“Hey! I need my glasses!” He said. “You know what glasses are right?”
“Artificial light focal point generators made from various crystalline substances,” Twistunder replied.
“Yup! So then,” he touched the top of his head, “are they on my head? No? Well maybe I already put them on my eyes and just forgot.” He touched the wide bones over his eyes. “Nope? Well maybe I hung them on my neck?” He touched his chest. “Nope. Guess I left them at home. No biggie.”
The human ceased the explanation and smiled down at his friend as he patted him.
“That explain it for you Bud?” He asked.
“It is an external diagnostic,” Twistunder observed.
“Pretty much,” Human Friend LaChance said with a shrug.
“Thank you Human Friend LaChance,” Twistunder said.
The Undulate settled down on the human’s legs as LaChance leaned back and resumed reading. Thinking about human behavior was fine and all but sunning on top of a warm mammalian muscle mass was something worth doing too. 

Thank you all so much for your updoots and feedback. It gives me the will to go on. Want to see more? Think about becoming a Patreon  Tea refuses to buy itself and the more time one has to spend on a day job the less time there is for befuddled aliens. 

My Favorite Toy

First off this dog is not a digger. That is important. Some dogs love to dig and dig holes compulsively. This dog it too lazy to move fallen leaves most  times. 

Sometimes a dog's favorite toy has sentimental value. 
Sometimes it has actual cash value. 
Sometimes it is merely the only "toy" that can withstand his play. 
This pupper has utterly destroyed every ball, chewtoy, rawhide bone, and incidental garden tool that has gotten in his way. The only thing that survived was that big old yellow float. For dragging purposes we keep a nice cotton rope tide into the float attachments. The rope doesn't last long but it lets  him position it right where he wants it. Now is the part about digging. That dang float kept rolling away on him. So that lazy dog dug one hole the exact depth and width to keep the float immobile. He gnaws happily on the rope and keeps his favorite toy right there. Until he wants to move it. 

Falling Away Into Faerie Land

The rain is trading places with frost every other night and all of the mycorrhizae are going wild with mushrooms. I am reasonably sure this one is guarding a portal to fairy land in its cap.  This might be one too. 

Big News Coming Up

Big things going down over at Pateron! I have started posting Pateron only content. So far it is my primitive concept art that I use to get actual artists to draw me aliens. 
But even bigger things will be going down here on Monday. No spoilers but there will be an announcement. 

Best of Intentions

Why is my dog wearing my belt? That is a very good question. 
You see his old collar was chaffing his neck badly. This was clearly unacceptable. Trip to the dog stuff store. Careful consideration. Rather large purchase. Home again. He looks good in the new harness. 
5
Count them.
It took him five minutes to utterly destroy the harness. 
In that five minutes the old collar had mysteriously disappeared. I took one of my old belts and made a serviceable collar for him. So there goes my writing goals for the day. 
Cheers. 

Humans are Weird - Human Nonsense

Humans are Weird – Human Nonsense
               

“I really think it is just their pattern seeking manifesting,” Twistunder insisted for the third time.
No one was really satisfied with this answer, least of all him. However no one in the huddle of Undulates around the datapad argued against the assertion or offered any better explanation. Twistunder ran his best sensory appendage over the screen again just in case he had missed some detail in the image. He hadn’t.
“Perhaps we are missing the details due to visual differences?” One of the physiologists suggested. “I mean the meaning might be far simpler than we are assuming.”
“Well that is a given,” another pointed out. “All of the charcoal based iridescence is the same color, or rather lack of color to them.”
“Black lines,” the first agreed. “It makes it hard to say how much we should read into details that we can see but they cannot.”
“Even though they created them,” a third said.
The huddle fell silent again. Someone absently stroked Twistunder in a comforting gesture and he returned it.
“Cuddle puddle,” Twistunder muttered.
“Say what?” Inquired someone from the bottom of the pile.
“I speculate that this,” Twistunder lightly touched one of the more confusing images on the screen, “indicates what we are doing now, a communal huddle. They have labeled it a cuddle puddle.”
A hum of thoughtful consideration ran through the huddle as they considered the mass of lines the human had drawn.
“It is the right number of appendages,” someone offered, “approximately. If I am seeing this correctly.”  
“So the question is,” Twistunder finally stated. “Is this an honest attempt at training material or is it a joke?”
The huddle fell silent as they examined the primitive visual representations. Twistunder detached himself and mimicked the first entry. Twisting himself into a tight and uncomfortable circle.
“Bagel,” one colleague read from the sheet.  “Smol frien is lonely. Apply pats.”
“Simplistic,” Twistunder observed. “But not inaccurate.”
“I wouldn’t mind a human attempting to physically comfort me if I were in that state honestly,” another observed.
He curled his appendages under himself and let his notochord relax.
“Unduloaf,” his colleague read. “Smol frien is much content but a lil not warmz. Cuddles or to make it warmz suggested.”
“Again simplistic,” Twistunder began.
“And grammatically nightmarish,” a linguist added.  
“But accurate as far as it goes,” Twistunder finished. “I propose we analyze each image thus. One of us attempts to mimic the drawing, and then we analyze the text.”
“And then ask the humans what this nonsense is?” Asked the most experienced ambassador.
“And then ask the humans what this nonsense is,” Twistunder confirmed.