Lori Stanley Roeleveld's Blog, page 60

Young Men in the Shadow of Christian Grey

Much is said about the potential damage that 50 Shades of Grey could cause women but I’m not hearing much about the damage it will cause to men.

I spoke recently with a young man who walked in on a 50 Shades of Grey event at a local establishment. He was clearly confused by it. “That’s the kind of stuff that comes into a guy’s head sometimes but then the guy usually knows to get rid of it because it’s wrong. Now, here I was, surrounded by women wearing handcuffs “just for fun” and asking me to blindfold them. I guess I should have liked it but it was so out of whack I left. When I think about it, it just messes with my head. It seems stupid now to reject it when so many women seem to want it but I’m not really into hurting women.”

It’s sexist and naïve to think that sado-masochistic role playing and/or experimenting with abusive sex will only be harmful to the women involved. The men in my world are as imperfect as the women and they struggle, too, to work out their relationships in ways that get their needs met and honor both God and the other people involved. Now, they have Christian Grey out there acting like a funhouse mirror of the total man. He’s always been there, of course. Like the young man told me – it’s stuff that comes into a person’s head. But in the past, the Christian Grey’s haven’t been celebrated on morning news shows and no teenage boys found books about him on their mothers’ bedside tables.

I have NEVER heard Galatians 3:28, so frequently cited by women in defending women, cited to defend a man but I will do that now. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Just as 50 Shades of Gray is detrimental to women, so it is for men. Just as it’s challenging to be a woman in this culture, it is also hard to find your way into a manhood worthy of celebration and respect. This movie does nothing to help that.

Do we want young men who have been hurt or damaged in their childhood to imagine the pathway to healing and freedom is to inflict pain on others? From what I understand, Christian and Anastasia wind up married, loving and accepting one another but none of the parties celebrating this story are centered on healing and marriage. The parties and the media focus on the bondage and pain. The Christian Grey who is held up as heroic is the one we meet at the start of the story – the controlling man who becomes stimulated by inflicting pain on his partner.

These stories have always existed. They have always been able to be accessed but this is different because as a culture we’re elevating and celebrating it in all its twisted, erotic glory.

The book of Galatians is all about our freedom in Christ. I believe you’re free to read this book and to watch this movie. Some will do just that and walk away unscathed but they’ll be rare. I’m not interested in a culture of censorship or boycotts but I love free speech. I choose to exercise mine in voicing serious concerns about celebrating this book and movie.

When the first Christian, Stephen, was martyred, stoned by angry Jews, the murderers tossed their coats at the feet of the young man, Saul. One verse about that haunts me. It simply says, “Saul approved the stoning of Stephen.”

It doesn’t say he picked up a stone. All it seems he did was watch their coats. But, he watched and approved of their actions. Two verses later we learn that Saul went on to torment other believers, arrest them, throw them in prison, and threaten them with death. It began with what he witnessed and approved. There’s a lesson there about the influence of what young men and women witness.

But, Saul’s story didn’t end there, it ended with redemption through Jesus Christ. Anything that happens to an individual because they engage with 50 Shades of Grey does not have to end there either.

Jesus is all about redemption. Jesus, the One through whom we were all created, was rejected by us. He answered that rejection, not through inflicting pain, forcing submission, or seeking ways to control but by taking the punishment that was due us upon Himself even to the point of death on the cross.

He rose from death victorious over sin and death. He is victorious over any novel, feature film, or foolishness we humans can devise to mess with our own hearts and heads. He is present, active, and ready to work redemption in our lives and in the lives of our daughters and our sons.

E.L. James will not have the last word on anyone’s life. She’s just a novelist who wrote a story. And we all have choices about how we respond to art in any form. We aren’t androids mindlessly directed by input.

Still, damage will occur in the wake of this film – to women AND to men. To my writer friends, consider carefully what stories you send out into the world and don’t forsake storytelling if that’s your calling. Do you not see its power?

Do you want to combat 50 Shades of Grey? LIVE AND WRITE A BETTER STORY.

And to the rest, you have a voice. Use it to influence others to see this story for the damaging influence it is but always end your story, not with the thud of condemnation but with the clicking key of redemptive freedom in Jesus Christ.

Young men in the Shadow of Christian Grey #ChristianGrey http://t.co/Xs57m4jxRY #50ShadesOfGrey #amwriting #storytelling #liveabetterstory

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) February 9, 2015

That Moment We Part Ways – If Only for a Time

In every great quest story, the ones where a group of friends ventures out on a dangerous task, there comes a deciding moment. In that moment, the odds against them seem overwhelming. There are threats on every side. And yet, it’s clear the quest must be accomplished.

At that moment, there is usually a debate. The majority believes they must stay together at all costs. Safety in numbers. Power in unity. You know the drill. My bent would be to vote with this group.

But then, there’s always one, usually the undeniable leader, who says the words I dread to hear, “No, our best chance is to split up. You, two, take the mountain. You, two, the valley. And you two, remain on the path to divert the enemy.”

You know this guy, right? In the moment, I hate that guy. But, you know what? He’s always right.

That’s what happened after Pentecost. Jesus returned to the Father. His disciples huddled in the Upper Room. The Holy Spirit entered the scene, a raging inferno. God empowered the church and unleashed His Spirit on the waiting planet. The disciples added to their numbers daily. They had a mission and they were determined to accomplish it.

Then? Persecution. Arrests. Imprisonment. Beatings. Martyrdom.

I’m sure there was a discussion. Band together. Remain huddled. Unite for strength. But the leader, Jesus Christ, chose a different way.

Divide. Like seeds from a milkweed pod.

And here we all are. Stalks springing up from that parting, far from the original seed but moved by the same wind.

This is what’s happening now, too. In our time. God continues His plan.

Unite us around Jesus. Set us ablaze. Send us out from one another. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. And this way, the body grows. And this way, the seed is carried on the wind. And this way – two over the mountains, two through the valley, two on the open path to divert the enemy – the quest is carried on.

The parting feels like a death. Always.

The dividing feels like the worst possible plan.

What feels safe is not what will save us.

We always travel in the dark.

Sometimes we cross paths in the forest. A clearing appears and we share a meal, a song, a tale, and a prayer. We part again.

The wind unites us, though. The wind that carries us, the wind that whispers to us, the wind that moves the trees above us singing us to sleep when we stop for rest. He travels with us through this wind and reminds us that safety and unity rest with Him

Not in the huddle – Not in a place – Not in numbers – Not in staying home in the Shire, in comfort, at ease.

No, unity and safety are found outside the camp with Him – in caves, on Patmos, on the road to Damascus, on the road to Emmaus, on the beach, in a boat in a storm, in storefronts, in jungles, in abandoned movie theaters, cathedrals, living rooms, prison cells, and homeless shelters.

As we journey, do you hear Him call out instructions? You two, enter the business world. You two, take to sports. You two, care for children. You two, preach the word. You two, write blogs. You two, enter cancer wards. You two, take to the streets.

Don’t be afraid of the parting. Respect each others’ assignments. Brave the separation. You know the stories. He’s had us tell them since we first gathered around fires.

We always find one another at the end – when the quest is accomplished, the journey complete, when Jesus welcomes us home.

Is your small group or faith community facing adversity? Check out my talk on Thriving in Troubled Times – Lessons We Learn at the End of a Spear. Effective strategies David employed on his run from Saul. Praying for you all this week. Endure.

The Moment We Part Ways – If Only for a Time http://t.co/LFcgZev7Pi #EdSheeran #isthechurchdying #outsidethecamp #churchoutsidethelines

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) February 9, 2015

Epic Rudeness and Where It Leads

In my household, I have declared myself “The Arbiter of Big Deals.”

No one else in my family is qualified to decide whether or not something is a “big deal.” This has come about because other members of my household overuse phrases such as “It’s not a big deal.” “Why are you making this into such a big deal?” and “Don’t make such a big deal!”

There’s nothing more exasperating than being told that something you care about has been determined by others to be “no big deal.” It’s dismissive, disrespectful, and rude. I’m curbing the use of these phrases in my home by responding: “I’m sorry but we’ve determined that you’re not qualified to decide whether or not something is a big deal. Being the only certified Arbiter of Big Deals in this household, I will make a ruling on this matter and my ruling will stand.”

One phrase in the Love Chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, has always stuck out to me and until recently, I didn’t appreciate its importance. That phrase from verse 5 is, “Love is not rude.” Growing up, I struggled to imagine rudeness reaching a level worth mentioning in scripture. I no longer struggle to appreciate rudeness as unloving.

Repeatedly, the modern world responds to the Creator of All Things by rudely proclaiming what He cares about as “no big deal.”

God’s word holds out the value and worth of every single human life but the world responds, “Hey, human life is no big deal.” This week, we’ve seen terrorists release a slickly produced video of their heinous execution of a young man my son’s age – caged and burned alive. Another young aid worker, a girl, also my son’s age, has been declared dead, killed perhaps as a “PR stunt,” simply a pawn in a terrorist agenda. God says He will require an accounting for the lifeblood of every human. One day these terrorists will find out what a big deal really is.

God says children are a blessing but large portions of the world say these little ones are no big deal. This week, a new father is lauded as “heroic” for choosing to care for his newborn son, born with Down’s Syndrome. He certainly does seem heroic since the mother has chosen to walk away from the baby at the encouragement of her doctors. And how can we judge this mother since she’s swimming in a culture that says children are no big deal unless a mother wants them, unless they’re born perfect, unless they live up to the expectations of those expecting them?

God says the truth is a big deal. The world, like a sullen teen, rudely disagrees and responds that the truth, “ain’t no thang.” Brian Williams, an anchor on whom the public has bestowed deep trust, has confessed to “misremembering” the truth so that the story he’s been telling as an eyewitness is actually a lie. Obama and other politicians are working to spin the truth to serve their agenda, to control the stories, to manage our reactions, to control the day. We’ve begun to not even expect truth so we live in a constant state of hypervigilance, sorting through what we’re told like gleaners trying to find a few rare stalks of believable facts.

God is, in fact, the Supreme Arbiter of Big Deals. We don’t get to decide that it’s no big deal who we love or marry, that it’s no big deal how we worship, that it’s no big deal how we spend our time. And yet, like foolish children, we hear His commands and rudely respond, “Why are you making such a big deal of that, Lord? Chill.”

I rode to court this week with a young teen and his mother. He’d spent too many mornings pulling the covers over his head telling his mother school was “no big deal.” I watched a judge explain to him just what a big deal his truancy has become. I held my breath when he lied to the judge and cringed when he was caught in his lie. This young man will be facing a year’s worth of education in big deals in this judge’s presence.

I thought about everyone this teen has ignored along the way. How he’s even trying to reduce this judge to “no big deal.” Sadly, he’s a product of our culture. A culture that glorifies rudeness and suppresses the truth by declaring righteousness no big deal.

Writing this post has brought me to my knees, asking God to show me where I’ve been responding to Him the way family members have responded to me, the way this teen responded to the judge, “It’s not a big deal!” Where, I wonder, has God been nudging, prodding, convicting me but I’ve shrugged Him off, forgetting that He is the Supreme Arbiter of Big Deals. Who have I been ignoring along the way?

Want to be counter cultural? Resist rudeness. Know what’s important to God and proclaim it with your life. Refuse to reduce what’s important to God to no big deal. Ask Him what you’ve been waving off. Above all else, remember that love is the biggest deal of all.

And love isn’t rude, loved ones. Love isn’t rude.

I hope you’ve discovered my new book, Running from a Crazy Man (and other adventures traveling with Jesus), and that it’s an encouragement to you in the Lord. Amazon reviews help spread the word about the book and get it into the hands of others who need to renew their strength. Check out what others are saying and prayerfully consider adding your own review!

Epic Rudeness and Where It Leads http://t.co/ndGGMzxD66 #rude #BrianWilliams #BringLeoHome #KaylaMueller #Jesus

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) February 6, 2015

Jesus Loves the Patriots (a love letter to the snarky church ladies on Facebook last night)

Jesus loves the New England Patriots.

You know, that, don’t you?

During the big game, Jesus wasn’t scowling and shaking His finger at all the idolaters sitting in the stands or in front of big screen TV’s.

He wasn’t sending snarky tweets to His Father like “This morning they said they loved me but now look at them. #hateidolworshipers #feelingbetrayed #betterthingstodo” #whataboutthepoor?”

He didn’t smile with special favor on the more righteous Christians who assessed the moral value of each commercial or who condemned the fans of football in their Facebook status updates, encouraging them to turn off their televisions and not sully themselves by watching “fallen Katy Perry” at half-time. (Poor girl’s gone worldly – we should be praying for her, not snacking on nachos during her performance. Seriously, people. Drop the rocks already.)

I was so disheartened last night at the covey of self-righteous Martha’s clucking on social media; it inspired me to look up the collective noun for a group of crows and learn that it’s called a “murder” of crows. Seems appropriate for all the killjoy comments peppering my newsfeed.

Jesus loves the Patriots, the Seahawks, and the killjoys so we all need to take a breath and think this one through. Is it truly evil and idolatrous to watch football?

It certainly can be. For some, it has risen to a level of worship. They should repent and take that energy and passion to Jesus. I do feel for families abandoned because a loved one would prefer to stare at the television living vicariously through others rather than engage in his or her own life. Yes, that’s wrong. And many people try to fill the emptiness of their souls with sports instead of Jesus.

But Christian romance novel reading can also become idolatry or Downton Abbey or patting ones’ self on the back for never engaging in fun “in the name of Jesus,” making self-righteousness a kind of sport. Idolatry is a devious sin that creeps up on us whenever we’re not looking at Jesus.

Think about this, friends, while Jesus dined with Pharisees and sinners, there were little children huddling in the dark hungry and abused, probably in the same vicinity as the dinner. We know that Jesus has compassion for children. That He abhors abuse. That He cares about the hungry. So, we know that enjoying a fire, a fine meal, some stories and laughter with a group of sinners doesn’t mean Jesus was ignoring His Father’s business. Neither were the Christians who gathered last night with family or friends to enjoy a great game of football. (And if you prefer not to watch football, God bless you, too!)

I can oppose sex-trafficking and still sit with my dad to cheer on our team. I can work to further the gospel even as I share a pizza with my husband during a knuckle-biting playoff.

If Jesus, the measure of all righteousness, could walk on this planet and enjoy a wedding or a banquet, the laughter of a child, a solitary starry night, a boat ride, or some fish over a fire on the beach with friends, we can also gather to watch a game without fear of condemnation.

My dour-faced friends on Facebook last night have forgotten Romans 8: 1-2 “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” I say this, not because I want them to feel condemned, too, but because I long for them to enjoy their freedom in Christ.

The souls on that football field, the souls in the stands, and the souls in a thousand sports bars and living rooms across the land are as valued by Christ as the souls in North Korean labor camps or Haitian tent cities or Guatemalan orphanages. The church is big enough and diverse enough to outreach them all if we each listen to God’s call on our lives.

So, enough clucking. Life is hard and moments where we gather should be treasured and enjoyed. Don’t allow the evil one to steal your joy. Of course, idolatry is wrong, in all its forms but idol worshipers don’t need condemnation, they already stand condemned. They need Jesus presented to them in truth and love.

Sometimes that happens over a game and a bowl of pretzels.

Jesus loves the #NewEnglandPatriots a love letter to the snarky church ladies on #Facebook last night http://t.co/Q42Vv4Us20 #SuperBowl2015

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) February 2, 2015

I would love to ask you to pray for my growing speaking ministry. I LOVE to encourage those who are enduring trials and am thrilled at the speaking opportunities on my horizon. Would you pray for this work and help spread the word? Click HERE to learn more!

Stop Praying – You’ll Never Get It Right

You should really stop praying.

He’s clearly not listening or if He is, He’s not answering. You’re boring Him as much as you’re boring yourself. If He hasn’t answered by now, He isn’t going to answer. Stop wasting your breath. Give up.

And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. Luke 18:1 (ESV)

He’s annoyed with your yammering on when you should know what to do already. He’s not going to answer because you should know the answer. Why do you keep bothering Him with petty things or problems you ought to be able to solve on your own?

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:5 (ESV)

It’s because your prayers are selfish, you know. Other people get their prayers answered because they’re better than you are. They pray with pure motives. Not you. He sees right through you. Stop praying until you’re a better Christian.

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32 (NKJV)

It’s because you’re overweight and out of shape. He’s embarrassed by your gluttony and laziness. He won’t answer your prayers because you’re indulging your sin. It’s because you spend so much time tending to your own appearance. Everyone sees how in shape you are and you love the attention. He can see through that. He knows you’re actually vain and full of sin. That’s why He won’t listen to your prayers.

Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Romans 8:33b-34 (NKJV)

It’s because of that wrong decision you made twenty years back to pursue a degree in business instead of ministry. You were only thinking of yourself. It’s because of that wrong decision you made twenty years back to enter ministry instead of business. You’ve always been a glory thief. If only you could go back . . .

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14 (ESV)

It’s because you had sex before marriage. Because your daughter divorced her husband. Because your son’s an addict. Because you had lustful thoughts about that woman. Because you took a year off from serving at church. Because you’re too busy in ministry, you’ve left no room for God. Because you’ve slacked off at work. Because you’re overworking. Because you’re an indulgent mother. Because you’re too hard on your kids. He’s not listening. You should really stop praying until you’ve cleaned up your act.

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:1 (NKJV)

Don’t you wonder why other people get miracles and not you? You’re lacking in faith. He has favorites and you’re not one of them. Those are just coincidences. Miracles don’t happen anymore. You need to be your own miracle. You’re always looking for the easy way out. Stop praying and start working toward what you want.

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24 (ESV)

You heard how that woman prayed. She’s articulate. She started with praise. She always starts with praise. Did you start with praise or did you jump right in asking for stuff? Didn’t you hear that guy pray? God always answers his prayers. He uses a formula. Don’t you remember he taught it once? You forgot part of it, didn’t you? You need that formula. Confession. Remember that sermon on confessing? Have you confessed everything? That’s not even possible, is it? Your sins are endless. You must have missed something. You should stop praying and take stock.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26 (ESV)

He’s not there. Your words aren’t getting past the sound of your own voice. Why are you fooling yourself when the evidence is clear that God does not exist? Or if He does, He doesn’t care about you.

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. Romans 1:20a (ESV)

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 (NKJV)

Stop praying. You’ll never get it right. Go read about prayer. Study more about prayer. Talk with someone about prayer. Listen to a podcast about prayer. Read a prayer blog. Start a prayer journal. Find a prayer partner. Plan a prayer retreat. Do anything except pray.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. I Thessalonians 5: 16b-18 (ESV)

I’ve heard the voice, the whisper, the serpent’s most toxic weapon, the lies. But I have access, as do you, to the weapon of choice of Jesus Christ, the weapon that stood Him good stead in the moment, the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God. 

And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. Luke 18:1 (ESV)

I’d love for you to meet my family and understand my heart for my readers so pop over to My Heart page and peek behind the blog.

Stop Praying – You’ll Never Get It Right! http://t.co/6l1PMRm02s #unansweredprayer #praytoJesus #howtopray #lies #Godsword

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) January 30, 2015

How to Disappoint God

I don’t want to fail God.

I think about that. Do you?

Perhaps my greatest fear in life is disappointing God. Which is crazy when you think about it because He knows the very worst things about me. Things I wouldn’t confess to you if you held a hot poker to my face. Things I barely admit to myself. Things He still hasn’t revealed to me. Things I lock away in hidden rooms of my soul where only He has broken the passcode so that He could prove to me that because of Jesus, there’s nothing that will stand between me and His love.

And yet, I fear letting Him down.

There’s an aspect of that fear I should drop. There’s another aspect I need to release in a way that propels me forward.

Allow me to explain.

The world withholds its applause from each of us until we accomplish a worthy performance. We live on stage and too often the boos and catcalls that mark our early efforts ring longer and louder than the ovations when we occasionally get it right. The world is stingy with accolades or reacts with awe at the wrong things. When we perform on the world’s stage, we serve a fickle crowd at best.

Grace, however, isn’t allotted on performance. God’s appraisal has already found us lacking. Still, He sacrificed His Son so that soul-achievement beyond our reach would no longer come into play in our final review.

To enter into relationship with Jesus is to go completely off grid, to exit stage left, to enter a n ew matrix where success and approval are based on a revolutionary standard, one the world can’t grasp even if it tried.

So, this performance anxiety is what I must drop. God cares less about the cheers of the crowd and more that I have faith to dismount the stage. He bids me come live my life and abandon the playing of roles. The only ovation that matters is His. I need to let my fear fall away the way the stagehand releases his grip on the rope so that the curtain falls on the mass approval I once treasured.

There is, though, another aspect of this fear of disappointing God that isn’t about performance b ut about trust.

People have attempted through the years to teach me to jump off a dock and learn to dive. Each one would place him or herself in the deep end of a pool or pond, a short distance away, and beckon me to release enough fear to propel myself into the air and into their waiting arms. I never succeeded in doing that. I clutched at the fear like an anchor that might save but really all it did was keep me secured to the dock. Safe, yes, but excluded from the adventure.

Freedom is found in releasing fear in a way that propels us into God’s waiting arms. I need to be more afraid of clinging to the dock than I am of leaping in faith toward the call of Christ, whatever that call may be. I need to be more afraid of not being in His arms than I am of whatever might happen when my feet leave the solid staging.

When God spoke to Gideon, Gideon was beating out wheat in the winepress, hiding from the enemy. He was hiding. Fearful of being discovered. Jumping at every sound. Eyes darting as he worked the wheat on which they relied.

And yet, the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon and greeted him with these words: “The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor.”

Gideon’s people were losing to their enemy. They weren’t victors, they were victimized. They weren’t the heralded, they were the hunted, the hiding, the harmed. In a tribe of oppressed peoples, Gideon’s family was among the least.

In that conversation with God, Gideon had to a) drop his fear of what everyone else thought of him (including what he thought of himself) and b) release the fear that kept him hiding in the winepress to let it propel him into God’s idea of Gideon. In God’s arms, Gideon was a mighty man of valor and He was with him.

Reading this, I realized the only way I will disappoint God is if I let fear keep my feet pinned to the dock, anchored to the world’s idea of me, the world’s measure of success, the world’s battery upon my soul.

I will find freedom, not in the place of sure footing, but in the air as I release my fear and let it propel me toward His idea of me, the idea He had when I was formed in His imagination. I can only realize that idea in His waiting arms.

I know what you’re thinking. Doesn’t this spell sure failure for someone who never learned to dive into a pool? How can someone like that hope to adventure with God? It’s all about the waiting arms, loved ones. He is perfect love and that perfect love will cast out all my fear. As I cast it off, it will propel me forward and I will learn, not only to dive, but also to fly.

“For, “Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay;  but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.” Hebrews 10:37-39

We are not of those who shrink back. Think on that, loved ones.

Greetings, Loved Ones, I hope you’ll prayerfully consider inviting me to speak at your next event or for your small group. Visit my Speaking Page. Choose from Thriving in Troubled Times, Why Dwarves Need Elves, or several other topics. I can’t wait to meet you in person!

How to Disappoint God http://t.co/cDiQ8GJ0bG #faith #trustinJesus #stagefright #Gideon #threshingfloor

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) January 28, 2015

Coram Deo – Seize the Snow Day

I know you can’t see me right now but as I write this, I’m standing on top of my desk.

From here, I’m re-enacting a scene from “Dead Poets Society” where English teacher John Keating encourages his students to stand atop their desks in order to gain a fresh perspective. That is what I need every day to live grace and light in a shadowy world.

When my view remains tethered to the earth, my soul senses the constant strain as it yearns for the heights it was designed to know. With the sword supplied by my armor in Christ, I sever the sandbags of limited perspective and see life from atop the desk in God’s classroom. Written there on the board in stardust chalk is the phrase, Coram Deo, for that is the lesson of the day – this day and each day I care to pay attention.

Coram Deo. To live coram Deo is to live one’s entire life in the presence of God, under the authority of God, to the glory of God.

Alice stepped through her looking glass and Lucy had her wardrobe but I have before me the open door of Heaven entered through the cross of Christ. Their doors are contained in stories but my door is the entrance to the original Story, the true Story, the only never-ending Story and the Author weaves in a plot line just for me.

In entering into relationship with Jesus, I entered this Story. While my feet continue to touch the gritty pavement of this world, my soul abides in the reality of that classroom so that every day I live with an awareness of His presence is a day I appropriate my eternal life now.

What are the choices I can make with my time now that I will celebrate having made on the day I fully enter eternity? Here are three:

One, I won’t regret a single breath spent on prayer. Not one.

Once I prayed for a girl trapped in a vicious cycle of bondage. The girl walked away from the prayer apparently unchanged. One year later, she testified that from the moment of that prayer, she was free to change. It took her time to inhabit that change but she realized her freedom in that moment in prayer.

How many other prayers that seem from behind this earthly veil to be impotent are actually at work in other’s lives? I imagine that my prayers are rooted in the fertile soil of eternity and when I arrive, I will see this tree with the roots of thanksgiving and the lush, leafy arms of praise, the sap of confession flowing freely through its trunk, and hanging like ripe pomegranates from each branch will be the fruit of my intercessions.

Two, I won’t regret I single moment I told the truth.

Not one. Not even when that truth was ignored or rejected. Not even when it was greeted by mocking or derision. Not even if it results in my harm.

From space, satellites capture the lights human populations emit on earth. From the heavens, angels track the light produced each time one of us testifies to truth. When a believer is scraped against this flinty world, the spark of truth produced can set a blaze that is a witness for Christ to all the heavenly host.

 

And three, I won’t regret even the feeblest attempts I’ve made to love as I am loved by God.

I’m bad at it. It’s a clumsy thing, my loving others. The victims of my attempts at love don’t always appreciate the effort but even the raw scribbles of the child Da Vinci, were they discovered today, would be treasured because we would see them as the early works of a master. When I see God face-to-face, I’ll notice that taped to His refrigerator are my first attempts to love as I was loved.

Today I invite you to rise up from your place on this earth and join me on the desk in God’s classroom. Can you, too, see eternity from here? What choices you make with your now will you be glad you made on the day we see Him face to face?

Coram Deo – Seize the Snow Day http://t.co/s9cuSTpNez #Jesuslife #blizzardof2015 #WinterStormJuno #livingfaith

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) January 26, 2015

Why Women Should NOT Rule the World

The gentleman across from me is highly evolved as a human, or so he explains to me.

He tries to make that apparent by sporting a ponytail and wearing a sweater vest. When I speak, he is intensely interested in what I have to say. He emphasizes this with laser pointer eye contact and frequent, thoughtful nods. I’m brilliant when I’m speaking with this man.

Then he opens his mouth. “I imagine you’re not accustomed to men of my generation really listening to you and appreciating your opinion as a woman.”

I try to protest but he’s not listening.

“I have such deep admiration for women that most of my closest friends are women. I truly believe that all of humanity would be better served if we handed over the reins of leadership in all areas of life to women.”

He pauses here so I can express my undying gratitude for his validation of my gender. That is not what I do.

“Tell me more about why you believe women should become the leaders of the world to the exclusion of all men.”

He’s taken aback at my question. Like I’m asking him to explain why children prefer candy to broccoli or why the ground is wet after a good rain. “Why, women, by nature, are smarter, wiser and gentler then men. They are nurturers, lifegivers and lovers. Men are cutthroat, impulsive, mean-spirited, war-mongering and territorial. Women have no such inclinations!”

“Ha!” I exclaimed to his shock. “You, sir, have never been inside a Jr. High girls’ locker room!”

Our conversation ended right after that. Ponytail sweater-vest man walked away, deflated but nothing I’m sure that couldn’t be corrected by a cup of herbal tea and a chat with his circle of wise, earth-mother, world-dominating women friends. He will tell them about me and soon they’ll all be sending positive corrective thoughts my way and having themselves a quiet chuckle because I’m not as evolved as they are.

Seriously.

I’m going on record here to say that I like men. Some of my best friends are men. I also like women and have a wide circle of female friends. It’s popular to espouse the virtues of women over men these days but really, I’ve inhabited the planet for fifty-three years now and I’ve seen trouble-makers wearing dresses and trouble-makers wearing pants. Some of them were even men.

I saw a teacher leading a group of first graders on a field trip. This earth-mother instructor proudly sported a button on her coat that stated “Girls Rule, Boys Drool.” I had to stop her and ask if she didn’t feel that sent the wrong message to the little boys in her charge.

“First off,” she explained with no small amount of arrogance, “most of the boys in the group can’t read yet (as if it was their fault) and second off, it’s an important message for them to get early on in life. They’ve been dominating and oppressing for way too long.”

I glanced sadly at the tiny world dominators she was trying to keep in place. Maybe there was a Stalin among them but if there was, he was about twenty years away from a good mustache, never mind being an oppressor of the confident Amazonian girls in his class.

Here’s my point. This woman as demigod thing has gotten waaaaaayyy out of hand and it may be up to us women to call it to a screeching halt. I can read history – I’ve lived a great deal of it myself – and there’s no place for men to look down on, abuse, oppress or denigrate women. Period. But because that’s right and fair, not because women are better than they are!

It’s not putting my gender down to state women are no better than men – it’s simply stating a Biblical truth. God is very even-handed in scripture when He labels us ALL sinners.

Eve took the first bite of fruit but unless I missed that part where she wrestled Adam to the ground and force-fed him, he was munching right along with her within moments. We all inherited the same sin nature, an equal capacity for evil, an equal condemnation apart from Jesus Christ, an equal penchant for distortion and dysfunction of what we were designed to be.

Brace yourself. This means that women have the capacity for evil and they know how to use it.

I’ve heard countless women quote this verse from Paul’s letter to the Galatians, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal. 3:28) but I’ve NEVER heard one of them use it to defend a man. Never.

I’m grateful God designed me as a female and I’ve had more than my share of run-ins with the opposite sex but when I look in the mirrors, I see a sinner saved by grace

– one who wears mascara – but a sinner still, fortunate enough to be invited to join the family of God – a family that includes brothers I’ve grown to love.

I don’t think women should rule the world. I think God should do it using women AND men who know Him and understand His ways.

What do you say, sister’s in Christ. How about you brothers? Any thoughts? Speak the truth in love . . .

Seeking companionship on the narrow road? This is where you belong!

Why Women Should NOT Rule the World! http://t.co/CJkVBqDcQS #genderandJesus #womenvsmen #equalrights

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) January 24, 2015

My Friend Put Ice Cream in Her Toaster

Friend:  I’m really struggling, lately, over my toaster. It keeps breaking down.

Me:        Is that ice cream inside the toaster?

Friend: Yeah, why? I like to put ice cream in my toaster.

Me:        Well, that’s why it keeps breaking down. It wasn’t designed for ice cream.

Friend:  It feels like you’re judging me.

Me:        I’m sorry. I just think that if you stop putting ice cream in your toaster it will stop breaking down.

Friend: Well, now I feel bad. You’re making me feel bad about myself.

Me:        You’ll probably feel better if you stop putting ice cream in your toaster.

Friend:  Hey, it’s MY toaster. I have a right to do anything I want with it. Are you saying I don’t?

Me:        I don’t think so. But, it’s not about your rights. It’s about the design of the toaster.

Friend: Now you’re an expert on toaster design? How do you know it’s bad to put ice cream in a toaster?

Me:        I’m not an expert but you said it does keep breaking down.

Friend:  You can’t be 100% sure it’s the ice cream. Doesn’t your toaster ever break down?

Me:        Well, sometimes it does but then I check the instructions or get it repaired.

Friend:  So, you think you’re superior to me because mine keeps breaking down?

Me:        That’s not what I’m saying at all!

Friend:  What do you do with your toaster?

Me:        I use it to make toast.

Friend: That sounds very old-fashioned and restrictive. I guess some people don’t have a need to be creative or free but that’s not me. I like to color                outside the box.

Me:        How is that not you judging me?

Friend:  Because I’m not judgmental and I’m just defending myself against your oppression.

Me:        I’m oppressing you by suggesting your toaster will function better if you don’t put ice cream in it?

Friend:  That’s right. My father said the same thing. He even thumped the instruction booklet on the counter thinking that would change my mind.

Me:        Let me look at the instruction booklet. Ah, right here, it says not to let the toaster come in contact with liquids.

Friend:  Does it specify ice cream? Does it specifically prohibit the use of ice cream?

Me:       Well, no, but the ice cream seems pretty liquid right now.

Friend:  This feels like legalism to me.

Me:        It’s not legalism. It’s just about respecting the design of your toaster.

Friend: Wow. I never would have expected this from you. I don’t think we can be friends anymore. I need friends who respect my freedom and my rights.

Me:        What if we just stop discussing the toaster and agree to disagree?

Friend:  No, unless you support me in putting ice cream in my toaster, I don’t feel safe around you.

Me:        Okay, well, I certainly want you to be safe but, you have to know, it isn’t safe to put ice cream in a toaster.

Friend:  You really have to leave now.

I’ve had this conversation more than once lately about a wider range of appliances than just toasters. How about you?

We’re becoming a society of horses and mules. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.” Psalm 32:8-9

Freedom without responsibility or respect for our design is lunacy and, ultimately, no freedom. Judging others is wrong and none of us needs that. But all of us, at one time or another, needs correction, instruction, and counsel.

Are you free to put ice cream in your toaster? Sure, knock yourself out. But it’s no good for your toaster and in the end, you’ll be without toast or ice cream. Rest in this, just as people are free to put ice cream in their toasters, likewise, you’re free to use yours for toast.

My Friend Put Ice Cream in Her Toaster http://t.co/0xKXdMgCQc the conversation I have every day #Jesus #Bible #Christians #judgment #faith

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) January 22, 2015

Using my new book with your small group or Bible study? Be sure to check out my Hints and Helps for Small Group Leaders

Find out what people are saying about Running from a Crazy Man (and other adventures traveling with Jesus).

Playing the Slots at Casino Church

Miracles are cool. Undeniable crowd-pleasers.

I’ve witnessed miracles, received miracles, and prayed for miracles. I believe in them and look forward to more.

In the church, we love a good miracle story – something church insiders call testimonies. Bona-fide healing, unexpected checks for exactly the lacking amount, and rescues from rivers or wrecks by first responders no one can find after the event are potatoes and gravy on the Sunday morning circuit.

Recently, though, I was in a discussion with a writer trying to spread her story. It’s a true tale of obedience that resulted in miracles. “Do I lead,” she asked, “with the obedience or the miracles?”

Great question.

Seems like the most spiritual answer to say that obedience is the headliner, right? But, we know our fellow humans. Who’s likely to show up for a talk on obedience? Better to lead with the miracles, sure to draw a crowd, then, slip them the real message like slivers of carrot hidden inside a tasty cake.

Tough call. I won’t tell you where the group of writers came down on this. I’d like you to weigh in.

Me? I waver.

The message of Christ is obedience. In John 14 He says, “If you love me, you’ll keep my commandments.” Simple, straight up, Jesus. Love results in obedience.

Still, God didn’t shy away from miracles. He’s downright liberal with the spectacular in the gospels and beyond. Right out of the gate, He opens  with a pregnant virgin, angelic visitations, dreams, and water turned into fine wine. He designed us so He knows what gets our attention.

One comment during the discussion with the writer left me thinking, though. Someone said that her tagline should be “Obedience results in miracles.” I do believe that it does and it did in her case but I don’t believe it always does.

The gospel records, in John 6, a discussion Jesus had with the crowds after He’d performed the miracle of the loaves and fishes. They’ve followed Him and He chides them for following Him just for the bread. He then points them to the bread they should seek – Himself, the Bread of Life.

When we’re children, we sometimes have to have our vegetables disguised and hidden inside cake but as we grow, we learn the value of developing an appetite for unadorned carrots. There are times when miracles are in order – in all of our lives – but our appetite should be for Jesus and expressing our love for Him through obedience. This healthy appetite will get us through the times when obedience does not, in fact, result in a miracle.

Those times will come.

Daniel’s three friends who were thrown into the fiery furnace saw and proclaimed this truth, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3

But even if he does not . . . these are the words to tattoo on the forearm of your soul. Obedience is not the quarter we slip into God’s slot machine hoping for a payoff in golden miracles. Obedience is the outward expression of our love for Jesus. Every time we obey, we say – “Yes, you are worthy. Yes, Jesus, you are what I seek more than health, more than money, more than a spectacular testimony. My appetite is not for miracles. I hunger for You.”

Why is this important to understand? Because when our obedience does not result in a miracle, Satan will slither up beside us whispering lies. Your obedience was worthless. He didn’t even notice. It wasn’t enough. You aren’t good enough. He isn’t a good God. He’s unfair. He’s withholding something from you. You should get it yourself.

We need to be equipped then. Prepared. Access the understanding that comes from God’s word. Obedience is not the coin of God’s realm. We are not in a casino church. God may send a miracle BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT we will not serve any other god.

God supplies miracles when miracles are called for but obedience is our way of showing our love to Christ. People who obey often witness miracles but that’s because people who obey are more likely to be where God is at work.

So, how do you think my friend should spread her story? Should she lead with obedience or miracles?

What headlines in your life? How have you responded when your obedience has NOT resulted in a miracle. Let me hear THOSE testimonies, loved ones.

Playing the Slots at Casino Church http://t.co/cplz3l0dT7 #needamiracle #unansweredprayer #Jesus #Miracle

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) January 19, 2015