Lori Stanley Roeleveld's Blog, page 3

Some Dreams Must Die

There are drugs we take that heal us and other drugs that destroy us.

Not every drug is for our benefit. Go ask, Alice. She’ll testify.

Knowing this, we understand the need for discernment and caution when drugs are offered, even from those who have our best interest at heart.

The same can be said for dreams.

We live in a dreamy culture.

On any given night (or TED talk, or awards show), we can listen to someone encourage us, urge us, compel us to hold onto our dreams come what may. Pursue your dreams at all cost, they’ll preach into their headsets. If your children have dreams, nurture them and do all you can to make them come true.

Even Christian teachers will tell you we live in the days of dreams. They will quote Joel 2:28-29 that prophesied of these times when the Spirit is poured out that our sons and daughters shall see visions, our old men dream dreams, and even our young men see visions. The Spirit is poured out on men and women alike.

And yes, we live in the time of Holy Spirit filling and so we understand the language of dreams – like Abraham, Jacob, and Joseph – we know God speaks to those who have ears to ear – even when they sleep.

The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of his dream, one that was grounded in God’s Word, and sprung from a firm biblical foundation of racial reconciliation and freedom consistent with the work and ministry of Jesus Christ. This dream had substance and was organic to a life spent pursuing God.

Not every dream has its origin in the Spirit of Jesus Christ.

When Moses stood before Pharaoh with the staff God could transform into a serpent, Pharaoh’s wise men performed the same act with their secret arts. Moses’ serpent devoured theirs, but for a moment, the deception worked.

So it is, in our times, with dreams and dreamers. There are still secret arts at work in our midst and they fill men’s and women’s heads with deceptive dreams, selfish dreams, obsessive dreams, and dreams bent on destruction.

The words of God spoken to Jeremiah, speak a powerful message to us today, one I cannot say any better:

“Am I a God at hand, declares the Lord, and not a God far away? Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the Lord.

I have heard what the prophets have said who prophesy lies in my name, saying, ‘I have dreamed, I have dreamed!’ How long shall there be lies in the heart of the prophets who prophesy lies, and who prophesy the deceit of their own heart, who think to make my people forget my name by their dreams that they tell one another, even as their fathers forgot my name for Baal?

Let the prophet who has a dream tell the dream, but let him who has my word speak my word faithfully. What has straw in common with wheat? declares the Lord.

Is not my word like fire, declares the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?

Therefore, behold, I am against the prophets, declares the Lord, who steal my words from one another. Behold, I am against the prophets, declares the Lord, who use their tongues and declare, ‘declares the Lord.’ Behold, I am against those who prophesy lying dreams, declares the Lord, and who tell them and lead my people astray by their lies and their recklessness, when I did not send them or charge them. So they do not profit this people at all, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 23:23-32

Dreams grounded on God’s Word, inspired by the Holy Spirit, and yielded to Jesus Christ are worth the sweat, blood, and toil it takes to realize them in our times.

Other dreams, though, should die. Dreams of suspect origin should yield to this present reality which is the Kingdom Come.

And we, the followers of Jesus, should have the knowledge of God’s Word, the indwelling of the Spirit, and the courage of our Lord to speak truth to deceptive dreamers and to dreamers deceived.

Paul charged the church with these words in Ephesians 5:6-17:

“Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,

‘Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”

When you hear talk of dreams, don’t be drawn in by beautiful stories, mesmerizing words, or persuasive eloquent motivators without testing the content of their dreams against the greater reality of God’s eternal Word.

There is a reality more powerful than the most compelling dream. Paul told the Corinthians, “But, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him’” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Abandon all dreams of suspect origin.

Instead, pursue the heart of Him from whom all life originated and your reality will become a greater adventure than you could ever dream.

Thoughts? I respond to every comment and reply to every email!

Have you gotten YOUR copy of my latest book, Graceful Influence? Here’s the first line: “We owe Martha an apology.” Find out why and discover what there is to learn about God from His interactions with over 120 women of the Bible. Discover YOUR graceful influence and live with greater confidence in God’s work through you in our times.

Do you have a dream? https://t.co/s2ZM2ScX8y Some dreams must die. #dreams #Jesus

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) May 10, 2024

How to Be Fireproof when the World is Burning (and Your Mom Burns Your Blankie)

It’s not usually the big things that knock you on your keister, is it?

You brace for the big stuff. You hunker down or grab hold when a major turbulence appears on your radar. It’s not always pretty, but you lock down and you survive.

Or, at least, you think you have.

Working with families facing hardship over twenty plus years, I’ve encountered some terrible stories of abuse and neglect. In this field, you prepare for those. You steel yourself.

You find a place to put those types of horror stories and you move on, because you’re one of those helpers Mr. Rogers mentions that kids should try to spot in a crisis. It’s easier to spot you if you’re standing up, not huddled in a corner crying.

One little boy, though, bobs in the dark ocean of my memories and resurfaces at odd times. It’s been many, many years. He’s grown by now, but in my mind, he’ll always be a little boy. One little boy and his blankie.

He was a bubbly toddler in a troubled home. I’ll spare you the details. Over multiple weeks of visits, I loved that when I arrived, he’d climb beside me onto the couch with his blanket.

This blanket had a “sweet spot.” One corner that he loved to rub between his thumb and his index finger. After several visits, he decided I needed a sweet spot of my own. He dubbed me “my safety lady,” because whenever I arrived, the adults and I would discuss what was safe and what wasn’t.

So, little guy designated another corner just for me. There we’d sit as I discussed scary grown up things with the adults in his world, him rubbing one corner and me rubbing mine.

I didn’t realize how that tiny square of flannel was keeping me calm, too. Until the day, it was gone.

The family called me for an emergency meeting. Life was unraveling. The adults weren’t holding things together. I arrived before the other helping grown-ups, and little guy climbed up beside me on the couch, but he didn’t sit.

Instead, kneeling, he cupped his hands over my ear and whispered, “No one’s being safe, safety lady. Help me.”

I asked him to get his blankie while I talked with the grownups. He shook his head letting huge tears fell down his chubby cheeks.

He pointed at one grownup. “She cut it to pieces.”

I looked at the offending adult who crossed her arms and stared at little guy in defiance. “That’s right, go ahead and tell her. I cut his stupid blanket into little pieces and made him watch while I burned it.”

Why this horrified beyond the multitude of other horrific details that emerged that day is beyond me, but it did. “Why would you do that? He’s just a little guy, and it was just a blankie.”

“He’s old enough to learn not to be a baby and cry just because people are fighting. He’s old enough to learn that rubbing a stupid blanket doesn’t make people stick around and love you. He’s old enough to learn not to hold onto anything because at some point someone rips it away and you’re left with nothing. I did him a favor burning that stupid thing. I taught him a life lesson, that’s what I did.”

As worse details of life for this little guy emerged, more helpers arrived and he was, indeed, whisked away to safety. As I called to report in to my boss, I managed to state the numerous terrible details, but when she asked, “Is there anything else?”, I lost my voice.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I sniffled into my cell phone, feeling like a fool as I sat in my car on a sunny day with tears flowing. “They cut up his stupid blankie. I mean, he’s safe now, but seriously, they cut up a little kid’s blankie and made him watch the pieces burn.”

God designed us with opposable thumbs, because He knew we’d need to hold on to things sometimes. It’s not wrong to need something to hold onto. It’s part of being human. God rejects our sin, not our humanity.

It’s important what we choose to hold.

Some hold fast to the easy comfort of food, alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs. Others find their sweet spot on the almighty dollar and the trappings of wealth. Some hold onto any human they can find on any given night, to weigh them down in life’s storm. Others hold onto illusions and lies like parched souls crawling toward a mirage in the desert.

A few will hold onto Truth. And yes, it does exist in the person of Jesus.

A few will discover the sweet spot of life when they lay hold of a splintery wooden cross or when they behold a folded empty grave cloth in an abandoned tomb.

Their thumbs and forefingers turn the pages of a book or slide the screens of a tablet holding ancient, eternal truth that will withstand any battle. No sword can slice it up. No fire can consume it. No tears will dissolve it. And if it comes under assault, it will not fail.

He is our safety. We have a Helper we can call. We have something, someone, we can hold onto, and He will remain steadfast and true.

We are bombarded, in these times, with all manner of warfare, deceptive arguments, and pressure to abandon the truth. Be aware that it’s not always the big assault that knocks you on your keister. It’s often just the unkind remark, the casual cruelty, or the betraying kiss that sends you sprawling over the enemy’s trip wire.

As you fall, he tries to wrest Truth from your hands, but it’s impervious to His weapons. Even when we lose our grip, Jesus never loses His on us. No one will ever snatch us from His hands.

So, hold on, loved ones. He’s coming. Spend more time in the Truth than you spend reading or hearing the lies. Remind yourself and others of the truth you know. Live truth in ways great and small.

Hold on. Hold on to the truth and speak it, because little empty-handed boys grow into hurting men, searching for something true they can hold. It is good if they find they can hold onto Jesus and He will hold onto them.

We know the only truth no one will ever burn.

Remember when the world is on fire–we are fireproof.

LOVE hearing from you! I respond to every comment and reply to every email!

 

How to be Fireproof when the World is Burning https://t.co/Uy2IXUqpdS #fireproof #JesusChrist

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) April 25, 2024

Facing the Test

How do you feel about tests?

Most of us dread them.

To be honest, I didn’t get too worked up about tests in my elementary and high school years. I learn easily and love to study. I’m that student who started her final project the day the teacher handed out the syllabus. Yeah, I annoyed other students.

But, I was prepared for tests.

College tests were a bit more stressful until I got the hang of college-level work. Still, there are tests I have feared–until recently, that is. Tests from the Lord.

Whenever I read the story of Abraham and the sacrifice of Isaac, I get anxious that one day God will confront me with such an impossible test. Genesis 22 opens with these words “After these things God tested Abraham.” For most of my life, I found that the most ominous lead-in to any story ever told.

I worried about these tests from God. When would they occur? What material would they cover? What would be the impact on my life or others if I failed? I certainly don’t see myself capable of laying down my Isaac. What if I face that test?

Then, I read a book on Genesis called Be Obedient by Warren Wiersbe. I appreciate his perspective. He reminds me to remember who God is and trust that He isn’t frivolous or unkind in His testing. God doesn’t test us because He wants to see how we’ll do. He already knows. He generally tests us so we’ll see how we’ll do.

That made sense to me. No third grade teacher suddenly tests her students on calculus. She knows they don’t have a chance and she wants them to succeed. She tests them on material they can be reasonably expected to know. That’s how God is about tests. He is the Master Teacher, He knows exactly when and how to administer a test and He’s able to make us stand through it.

With God, we’re all on individualized learning plans so while Abraham faced a tough test of faith, God didn’t ask Lot to sacrifice a daughter. We can observe Lot and assume he wasn’t likely up to a test of faith of that magnitude.

In school, most teachers give pop quizzes to remind students they need to be studying as they go or to nudge the slackers back to work. I can see in my life times when God sent a pop quiz to wake me up from my nap in the poppies and return to walking the narrow road.

I suppose, in our natural minds, we could deduce that if we don’t want to face tests, we should remain immature in our faith. Boy, is that backward thinking. When I was working toward my black belt in karate, I had no desire to endure tests but neither did I want to remain a white belt all my life. I wanted to learn because I was eager to master the skills and be able to defend myself and others.

In fact, in karate, we had to qualify for tests. We had to prove we’d been working hard enough and practicing enough material that we could be allowed the privilege of being tested.

That’s because we saw the point of all that training. We expected to be students of martial arts for life but we also desired to be good students, always applying everything we learned and growing in mastery.

Do we desire to grow in mastery of our faith? Yes, Jesus freed us from our sins but He also freed us for a purpose, to know God, to enjoy Him, and to become like Him in every way.

The testing of our faith produces perseverance. Ask James. “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 ESV

With God, I have no need to fear. John wrote, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18 ESV

God’s got us and He won’t let us go. He sends just the right test at exactly the right time. The more we know Him and trust Him, the more at peace we will be as we endure the test.

The life of faith includes testing and discipline or training. “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11. ESV

Abraham endured much testing but he also, by faith, enjoyed friendship with God. “and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness’—and he was called a friend of God.” James 2:23 ESV

I can certainly trust God and if God is my friend, I trust Him even more. How about you? Have you ever feared the testing of your faith? How does it help to consider the One who administers tests?

I respond to every comment and reply to every email! Let me know your thoughts!

 

 

Watering Camels and Surviving the Middle of Anything

Are you in the middle of something?

A major project?

A pregnancy?

Writing a book? Building a house? A marriage? A life?

The middle is the test.

Anyone can begin. Anyone can start something with optimism, enthusiasm, and great vision. Whatever we start, most of us begin with hope, confidence, faith, maybe some trepidation, but we start well.

We don’t all end well.

Shakespeare had quite a point. He used the old proverb, “All’s well that end’s well” and made it quite famous. I understand why, as a writer, he appreciated the quote.

Solomon shared a similar proverb in Ecclesiastes: “Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.” (Ecclesiastes 7:8 ESV)

In other words, many set out on a path but those who reach the end, ahhh, that is the true triumph.

I’ve been reading Genesis. Abraham and Sarah started out with some faith in this living God who called them to leave and follow Him. They had several misadventures along the way often characterized by a lapse in faith but they grew. They grew old, they grew up, they grew to trust the God who always sees, the God who hears, the God who provides. And He rewarded them.

After Sarah died, her son, Isaac married Rebekah. Her beginning was promising. Rebekah was not afraid of hard work as she offered to bring water to Abraham’s emissary and then proceeded to provide water for all his camels! The Bible mentions that she was beautiful and when the deal is struck for her to return with the servant to be Isaac’s bride, she agreed to leave her home, everything she knew and loved, to make the journey back immediately.

This is a promising beginning. 

Rebekah, like Sarah, was barren but Isaac prayed for her and twenty years after they were wed, she conceived twins who fought within her womb. She asked God what was happening and He explained that she carried within her two nations and that the older would serve the younger.

Like her mother-in-law with Hagar, Rebekah must have felt God needed her help to achieve what He had promised so she conspired with her favorite son, Jacob, to deceive her husband and trick him into giving Jacob the blessing due to Esau who was firstborn. When Esau discovered the deception and his loss, he was so angry that Rebekah sent Jacob far away to her brother, Laban, so he would be safe.

We don’t hear much about Rebekah’s later life. She was made miserable by Esau’s Canaanite wives (another reason for sending Jacob to Haran to find a bride just as Abraham had sent his servant) and it was a sad day when the nurse who left Haran and traveled with her died. She was buried with Isaac near Abraham and Sarah.

While her beginning was full of promise, in Rebekah’s mid-life, it appeared her faith faltered and her days had a good amount of suffering and separation due to her machinations. 

We all can find ourselves faltering in the middle.

The middle is often marked by long stretches of silence from heaven. We remember the earlier call but God doesn’t repeat it as often as we’d like to hear it–testing faith, asking us to trust and to remember His nature which is faithful, true, and always fulfilling of His promises.

We often begin in good company but people fall away and we find ourselves on a solo journey for long stretches.

We can get a little lost. Why did we even start this church? Are we sure we were supposed to take on this ministry? Did we hear Him right that we were to journey to this place? If we were right, wouldn’t it be easier? more productive? Wouldn’t we be experiencing peace and success?

Look again at Abraham and Sarah. They began by following the Living God. Their faith grew as they followed–not without setbacks–but it grew as they came to know Him and to see Him provide.

Are you in the middle? What do you know of God? What have you experienced of Him since you began? What has He revealed of who He is since your enthusiastic start?

Has your ministry lost that “new car smell?” Are you on top of your project or is sitting atop your chest making it a little hard to breathe? Are you so far from the beginning it’s hard to remember the calling but so far from the end you’re starting to gaze longingly at every off ramp?

Remember Abraham and Sarah. They journeyed imperfectly with the Living God but their faith grew and they followed Him to the end. Rebekah began well but the middle created a muddle that revealed her eyes were on one she loved, perhaps more than the Living God. Even though she was the mother of the child, Jacob, who represented that God’s purposes stand not by our doings but by faith in Him (Romans 9:10-11).

Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” (ESV)

Abraham and Sarah followed through to the promised reward and beyond. And by them, we are all blessed.

Are you in the middle? Press into Him and press on.

Thoughts? I respond to every comment and reply to every email!

Have you received your copy of Graceful Influence: Making a Lasting Impact through Lessons from Women of the Bible yet? Thank you to all of you who have been so kind as to leave a short, honest review on Amazon. It really helps them to elevate the exposure of this book and its message! I’ve received some generous endorsements from women of faith you may know. Here are three! Also, if you’d like to join the Zoom book club discussing Graceful Influence, be sure to follow the Graceful Influence Book Club on Facebook!

Surviving the middle of anything. https://t.co/w0IIcLTZFV #gracefulinfluence #faith

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) March 12, 2024

“Gotcha” Culture and That Sick Feeling in My Soul

My blog writing has gone wonky.

Not funny wonky like the wonky donkey but like John Bunyan’s pilgrim up to his knees in a mucky bog wonky.

I love words and the light they can be in this darkness but we’re living through some inky black times. Sometimes the darkness swallows my word before before they even form. 

With a book releasing, I’m on line more than I like to be. This isn’t good for my soul. As I read, prickly burrs attach to my spirit. My hands weigh heavy on the keyboard. My spiritual eyes milk over, and rather than write, I retire to my room away from all the screens and just  lean my head against God’s chest listening to His heart beat through His Word.

Too much time looking through the window of the Internet chokes my creativity and hijacks my humor.

What’s paralyzing me lately is “gotcha” culture.

It’s not the greatest concern, for sure, but more like the proverbial straw breaking the camel’s spine of my writing spirit. I’m first weighed down by wars, politics, church division, rampant defiance of God, and the end of civilization as we know it but I don’t want to keep you here all day.

Probably the senseless deaths of children, the threat of nuclear invasions from space, the racism, antisemitism, and rise of hatred for Christians has made me overly sensitive but the thrill many Christians apparently feel at finding fault with brothers and sisters on line–pointing out with great pomp and elaborate detail that a song or meme or comment or source or quote or thought is errant or to the left of right or too strident or too soft or too dogmatic or not adhering closely enough to the truth or not being sensitive enough to culture well, this is just putting me over the edge.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe in standing up for truth but Paul (who understood all too well the dangers of self-righteousness) wrote, “Brothers and sisters, even if a person is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual are to restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you are not tempted as well.” (Galatians 6:1)

Gentleness is not what I’m witnessing. Gentleness and humility don’t appear to rule the day. Instead what we too often witness is unkindness, cruelty, unproductive, Pharisaical, unbiblical “gotcha” culture.

Look, this is a problem for me because it’s a 24/7 effort involving full-on Holy Spirit intervention and the open-throttle engagement of my own denial of self to hold a pillow over the face of my own inner Pharisee.

I mean, I’ve repented of feeling superior to others but a little time on the internet is like tossing slabs of raw meat at the lion of self-righteousness I’m trying to starve. There are brothers and sisters out there setting truly low bars. Especially when the truth is that I am not better than anyone else and can easily be dragged along by the current of “gotcha” culture. 

God does not call us to troll other Christians. If what a brother or sister has shared is contrary to God’s Word, be gentle and kind in instruction.

I need Jesus. I have no righteousness of my own. I am easily tempted to love the world, to compromise truth, to be too strident when I do share it, or to yield to my old nature. You don’t want to know me without Jesus and with the drag of deception and the pull of popularity powerful currents in our culture, I know my only hope is Him.

So, let me tell you about my God.

He sees what is wrong with us better than any of us ever do. And yet, He walked among us humbly, gently, bravely daring to speak the truth to our faces–not typing it from the other side of a screen.

When sinners came to Him acknowledging their need for salvation, He welcomed them, ate with them, and told them stories about the kingdom of God. When they got things wrong or were slow to understand, He corrected them, restored them, and taught them again. He continually invited them into His greater story.

When the self-righteous resisted Him He was pointed, direct, and articulate in describing their sins. He told them stories of coming judgement and called them to abandon their own righteousness for one that was greater, one that was eternal, one that they couldn’t earn but only receive from Him. He was most forceful with the self-righteous and those seeking salvation from idols, from worldly means, and from self.

But to those who followed Him, He was persistently patient, gentle, instructive, and kind. The only “gotcha” Jesus displayed was “I gotcha covered with my own body and blood.” 

I pull away again and again from the relentless ocean of headlines and memes, of Facebook debates and mean tweets, not because I’m above it all but because it calls to the parts of me that are still in the process of becoming like Jesus. It’s too easy to try to be like Jesus in my own efforts and so one moment I’m too harsh with a sister in Christ and in another moment I’m too compromising for fear of upsetting a self-righteous God-denier.

Jesus calls me to be gentle with my sister and to fear Him, no one else but I need hours with Him, not social media, in order to be like Him.

Yes, God’s children, the church, need to be called out when we sin and confronted when we fall short of representing Jesus. It’s tempting to try to do this wholesale through social media and other venues on the Internet but so much more effective person-to-person, face-to-face in the context of a loving relationship with opportunity for long discussion, clarification, and affirmation.

The local church and our deep friendships with other Christians are the iron that sharpens our iron. It’s slow, small-scale, frustrating, sloppy, inefficient, inglorious, and face-to-face effective for being like Jesus and keeping us from becoming Internet trolls.

Choose slow growth and church family relationships over the swift satisfaction of being right and self-righteous online. We need to build one another up because we have an enemy trying to tear us down and his time for destruction is near.

I respond to every comment and reply to every email so go for it. What do we have to discuss? How are YOU feeling?

As a gift to you, please accept this sample of my new book releasing on March 5th, Graceful Influence: Making a Lasting Impact through Lessons from Women of the Bible

Gotch Culture and Christian trolls on line https://t.co/gnut78V1CZ #TROLLS #amwriting

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) February 23, 2024

In Praise of Difficult Women (Surrendered to God)

Hi, my name is Lori and difficult women make me uncomfortable. 

Whew! It feels good to get that off my chest.

Honestly, though, I have many difficult women in my life, many by choice (others, not so much). Some of these difficult women need clear boundaries and I regret it when those boundaries are relaxed or breached.

Other difficult women, I cherish and seek out because I admire them, aspire to be like them, and grow because of them.

What makes the difference?

Difficult women surrendered to God light up the world like searchlights, spotlights, lasers, and high beams. Difficult women in contention with or in denial of God just blow stuff up.

Explosions are happening everywhere in media these days.

Talk shows, podcasts, and headlines are full of difficult women. Rabble-rousing, fear-mongering, criticizing, opinion-blaring, gong-sounding, pandering women. Many, who on the surface, just appear to love the sound of their own voice and revel in being outrageous for the shock factor–forever chasing the soundbite, the click, the poll number, the approval rating, the consumer, the follower, the fan. Addicted to the opiate that is the masses.

They love to make others uncomfortable but often simply for their own gain and they never see turnabout as fair play.

How often they promote themselves as mavericks and rebels only to become carbon copies of every other women on the talk circuit spouting the new party line–mainlining brash, unapologetic, tone-deaf monologues, the fentanyl of modern womanhood, and shouting down dissenters, rarely engaging in authentic public dialog with those who disagree.

It’s a constant battle within my soul to both love them and to not become just like them.

There are, however, also heroic difficult women, women surrendered to God raising a ruckus out of love and faithfulness. Disturbers of the false peace. Unpleasant topic-raising, sacred cow-shattering, status-quo ignoring women who speak the truth they’ve wrestled to accept and do it in love that doesn’t come naturally but supernaturally by faith in the One who IS love.

In the Bible, a few of their names were Deborah, who when the military commander Barak refused to go to battle unless she came with him eschewed any flattery and instead pronounced, ““Very well,” she replied, “I will go with you. But you will receive no honor in this venture, for the Lord’s victory over Sisera will be at the hands of a woman.” So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh.” Judges 4:9,

or Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah, the daughters of Zelophehad who presented their request to Moses that their father’s inheritance go to them and not to a male relative. God not only granted their request, He told Noah to change the law to allow daughters to inherit going forward,

or Abigail who suffered her fool husband until his rash decision put their entire household at risk of death. She acted quickly and met David who was on his way to exact revenge. She influenced him with provisions, words, beauty, and grace to reconsider his plan and prophesied, “The Lord will surely reward you with a lasting dynasty, for you are fighting the Lord’s battles. And you have not done wrong throughout your entire life.” 1 Samuel 25:28 ESV

or the midwives, Shiphrah and Puah who defied Pharaoh’s order to kill the Hebrew children at birth, trusting that God saw them and knowing His power was greater than Pharaoh’s, they acted to protect lives,

or Bathsheba who refused to let the aging king David forget that he had promised her son, Solomon, would accede to the throne at his death,

or Rizpah, whose public lament for the son her king sacrificed reminded him of the value of life,

or the Samaritan woman at the well who wore the judgement of others like an old, familiar scar but who pushed back against Jesus’ request for water and asked hard questions of Him who rewarded her with the answer that He is the Messiah,

or Mary, Lazarus’ sister, who anointed Jesus, expressing her love and devotion, wordlessly exposing the lack of love in Judas’ heart

and Mary Magdalene, who refused to abandon Jesus’ tomb or hide her tears and who was honored to see Him after His resurrection.

These women, surrendered to God but willing to be difficult because of Him and to make Him known or to protect others, impacted generations.

In my life, difficult women are the ones who challenge the point I’m making and interrogate me to back it up, cite resources, and defend my view. The discomfort raises my hackles but their refusal to take my thoughts at face value reveals their intelligence, their commitment to truth, and their persistence in keeping me honest out of love for Jesus and for me. May their tribe increase. 

Who is the difficult woman in your life who sharpens your iron with hers? Who is the difficult woman needing healthy boundaries before you fall prey to the land mines she’s buried? Who are the difficult women in history you admire like Sojourner Truth, Amy Carmichael, Harriet Tubman, Nellie Bly, or Shi Meiyu. Being a difficult woman isn’t the problem. Refusing to surrender to God makes all the difference.

Lord, make me a difficult woman, willing to create discomfort in others when truth, justice, love, and souls are at stake. Help me outgrow the difficulty I present through selfishness, pride, criticism, and the need to engage for argument’s sake. Give me the courage and humility to be a difficult woman for you and thank you for every difficult woman, surrendered to you, asking hard questions, pushing boundaries, fighting for the innocent, and raising issues of eternal worth. Deliver them from evil and let their influence impact the next generation and those to come.

Share your thoughts! I respond to every comment and reply to every email. I want this to be a conversation!  You’re invited to attend an in-person mini-retreat for women and book launch on Saturday, March 2nd, from 12:30pm-4:30 pm at the First Baptist Church of Hope Valley in Rhode Island.

I will share two messages about women in the Bible and their influence. There will be music, delicious treats, trivia, giveaways, discussion, and the blessing of the book! Email if you plan to attend: lorisroel@gmail.com

The headlines and talk shows are full of difficult women – there are two kinds of difficult women. Which one are you? https://t.co/9vEpXooOgs #women #womenofgod

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) January 18, 2024

I Need Your Help

Hi Everyone!

I’m Tammy Karasek, The Launch Team Geek, and Lori’s Launch Team Manager! I’m jumping into her newsletter today to bring you some exciting news.

Well, two exciting news items exactly. And the first one is because of so many of you wanting to help authors but you have a full schedule already!

Lori’s book, Graceful Influence, Making a Lasting Impact through Lessons from Women of the Bible, will be released on March 5, 2024. It’s going to be a good one, too!

This brings us to the task at hand. We need to form a Launch Team to help share the great news of this new series. That application is in this newsletter.

But first, because of you, I am adding a new way for us to help Lori. Many of you, who’ve been on launch teams I’ve managed, have sent me private emails from them saying your schedule is full at that time or other reasons you couldn’t do an actual full launch team, but wish there was a way to help the author.

So, I’ve thought of a way to do that! If this launch session finds your schedule too full for a launch team, but you still want to help, this is for you! This is called our Launch Crew!

A Launch Crew will not be required to join the Facebook Group, or do the extra activities to share about the book. Instead, the Crew will receive an Email on Monday and on occasion a second one on Thursday with a graphic and the wording and hashtags to go with that graphic. Then on launch day, March 5, 2024, post an honest review on Amazon and other retail sites the book will be available.

The Crew Member needs to download the graphic, copy and paste the wording included into a post and add the graphic. Then post it on your social media sites. That’s it!

Each Crew Member will receive a NetGalley link for Graceful Influence to read.

If that’s you for this session, click the link below and fill out the application:

Click here to apply for the CREW for Graceful Influence.

The next part of the Launch is the Full Launch Team which all members are required to join the Private Facebook Group.

In this group, you will be given graphics to share, extra optional tasks and instructions and assistance along the way as we work together to get the news out about Graceful Influence. This is the Launch Team most of you may be familiar with.

This group requires a little more work, but we make it fun and there’s usually some surprises along the way! It is highly preferred you have more than Facebook to share the graphics.

If you have the time from January 15 through March 12, 2024 and would love to help Lori share about Graceful Influence, this Launch Team application is for you.

Click on the link and fill out the form completely and submit:

Click here to apply for the LAUNCH TEAM for Graceful Influence.

Please apply for only one of the options.

 

 

 

If you have any questions, I’m happy to answer them at launchteamgeek@gmail.com.

Did Jesus Come to Make Children’s Dreams Come True?

Which sounds more like Christmas: dreams or reality?

If you believe all the commercials and holiday specials, Christmas is about making dreams come true. Funny, no one told Jesus. He didn’t come to work for Walt Disney; He came to fulfill His Father’s will.

Ask Mary. It wasn’t her dream to start her married life under a cloud of suspicion.

Ask Joseph. It wasn’t his dream to have his friends wonder if he was a fornicator or a chump.

It wasn’t this young couple’s dream to spend years running and hiding from a powerful and angry king. Nor was it the dream of families in Judea to watch Herod’s soldiers kill their infant sons.

Jesus didn’t come to make dreams come true. He came to teach us to dream better dreams. He came to lead us to the eternal reality that can be our life with God forever because of Jesus.

He arrived a poor child so we knew He understood the pain of going without. He endured rejection, suffering, and trials so we knew He understood our distress, too.

He was misunderstood, betrayed, arrested, beaten, mocked, and humiliated. Those He loved abandoned Him. He faced an unjust conviction and died at the hands of arrogant and manipulative blind guides – while

His mother watched. Christmas isn’t about dreams – not the dreams we normally dream.

It’s a celebration of God’s love for us made flesh in the person of Jesus Christ. God came and lived with us. That wasn’t a dream; it was real.

It wasn’t about making our dreams come true. It was about delivering us from the lesser dreams of this world so we are free to dream eternal dreams.

He is the originator of dreams. We are His design and He designed us to dream. But we have come under the curse of one who convinced us to trade our glory for lesser dreams. That is why we spend the holidays at Stuff-Mart thinking that we can purchase all we need.

If you love your children this Christmas, don’t work to make their dreams come true. I mean, of course, get them gifts and enjoy seeing their excitement at receiving a new toy, but don’t imagine that’s the essence of Christmas and don’t teach them it’s the essence either.

Let them know of a greater story than they could ever dream. A reality that makes all our dreams pale in comparison. Help them see the wonder of love, beauty, joy, and peace that never end.

And if you are childless or your children are grown and far away, the wonder of Christmas can still be yours because it’s not about making children’s dreams come true. It’s about living in the beautiful light of Jesus’ love forever. You are His child. You live in His love. You know the wonder of the season because it’s Him.

Christmas is our opportunity to dream the best dream – the dream of living in the reality of life with Jesus Christ – one that never ends.

Remember: Jesus didn’t come to make dreams come true. He came to teach us to dream better dreams.

Read: I Peter 1:3-9

Pray: Do you have a dream to release to Jesus? Do it today. Trust it over to Him.

What are your thoughts on Christmas? I respond to every comment and reply to every email. I love hearing from you. Merry Christmas!

Did Jesus Come to Make Children's Dreams Come True? – https://t.co/IZq1cET76s #Christmas2023 #Jesus

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) December 18, 2023

Live Expectantly

Expecting.

What do you live expecting? Some people have abandoned their expectations while others show up every day expecting. Living expectantly sharpens the senses, pushing a soul closer towards life’s cutting edge, and heightens every experience.

Living expectantly keeps our eyes and ears open, like a father sitting alone in his chair in the darkened living room alert for headlights or the sound of tires on the drive letting him know his daughter has returned home safe and sound.

I remember vivid snapshots of moments from when I was expecting my first child.

Watching the stick change color just weeks after my wedding. Oh boy, do I remember that moment! I wanted children, desperately, but this wasn’t the plan – not yet. This baby wasn’t scheduled according to my timing. Until that moment, I thought I had life under control. God had His own plan and I was thankful to have nine months to prepare.

Then, the slow-motion moment when I hung up from speaking with my doctor. I was only eight months along but my body needed this baby out now. Head to the hospital, he’d instructed. We’ll induce labor. I glanced around my apartment knowing that life would completely change before I returned.

Finally, nineteen hours of labor. The rush of excitement welcoming my son into the world. Alone with him that night watching him breathe, snow forming a blanket on the city, I panicked. I’d grown accustomed to expecting. I’d focused nine months on preparing for labor and childbirth. That was over. Now what? Now I beheld new life. Held new life in my arms.

Humanity, too, is expecting. We’ve had years of warning to prepare for Christ’s return. At some point, His plan will interrupt all others, coming upon us like labor.

For an expectant woman, nine months can feel like an eternity. Even though she knows it will happen, it can feel like she is waiting for a moment that will never arrive. Even when labor begins, the reality of a new life bursting onto the planet will not hit her until she holds the child in her arms.

The world is like a woman in her last trimester. Pregnant with God’s plan for so long, weary and wondering if eternity will ever truly arrive. Jesus tells us the signs that labor has begun and every mother from Eve to Mary to me knows that once labor begins it takes over and there is no way out but through. It will all be worth it for the new life at the other end – if we have prepared.

These are things to speak about this Advent season. As we hear reports of wars and rumors of wars on the horizon, remind people that the world is beginning to feel the pangs of labor.

When others mention Mary and her baby remind them that that baby is due again only this time, He rides in on the clouds. Speak of the need for preparation, not for giving and receiving gifts but for the time to come.

It will come.

Some in Jesus time were so expectant, they were ready for Messiah. Luke wrote in 3:15-16 esv, “As the people were in expectation, and all were questioning in their hearts concerning John, whether he might be the Christ, John answered them all, saying, “I baptize you with water, but he who is mightier than I is coming, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.”

Others had abandoned expectancy and they missed the One for whom their hearts had longed.

Just as the Messiah arrived in His time back in Bethlehem, so He will arrive at the end of the age. Just as mothers read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” so we should be studying God’s Word because we are expecting His return.

Speak of these things with others this advent season, loved ones. Make the most of every opportunity. Live expecting Him and you will live in the abundant life He came to provide.

How do you live expectantly? I’d love to know. I respond to every comment and reply to every email. You mean so much to me, you who read these thoughts I write. We’re a team, don’t you know?

Ways to bless my ministry of words:

Pray for me. Email and let me know you’re praying for me at lorisroel@gmail.com. Every writer for Jesus needs your prayers.Submit a review of one of my books to Amazon or to Goodreads. This helps raise awareness about the book.Follow me on Substack. This is the other place I post blogs. You can subscribe here: https://loriroeleveld.substack.com/aboutPreorder my exciting new book releasing early in 2024: Graceful Influence: Making a Lasting Impact through Lessons from Women of the Bible.Invite me to speak at your church, small group, or next women’s event. I work with every budget (even free). I’d love to come a bless you with a word from God’s Word! Email me at lorisroel@gmailcomSupport the upkeep of this website/blog through Patreon. Sign up here: Support Lori through Patreon.Email and let me know which topics you want to see more posts about (and which you’d be happy to see less frequently). I’d LOVE to hear from you at lorisroel@gmail.com

 

How to live expecting https://t.co/fXR9uy09NQ #Jesus #Advent

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) December 12, 2023

Never Enough! Until Jesus . . .

Abandon deficit thinking and live in the abundance that is ours in Christ.

That’s what I told a group of women gathered in an auditorium last weekend.

I described how, like Martha, too often we focus on all we’re not, all that’s not right, everything still needing to be done, and all the help we’re not getting. We forget all we have in Jesus.

Jesus redirected Martha to make the same choice her sister, Mary was making. Mary was focused on all she now had in Jesus. Martha took His direction. When Lazarus died, she ran out to meet Jesus. Her mind was not set on the brother she’d lost but on what she had in Jesus, the resurrection and the life.

Anyway, that’s what I told these women. It’s the truth and I fully believe it.

But then, alone in my hotel room, I let the enemy and my insecurities whisper to me about all the ways my talk hadn’t been enough, all the ways

I hadn’t measured up, and all that I was lacking as a speaker. 

Sigh.

Fortunately, this wasn’t my first rodeo. Just about the time the devil tried to convince me I was a hypocrite, I hit my knees and remembered how tired I was. Tired, drained, spent. Susceptible.

It wasn’t just this single event but several weeks of intensive speaking, coaching, writing, family celebrations, and one or two crises all bleeding into the oncoming holiday. I have a vacation planned but it’s Not. Quite. Here.

One more talk. Christmas preparations. Extra church services and family gatherings. Cleaning. Shopping.

Sigh.

I just need to get to that broom tree and take a long winter’s nap.

At least I’d been transparent in my talk about this being an ongoing struggle in my life. Jesus meets me in it but truly, I often wrestle with feeling as if I’m not enough. Not thin enough, pretty enough, talented enough, smart enough, frugal enough, generous enough, spiritual enough, hard-working enough, educated enough, rested enough . . . well, you get the picture. The tsunami usually crashes when I’m worn out.

I have this image in my mind of how I should be at this point of my life, having walked with Jesus for many, many (many) decades. It’s kind of a cross between Sister Julienne in Call the Midwife, Olivia Walton, and Billy Graham (minus the stadiums). 

Seriously, with all the Bible I’ve absorbed, all the miracles I’ve witnessed, and all the blessings I’ve received from Jesus, I should be floating through the flotsam and jetsam of my days with the grace of St. Patrick forgiving those who took him captive. Instead, I still more often resemble Peter–all bold proclamations followed by lungs full of water from beneath the waves.

Fortunately, I listened when I talked. Especially to the Scripture I read aloud. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The stories I shared during my talk were full of times I was weak but now I can see how God used my weakness to glorify Himself. The secret to those stories is they’re in the rearview mirror of my days.  I have learned the end of some of those stories but I’m still in the midst of this one, so, you know, I’m still grasping for my snorkel.

If I’m honest, I don’t like humility. I mean, I enjoy it others but I’m much more comfortable with overconfidence and a kind of snarky superiority in myself.

I’d enjoy humility more if it were a simple download but the pathway to a humble heart lies through weakness. Insults. Hardships. Persecutions. Calamities. Unpleasant stuff, that.

Just kidding. I’m down for becoming more like Jesus but when I look at all He went through for me, I know I can’t stick with that assignment without Him. Thank God for the Holy Spirit.

God is teaching me not to try to gasp my way from vacation to vacation but instead, to bring Him my weakness, my weariness, my snarky superiority, and my overconfidence. It’s amazing what He can do with what I have to offer Him.

And, I’m learning to set my mind on all that is mine in Jesus. There are so many Bible passages I read quickly but instead, I should linger.

Such as 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 ESV, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

I look forward to glory when the struggles of this life are a story whose ending I can tell but until then, I live by faith.

Face-to-face with my own weakness, frailty, and imperfection, I hold up the mirror of God’s Word to see the vision of who I am because of Jesus. And you, too. If you are in Christ, you are a new creation with a story that will continue into the light and life of eternity. Even if right now, you’re tired, too.

We perch on the advent of all we have to celebrate in Christ and our gratitude grows for the miracle of it all–the miracle of redemption and grace. May it continue to grow until we see Him, face-to-face!

What are your thoughts? I respond to every comment and reply to every email! I love to hear from you.

If you’d like a copy of my FREE Advent download Don’t Treat Jesus Like a Baby, just click and it will be available to you!

Did you know my newest book, releasing in late February, is available for pre-order! Graceful Influence: Making a Lasting Impact through Lessons from Women of the Bible will be a wonderful book to read with a friend (you’re going to WANT to discuss these women) or small group! I’d love to come and speak to the women in YOUR church!

Here’s an endorsement from the amazing Cindy Sproles:

“Graceful Influence – wow, oh wow. I’ve read other things by Roeleveld, but this is by far her best work. Taking us through scripture and stopping on specific women like Deborah and Queen Jezebel throws an entirely new light on godly women’s impact in their current worlds. Each chapter sheds a new and unique thought process that will draw you in as you read, force you to contemplate, and insist you reconsider how you’ve looked at these women. Roeleveld’s special insights will help you strive to grow in new ways. This book is absolutely a book for everyone’s nightstand. It will be one you read and reread again and again. I know I have.” ~Cindy K. Sproles, Best-selling and award-winning author of Meet Me Where I Am Lord, and This is Where It Ends.

Ever feel as if you’ll never be enough? https://t.co/Xr61eJ5yrF #advent #Jesus

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) November 27, 2023